Sord
Jul 12, 2007, 12:20 PM
PoP Entry 5 My Birthday
Dear piece of paper,
My birthday recently just passed by. I had an awesome party. Tons of people came, and none of them ever left. At least not physically. I invited a bunch of ravers with lies of techno, hip-hop, and drugs. Needless to say, upon the day of the party they flocked to the remote warehouse I designated as the location.
I had set up great games with them. There was one where all the eyeballs were taped to the wall. You then had to throw darts at them in an attempt to pop them. Pin the hot iron poker on the druggie was very fun to. The screaming was a give away to where you knew to pin though. Next time I'll have to gag them.
The pinata game was fun, I actually played that one a few times. Wooden bats with nails in them work so much better at breaking them open. I liked spin the gun to, even though it was everyone tied up and me spinning around shooting randomly.
We even had fireworks, the explosions of bodies were spectacular. The warehouse looks like it got a red coat of paint now. Really nice and even to. Hide and seek was fun, especially since it was in a maze. A few tried to cheat and leave, but they didn't get far before they tripped the sensor and spikes shot at them from all directions.
For gifts I received a lot of money. It's amazing how much cold cash these druggies carry on them. Pill prices must be on the rise around here or something. Eh well, if it means more money for my birthday, who am I to complain? I let what I left of the cops to deal with them.
So, that was what happened on my birthday. The party went on for hours. Normally I don't like big parties, but this would be an exception. I'll have to do it again next year. Now into the furnace with you.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
PoP Entry 4: The Really Obese
Dear piece of paper,
I hate obese people. Now I don't mean people that are mildly fat or have a little to much weight on them, I'm talking about the people that are like human hippos, and have no medical reason to be as such (ie genetics or some other malformation.) People wasting their body away like that deserve to die, they are already killing themselves! Yet it's such a pain to do!
I went to stick in a knife today, and it just sorta sunk into 'em. What, the, HELL. Such massive amounts of lard within a human body should not even exist. The fact the guy could even get out of his scooter chair is a miracle. Granted, if he hadn't been riding the damn thing I wouldn't have gotten him in here. Like hell I'm rolling a blob of gelatinous human all the way to my head quarters.
He's still in the damn thing, though I've taken out the motor and bolted it to the wall. I think I'm just going to stick him in one of the isolation chambers and let him starve to death whilst a needle feeds him the needed water to sustain himself. I figure he might last a month or so on his copious amounts of blubber if he doesn't die of sickness from wasting away in his own excrements. I have no doubt there will be huge amounts, and I intend to lock his chamber and never open it again for fear of the stench.
I am never abducting a fat person again, they can finish themselves off for all I care at this point. The sheer idiocy of letting yourself go to such an extent defies all logic of human survival. Luckily, the absence of said logic will kill them off eventually. Meanwhile, the food companies continue to shove overly fattening foods in front of people who are oh so eager to eat a calorie binge beyond that fit for a king.
I haven't killed anyone with a big dollar signs on them in awhile. Perhaps I should get a CEO of one of the major food chains to play with. Yes, I think that's exactly what I'll do. I'll put soda in his blood through an IV whilst leaving him strapped down in a tub filled with his resteraunt's own meat, leaving him to rot along with it. Perhaps I'll stick him in with the fat guy, so he can see the fruits of his labors and die with it. Yes, that sounds like a great idea. Well, I'm off. Into the furnace with you.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Philosophy of a Decrepit City
I'm walking around the city like I normally do at night. I like to watch this decrepit hollow, it reminds me so much of humanities dark side. The smell of smog in the air, the stink of the sewers, the trash littering the street and flitting in the winds. It reminds me how much humanity neglects their surroundings. We're like insects now, branching out and building, warping the land scape. Our only difference is we destroy our surroundings and overuse our resources beyond what bugs achieve.
At the same time we are destroying our surroundings for our own gain, we destroy one another as well. I need only look around to see evidence. Graffiti from gangs and their turf wars, the smashed windows of robbery, even a few bullet scars mar the surface of the concrete buildings around me.
I can hear the dull hum of the neon lights. Their gaudy, cheesy messages lighting up the streets with their promises of joy and happiness. Yet more happiness is probably found by people with the sleazy women that stand underneath these lights, advertising their wares.
Humans live by such a double standard, it's pathetic. They claim to be good people, that they are just doing it to survive. What a crock of bullshit. They've given in to life, they're dead inside, or perhaps just to damn lazy or dumb. I admit my sins though, I declare them openly in my mind, and I enjoy them. I say happiness doesn't really come with good deeds, but comes with accepting who you are, and going with it.
If a man was born to do evil, he should be happy doing it. If a man was born to be good, then he will be happy doing that. Though I have serious doubts towards the existence of the latter. They're probably somewhere, but they are few and far between. Their actions are not enough to redeem humanity.
Religions in general don't seem to fare much better at keeping peace. Hell, they've started wars and caused plenty of suffering in the name of their Gods. Sure, some do a good job at being peaceful, but on a global scale they seem to cause much more trouble. I suppose this is due to two reasons. One, the religions that are peaceful are oppressed by people that aren't peaceful. Two, a religion is only as good as it's followers, and humans tend to be terrible at such.
Unless provoked by some reward, we rarely act on anything. Even doing a good deed just to do it is often rewarded with a happy feeling. It could be said that deep inside, the person was just wanting to feel happy, and committed an act of kindness just to obtain his joy. In essence that would make man greedy and selfish even while being kind.
My mind wonders and sifts through these thoughts, distracting me from my surroundings. Eventually I begin to realize I'm leaving the city. Soon I'm out of it's boundaries, and the air is cooler and feels crisp. It's a little bit of life in the atmosphere humanity hasn't spoiled yet. The slight cold chill fills my lungs and leaves me feeling cool. I've always taken a liking to this cold air. Pity it will be ruined as the city expands, but it can't be helped.
People will go on with their ways no matter what we say. It's pointless to argue with so many different voices. Better to forget them and live for yourself. Fulfill your own needs and desires. Even if it's at their expense, in the long run humanity would just use you at your expense anyways. I'd rather return the favor and live happily having my "fun."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
PoP Entry 3
Dear peice of paper,
I had a weird experiance today. I was just walking down the street when a shiver shot down my spine. For a moment my body tensed and locked up, I could feel my heart rate speed up and my hands go cold. A strange feeling came over me, a feeling of emptyness, as if I had died. I slowly eased out of the feeling, and began walking. The empty feeling faded away with some movement. Afterwards, I felt a sort of disapointment.
It felt like the disapointment I get when someone dies on me early. I hate it when older people suddenly have a heart attack or something in the middle of my fun. It's such a kill joy. All these unhealthy people don't help either, with the high blood pressure and all. Heart attacks suck horably, they steal my fun. Deaths should be gruesom and gory, not quick and clean.
In better news, I've finally found a name for that wretched side. Ceteria. It's of Latin origin, and means "The Other Ones." It seems perfectly fitting that she recieve such a name. I wonder if the old adage "Names have power," will occur because of this.
Until now I've more or less rejected her and stuck her in the back of my mind. Calling her this name though, it will force me to acknowledge her existance. Though by identifying her as her own being am I cutting her off from me as well? What could be the consequences of that?
I wonder if I could wind up with two personalities. I'm dominant though, always have been, so it shouldn't be a problem. Though her having her own existance could pose a threat, she may become powerful with it. I can't tell. Yet I also want to know. I supposed it's settled then. From now on, she will be called Ceteria.
Now into the furnace with you.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
POP Entry 2: She's Interfering
Dear peice of paper,
DAMN IT! That bitch inside me is interfering again. It's some form of affection, but at least it's not strong enough to tell which. It could be brotherly, fatherly, or that other one, romantic love. I pray to whatever dark gods are out there that that is not the case. It could really throw a wrench in things.
All the humans walking about, all caught up in their affection for one another. We're a primal species, love will never last. They're fools for thinking such, of course, that means I'm probably doing the damn fools a favor. When someone that loves them dies, they're left with the thought that the person would have continued loving them forever if they had lived.
I suppose I'll have to start killing in pairs. I'll capture a person and their lover, then let them see each other. Afterwards I'll seperate them and video tape them as I have my fun. I'll offer them life and freedom at the expense of their loved ones. Once they both finally make the choice to forsake the other, I'll put them together again, and show them each the futility of their love I caught on tape. That should crush their hearts before I finish them off.
But god damnit, what am I to do about this girl. She's fun to be with, she goes around brutally hurting people as well. She warps through personalities, but most of them seem to be violent. It reminds me of me, except I make sure to try and keep her, those weak emotions, locked in some other part of my mind. If only there was a way to remove them.
Though I suppose perhaps some are needed. That vague sense of loyal companionship around that hermaphrodite, of all the kinds of people, the closest thing I have to a friend in this landfill of life is a hermaphrodite cat person. Ironically this girl feeds off his arm. I don't really know why she does it, I don't think she's a vampire. It's fun to watch, even though it hurts him. I feel bad about it, but like hell I'm going to act on that emotion. But then I also find myself scratching that girl behind her ears, why does one of her personalities have to be cat like?! They're both cat like people, Why do I like cats!?
Argh, I feel like I'm losing control. She is so going to get it in my dreams. I'm going to make sure I push her off the cliff lightly, so she hits the cliff face several times as she falls. Maybe I can make the cliff face more jagged if I think about it when I go to sleep. I'm always happy when she's gone, if only I could kill HER!
Damn I'm pissed, I hate to kill people out of anger, it's not fun, but that seems like the only thing to do right now. I'll write some more later, now into the furnace with you paper.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
PoP Entry 1: Where's the Left Foot?
Hello peice of paper,
It appears the left foot went missing again. I don't know how I always lose them, it's like socks in a drier. You put two in and one come out. I mean, I can find all the fingers scattered around, but I can't find the damn foot. It's bigger then all those fingers, where the hell could it be?!
Well, at least this girl's head makes a nice inkwell. I think I'll start doing this with the heads from now on. The fact I'm using a quill for this gives the writing a sense of elegance among the blood spatters. It's a pity such a fine art has died out nowadays. Just like all the old Medieval and Roman torture methods.
At least I can write with it, though it's not like anyone will read this, I always burn these. Can't leave evidence behind. Wish people could be as quiet and easy to dispose of as paper when I wanted them to. Or keep their dogs quiet. But nooo, the lady just had to go and let the damn mutt out at 5:30 in the freaking morning. Well, at least she served the purpose of ink for this. Now while she's looking at me from heven or hell she'll know she served some purpose in her meaningless life. Well, other then those two kids, but they'll have to deal without her now.
Granted, it gave me an excuse to start my day off well. Nothing like the fresh flow of crimson in the morning. Some people like the smell of coffee, but not me, I'm a blood person through and through! I think I'm going to go get some donuts this morning. For some reason I never feal like killing the donut shop owner, guess I must really like donuts. Well, I'm off to breakfeast then, into the furnace with you!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Inside my Dreams
I'm standing on the cliff again, staring out into the sun. As usual it's setting on the horizon, giving off a beautiful light red hue that crosses the sky. It's a lighter color then blood, but so much more intense, fading to orange as it reaches across the sky to me.
She's sitting there, on the edge, the closest thing to the personification of my other self. Her scarlet red hair hanging down, wrapping around her side to fall in her lap. She has on the usual black dress, all billowy and frilly like a gothic lolita. To busy and patterned for my tastes.
Walking up to her I sigh, parts of my self being so foreign I can't help but do so. I sit beside her and we stare at the sun for awhile. It never moves in this world, and it never blinds me. I don't really understand what goes on in my head at times.
Finally she turns and looks at me, her face containing all the innocences of a child. She asks me her question in her light little voice, all fluttery and high like the tinkling of bells. And the innocence, always sounding so damn innocent.
“Why do you like to kill?”
“Because it's fun, why else.”
“Surely there is a reason why it's fun?”
“I don't know exactly. I just don't like people.”
“What, so you're just going to destroy what you don't like?”
“Yeah, it makes sense to me. If you don't like something, get rid of it. Besides, it's human nature, we're all so wretched. Pathetic meat bags walking the Earth. We're most likely going to kill ourselves anyways, probably drag the whole planet with us.”
“So shouldn't you be trying to prevent that? You're only moving it closer! And you enjoy it to much, you're not even using it as a distraction from the horrors of the world.”
“Of course it's not a distraction, I'm a horror in my own right. Unlike you, I accepted a long time ago that humanity isn't worth much. Our lives are short and fleeting, punctured with instances of happiness that make the rest of the days bearable. Yet without that sadness, happiness can't even exist. So ironically my actions give humanity even more reason to treasure their happiness.”
“You're just twisting your actions to appear as the hero.”
“No, not the hero part anyways, but it does look like it doesn't it? I'm no hero, but I enjoy the irony of twisted half-truths. The fact that it's half right in the first place, that humans take their happiness for granted. It's funny.”
“How is that funny!?”
“Because I kill them, like the animals they are. They aren't happy, and they can't be happy, so I just kill them. I'm doing them a favor.”
“What you're doing is twisting reality. That statement isn't even linked to your last statement either.”
“Who says the statement has to be?”
“I do!”
“You mean me?”
“Yes!”
“Why should I bother listening to that form of reason, your reason just brings about useless crap.”
“Feelings of sad or worriesom emotions, of pain, of moral judgment and justification, even small moments of weakness are import-”
“Fun is it's own justification.”
“No it's not! Why won't you listen to me!? I'm you, why can't I ever get it through. Just accept it, you have the potential for what I am.”
“Yes, I know I can have what you are, but I don't want you.”
Once again I find myself standing behind her. She's crying, fearful, sobbing, choking on her grief. I raise my foot and kick her off the edge. I don't just shove her, I actually kick her full force, causing her to buckle and tumble as she falls. I watch her fall, screaming. It's funny, people always have falling dreams, but none like this I think. Though I usually wake up when she hits, sometimes I don't.
I can't help but smile. I'm hatred, I'm spiteful, I'm darkness, I'm cruelty, I'm fearless, I'm strength, I'm wit, I'm smart, I'm unsympathetic, I'm a murderer, I'm a cheat, I'm a liar, but above all, I'm happy. I guess that makes me insane, but at least I'm sane enough to know it. It's satisfying to know that, just like it is to hear the sound of her hitting the ground as I wake up.
I think today is going to be a great day. Even if I have this dream again, and she comes through me every now and then, I always seem to win in the end. I'm not worried, I have a fresh batch of victims, I'm evil, I'm happy.
<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Sord on 2007-07-18 20:34 ]</font>
<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Sord on 2007-07-27 19:07 ]</font>
Dear piece of paper,
My birthday recently just passed by. I had an awesome party. Tons of people came, and none of them ever left. At least not physically. I invited a bunch of ravers with lies of techno, hip-hop, and drugs. Needless to say, upon the day of the party they flocked to the remote warehouse I designated as the location.
I had set up great games with them. There was one where all the eyeballs were taped to the wall. You then had to throw darts at them in an attempt to pop them. Pin the hot iron poker on the druggie was very fun to. The screaming was a give away to where you knew to pin though. Next time I'll have to gag them.
The pinata game was fun, I actually played that one a few times. Wooden bats with nails in them work so much better at breaking them open. I liked spin the gun to, even though it was everyone tied up and me spinning around shooting randomly.
We even had fireworks, the explosions of bodies were spectacular. The warehouse looks like it got a red coat of paint now. Really nice and even to. Hide and seek was fun, especially since it was in a maze. A few tried to cheat and leave, but they didn't get far before they tripped the sensor and spikes shot at them from all directions.
For gifts I received a lot of money. It's amazing how much cold cash these druggies carry on them. Pill prices must be on the rise around here or something. Eh well, if it means more money for my birthday, who am I to complain? I let what I left of the cops to deal with them.
So, that was what happened on my birthday. The party went on for hours. Normally I don't like big parties, but this would be an exception. I'll have to do it again next year. Now into the furnace with you.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
PoP Entry 4: The Really Obese
Dear piece of paper,
I hate obese people. Now I don't mean people that are mildly fat or have a little to much weight on them, I'm talking about the people that are like human hippos, and have no medical reason to be as such (ie genetics or some other malformation.) People wasting their body away like that deserve to die, they are already killing themselves! Yet it's such a pain to do!
I went to stick in a knife today, and it just sorta sunk into 'em. What, the, HELL. Such massive amounts of lard within a human body should not even exist. The fact the guy could even get out of his scooter chair is a miracle. Granted, if he hadn't been riding the damn thing I wouldn't have gotten him in here. Like hell I'm rolling a blob of gelatinous human all the way to my head quarters.
He's still in the damn thing, though I've taken out the motor and bolted it to the wall. I think I'm just going to stick him in one of the isolation chambers and let him starve to death whilst a needle feeds him the needed water to sustain himself. I figure he might last a month or so on his copious amounts of blubber if he doesn't die of sickness from wasting away in his own excrements. I have no doubt there will be huge amounts, and I intend to lock his chamber and never open it again for fear of the stench.
I am never abducting a fat person again, they can finish themselves off for all I care at this point. The sheer idiocy of letting yourself go to such an extent defies all logic of human survival. Luckily, the absence of said logic will kill them off eventually. Meanwhile, the food companies continue to shove overly fattening foods in front of people who are oh so eager to eat a calorie binge beyond that fit for a king.
I haven't killed anyone with a big dollar signs on them in awhile. Perhaps I should get a CEO of one of the major food chains to play with. Yes, I think that's exactly what I'll do. I'll put soda in his blood through an IV whilst leaving him strapped down in a tub filled with his resteraunt's own meat, leaving him to rot along with it. Perhaps I'll stick him in with the fat guy, so he can see the fruits of his labors and die with it. Yes, that sounds like a great idea. Well, I'm off. Into the furnace with you.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Philosophy of a Decrepit City
I'm walking around the city like I normally do at night. I like to watch this decrepit hollow, it reminds me so much of humanities dark side. The smell of smog in the air, the stink of the sewers, the trash littering the street and flitting in the winds. It reminds me how much humanity neglects their surroundings. We're like insects now, branching out and building, warping the land scape. Our only difference is we destroy our surroundings and overuse our resources beyond what bugs achieve.
At the same time we are destroying our surroundings for our own gain, we destroy one another as well. I need only look around to see evidence. Graffiti from gangs and their turf wars, the smashed windows of robbery, even a few bullet scars mar the surface of the concrete buildings around me.
I can hear the dull hum of the neon lights. Their gaudy, cheesy messages lighting up the streets with their promises of joy and happiness. Yet more happiness is probably found by people with the sleazy women that stand underneath these lights, advertising their wares.
Humans live by such a double standard, it's pathetic. They claim to be good people, that they are just doing it to survive. What a crock of bullshit. They've given in to life, they're dead inside, or perhaps just to damn lazy or dumb. I admit my sins though, I declare them openly in my mind, and I enjoy them. I say happiness doesn't really come with good deeds, but comes with accepting who you are, and going with it.
If a man was born to do evil, he should be happy doing it. If a man was born to be good, then he will be happy doing that. Though I have serious doubts towards the existence of the latter. They're probably somewhere, but they are few and far between. Their actions are not enough to redeem humanity.
Religions in general don't seem to fare much better at keeping peace. Hell, they've started wars and caused plenty of suffering in the name of their Gods. Sure, some do a good job at being peaceful, but on a global scale they seem to cause much more trouble. I suppose this is due to two reasons. One, the religions that are peaceful are oppressed by people that aren't peaceful. Two, a religion is only as good as it's followers, and humans tend to be terrible at such.
Unless provoked by some reward, we rarely act on anything. Even doing a good deed just to do it is often rewarded with a happy feeling. It could be said that deep inside, the person was just wanting to feel happy, and committed an act of kindness just to obtain his joy. In essence that would make man greedy and selfish even while being kind.
My mind wonders and sifts through these thoughts, distracting me from my surroundings. Eventually I begin to realize I'm leaving the city. Soon I'm out of it's boundaries, and the air is cooler and feels crisp. It's a little bit of life in the atmosphere humanity hasn't spoiled yet. The slight cold chill fills my lungs and leaves me feeling cool. I've always taken a liking to this cold air. Pity it will be ruined as the city expands, but it can't be helped.
People will go on with their ways no matter what we say. It's pointless to argue with so many different voices. Better to forget them and live for yourself. Fulfill your own needs and desires. Even if it's at their expense, in the long run humanity would just use you at your expense anyways. I'd rather return the favor and live happily having my "fun."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
PoP Entry 3
Dear peice of paper,
I had a weird experiance today. I was just walking down the street when a shiver shot down my spine. For a moment my body tensed and locked up, I could feel my heart rate speed up and my hands go cold. A strange feeling came over me, a feeling of emptyness, as if I had died. I slowly eased out of the feeling, and began walking. The empty feeling faded away with some movement. Afterwards, I felt a sort of disapointment.
It felt like the disapointment I get when someone dies on me early. I hate it when older people suddenly have a heart attack or something in the middle of my fun. It's such a kill joy. All these unhealthy people don't help either, with the high blood pressure and all. Heart attacks suck horably, they steal my fun. Deaths should be gruesom and gory, not quick and clean.
In better news, I've finally found a name for that wretched side. Ceteria. It's of Latin origin, and means "The Other Ones." It seems perfectly fitting that she recieve such a name. I wonder if the old adage "Names have power," will occur because of this.
Until now I've more or less rejected her and stuck her in the back of my mind. Calling her this name though, it will force me to acknowledge her existance. Though by identifying her as her own being am I cutting her off from me as well? What could be the consequences of that?
I wonder if I could wind up with two personalities. I'm dominant though, always have been, so it shouldn't be a problem. Though her having her own existance could pose a threat, she may become powerful with it. I can't tell. Yet I also want to know. I supposed it's settled then. From now on, she will be called Ceteria.
Now into the furnace with you.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
POP Entry 2: She's Interfering
Dear peice of paper,
DAMN IT! That bitch inside me is interfering again. It's some form of affection, but at least it's not strong enough to tell which. It could be brotherly, fatherly, or that other one, romantic love. I pray to whatever dark gods are out there that that is not the case. It could really throw a wrench in things.
All the humans walking about, all caught up in their affection for one another. We're a primal species, love will never last. They're fools for thinking such, of course, that means I'm probably doing the damn fools a favor. When someone that loves them dies, they're left with the thought that the person would have continued loving them forever if they had lived.
I suppose I'll have to start killing in pairs. I'll capture a person and their lover, then let them see each other. Afterwards I'll seperate them and video tape them as I have my fun. I'll offer them life and freedom at the expense of their loved ones. Once they both finally make the choice to forsake the other, I'll put them together again, and show them each the futility of their love I caught on tape. That should crush their hearts before I finish them off.
But god damnit, what am I to do about this girl. She's fun to be with, she goes around brutally hurting people as well. She warps through personalities, but most of them seem to be violent. It reminds me of me, except I make sure to try and keep her, those weak emotions, locked in some other part of my mind. If only there was a way to remove them.
Though I suppose perhaps some are needed. That vague sense of loyal companionship around that hermaphrodite, of all the kinds of people, the closest thing I have to a friend in this landfill of life is a hermaphrodite cat person. Ironically this girl feeds off his arm. I don't really know why she does it, I don't think she's a vampire. It's fun to watch, even though it hurts him. I feel bad about it, but like hell I'm going to act on that emotion. But then I also find myself scratching that girl behind her ears, why does one of her personalities have to be cat like?! They're both cat like people, Why do I like cats!?
Argh, I feel like I'm losing control. She is so going to get it in my dreams. I'm going to make sure I push her off the cliff lightly, so she hits the cliff face several times as she falls. Maybe I can make the cliff face more jagged if I think about it when I go to sleep. I'm always happy when she's gone, if only I could kill HER!
Damn I'm pissed, I hate to kill people out of anger, it's not fun, but that seems like the only thing to do right now. I'll write some more later, now into the furnace with you paper.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
PoP Entry 1: Where's the Left Foot?
Hello peice of paper,
It appears the left foot went missing again. I don't know how I always lose them, it's like socks in a drier. You put two in and one come out. I mean, I can find all the fingers scattered around, but I can't find the damn foot. It's bigger then all those fingers, where the hell could it be?!
Well, at least this girl's head makes a nice inkwell. I think I'll start doing this with the heads from now on. The fact I'm using a quill for this gives the writing a sense of elegance among the blood spatters. It's a pity such a fine art has died out nowadays. Just like all the old Medieval and Roman torture methods.
At least I can write with it, though it's not like anyone will read this, I always burn these. Can't leave evidence behind. Wish people could be as quiet and easy to dispose of as paper when I wanted them to. Or keep their dogs quiet. But nooo, the lady just had to go and let the damn mutt out at 5:30 in the freaking morning. Well, at least she served the purpose of ink for this. Now while she's looking at me from heven or hell she'll know she served some purpose in her meaningless life. Well, other then those two kids, but they'll have to deal without her now.
Granted, it gave me an excuse to start my day off well. Nothing like the fresh flow of crimson in the morning. Some people like the smell of coffee, but not me, I'm a blood person through and through! I think I'm going to go get some donuts this morning. For some reason I never feal like killing the donut shop owner, guess I must really like donuts. Well, I'm off to breakfeast then, into the furnace with you!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Inside my Dreams
I'm standing on the cliff again, staring out into the sun. As usual it's setting on the horizon, giving off a beautiful light red hue that crosses the sky. It's a lighter color then blood, but so much more intense, fading to orange as it reaches across the sky to me.
She's sitting there, on the edge, the closest thing to the personification of my other self. Her scarlet red hair hanging down, wrapping around her side to fall in her lap. She has on the usual black dress, all billowy and frilly like a gothic lolita. To busy and patterned for my tastes.
Walking up to her I sigh, parts of my self being so foreign I can't help but do so. I sit beside her and we stare at the sun for awhile. It never moves in this world, and it never blinds me. I don't really understand what goes on in my head at times.
Finally she turns and looks at me, her face containing all the innocences of a child. She asks me her question in her light little voice, all fluttery and high like the tinkling of bells. And the innocence, always sounding so damn innocent.
“Why do you like to kill?”
“Because it's fun, why else.”
“Surely there is a reason why it's fun?”
“I don't know exactly. I just don't like people.”
“What, so you're just going to destroy what you don't like?”
“Yeah, it makes sense to me. If you don't like something, get rid of it. Besides, it's human nature, we're all so wretched. Pathetic meat bags walking the Earth. We're most likely going to kill ourselves anyways, probably drag the whole planet with us.”
“So shouldn't you be trying to prevent that? You're only moving it closer! And you enjoy it to much, you're not even using it as a distraction from the horrors of the world.”
“Of course it's not a distraction, I'm a horror in my own right. Unlike you, I accepted a long time ago that humanity isn't worth much. Our lives are short and fleeting, punctured with instances of happiness that make the rest of the days bearable. Yet without that sadness, happiness can't even exist. So ironically my actions give humanity even more reason to treasure their happiness.”
“You're just twisting your actions to appear as the hero.”
“No, not the hero part anyways, but it does look like it doesn't it? I'm no hero, but I enjoy the irony of twisted half-truths. The fact that it's half right in the first place, that humans take their happiness for granted. It's funny.”
“How is that funny!?”
“Because I kill them, like the animals they are. They aren't happy, and they can't be happy, so I just kill them. I'm doing them a favor.”
“What you're doing is twisting reality. That statement isn't even linked to your last statement either.”
“Who says the statement has to be?”
“I do!”
“You mean me?”
“Yes!”
“Why should I bother listening to that form of reason, your reason just brings about useless crap.”
“Feelings of sad or worriesom emotions, of pain, of moral judgment and justification, even small moments of weakness are import-”
“Fun is it's own justification.”
“No it's not! Why won't you listen to me!? I'm you, why can't I ever get it through. Just accept it, you have the potential for what I am.”
“Yes, I know I can have what you are, but I don't want you.”
Once again I find myself standing behind her. She's crying, fearful, sobbing, choking on her grief. I raise my foot and kick her off the edge. I don't just shove her, I actually kick her full force, causing her to buckle and tumble as she falls. I watch her fall, screaming. It's funny, people always have falling dreams, but none like this I think. Though I usually wake up when she hits, sometimes I don't.
I can't help but smile. I'm hatred, I'm spiteful, I'm darkness, I'm cruelty, I'm fearless, I'm strength, I'm wit, I'm smart, I'm unsympathetic, I'm a murderer, I'm a cheat, I'm a liar, but above all, I'm happy. I guess that makes me insane, but at least I'm sane enough to know it. It's satisfying to know that, just like it is to hear the sound of her hitting the ground as I wake up.
I think today is going to be a great day. Even if I have this dream again, and she comes through me every now and then, I always seem to win in the end. I'm not worried, I have a fresh batch of victims, I'm evil, I'm happy.
<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Sord on 2007-07-18 20:34 ]</font>
<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Sord on 2007-07-27 19:07 ]</font>