KodiaX987
Nov 1, 2007, 10:00 AM
Following up on the three genera of lesser humans (Homo Sapiens Sapiens Newbie, Homo Sapiens Newb and homo n00b - please note capitalization), let's now take a look at some of the more localized subspecies, in which case we'll take a look at the localization's effect as a whole on all three lesser humans. Localization plays a rare to minor part in the newbie, a frequent role in the newb, and can be considered almost a completely alternate species in the n00b, due to the localization being so intense that it even deforms the affected person's personality beyond all repair.
SUBSPECIES KOREA
Those of the korea subspecies demonstrate a highly specialized mind that is able to tackle a particular task in the most efficient possible way, but fails to form even the basic logic in other tasks said person is unfamiliar with. The korea's method of learning is based on intense and sweat-breaking repetition of the task until he is certain that he has mastered it under all of its aspects. While this forms a solid contender on the front he's fighting on, the vigor of the conditions imposed upon the poor sap result in a rather chaotic persona that randomly switches between deathly silent and unnecessarily verbose. A constant, however: the universally accepted form of happiness in the korea subspecies is through the onomatopea "kekekekekekekekekekeke". These humans are to be approached with extreme caution, especially if the environment is multiplayer, and a large amount of people are playing at any given time. They are known for being aggressive, and to actively seek out victims on public and international servers to feast on. Unless lady luck smiles, the korea can chew any player up and spit out the seeds in a record short amount of time. Some koreas have been witnessed as willing to pay for level-up with their life.
SUBSPECIES BRAZILIA
The brazilia is a strange subspecies that apparents itself to a vulture: it will follow up in the games that the koreas have adopted and feast on whatever remains - generally in the form of a heavily crippled, internationalized massively multiplayer game that is doomed to forever remain in beta state. Distinguishing the brazilia is a form of speech that puts emphasis on capitals, and largely disregards spelling and grammar as long as the message can be adequately conveyed. To this day, the average brazilia is unable to comprehend why in the world a person would shun him based solely on skills at observing the rules of the English language. In fact, the brazilia often comprehends nothing - as noted by his oft abysmal performance in the games he plays, going even so far as to become a liability to those around him and perform friendly fire in games that have no player-versus-player content. The easy way to recognize the brazilia is either via his patriotism or his constant bouts of laughter: thanks to choosing an online handle with the letters BR included, or by his incessant burst of "lol" and "jajajajajajajajajaja". Furthermore, the brazilia is reputably impatient, as he will spend his idle times yelling "GOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGO" to no one in particular.
SUBSPECIES AMERICA
The america is known as a rather strong subspecies. While nowhere near the level of the korea, the america has the advantage of a more diversified array of skills, most of which are trained to an acceptable level for an enjoyable gaming experience. Spoiling this pleasant competence, however, is the widest gap between sapiens and n00b, the former being a highly intelligent and articulate individual, while the latter has, for only asset, the single braincell that keeps him from defecating uncontrollably on the floor. Added to this problem is the strongest patriotism, surpassing even the brazilia. Simply saying a word that contains "America" or "United States" is enough to make the america cease normal functions and burst into a fit of rage. It is revealed at this point that, no matter where you live, America has saved you from complete anihilation at one point or another in history. Should you refuse to believe this, he will further add that America has the power to decide the fate of your puny country at any time and wipe it out of existence with the batting of an eyelash. Should you, however, admit yourself to be American, he will resort to calling you a stupid liberal.
SUBSPECIES CHINA
The china's behavior approaches that of the korea, but with the major difference that gaming is the china's job. Henceforth, the china has no incentive to bettering himself aside from money, thus providing him with a certain detachment from the game and allowing him to have friends and a family. While the china usually has next to no knowledge of the English language (relative to the korea, who can usually make himself understood, even if marginally) he is an articulate person among his peers. What he says, which game he plays and how high-leved he is, however, is a mystery, as the activities of the china subspecies as a whole are a jealously guarded secret. Unlike the korea, the china tend to keep to themselves, and as such, their effects on the game's community in general is minor. Some, however, do seep into international servers to let loose with their moneymaking schemes: they will create a new account, max it out, and then sell it to the highest bidder. Like the korea, approach with extreme caution. Fortunately, the china will not initiate conflict as long as you do not show any signs of hostility to him.
SUBSPECIES NIPPON
The nippon share a good relationship with the americas, and for good reason: the nippon subspecies is often polite, chevalresque, and willing to play by the rules. That is, among themselves. Although they do not openly express discomfort at those who visit nippon servers, they will nevertheless react nervously in the face of foreigners. It is but an open secret that the nippon like their own company, and do not wish any outsiders to disturb it. This can make playing in nippon space a rather tough thing to do, since the language barrier (including sugoi, desu, kawaii and ^_^, which the nippon do not consider a proper functional level of their language) and the defensive attitude of the nippon make them a very difficult community to be accepted into. At all times, the guest must remain composed and competent - just like the nippon, who have the narrowest gap from sapiens to n00b. In fact, they do not divide into those conventions: all nippon are averagely skilled at a wide variety of tasks. Their only downfall is their aversion to outsiders. Praise to those who gain the respect of nippons, for their will have gained not only good allies, but also the best chance of playing a truly enjoyable and fair game. Bring a coffee to the fight, however, as the nippon's instinctive habit of playing by the book without any fancy or flamboyant maneuvers will make your gaming experience among them soporific at best.
We hope this bulletin was useful to your proper recognition of different gamers, newbies, newbs and n00bs in the world. The n00b encyclopedia will be coming to a website near you in the very, very near future.
SUBSPECIES KOREA
Those of the korea subspecies demonstrate a highly specialized mind that is able to tackle a particular task in the most efficient possible way, but fails to form even the basic logic in other tasks said person is unfamiliar with. The korea's method of learning is based on intense and sweat-breaking repetition of the task until he is certain that he has mastered it under all of its aspects. While this forms a solid contender on the front he's fighting on, the vigor of the conditions imposed upon the poor sap result in a rather chaotic persona that randomly switches between deathly silent and unnecessarily verbose. A constant, however: the universally accepted form of happiness in the korea subspecies is through the onomatopea "kekekekekekekekekekeke". These humans are to be approached with extreme caution, especially if the environment is multiplayer, and a large amount of people are playing at any given time. They are known for being aggressive, and to actively seek out victims on public and international servers to feast on. Unless lady luck smiles, the korea can chew any player up and spit out the seeds in a record short amount of time. Some koreas have been witnessed as willing to pay for level-up with their life.
SUBSPECIES BRAZILIA
The brazilia is a strange subspecies that apparents itself to a vulture: it will follow up in the games that the koreas have adopted and feast on whatever remains - generally in the form of a heavily crippled, internationalized massively multiplayer game that is doomed to forever remain in beta state. Distinguishing the brazilia is a form of speech that puts emphasis on capitals, and largely disregards spelling and grammar as long as the message can be adequately conveyed. To this day, the average brazilia is unable to comprehend why in the world a person would shun him based solely on skills at observing the rules of the English language. In fact, the brazilia often comprehends nothing - as noted by his oft abysmal performance in the games he plays, going even so far as to become a liability to those around him and perform friendly fire in games that have no player-versus-player content. The easy way to recognize the brazilia is either via his patriotism or his constant bouts of laughter: thanks to choosing an online handle with the letters BR included, or by his incessant burst of "lol" and "jajajajajajajajajaja". Furthermore, the brazilia is reputably impatient, as he will spend his idle times yelling "GOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGO" to no one in particular.
SUBSPECIES AMERICA
The america is known as a rather strong subspecies. While nowhere near the level of the korea, the america has the advantage of a more diversified array of skills, most of which are trained to an acceptable level for an enjoyable gaming experience. Spoiling this pleasant competence, however, is the widest gap between sapiens and n00b, the former being a highly intelligent and articulate individual, while the latter has, for only asset, the single braincell that keeps him from defecating uncontrollably on the floor. Added to this problem is the strongest patriotism, surpassing even the brazilia. Simply saying a word that contains "America" or "United States" is enough to make the america cease normal functions and burst into a fit of rage. It is revealed at this point that, no matter where you live, America has saved you from complete anihilation at one point or another in history. Should you refuse to believe this, he will further add that America has the power to decide the fate of your puny country at any time and wipe it out of existence with the batting of an eyelash. Should you, however, admit yourself to be American, he will resort to calling you a stupid liberal.
SUBSPECIES CHINA
The china's behavior approaches that of the korea, but with the major difference that gaming is the china's job. Henceforth, the china has no incentive to bettering himself aside from money, thus providing him with a certain detachment from the game and allowing him to have friends and a family. While the china usually has next to no knowledge of the English language (relative to the korea, who can usually make himself understood, even if marginally) he is an articulate person among his peers. What he says, which game he plays and how high-leved he is, however, is a mystery, as the activities of the china subspecies as a whole are a jealously guarded secret. Unlike the korea, the china tend to keep to themselves, and as such, their effects on the game's community in general is minor. Some, however, do seep into international servers to let loose with their moneymaking schemes: they will create a new account, max it out, and then sell it to the highest bidder. Like the korea, approach with extreme caution. Fortunately, the china will not initiate conflict as long as you do not show any signs of hostility to him.
SUBSPECIES NIPPON
The nippon share a good relationship with the americas, and for good reason: the nippon subspecies is often polite, chevalresque, and willing to play by the rules. That is, among themselves. Although they do not openly express discomfort at those who visit nippon servers, they will nevertheless react nervously in the face of foreigners. It is but an open secret that the nippon like their own company, and do not wish any outsiders to disturb it. This can make playing in nippon space a rather tough thing to do, since the language barrier (including sugoi, desu, kawaii and ^_^, which the nippon do not consider a proper functional level of their language) and the defensive attitude of the nippon make them a very difficult community to be accepted into. At all times, the guest must remain composed and competent - just like the nippon, who have the narrowest gap from sapiens to n00b. In fact, they do not divide into those conventions: all nippon are averagely skilled at a wide variety of tasks. Their only downfall is their aversion to outsiders. Praise to those who gain the respect of nippons, for their will have gained not only good allies, but also the best chance of playing a truly enjoyable and fair game. Bring a coffee to the fight, however, as the nippon's instinctive habit of playing by the book without any fancy or flamboyant maneuvers will make your gaming experience among them soporific at best.
We hope this bulletin was useful to your proper recognition of different gamers, newbies, newbs and n00bs in the world. The n00b encyclopedia will be coming to a website near you in the very, very near future.