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Solstis
Oct 19, 2007, 09:04 AM
Step 1: The emphasis should be on how cool of a writer you are, not on how cool your character is.

Step 2: Go do something else.

Step 3: Disapprove

Example: http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_disapprove.gif

Weeaboolits
Oct 19, 2007, 11:33 AM
Step 1: Di

Step 2: wa

Step 3: ri

HAYABUSA-FMW-
Oct 19, 2007, 10:10 PM
Step 2.5 don't read anyone else's ever.

DizzyDi
Oct 19, 2007, 10:54 PM
http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a299/MixMasterMark/FKL%20STUFF/doom1.jpg
http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a299/MixMasterMark/FKL%20STUFF/doom2.png
http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a299/MixMasterMark/FKL%20STUFF/doom3.png
http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a299/MixMasterMark/FKL%20STUFF/doom4.png
http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a299/MixMasterMark/FKL%20STUFF/doom5.png
http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a299/MixMasterMark/FKL%20STUFF/doom6.png
http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a299/MixMasterMark/FKL%20STUFF/doom7.png

BlackHat
Oct 19, 2007, 11:01 PM
http://eddddie.googlepages.com/facepalm.jpg

HAYABUSA-FMW-
Oct 19, 2007, 11:02 PM
I guess I just read one. I lost the game?

2002, you say. Dizzy, you posted old shatz, you also lost the game.

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: HAYABUSA-FMW- on 2007-10-19 21:03 ]</font>

Rasputin
Oct 19, 2007, 11:02 PM
HAHA O WOW

DizzyDi
Oct 19, 2007, 11:05 PM
I have immunity to the game.

HAYABUSA-FMW-
Oct 19, 2007, 11:07 PM
On 2007-10-19 21:05, DizzyDi wrote:
I have immunity to the game.


You lost the posting old stuff/posting animu/or posting old stuff animu, you lost this game.

astuarlen
Oct 19, 2007, 11:09 PM
Dizz, that was fucking profound. Like, really. Such insight into the human condition!

DizzyDi
Oct 19, 2007, 11:09 PM
Half-Life: Full-life Consequences

John Freeman who was Gordon Freemans brother was one day in an office typing on a computer. He got an email from his brother that said that aliens and monsters were attacking his place and aksed him for help so he went.

John Freeman got his computer shut down and wet on the platform to go up to the roof of the building where he left his motorcycle and normal people close because he was in his office lab coat. John Freeman got on his motorcycl and said "its time for me to live up to my family name and face full life consequences" so he had to go.

John Freeman ramped off the building and did a backflip and landed. He kept driving down the road and made sure there was no zombies around because he ddint have weapon.

The contrysides were nice and the plants were singing and the birds and the sun was almost down from the top of the sky. the mood was set for John Freemans quest to help his brother where he was. John Freeman looked around the countrysides and said "its a good day to do what has to be done by me and help my brother to defeat the enemys".

John Freeman was late so he had to drive really fast. A cop car was hiden near by so when John Freeman went by the cops came and wanted to give him a ticket. Here John Freeman saw the first monster because the cop was posessed and had headcrabs.

"I cant give you my lisense officer" John Freeman said

"Why not?" said the headcrab oficer back to John Freeman.

"Because you are headcrab zombie" so John Freeman shot the oficer in the head and drove off thinking "my brother is in trouble there" and went faster.

John Freeman had to go faster like the speed of sound and got there fast because Gordon needed him where he was. John Freeman looked at road signs and saw "Ravenholm" with someons writing under it saying "u shudnt come here" so John Freeman almost turned around but heard screaming like Gordon so he went faster again.

John Freeman drove in and did another flip n jumped off his motorbike and the motor bike took out some headcrab zombies infront of John Freeman. John Freeman smiled and walked fast. John Freeman then looked on the ground and found wepon so he pickd it up and fired fast at zombie goasts in front of a house.

John Freeman said "Zombie goasts leave this place" and the zombie goasts said "but this is our house" and John Freeman felt sorry for them becaus they couldnt live there anymore because they were zombie goasts so he blew up the house and killed the zombie goasts so they were at piece.

Then John Freeman herd another scream from his brother so he kept walking really faster to get where he was. Ravenholdm was nothing like the countrysides there was no birds singing and the pants were dead and teh dirt was messy and bloody from headcrabs.

When John Freeman got to where the screaming was started from he found his brother Gorden Freeman fightin the final bosss and Gordon said "John Freeman! Over here!" so John Freeman went there to where Gordon Freeman was fighting. John Freeman fired his bullet from teh gun really fast and the bullets went and shot the final boss in the eyes and the final boss couldnt see.

Gordon Freeman said "its time to end this ones and for all!" and punched the final boss in the face and the final boss fell. John Freeman said "thanks i could help, bro" and Gordon Freeman said "you should come here earlier next time" and they laughed.

The laughed overed quickly though because John Freeman yelled "LOOK OUT BRO!" and pointed up to the top of the sky. Gordon Freeman looked up and said "NOO! John Freeman run out of here fast as you can!" and John Freeman walked real fast out.

John Freeman loked back and saw Gordon get steppd on by the next boss and he was mad and angry.

"I'll get you back evil boss!" John Freeman yelled at the top of lungs.

to be continued..?



http://youtube.com/watch?v=XZrkOTzPUC4

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: DizzyDi on 2007-10-19 21:11 ]</font>

BlackHat
Oct 19, 2007, 11:15 PM
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/0903/Kommando/morganfreeman.jpg

DizzyDi
Oct 19, 2007, 11:28 PM
MOAR FANFIX!

Halo: Halos in Space

Joe Chief was in space and had wepons and was a army guy but he wasnt a robot liek Master Chief so he didnt fly. Joe Chief was one day in a place and shooting wepon at targits and then got a call on the space tv in the ship that said to him "JOE CHIEF ALIENS ARE SHOTING AT SHIP COME HERE QUICK" so he went.

Joe Chief ran fast there to where bullets were from aliens and took out his wepons and shot at space to hit ships. Aliens started flying from space into Joe Chiefs ship so he had to do somthing quick. Joe Chief punched a alien and ran fast to get big wepon from the lock room so he went there and got it and shot alien again in teh legs and they fell and Joe Chief shot again and killd them. Joe Chief lookd at dead aliens and said to them "Aliens we are human people and you are aliens but we dont need to kill things like us" and then pushed them into space.

After teh normil aliens the flood came and every thing got wet and messy and lightningy becaus water hit teh space tv and all the things and made sparks. After teh aliens sent the flood other aliens with big heads came and Joe Chief had to runaway becaues there was to many of those and they were killing other human people on teh ship.

"Human people army guys hurry and come in ship!" Joe Chief said to the human people there becaus aliens were killing them and he was in a escape ship and ready to go. 3 other human people came just in time becaus the big ship blew up n they were flying fast in space and going to the Halo to meet the army base and get ready fo tight.

Joe Chief had to fly fast and go a round tings liek alien ships and things. Then out of no where BOOM happend and the back of the espcape ship fell open n one of the army guys fell out and explodd in space then another one closed it and said "NOOOOO HE WAS MY BROTHER!" and then got tired and slept.

Joe Chief lookd a front of him and seen alien shooting at him so he did a barral roll and teh lasers went around him and went away. Joe Chief sawd the Halo in Space so he put the ship faster and went there quick becaus a lot of aliens were there. Joe Chief shot like "bang bang bang" from teh ship and made aliens blow up and then landed ship on Halo.

Joe Chief said to teh other 2 army guys "Were here now get wepon n kill aliens fast" so they did but when they left a ship landed and skwashed them.

Human people army guys were all dying fast and Joe Chief had to save them but he didnt know how but then he saw something and went to it and piced it up and said "no we win" to himself.

to be continued...?

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: DizzyDi on 2007-10-19 21:28 ]</font>

BlackHat
Oct 19, 2007, 11:34 PM
Who writes this shit?

It sounds like kindergarten fanfics.

DizzyDi
Oct 19, 2007, 11:35 PM
Theres plenty more where that came from:

Metal Gear Solid: Fight of Metal Gears

Solid Snake was old and died before and his kid Jake Snake had to do things now for the world. Jake Snake growed up with Solid Snake and helped him beat metal gears but now Solid Snake was not there anymore and only Jake Snake was.

"Solid Snake what happens when you die" Jake Snake asked Solid Snake one time.

"It will be you left to beat the bad guys in the world and do what needs to be done." Solid Snake said to Jake Snake then he died later.

Jake Snake got a call from Otacon and Otacon said "Jake Snake metal gears are fighting in Out Heaven and you have to go there to fight them" so Jake Snake said "Otacon you were Solid Snakes friend and i want you to be my friend so i will fight metal gears too" so he left to Out Heaven to fight metal gears.

Jake Snake got his wepons and cigars becaus he didnt smoke cigarets and got on a plane and drove fast to Out Heaven to get where metal gears were fighting there. Jake Snake got to the top of the sky near where metal gears were fighting and put on autopilots and flipped out of the plane. Jake Snakes parashoot didnt open so he landed in water and swimmed to fighting metal gears. Jake Snake got out of the water and crawled fast and quiet to where metal gears were. Jake Snake pickd up a rocket gun and crawled faster and quiet so metal gears couldnt see him there.

Jake Snake stoped and smoked a cigar becaus he was tired then out of no where Otacon came on the phone and yelled "JAKE SNAKE BEHIND YOU!' so Jake Snake turned around and saw a bad guy with weapon pointed at Jake Snake.

"Why are you working for bad guys" Jake Snake told the bad guy with the weapon

"Becaus they hav metal gears and hav weapons that shoot lasers" the bad guy said back to Jake Snake.

Then Jake Snake said "I have lasers too" and brought it out of his pocket where it was hiding and shot the bad guy in teh face.

"I dont like bad guys like that" Jake Snake said to the dead bad guy then he threw his cigar on him and he lighted on fire.

Jake Snake crawled fast again to where metal gears were fihgting becaus he could hear the bullets and booms. Jake Snake brought out his rocket gun and shot a rocket at a metal gear and the metal gear blew up and fell. Other metal gears came when the boom happened and came to Jake Snake who was crawling fast in bushes.

"They saw me" Jake Snake said so he put on camoflosh and disapeard.

"Where did he go" a metal gear said to the other metal gears

"Over there" and the metal gears shot at the bushs but they only hit ground and nothing.

Then Jake Snake said "i am here you bad guys" and was behind them. The metal gears turned around and saw Jake Snake in a metal gear that Jake Snake hided somewhere.

"Solid Snake fighted you bad guys and now i have to. you will pay fools" Jake Snake said. Then Jake Snake and the metal gears shot bullets and rockets and lasers and there was a lot of booms and dust came. The dust went away and Jake Snake was still in his metal gear but the other ones were there too and they said "We have armor Jake Snake" and Jake Snake said "What about this?" and shot something special at them.

to be continued...?

BlackHat
Oct 19, 2007, 11:37 PM
Meh, I will read that later.

http://i182.photobucket.com/albums/x195/larry67-01/Jakeroberts1.jpg

Weeaboolits
Oct 20, 2007, 01:33 AM
Where are you digging these up, Diz?

DizzyDi
Oct 20, 2007, 01:43 AM
Squirrelking and Peter Chimera on fanfiction.net

those fanfics aren't serious btw. they're just parodies.

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: DizzyDi on 2007-10-19 23:44 ]</font>

HUnewearl_Meira
Oct 20, 2007, 03:25 AM
Mr. Blue and the Shaving Foam

Against his better judgment, Jonah Malone kindly provided Mr. Blue the use of his bathroom. The fuzzy demon had given his bar a beer wash, and the Bride of Blue refused to allow him back into the domicile until the resulting odor was gone from him. The last time this had occurred, Jonah refused Mr. Blue admittance, and the entire downtown region of the space station wreaked for six months. Duly, Jonah hoped to rectify his previous mistake, and chose to experiment with a new policy: the demon would be permitted to use the shower, so long as he provided his own shampoo.

Mr. Blue survived the actual act of showering without mishap. He entered the enclosure, found a water temperature he was happy with, and proceeded to go about his usual sequence. After the shower, however, he stepped up to the bathroom counter, wrapped in a towel up to his armpits, and briskly rubbing another towel over his fuzzy head.

He began to behold the various items on the counter. Not merely seeing or noticing them, but in fact, beholding them. He found himself fascinated with a comb. He quickly used it to style the hair on his shoulders, and returned it to where he found it. He fondled a tooth brush, and praised it as a mighty warrior of dental health. When that was ceremoniously returned to its holder, he discovered the aerosol can of shaving foam.

He pressed the button, and foam appeared from its nozzle. Intrigued, he decided that he wanted to learn more. He began reading the side of the can. Minutes later, he was covered in the foam, from the bottom of his chin, to the top of his head. A thick layer of foam, rubbed thoroughly into his fur, and he reveled in it. His beak-like array of teeth jutted out from it, creating the just impression of a joyful grin. He abruptly stopped his giggling, when his eyes discovered a straight-blade razor. Goggling it, he knew what he had to do.


-=>|<=-

"It always worries me," Jonah commented as he set down a silver tray, "When I hear Mr. Blue giggling."

"Oh, what's the worst he can do, Jonah?" his angelic wife, Crystible, replied, "Clog our drains with his fur?"

"No, surely he won't do that," Jonah explained. "When I adopted the new policy, I had garbage disposals installed in all the drains in the residence. I may be a lot of things, but unprepared is not one of them."

As he finished that statement, the bathroom door opened, and before the pair could turn to see, a commanding voice shouted at them, "Before you judge me!"

The two looked in appalled amazement at Mr. Blue. Mr. Blue continued, "Answer me this question!" He posed dramatically with his right arm outstretched toward them, "How many times before now, have people justified their actions by claiming that, 'it seemed like a good idea at the time'?!"

Mr. Blue stepped into the light, revealing his naked head, shaven to an abrupt stop just below his jaw line. The shave was imperfect, and though his head proved to be quite reflective, he had several patches of stubble distributed over the pale surface of his skin, and most especially near the nooks and crannies that become difficult to scrape.

Recovering from the initial shock, Jonah stared at Mr. Blue, blamelessly. Finally, he provided Mr. Blue with his answer, suggesting, "Tens of dozens, perhaps." The answer provided, he followed through with the judgment, in accordance with the terms Mr. Blue set, qualifying his previous statement with, "Though about half of them are likely to be you."

Nai_Calus
Oct 20, 2007, 04:03 AM
Nai Calus stared at Nai Calus with the sort of unbelieving, bewildered look usually reserved for when one has discovered a new thing so strange, so incomprehensible that the only possible reaction can be a hearty, resounding 'What the fuck?'

Nai Calus, for his part, stared at Nai Calus with nearly the same look, though his was slightly more refined and merely asked 'What the hell?'. He had been somewhat wary of traveling through the gateway to another dimension recently discovered by Pioneer 2, and it now seemed that his wariness had not been baseless. The man in front of him, certainly, was dressed wrong, and certainly he did not appear to be any sort of Force like he was, but other than that the resemblance was total and unmistakable. Right down to what his navigation system told him was the man's registered name with the Guardians, Gurhal's apparent counterpart to Pioneer 2's Hunter's Guild. He wasn't quite sure how to deal with the apparent existence here of, well, himself.

"So..." Gurhal's Nai Calus began, warily.

"So..." Ragol's continued, blinking in confusion.

"Well, um, hi?"

"If I touch you, does the universe explode?" Gurhal's Nai seemed taken aback by this remark.

"I don't know. I doubt it. Um... Just in case, let's not."

"Hey, Nai!" Boomed the voice of Gurhal's Nai's occasional partner, a beast named Aedan. "How are y- Um, Nai?"

"Yes?" Chorused a pair of identical voices.

"Uh. Why are there two of you."

"I... Don't know." Gurhal's Nai said, glaring at Ragol's. Ragol's glared back.

"Oh. Okay. Well, as long as it doesn't break any laws it must be OK. Anyway, I just came to tell you that Elly wants you to come over tonight and feed her PM for her while she's visiting her parents. And you know how Calus gets when he's neglected... Well, if you can call that pink thing a 'he', but whatever." He blinked in confusion, and ran off.

"Do you think he even noticed that he was looking at the wrong one of us the entire time?" Ragol's Nai asked, blinking.

"I know for a fact that he didn't. He's a nice guy, but a little thick in the head."

"So I've heard about Beas- Wait a minute, did he say Elly? What's she doing here? And Calus too? I thought they were staying back on Ragol... And what the hell is this about Cal wearing pink? The hell?"

"Wait, you've got an Elly there too? And a Ca- But I thought you guys had mags that didn't turn into humanoid forms, not like our Partner Machines."

"Par- Well, yeah, what the hell, he's a machine here too, just one of your mag-type things instead of an AI, I guess." He paused and looked at his counterpart.

"So back to earlier... Does the universe explode if I touch you?"

"Only one way to find out, I guess." Gurhal's Nai said, shrugging. He poked Ragol's Nai in the ribs.

-----

"Hey Nai, I forgot to te- Huh, that's funny, where'd they go?" Aedan scratched his head, looking around. He noticed a pile of clothing on the ground. "Ohhhh. Oh man, I dunno about that. In the middle of Ohtoku City and everything. The Communion is gonna have your ass if they find out, Nai. Nai? Sheesh, you'd think they'd at least hear me..." He shrugged and wandered off, failing to notice that the clothes on the ground could not possibly have gotten the way there were if they'd been deliberately taken off.

--------------------

There. Now *that's* how not to write a fanfic. http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wacko.gif

Solstis
Oct 20, 2007, 10:23 AM
Satire doesn't count. Solly points shall be subtracted based on the honor system.

Nai_Calus
Oct 22, 2007, 03:04 AM
Mine wasn't satire, it was just bad. :< GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE PREASE. ;o;

Or the Del Ian shall rawr at you! And you don't want that!