Old Women

[Jehosaphaty]

During my summers I work for the street department of my city. Usually I do concrete repair work on curbs and catchbasins (which involves tearing our previously existing concrete, forming, and then pouring new), but sometimes I do a bunch of random other stuff that needs done. Today I worked for a couple hours as a flagger.

Flaggers are those people you see holding stop/slow signs in construction areas directing when you can stop and go. After today I have a newfound appreciation for these poor blokes who risk their lives on busy highways and interstates.

I will just go right out and say it: women are generally awful drivers, and elderly women are the absolute worst. (I know men can't multi-task and they suffer from hot-rodding, but they at least gage speed more times then not. I understand that there are many a fine woman driver out there, I just have met very few of them.) On more than one occasion today I was almost popped by idiot old ladies on, of all things, cellphones yapping away and not paying attention to what they are doing. They come flying through the work zone with no abandon and then brake at the last possible second.

I spent the latter half of my time holding that flagstick contemplating why these little old ladies looked at me like I was trying to kill them with my slow sign as they slammed on their breaks almost pulverizing me. Jeez lady, I'm wearing a bright neon yellow shirt, you outta see me 1000 feet away.

[Niered]

Originally I was going to say "Fuck, you work in Florida?" because that would have made sense with our increasing amounts of increasingly old people.

Then I saw you were from Indiana and went "OHSHI-My homestate! Dammit!"

I suggest carrying a dart gun. If they so much as LOOK disinterested, you shoot out there tires, walk up to their drivers side window and hand them a pamphlet of real eastate locale's in Florida.

Well take it from there...mehehehehehe...

[Rainbowlemon]

Dude, this old woman being served at the till beside me in Woolworths started chatting to me about her life, and she had a moustache AND a beard. I didn't know whether to laugh or hurl.

Apologies, continue.

[Sord]

not sure if it's just in my state or not, but it's a 10k fine to hit a road worker

[McLaughlin]

Reminds me of the South Park episode where the old people keep killing everyone with their cars.

[Sinue_v2]

Both my Aunt Gale and my Grandma have backed into huge yellow poles they "didn't see" while backing out of fast food joints. My other grandma was a road warrior, always driving waaaay too fast, drifting into other lanes, and hanging out the window screaming racial slurs.

Hoosier here too, btw.

But at least it's not only confined to here. When my cuz lost his licence for a DUI, I was driving him back and forth to work in Chicago for a bit - and NOTHING made him more nervous than having an asian girl driving in our vecinity. He's genuinely scared of them on the road... I think it has something to do with this one girl who backed out of her driveway while he was going past and caved in the entire passanger side of new Lincoln.

(He still hasn't gotten it fixed.. says it adds personality. Plus it's bragging rights when people find out he just thrashes brand new luxury cars for fun. He, also, is a native born Hoosier.)

[Jehosaphaty]

Alas I must admit that I reside in Indiana only during the school-year. (Illinois is pretty much the same thing though, although there's less wind in these parts)

I have this auntie, her name's Wavedell, and she's so stooped in her old age (90), that she sits on multiple phone books to drive. She's like 4'7" and I have yet to understand how she hasn't hit, killed, demolished, or crashed into a varying number of things. And speaking of crashing into things, a backhoe operator smacked right into a car today and about killed a lady. Unbelievable how it juuust missed the passenger. Absolutely crazy day.

And Lemmy, speaking of mustaches, I had this teacher in high school who had a mustache to rival Yosemite Sam. I couldn't ask for help because it would just like hover off her face.

[Powder Keg]

Not sure if it's only in the state of Pennsylvania or not, but your headlights have to be on, you have to drive slow and fines are doubled in work zones. Problem is, there are never any cops around, because they're too busy using four vehicles to pull someone over for a questionable minor violation.

[Blitzkommando]

I saw the SUV to remember a year or two ago. It was one of those giant ones, a big black Suburban I think, with some old lady driving it. But what was important was the plate, "OLD FART", which I was able to see while she sped through the intersection like she had rockets attached to her leviathan vehicle. Had I been driving at the time I think it would'ver resulted in an accident from the resulting laughter.