W0LB0T
May 26, 2007, 01:20 AM
This post will be long and grueling. Don’t tell me you haven’t been warned. Any road rules mentioned in this post apply to south Australian roads.
Glossary: read first to understand my terms.
K`s = kilometers per hour
Commodore = a very common Australian made sedan
Indicator = the flashing lights on the car that indicate your turning direction
Hoon = a hoon has one or more of these properties: likes to exceed the speed limit, drives recklessly, has a loud exhaust system, subwoofer at max volume (oontz oontz oontz oontz oontz chicks chicks chicks chicks chicks oontz oontz oontz oontz fully sick fully sick oontz oontz oontz oontz oontz oontz ……), has windows open, commonly found at McDonalds, car is often modified and looks uglier than it was orignaly.
4wd = four wheel drive. Referred to in the US as a SUV
Tradie = some one who works in a trade e.g.: construction, plumbing etc….
Semi = a large truck with one or more trailers
Tow bar = a large meatl bracket fixed to the rear of the car for attaching trailers
Caravan = a portable home on a trailer. Commonly used by retirees to holiday in.
Changing lanes:
I believe that there are some people out there that get some kind of perverse pleasure from changing lanes. I mean why the hell do you need to change lanes so often. There is nothing wrong with doing it if you need to, but every not 10 seconds. I mean come on there was no point and now your struck behind some slow old guy. But don’t worry they will be back. This property in often found in 4wd`ers and commodore owners. And they never use the indicator. Ever.
Mobile phones:
What the f&$k is so important that you need to be on the phone while driving. If you’re a tradie or business man you often get phone calls so you have an excuse. But you should be using a hands free kit while driving. There is a very harsh fine if the cops see you talking on the phone while driving. I hope to high hell that you get caught. But every one sent to tempt fate. If some one calls you PULL THE F$#K OVER. Now text messaging while driving if F!#$%`n more moronic. That’s about as smart as trying to eat an oncoming freight train.
Roundabouts and other unsignaled intersections:
GIVE WAY TO YOUR RIGHT FOR F#$K SAKE. Especially you in the 4wd.
Multi laned right hand turns:
When making a turn in one, stay in your lane. There is a F!#$%`n line on the road to tell you where to go. When a semi goes in to one of these corners do not get on the out side of them. The trailers swing out into the other lane. This is written on the back of semis so don’t say you didn’t know.
Tailgating:
Why is it necessary to be so close to the car in front. Are you trying to slipstream to save fuel, or make a slingshot pass on them. Your tailgating will not speed up the front car, neither will wiggling the car in the lane will either, but it will look funny. If they person in front of a tailgater brakes suddenly, they tailgater is in a world of hurt. The rear of the front car will have a small dent; the tailgater will often end up with a punctured radiator. That will learn ya. Common offenders are commodore drivers and hoons.
50`ks
the speed limit is 50k`s in the backstreets. Not 60. this law has been in place for many years. But the speed limit is usually 60k`s on main roads (those big ones with multiple lanes you old bastard).
Hair and speed:
My brother and I came up with a theory. The grayer the hair the slower you drive.
Combine this with a caravan and a 4wd. You might as well walk.
No wonder there is so much road rage.
thats all for now. ill probaly come up with more later while driving to work.
Glossary: read first to understand my terms.
K`s = kilometers per hour
Commodore = a very common Australian made sedan
Indicator = the flashing lights on the car that indicate your turning direction
Hoon = a hoon has one or more of these properties: likes to exceed the speed limit, drives recklessly, has a loud exhaust system, subwoofer at max volume (oontz oontz oontz oontz oontz chicks chicks chicks chicks chicks oontz oontz oontz oontz fully sick fully sick oontz oontz oontz oontz oontz oontz ……), has windows open, commonly found at McDonalds, car is often modified and looks uglier than it was orignaly.
4wd = four wheel drive. Referred to in the US as a SUV
Tradie = some one who works in a trade e.g.: construction, plumbing etc….
Semi = a large truck with one or more trailers
Tow bar = a large meatl bracket fixed to the rear of the car for attaching trailers
Caravan = a portable home on a trailer. Commonly used by retirees to holiday in.
Changing lanes:
I believe that there are some people out there that get some kind of perverse pleasure from changing lanes. I mean why the hell do you need to change lanes so often. There is nothing wrong with doing it if you need to, but every not 10 seconds. I mean come on there was no point and now your struck behind some slow old guy. But don’t worry they will be back. This property in often found in 4wd`ers and commodore owners. And they never use the indicator. Ever.
Mobile phones:
What the f&$k is so important that you need to be on the phone while driving. If you’re a tradie or business man you often get phone calls so you have an excuse. But you should be using a hands free kit while driving. There is a very harsh fine if the cops see you talking on the phone while driving. I hope to high hell that you get caught. But every one sent to tempt fate. If some one calls you PULL THE F$#K OVER. Now text messaging while driving if F!#$%`n more moronic. That’s about as smart as trying to eat an oncoming freight train.
Roundabouts and other unsignaled intersections:
GIVE WAY TO YOUR RIGHT FOR F#$K SAKE. Especially you in the 4wd.
Multi laned right hand turns:
When making a turn in one, stay in your lane. There is a F!#$%`n line on the road to tell you where to go. When a semi goes in to one of these corners do not get on the out side of them. The trailers swing out into the other lane. This is written on the back of semis so don’t say you didn’t know.
Tailgating:
Why is it necessary to be so close to the car in front. Are you trying to slipstream to save fuel, or make a slingshot pass on them. Your tailgating will not speed up the front car, neither will wiggling the car in the lane will either, but it will look funny. If they person in front of a tailgater brakes suddenly, they tailgater is in a world of hurt. The rear of the front car will have a small dent; the tailgater will often end up with a punctured radiator. That will learn ya. Common offenders are commodore drivers and hoons.
50`ks
the speed limit is 50k`s in the backstreets. Not 60. this law has been in place for many years. But the speed limit is usually 60k`s on main roads (those big ones with multiple lanes you old bastard).
Hair and speed:
My brother and I came up with a theory. The grayer the hair the slower you drive.
Combine this with a caravan and a 4wd. You might as well walk.
No wonder there is so much road rage.
thats all for now. ill probaly come up with more later while driving to work.