Rant: Paris hilton out of jail

[Night_Raid]

http://www.accesshollywood.com/news/ah5644.shtml

OMGLIEKWTFCAPSLOOOOOOOCK. I'M TIRED OF THIS SHIT!
God damnit! I'm just about to go into dry heaves, I'm so pissed off. Why the FUCK is it that just because someone's rich and they just so happen to have a vagina more active than Coopers on open mic night that the law jumps through hoops just to give them a slap on the wrists?

I mean what the fuck? Seriously. Just because she's America's famous little whore doesn't mean she didn't endanger just as many lives as a drunk deadbeat father could of. This people, is bullshit on wheat bread. First they decide to put her in isolation away from all the other inmates, hell, if anything that's EXACTLY what she needed; to crawl on the ground with all the other felonious worms to show her she's just one fuck up from getting locked down with every other law breaker. I assure you that'd teach her that money doesn't make you untouchable. This is pure justice system corruption right there, and I'd absolutely LOVE to see someone try and prove me wrong.



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Night_Raid on 2007-06-07 13:44 ]</font>

[Feelmirath]

She's not allowed out of her own home for 40 days, though.

But I sort of agree, just because she's a camwhore doesn't mean she should be let off early.

[Kent]

Apparently, the iron fist of the law is the only thing Paris Hilton is incapable of riding out.

[Firocket1690]

add her as a friend on myspace, and wait for bulletins. http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wacko.gif

[xeku]

Oh I dunno - 40 days stuck in her home (and out of the limelight) might be more effective than prison......this is torture for attention whores.

Heh, plus, she may really have gotten the "rash" - that prison staph is some nasty stuff....

[Night_Raid]

You all seem to be missing the fact I'm trying to make a valid point. No, I didn't make this topic just for shits and giggles. I made it to take a chunk out of the American justice systems corrupt ass.

This rivals O.J. level bullshit on the bullshit-ometer. Can I get out of prison if I say "I have a rash"? HELL NO! By that logic every felon this side of the states could go out and bang a herpes infested prostitute the day before the police come to pick them up and get off on sickness.

[Sinue_v2]

Jail was too lenient a punishment if you ask me. I'd rather have seen her out in that one Arizona prison. You know.. the one that's just a tent surrounded by hundreds of miles of blazing hot desert. I want to see her out there shoveling sand dunes from point A to point B, and then back again all day long. I want to see blisters covering those pretty mincured fingers.

Make the bitch WORK for a day (figuratively) in her life. That would be adequate punishment.

[AlexCraig]

Very nice. I like that thought. And all she could have to eat for breakfast is a tortilla, an orange, and a glass of water. For lunch would be another tortilla, an apple, and another glass of water. In my OA (order of the arrow) campout for scouts, that is what we had to go on before doing hard labor in 90+ degree heat.

[DikkyRay]

Oh god forbid, a rich white girl gets out of jail. Lets say the american Justice system is screwed up. Lets not talk about how they put murderers, rapists, sex offenders, terrorists, thiefs, etc in jail.

[Kent]

On 2007-06-07 17:01, AlexCraig wrote:
Very nice. I like that thought. And all she could have to eat for breakfast is a tortilla, an orange, and a glass of water. For lunch would be another tortilla, an apple, and another glass of water. In my OA (order of the arrow) campout for scouts, that is what we had to go on before doing hard labor in 90+ degree heat.



She's enough of a twig as she is - I say make her eat deep-fried lard.

That'll show her.

[Banish]

Said it had to do w/medical stuff.

I think this whole thing is completely false and stupid.

[DikkyRay]

On 2007-06-07 17:30, Fujita wrote:
Said it had to do w/medical stuff.

I think this whole thing is completely false and stupid.


Like i said before-Shes a skinny white girl.
She'd be ripped apart in prison. Despite how unfair she seems, the judge probably saved her life

[AlexCraig]

Solitary would be ample punishment. A few weeks with nobody but herself.

[EphekZ]

I don't see the big deal. woopdedoo it's the fucking media. How about you worry about something that actually matters than some "pop-star" whom doesn't, or shouldn't rather, affect your life in anyway.

[AlexCraig]

Because these are things that perk our interest and we feel like talking about them.

[Solstis]

On 2007-06-07 16:20, Night_Raid wrote:
You all seem to be missing the fact I'm trying to make a valid point. No, I didn't make this topic just for shits and giggles. I made it to take a chunk out of the American justice systems corrupt ass.

This rivals O.J. level bullshit on the bullshit-ometer. Can I get out of prison if I say "I have a rash"? HELL NO! By that logic every felon this side of the states could go out and bang a herpes infested prostitute the day before the police come to pick them up and get off on sickness.



Why don't you write your local Congressperson?

Just wait for that form letter. http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_smile.gif

[DurakkenX]

you know... i bet there was more to this then "she has a rash." She was causing problems for the jail and the other prisoners...quite frankly house arrest is about the only thing you can do to celebs in america due to media causing too much commotion and ravenous fans creating problems for the prison.

Not only do the fans and media cause problems outside, but because they interfere with the rights of the other inmates and certain things such as missing a family visit that could turn in to a very violent place for a celeb and while you may say "good, bring them down a peg or two" that becomes a point of, is it really all right to place someone in such a situation as to cause undue harm and the answer is no...

[AlexCraig]

I don't think celebs, regardless of their income or status, should have less punishment than the rest of us. DUI=DUI. Same discipline applies.

[xeku]

I think most here are aware that the justice/legal system has serious issues.

But Paris? Small time, non-news in my opinion..

Look at this from the perspective of the prison administration, or the prosecution (yeah he's complaining in public, but he isn't going to lose sleep over this BS)..

And why in hell would you want to mix Paris in with the general prison population?

What would this really accomplish?

Say she gets assaulted by inmates, or sleeps with a watchman, or actually does get that staph infection and gets scarred for life (this is currently a very real problem for regular inmates and prison workers, let alone celebrities...it ain't just a flippin' rash).
You have a disaster on your hands, of epic proportions - think of the media, legal and political fallout that would occur as a result.

You want to clean this shit up?

Not too mention the risk of your own staff selling her "story" to the press.....look at the average American nutbar tabloid monkey....all of these sick bastards want to know just how many times Paris took a piss on the 12th of June, and what color it was...and how it smelled, and they will pay good money to find out. And THEY is US....we have all been guilty of this at one time or another.

Yeah, yeah, the prison staff were all instructed not to utter a word to the outside world....hah, hahahaha....everyone knows how well this shit works out.

But hey - justice was served!
Paris did hard time and learned her lesson...and the average-Joe will feel vindicated that a rich-white-bitch was treated just like every other mofo on the planet...right?

You believe this?

In fact I have to wonder what the prosecutor was thinking on this point....community service would have been much more effective.....she would have had no way out, no excuse. Ahh, you sick?
Well, just come back tomorrow when your a feelin' proper..
Some 5 o'clock footage of her cleaning toilets at the YMCA? Yeah, another media circus, but one you could control...and PR gold..
But maybe it wasn't an option...I dunno.

Corruption?, maybe.....but I smell pragmatism...you gotta wade through bureaucratic BS first.

Blame the legal system?
I say blame the public first...our collective ignorance and inability to let anything tivial remain small, lest we suffer from boredom and flip the switch...
Until the public decides serious issues are worth serious consideration, corruption is the least of our problems...

Case in point? We want the troops to come home.
We want time tables...
We elected Democrats cause they said they would get the ball moving...and it was time for a change!
Change...yes, change is good!
But we never stopped to ask HOW in hell they are going to pull this off?
What kind of change?
What kind of plan?
How would this work?
How can we meet any given time table?
Still, no answers........and nobody has started to ask these questions (neither side).
I'm not innocent...I didn't stop to think either..
Did you?

And OJ? - he had better lawyers! That's reality..
As much as I detest the lying, murdering bastard, I have to admit, he had the better people.. Oh yes, money will buy you justice..it's the American way...so what was the prosecution's excuse? It was no secret that he would be bringing in the big guns...
The real reason he got off is because the Police investigators sucked (sloppily), then prosecution sucked some more....and they sucked hard and they sucked long, and might as well have just sucked-off the damned defense team and be done with it...
It's that glove...remember that glove? - it all became clear with that liile bit of street-corner theatre.....why on earth did they ask him to try that on? WTF were they thinking? Of course it wouldn't fit!

I was just some chump in general-Ed JC at the time, but even I knew this was the beginning of the end...

Scooter Libby? - now that's another story...he is the poster boy for the real problems this country faces.

There are bigger fish to fry.
Don't settle for a night in Paris...

[Sinue_v2]

She was causing problems for the jail and the other prisoners...

Step inside a prison for a few minuites. Nothing she could have done would have "infringed" on the rights of other prisoners more than what they do to themselves. If it was a move for the convienence of the prison staff (not being demonized in the media) then is shows a clear failure on the part of both the media and our prison system.

Remember, this is also fresh off the heels of a REDUCED sentince - as well as clear contempt of court by showing up for her hearing unnecessarily late. Anyone else would have recieved a fucking bench warrant and been picked up by the poilice, weither it was "convienent" for them or not.


but because they interfere with the rights of the other inmates and certain things such as missing a family visit that could turn in to a very violent place

Oh Noes! Violence in our prisons! We can't have this unprecidented turn of events unfold!


is it really all right to place someone in such a situation as to cause undue harm and the answer is no...

That's prison for you. EVERYONE IN THERE is subjected to that same risk of harm. If you're a celebrity, you'll likely be a target - but if you're a nobody, you're going to get pegged as a potential bitch and still be a target. Expecially if you're convicted of violence or sexual assault against women and children. The only difference is, celebrity mistreatment would get reported in the media. Joe Blow criminal can get shanked 42 times and raped in the mouth, anus, and eyesockets - and nobody outside of the prison would give a shit, let alone report it.

There's a lot of people in the prison system that are placed in "undue harm", expecially non-violent drug offenders. Morally, why is it ok to put them in undue harm's way, but not her?

It's bullshit, no matter which way you cut it.

I still say I want to see that bitch busting her ass at the side of the road on a chain gang.

As for "bigger fish to fry", I fucking gave up hope of that happening when Bush practically gutted Habeus Corpus and nobody here batted an eyebrow. If people want to bitch about Paris, or about OJ, or about Stevie fucking Wonder - who cares. It's all just talk anyhow. What action is anyone here realistically going to be able to take anyhow, and further - even IF someone were to be able to affect a real unfolding story, then PSOworld is hardly the forum to taking up the cross of that crusade.

It's an internet video game forum.

Seriously, I thought we had that whole discussion settled when we had that thread about some poor mutilated puppy and some members claiming it was bullshit that we posted about it when thousands of children were being murdered or starved to death all over the globe. Reference that thread.

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Sinue_v2 on 2007-06-07 19:07 ]</font>

[amtalx]

WTF?!?! Thanks America.

[Midicronica]

I didn't bother reading half the posts in this topic because they were far too long, but I ran across an article stating that Paris Hilton was going back to prison.

[HUnewearl_Meira]

All right, first of all, Paris Hilton was in prison for a traffic violation. That she went to prison at all is rather extreme, given that the specific crime she committed was driving on a suspended license. I submit that the only reason she was sent to prison, was because any fine they could have been justified in charging her with, would have been trivial to her, and barely a slap on the wrist.

That she was released early from prison should also not be any particular surprise. I question whether or not her early release was due to her being influential (we all know that she's not famous because people respect her). More likely the motivation behind her release was in the best interests of her health, in keeping that a celebrity of her dubious status is quite likely to receive beatings and maybe even be killed by the rowdy bunch that typically ends up in prison. Taking her out of that environment is less about her being a celebrity, and more about preventing further crimes from occurring.

40 days house arrest will have to do. I have no respect for the woman, but a lack of favor need not equate disdain. She got in trouble now, and being the irresponsible wreck she is, she'll get in trouble, again. Maybe it's all carefully planned to keep her in the news, or maybe she really is just a bungling idiot. I've never met her, I do not plan to meet her, and the only film she's starred in is bad porn that I'm not interested in (which as well seems to be responsible for her fame), so I'm not clear that she's worthy of our continued attention. Leave her be. Her legal battles are her own affair.

[FOAtHeart]

I always think it is really cool when there is a thread, and people are just generally kind of dumb and not thinking, and Meira (or somebody) comes along and obliterates everything.

Also:

People who claim not to care about celebrities always seem to have really strong opinions about them.

[Sinue_v2]

IIRC, she had the suspended licence for a DUI - which in itself is a bit of a slap on the wrist. Here in Indiana, they can sentince you for up to a year in jail as well as hefty fines. You generally have to spend at least thirty days of your sentince and spend the rest on probation. Violation of probation (driving with a suspended licence) sees that you WILL serve the rest of your sentince in jail + additional time.

To my understanding, Hilton was caught in violation of probation on more than one ocassion - and has shown contempt of court by not appearing at her trials on time. (As said - an offence that would get anyone else a bench warrant for their arrest).


As said - the courts were actually LIENIENT on her, though you would know California law better.

As for her stay in prison, they could just as easily kept her in solitary confinement for protection. There's really no way for anyone aside from guards to have access to her - and all of her medical care can be met by the prison staff. Just like with everyone else. On her "House Arrest" (which they do make a very clear distinction between) she was allowed as many visitors as she wished, no real guard (aside from those posted outside to make sure she didn't leave), and had her every posh wish brought to her on a golden fucking caravan - delievering "cupcakes and fruit baskets" as a welcome home.

And personally, if she is in an elevated state of danger because of her celebrety status - then I feel that should be all the more incentive for celebritys to set a good example for the rest of society and do their best to stay the fuck out of jail to avoid such dangers. Seriously, what kind of a message does this send out to the youth of America?


People who claim not to care about celebrities always seem to have really strong opinions about them.

Or those whom have close friends and/or reletives in some stage of the legal system get completely fucked over by dickhead judges and prosecuting attourneys who are just trying to make an name for themselves before re-election by being hardasses and making "examples" out of them.

Seeing miscarrages of justice like this - reguardless of the celebrity status of the offender - is cause to be pissed off.

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Sinue_v2 on 2007-06-08 03:36 ]</font>

[Powder Keg]

Wish I could say I was surprised.

[DurakkenX]

ummm sollitary confinement would be undue punishment...

I see your point Sinue, it's just allowing something to happen when you can prevent it is wrong. If you allow someone to die because you don't want to go to jail for making a mistake in the rescue is the same as murdering them.

A solution would possibly be creating a separate jail for celebrities, but that would cause problems of it almost never being used...or we could perhaps stop caring about celebrities or picking our celebs better...like say scientists and such, not sports stars and movie stars.

[xeku]

That really was my point Sinue_v2 - the bigger fish to fry comment is in line with your comments....people make a huge deal out of non-important issues, and ignore the real problems.

I have not forgotten the puppy thread (and decided to sit that one out)..it was a sad read (and not because of the puppies).

If the TC has a real problem with the system, focusing on Paris is not effective (but she is an easy target). And like someone else said - if he/she really cares, they ought to write their local rep.

I've no sympathy for Paris...but I realize it's all about others within the system covering their asses, and protecting the interests of the system in general. They authorities could care less about Paris the person..
However, Paris the public personality is another matter, and reality dictates that you can't treat her like a "normal" person - this is a problem, but it is something society has had to deal with since the dawn of civilization.

Oh, and the CA law may be even more strict at this time, than Indiana - it was about 12-13 years ago that I had last read up on it in any detail (I had a buddy that had to do time for DUI without a license).
His term was also reduced - from a year+ in state prison (from what I recall) to a minimum security "camp" for either 6-8 months...I think he may have gotten out even earlier.
He already had prior convictions (and was involved in an accident).....and no money or political contacts to speak of.
This happens all the time in the CA prison system, and the convict rarely has any say or sway whatsoever... some seem to get lucky, for no apparent (or stated) reason.
Probably has a lot to do with overcrowding, in all areas (even "celebrity" facilities).
Our Governator is making a lot of noise about this right now...

[Thalui89]

All i can say is LAWLZ. oh noes she is doomed to 40 days stuck in her MANSION. some punishment there huh?

[Axispoint]

http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/TV/06/08/paris.hilton.ap/index.html

She's going back.

[xeku]

^Lol...I just read that....
I know, sentence her to a week in a 24hr. Walmart - That'll teach her....she should be able to survive off of chips and dry ramen....maybe she could figure out how to use the toaster ovens from the appliance aisle.

[Powder Keg]

http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i194/arabian_disco/0608_paris_car_cry_inf3.jpg

[Thalui89]

Picture speaks for itself

[Night_Raid]

Damnit Axis. I was going to post that.
But yeah. Aparently she's getting no slack in the matter and is going back WITH the full sentece of 45 days as opposed to her three days in prison that somehow counted for five (Which btw was COMPLETE bullshit)

Pfft. Meira the only one thinking? Are you crocked? Yes, a traffic violation. Of which you're making sound small. The whole reason her license was suspended was because of a DU- fucking- I. Oh which should've landed her a MUCH worse punishment that a suspended license and probation. I'm no legal buff, but to my understanding driving under the influence was a MAJOR offense that usually winds up with your boozing ass locked up for QUITE a while.

So really, FOatheart, I believe it's you who is lacking in thought process.

"Yes, I'm sure she'll be thinking of all the horrible things she's done while she's sitting alone in her totally posh mansion"
-Evil Mage Ra, of The Kingdom Key

(Unrelated side note: Shadow_Moses, in order to have a valid opinion in any matter I'd suggest that you take the time out of your oh so busy day and read what's been said)

And I also have to jump on the whole violence issue.
You act as if it's something new being introduced into the whole prison package. Sure, Joey the snitch could get shanked and nobody would give a damn. But when somebody touches a hair on precious Paris' whorish body it's a whole fucking production. Look, prisons are inherently violent places, despite the presence of celebrities (of which THIS one shouldn't be in the first place...) or not. Besides that, IT'S A PRISON. You seem to not realize the simple fact that it's crawling with guards. They're getting paid for a reason, however, I'm not saying that they'd be there all the time, so really....It's more like an equal opportunity ass kicking (In comparison to non-famous inmates)

Yes...Sure, I'll just get on that letter.
Dear congress,
Why do you suck so much balls? I mean wtf m8? First you've got O.J....I'm mean c'mon, I'M black and I think he did it! Now this shit? What one of you n00bs dropped the ball on this one?

*Just noticed third page*
*Nearly shits himself laughing*
Props on the paint job.

[VIRIDIA_HUNTER]

hmph everyone knows paris hilton is a waste of oxygen on this earth. WAT KINDA DUMBASS WOULD GO SOFT ON HER!??!?!!??

[Dhylec]

Well, I think the judge has ordered her to get her sorry butt back in jail today. Maybe there is still hope in our justice system. ;]

[EphekZ]

it's the not the justice system in whole. I was kinda listening to the news today, and they said the judge ordered 40-whatever days with no exceptions but the sheriff of the actual prison was the one who put her on house arrest...then I stopped listening. but you get the point.

[Night_Raid]

From my understanding that seems to be the case. As for what you said about the justice system as a WHOLE, this issue says a lot more about corruption of people in power. For a sheriff to make such a drastic, unilateral decision is proof that there are some serious holes in the justice system. What worries me is that the sheriff was even able to pull this kinda shit in the first place; the fact it wasn't noticed and corrected immediately is sort of a problem for me, he was able to TOTALLY change someones punishment, knock off two days of her sentence, and the kicker, actually let her walk out of that prison, thinking what he did was right. The fact someone in the legal system has such a skewed idea of justice is what worries me so much.





<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Night_Raid on 2007-06-08 21:18 ]</font>

[Weeaboolits]

People are stupid. ;]

[Nixia]

She's back in jail, now.

Guess there is a little justice in the world. http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wacko.gif

http://www.boston.com/ae/tv/articles/2007/06/09/hilton_sent_back_to_jail_in_hysterics/

[Solstis]

Apparently, people are treating this whole Paris Hilton thing is if it was symbolic.

Her getting out of jail is symbolic of corruption. Her going back to jail is a symbol of justice.

Meanwhile, US media is restricted from showing pictures of coffins (unless that was changed recently), because of the symbolism.

Huh. Imagologues!

[Weeaboolits]

On 2007-06-08 23:26, Solstis wrote:
Meanwhile, US media is restricted from showing pictures of coffins (unless that was changed recently), because of the symbolism.Really? I didn't know that. :/

[darthsaber9x9]

Apparently the sheriff had received substantial contributions from the hilton family in the past. What a shock.

[Rainbowlemon]

In case anyone's interested, she's back in the slammer, apparently for the whole extra 40 days. Seems like there were..."deals"...that shouldn't have been going on. She went 'wah wah wah' all the way back to her cell, spoilt brat.

[Morpheo]

She says its "not fair" that shes back in jail, perhaps she thinks a slutish rich bitch like herself doesnt have to face consequences, if you ask me, i think her driving drunk is worse than anyone in the whole world driving drunk

[Dre_o]

On 2007-06-09 08:31, Morpheo wrote:
She says its "not fair" that shes back in jail, perhaps she thinks a slutish rich bitch like herself doesnt have to face consequences, if you ask me, i think her driving drunk is worse than anyone in the whole world driving drunk



No matter who it is, they still endangered lives. No matter who it is, they get the punishment for it. Plain and (should be) simple.

[Night_Raid]

the hotel heiress was led from the courtroom crying out for her mother and shouting, "It's not right!"

Not right? How is it that people with their heads so far up their ass still even exist? How is it that one is so ignorant that they can't come to terms with how serious a crime they've commited? She act's like she's Nelson-bloody-Mendella. Just this little quote proves that she must honestly believe that she's better than every other human on the earth.

[DonRoyale]

You people act like she's the axis upon which this earth spins.

But if you want my opinion, she deserves the jail time. She just doesn't deserve the attention.

*waits for MuchMoreMusic to make a NoseDive out of this*

[Night_Raid]

The reason this is such an active issue isn't because we think "she's the axis upon which this earth spins" It's because the terms on which she got such a lenient punishment were total bullcrap- that and it's a clear show of corruption. It's not just because it's this woman in particular (Although that does play a role in it....As 95.94% of Americans hate her).





<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Night_Raid on 2007-06-09 09:35 ]</font>

[Skuda]

On 2007-06-09 05:07, darthsaber9x9 wrote:
Apparently the sheriff had received substantial contributions bribes from the hilton family in the past. What a shock.

[VIRIDIA_HUNTER]

On 2007-06-09 09:34, Night_Raid wrote:
The reason this is such an active issue isn't because we normal ppl think "she's the axis upon which this earth spins" It's because the terms on which she got such a lenient punishment were total bullcrap- that and it's a clear show of corruption. It's not just because it's this woman in particular (Although that does play a role in it....As 95.94% 99.99% of Americans our fellow forum buds hate her).





<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Night_Raid on 2007-06-09 09:35 ]</font>

[Rubedo]

She need to go back to jail and become sum 1 bitch then she would learn that she cant get away with everything. Her walkin through prison is like Fresh fish hitting the market.

[Solstis]

On 2007-06-09 09:30, DonRoyale wrote:
You people act like she's the axis upon which this earth spins.


I agree, and yet I revisited this thread. I'm pathetic. http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_lol.gif

[DurakkenX]

haven't any of you seen, "the simple life" They stole things and felt it was perfectly alright to do so in some episodes... but i do have one question... why was she driving in the first place? Doesn't she have a cheuffer for that?

[DonRoyale]

On 2007-06-09 18:45, Solstis wrote:

On 2007-06-09 09:30, DonRoyale wrote:
You people act like she's the axis upon which this earth spins.


I agree, and yet I revisited this thread. I'm pathetic. http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_lol.gif



You're not pathetic if you like seeing the creative insults to people that our creative forumgoers are making.

Just substitute for x when nescessary.

[Banish]

Paris Hilton is a hubris betch.

[Ithildin]

Paris Hilton was "prematurely discharged"... is that what happened to her or what happened to her recent b/f?????

[VIRIDIA_HUNTER]

On 2007-06-09 16:32, Rubedo wrote:
She need to go back to jail and become sum 1 bitch

um isnt she alredy a bitch???

[Sinue_v2]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v203/Sinue/shawskank.jpg


With just two days left on her sentince, Paris crawled to freedom through five hundred yards of shit-smelling foulness I can't even imagine. Or maybe I just don't want to. Five hundred yards. That's the length of five football fields. Just shy of half a mile.

...

Paris Hilton, who crawled through a river of shit and came out clean on the other side. Paris Hilton, headed for the Rave Clubs. Paris Hilton, my friend.

[DonRoyale]

...I lol'ed.