Emo Teen Angst (aka This is a PJ Rambling 2)

[PJ]

On 2007-03-25 13:41, WrathOfMegid said it best:
There, I'm done. Don't care what you fanboys think.



I don't care what your opinion is of me, if you've got nothing nice and/or constructive to say, shut your mouth.

Yes, it can be MEAN and constructive, but otherwise, please, don't.

I've had a lot of, "I'm a sad sad kid with nothing good about him," rants lately. Unfortunately, that's not about to change.

I'm almost halfway through my final semester of High School. And, despite how often I keep telling myself how I'll be less stupid (Lazy) and improve myself, and be all around a better person every semester.

It never happens. It feels like everything I've done this semester is just SCREAMING at me, "You're a fucking failure PJ, go fucking kill yourself, you're wasting our air." (I'm not suicidal, btw http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wacko.gif)

So, let's just go about this stupid rant at a random pace, shall we? At the beginning of the semester, I had 4 courses. Chemistry, English, Stage Band, Biology.

3 or 4 weeks later, I only had 3 courses. I dropped Biology cause, no matter how hard I tried to understand all that was being thrown at me, I really couldn't grasp it.

But it was all my fault in the first place, really. I didn't take Grade 11 Biology in Grade 11, so last semester, I took the course. I half-assed my whole way through, in the second half of THAT semester, I pretty much just played Pokémon the whole way through class. I barely managed a pass. And here I am, in this University [bound] Biology, for God knows why. In that short period of time, despite TRYING, I had managed a 23. Kudos PJ, you've done a good job fucking yourself.

So, I figured, if I dropped Biology, I'd have more time to work for my other classes, and have good marks there. Atleast, that's what I had convinced myself in my head.

Now, because I'm a lazy fuck, my marks in Chemistry are ass too, and I'm GOOD at that class. I was getting a solid (lol) 57 before I bombed my test today. Because I kept holding off studying, it was one of those, "I'll do it later, I still have time," going on and on until I HAD no time. And english, although my marks have been good uptil now, I;ve just handed in my most assed-written assignment in all of time. It was a mistake to hand it in; I could have just waited till Monday, and had it done GOOD. But no, and I did this shit just this MORNING. And english is the class I need to get into University, mostly.

So, that's where all my trying to do better is coming from. University. I want so badly to get into University, but then, pfft, yeah, my effort REALLY shows it. Cause, again, dumbfuck.

Let's jump yet again to a smaller issue.

I had a job back in November for a month. I worked hard, long hours [long considering I was in school, and this job has compeltely fucked with my sleeping schedule. I'm constantly tired cause I can't go to bed at a good time, and I just never sleep well]. So I had money. And I had intended to keep that money going well.

WHAT. HAPPENED.

Like, I'll admit, I spent a lot of money. I made around $600.

$200 for my PS2/PSU. $100 for my University application.

That's half of it already.

So, all my best friends Christmas presents combined, thats' gotta be another $100. Best friend surprise party, sometimes going out, that CAN'T be more than $100.

Where did my money go? I feel stupid for spending it... well, stupidly, I guess. But it was around Christmas time, too...

So, anyways, continue, I'm retarded.

One of my friends is treating my like dirt for some reason beyond my comprehension. I really can't think of any details, but being constantly belittled and hit in the head certainly isn't my idea of a good friend. Yet, again, cause I am a dumbfuck, I'd feel sorry to say anything about it.

See, this is another thing. I'd just post this in my Xanga, but one of my readers is one of my best friends, and when I'm sad, she's sad that I'm sad, but I never want to make her sad, so I'd feel bad. I'd rather look retarded in front of a large group of people than make her worry.

Maybe I AM depressed. Stupidly.

Some stuff involving my ex-girlfriend I'd rather not touch on.

The only thing I seem to have going on for me is how happy my music teacher is with me. And as much as that makes me happy, I really wish that were enough.

So, random shit here and there, blah blah blah. It's not even that bad, I'm just being emotastic.

[Firocket1690]

I'm not trying to be insulting in any form, but I never developed any study habits either. Just flew through middle school, and got into a decently ranked high school.

Even if you don't carefully take class notes, pay attention, etc. Just do your homework. If anything, homework is priority. Regardless of all other logic. Once you manage time for homework, and understand it, everything else will come. Forcing homework into your life does quite a few things.

Firstly, it reviews the day's lesson, weather (I used the wrong one, shutup) or not you paid attention. Secondly, it'll stick fresh in your mind, for daily repetition. Lastly, if you can remotely grasp the concept of the homework to begin with, the rest of the class; test, discussion, projects, etc are usually a breeze.

Meh, might be my school subconsciously forcing it on me, but I've become a strong advocate of homework. It happens, when you're assigned a bunch from each teacher daily.

[Mystil]

Yes, it can be MEAN and constructive, but otherwise, please, don't.
......This is coming from a guy who was always rude and insincere in my own threads of the same nature.

So I should be one nasty MF'er right now but why not..?

Because I'd never stoop to that level. Problems are real and shouldn't be mocked/made fun of.

You aren't stupid.. (but it's wise to not compare your intellect with other people. Cause if they are smarter..you'll begin to think you're stupid). And I think you've set your standards just a little to high for yourself. And yes, you are heading down the road of depression if you continue to stress over this.

A good method of studying is doing it the minute you get home. Never ever put it off..or like you said, you will be doing it when you have no time. You are in control....be adament about your success.

[Jive18]

I completely understand the laziness PJ; I too am in the final quarter of my high school career. It is so damn hard to keep going when I know the end is close (less than 30 actual school days now).

As Firerocket said, just force your way through. I've been a procrastinator since freshman year, but that last-minute panic still gets me to do what needs done.

Good luck, hope you get into University.

[PJ]

On 2007-03-31 17:18, Mystil wrote:

Yes, it can be MEAN and constructive, but otherwise, please, don't.
......This is coming from a guy who was always rude and insincere in my own threads of the same nature.

So I should be one nasty MF'er right now but why not..?

Because I'd never stoop to that level. Problems are real and shouldn't be mocked/made fun of.

I forgot to mention, I'm a hypocrit too http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wacko.gif

[DonRoyale]

Good thing I have a "Get Out Of Jail Free Card" for university if I'm unable to make it.

Because I know I'm good at it.

But still, you know I'll take your side whether or not you're right. Hell, what kind of friend would I be if I didn't? http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wacko.gif

[DurakkenX]

Take this step by step...

School...
1 of 3 things is happening...
1. You really don't like school and don't want to go to university, but you're parents, friends, or culture has you brainwashed into thinking that you do. It's not for everyone...
2. You REALLY want to get into university and you are over stressing which is causing you to do worse. It's known that most people, regardless of what they say, do not work better under stress.
3. You are simply feeling the senior year daze and don't want to work and this is completely natural. Go with it and make the most of your last year in HS. God knows I would take back my last year (and most of the preceding years) of HS and let loose to have fun more often.

My suggestion...
Step back and look into yourself. Figure out which of the three it is. If it's 1, relax and go have fun, if 2, relax and go have a little fun, it'll help you do better, if 3, relax...it's normal. Over all...just relax.

Money...
first off, spending $200 on PS2/PSU isn't all that bad a thing if it's how you relax...see above ^.^

secondly $100 on application >.> not a bad decision.

thirdly, Christmas and more importantly FRIENDS, are not about money. If they have a problem with you being broke, fuck them, they are not your friends.

Friend that is insulting...
That's how some people show their love. Me and my bro almost never have a conversation without some sort of insult being flung about. The difference of course is that we know we are just kidding. If you are having a problem coping with whatever this friend is saying, talk to them about it and ask them to stop. If they don't stop...they aren't your friend. Get rid of them. They aren't worth your time to hang around.

[Shiro_Ryuu]

When I graduated high school, I felt the same way sort of, and I was also having a feeling of depression after graduating as well, which I couldn't understand for some reason, but I was just feeling very depressed. Depression can go wtih time, at least it did for me. I'm sure you'll feel better eventually, especially if you try and join university after graduating (I don't know you irl, but you seem like a smart enough person to be able to get accepted into something).

[Solstis]

I'm almost on my last year of college (grad school next, maybe), and I sitll haven't learned my lesson about time management and study habits. ;o;

[Kent]

I like how you say you could have "had it done GOOD," in regards to your English assignment.

As far as "study habits" go, I'd recommend against them.

In their place, I'd recommend "paying attention in class" habits. It's how you go and 4.0 all your classes, without studying. It's really paid off for me, so far.

I realize you're talking about high school, though, which amounts to more or less zilch, in most circumstances. Still, good habits should be developed before you try and lolsucceed in a college/university.

[Tengoku]

Life is hard, buy a helmet.

You want to improve? GET OFF YOUR ASS AND DO IT. The Nike commercials are right. You either do it or you fail. Your choice. Your future. Or, you can sit here and whine, like you always do. Your choice. Your future.

No words of kindness, no words of pretending to understand, just the cold and hard truth. Either bust your ass or STOP WASTING MY AIR. There's too many people on this earth who work stupid hard every bloody day just for basic survival, for me to care about someone who has had electricity his entire life, and for me to give a shit about his whining.

Suck it up, sunshine, you life ain't half bad. If this is all you have to worry about, you life fucking rocks hardcore compared to the majority of the people on this planet.

[Solstis]

What is this air thing? Is there an air shortage? Is this the postapocalyptic future? I pose that Tengoku is Cable.

[Sayara]

While doing poorly in class is more so your fault (like, asking help; not being cowardly to not ask, study, no psu etc etc etc) I can understand how struggling in anything is as frustrating as ever (trust me on that, I've struggled a plenty http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wacko.gif )

Dropping the class was for the best; The more stress off of you is the better, especially if so many other things besides school is driving you distress. Spring break is coming for you soon right? Take that time to do some soul searching, get yourself re-arranged; re-sorted, refreshed and all the stuff. A breather if you will, (still do your homework of course!)

Don't be ashamed of not getting into the University at the first time. Going the path of Community C. -> University is a very acceptable means of getting through school and they are alot smaller so more student/teacher confrences can be used (and needed if you continue to have trouble.)

If $ seems to be an issue can you try to sign up for some finacial aid? a Loan perhaps?

And you're not retarded you're being compassionate to your friend, and thats truely respectable.

So go break a leg, not yours though.

[PJ]

On 2007-04-01 13:37, Tengoku wrote:
No words of kindness, no words of pretending to understand, just the cold and hard truth. Either bust your ass or STOP WASTING MY AIR. There's too many people on this earth who work stupid hard every bloody day just for basic survival, for me to care about someone who has had electricity his entire life, and for me to give a shit about his whining.

Suck it up, sunshine, you life ain't half bad. If this is all you have to worry about, you life fucking rocks hardcore compared to the majority of the people on this planet.



I never said my life sucked, ok?

Somehow, I don't believe I asked anyone to care. Only the GOOD people already chose to. Or maybe they didn't, I don't know. But I especially never asked you.


On 2007-03-30 20:13, PJ wrote:
So, random shit here and there, blah blah blah. It's not even that bad, I'm just being emotastic.



I already said it myself. I don't need you to say it again, you know, only proving your lack of reading comprehension.

I'm in the rants section, I am RANTING, deal with it, precious.

[Tengoku]

On 2007-04-01 20:52, PJ wrote:
I already said it myself. I don't need you to say it again, you know, only proving your lack of reading comprehension.

I'm in the rants section, I am RANTING, deal with it, precious.
This is the rants section? NO WAI! Oh wait, we're in a public forum and you're being a whiny bitch. I think, hmm, I'll post in that same public forum and tell you to to stop being a whiny bitch and get over yourself. Otherwise you'll be a whiny bitch the rest of your life.
Somehow, I don't believe I asked anyone to care. Only the GOOD people already chose to. Or maybe they didn't, I don't know. But I especially never asked you.
That's what's great about a public forum, if you post there, you're telling everyone that it's ok to respond. Post on a non-public forum and you'd be in the right about not asking me.

So, what exactly is good about soft-handing you and your issues? Oh! I get it! You're not ranting, you're fishing! You're looking for people to sympathise with you and feel your pain. So you can feel good about yourself again. Aww. How sweet.

Fine, here's a good suggestion: grow a pair. Life is what you make of it. If you don't like how things are going, then have the stones to try and change it. You don't sound like the stone-having type.

And what's with this precious bullshit? You attracted to me? Unfortunately for you, I like manly (strong and confident) men in my bed, not whiny-limp-wristed emo-tards. So, you're out of the running. Sorry!

[TorterraEndor]

Holy shit, grow up and stop trolling.

Its pretty ironic that you're saying hes fishing for sympathy, when you're fishing for arguments, especially over someone else's personal life, who doesn't involve you in any way shape or form.

Grow up.

[Tengoku]

On 2007-04-02 13:34, TorterraEndor wrote:
Holy shit, grow up and stop trolling.

Its pretty ironic that you're saying hes fishing for sympathy, when you're fishing for arguments, especially over someone else's personal life, who doesn't involve you in any way shape or form.

Grow up.
It's a public forum. Quite obviously you don't know what that means. How ironic.

He can post his opinion while I cannot? Quite interesting, this double standard that you seek to employ. You would prefer an echo chamber perhaps? You might wish to seek out a mirror when telling another to "grow up", if this is your mindset.

Perhaps there is another reason for my statements beyond that of mere "fishing for arguments"?

[Solstis]

One fine Spring day, Tengoku had just finished baking a pie. Tengoku set the pie (it was filled with the essence of delicious) on the window-still (it was very wide) and sniffed its fine aroma.

When Tengoku came back to check on the chilling pie, he noticed that someone had snatched it! Tengoku then fell to his knees, pumped his fist(s) in the air and yelled "Nooooo!"



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Solstis on 2007-04-02 23:14 ]</font>

[TorterraEndor]

Sure. Its a good thing this isn't worth my time giving you what I want, that is.

Good luck PJ, whatever happens.

Although I was unaware of this turn of events, as I was in an accident which involved me biting through just under my bottom lip, I had always called this encounter a life experience, which taught me not to put my front teeth on such spot. But apparently, this such event was an opinion, and the stitches under my lip may or may not be real, as there is no evidence to support such an opinion.

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: TorterraEndor on 2007-04-03 09:28 ]</font>

[DonRoyale]

Oh great.

It's as if people enjoy ruining our threads.

Tengoku, I believe PJ made it crystal clear he doesn't give a rat's ass about your opinion. So do us a favor and stop trying to force it on him to evoke a response. You're looking like a retard doing that. (Hence the replies.)

[CupOfCoffee]

I kind of felt like saying something snarky and tell-offish to Tengoku, but when I realized he or she is probably hunched over at his or her computer mashing the refresh button again and again hoping that another person will do exactly that, I didn't really feel like it anymore.

There there, PJ. Luckily, you're still a kid with many years in front of him, and in just a few of them, I'll bet you'll remember all these things and just chuckle because, as you said, it's not really that bad. Not life threatening, at least.

[opaopajr]

well now, seems like we could all use a rousing refrain of good cheer! join in everybody!

You Are My Sunshine
My only sunshine.
You make me happy
When skies are grey....