W0LB0T
Dec 15, 2007, 01:20 PM
The W0LB0T`s bad gaming awards are very un-prestigious awards handed out to games that have pissed me off. The games that are up for awards are games I have purchased during this year. So sit back grab some kind if alcoholic beverage and enjoy the show.
The first award is:
The Simpson’s movie award (Biggest disappointment)
The nominees are:
Guitar hero 3
Bioshock
PSU AoI: story mode
Gears of war
The clear winner is BIOSHOCK
Everyone had high hopes for this game, a spiritual successor to the arsekickingly good system shock 2. For most people they’re hopes where realized, but not I. it was too easy, I mean system shock 2 forced you to specialize in one field of expertise where as in bioshock you can kick arse at everything. Rapture is filled to the brim with ammo, health packs, money and those regeneration thingies. The big controversial twist and the ending were very lame, and almost exactly the same as system shock 2. (The twist that is) ill wont explain why because I could do a whole thesis on it at this point and there is other awards to give away. The only redeeming feature is that it looked good and came in a sweet metal case.
Runner up: PSU AoI: story mode
I was expecting a whole new story line, not just the online story mode with a couple of cut scenes thrown in.
Poker machine award (biggest waste of money)
The nominees are:
Guitar hero 3 (wii version)
Buying a new Xbox360 (not a game, but a money sink none the less)
ArmA: armed assault
The winner is by the tiniest margin: GUITAR HERO 3 (wii version)
This game was not cheap because you gotta pay for the controller as well. I purchased this game expecting to love it because I loved the other ones but didn’t own them. This game does have some good songs in it, but there are way too many songs I hate. The wii guitar hero port seems to be outsourced to my good friends Karim and Azis the dodgy brothers. The control is incredibly cheap feeling, it kills my hands to use it more than 10 minutes. The music tracks are only in mono and not stereo and that’s quite dodgy as well. And I just don’t like this game for some strange reason. Guitar hero 3 the legends of dust collecting.
Runner up: Buying a new Xbox360
I bought a new one because my old one went tits up (the technical term for broke down). I hardly use the bloody thing. Now that’s why I didn’t bother to get it repaired In the first place.
Millimeter award (shortest game)
The nominees are:
Crackdown
Portal
Red Steel
Wario ware smooth moves
Winna: PORTAL
Such a good game, just a shame I kicked its arse in a couple of hours
Runner up Wario ware smooth moves
Exactly the same reason as above
White-hot rage (most angry gaming experience)
The nominees are:
Need for speed carbon
Half-life 2
Forza motorsport 2
Metal Slug Anthology
The winner is by a margin bigger than the trans Siberian railroad: HALF-LIFE 2
GAME MAKE ANGRY!!!!! MUST SMASH!!!!! GURRRRR!!!!!! This isn’t just the angriest game of the year; it’s the most anger inducing game ever. I’ve hit my keyboard on stuff, I’ve thrown my mouse at stuff, I’ve punched walls, I’ve thrown cats (don’t worry he’s alright), I’ve recited my entire cursing dictionary, I’ve made up new swear words. This game just seems to radiate rage, hate and anger. Every element in this game makes me angry. Its almost like I have some kind of deep seeded hatred towards this game. But specifically for the points: Crappy inconsistent guns, annoying puzzles, headcrabs, ant lions, the way the story is presented and the sheer amounts of crud that litters city 17. But for some reason I keep playing it. This rage must be like a drug. This just game me an excellent idea, I should set up camera to record my excessive anger.
Runner up: Need for speed carbon
Those canyon boss fights are a really stupid idea. Nuff said
The tourist in Adelaide award (most boring game)
Forza motorsport 2
Project gotham racing 3
Wii play
The winner by a queen size bed is: Forza motorsport 2
Who would have know racing simulators could be so boring. The tracks are bland, especially those ones named after snakes, and there is no variety in game play. Then again that’s what this game is all about, being bored behind the wheel.
Runner up: Wii play
Booooring
The first award is:
The Simpson’s movie award (Biggest disappointment)
The nominees are:
Guitar hero 3
Bioshock
PSU AoI: story mode
Gears of war
The clear winner is BIOSHOCK
Everyone had high hopes for this game, a spiritual successor to the arsekickingly good system shock 2. For most people they’re hopes where realized, but not I. it was too easy, I mean system shock 2 forced you to specialize in one field of expertise where as in bioshock you can kick arse at everything. Rapture is filled to the brim with ammo, health packs, money and those regeneration thingies. The big controversial twist and the ending were very lame, and almost exactly the same as system shock 2. (The twist that is) ill wont explain why because I could do a whole thesis on it at this point and there is other awards to give away. The only redeeming feature is that it looked good and came in a sweet metal case.
Runner up: PSU AoI: story mode
I was expecting a whole new story line, not just the online story mode with a couple of cut scenes thrown in.
Poker machine award (biggest waste of money)
The nominees are:
Guitar hero 3 (wii version)
Buying a new Xbox360 (not a game, but a money sink none the less)
ArmA: armed assault
The winner is by the tiniest margin: GUITAR HERO 3 (wii version)
This game was not cheap because you gotta pay for the controller as well. I purchased this game expecting to love it because I loved the other ones but didn’t own them. This game does have some good songs in it, but there are way too many songs I hate. The wii guitar hero port seems to be outsourced to my good friends Karim and Azis the dodgy brothers. The control is incredibly cheap feeling, it kills my hands to use it more than 10 minutes. The music tracks are only in mono and not stereo and that’s quite dodgy as well. And I just don’t like this game for some strange reason. Guitar hero 3 the legends of dust collecting.
Runner up: Buying a new Xbox360
I bought a new one because my old one went tits up (the technical term for broke down). I hardly use the bloody thing. Now that’s why I didn’t bother to get it repaired In the first place.
Millimeter award (shortest game)
The nominees are:
Crackdown
Portal
Red Steel
Wario ware smooth moves
Winna: PORTAL
Such a good game, just a shame I kicked its arse in a couple of hours
Runner up Wario ware smooth moves
Exactly the same reason as above
White-hot rage (most angry gaming experience)
The nominees are:
Need for speed carbon
Half-life 2
Forza motorsport 2
Metal Slug Anthology
The winner is by a margin bigger than the trans Siberian railroad: HALF-LIFE 2
GAME MAKE ANGRY!!!!! MUST SMASH!!!!! GURRRRR!!!!!! This isn’t just the angriest game of the year; it’s the most anger inducing game ever. I’ve hit my keyboard on stuff, I’ve thrown my mouse at stuff, I’ve punched walls, I’ve thrown cats (don’t worry he’s alright), I’ve recited my entire cursing dictionary, I’ve made up new swear words. This game just seems to radiate rage, hate and anger. Every element in this game makes me angry. Its almost like I have some kind of deep seeded hatred towards this game. But specifically for the points: Crappy inconsistent guns, annoying puzzles, headcrabs, ant lions, the way the story is presented and the sheer amounts of crud that litters city 17. But for some reason I keep playing it. This rage must be like a drug. This just game me an excellent idea, I should set up camera to record my excessive anger.
Runner up: Need for speed carbon
Those canyon boss fights are a really stupid idea. Nuff said
The tourist in Adelaide award (most boring game)
Forza motorsport 2
Project gotham racing 3
Wii play
The winner by a queen size bed is: Forza motorsport 2
Who would have know racing simulators could be so boring. The tracks are bland, especially those ones named after snakes, and there is no variety in game play. Then again that’s what this game is all about, being bored behind the wheel.
Runner up: Wii play
Booooring