That dumb BITCH!!!!!!!!

[MetaZedlen]

Ok, so my progress report came yesterday, and of course I have an E in my sociology class(yes, I am an idiot, and it is because I didn't turn in 2 assignments...) so my mother doesn't only freak out as she would normally (not my first bad report...it is kind of a tradition...) but instead, she takes it completely overboard, as she does with any situation that happens to me nowadays. Anyway, she saw my grades, flips out, and right in front of me, she calls me a fucking idiot, thinking that now I am not going to graduate.

And on top of that, not only do I get the usual grounding (yes, kinda immature to still use that), but that bitch dares to take, wait, STEAL!!! stuff that is mine, my GH3 copy, and she also thought about taking my computer out of my room, but she didn't yet.

Jeez, I swear this day has sucked something terrible, so let's just hope that nothing else will happen...

[Anduril]

"E"? What's an "E"? Seriously I've only seen A, B, C, D, F scale, so I'm kinda confused here.

[Kylie]

On 2008-03-03 11:06, Anduril wrote:
"E"? What's an "E"? Seriously I've only seen A, B, C, D, F scale, so I'm kinda confused here.


My thoughts exactly, but I guess it's a bad grade (well, obviously). I've never really had a similar problem, but some of my friends used to get like one bad grade and get grounded until their next report card... I guess grades are important, but I didn't think so much punishment was what they needed to make their grades better. In fact, I knew a few people that dropped down a difficulty level because they were tired of having to try hard for their parents. Well, maybe that's what they really needed, but I always felt they could've done the harder work with more encouragement and less punishment.



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Kylie on 2008-03-03 11:13 ]</font>

[Anduril]

Personally I never really saw the importance of grades. I mean lots of times grades aren't an accurate representation of what a person has actually learned. I know this is a fact because I myself passed classes where I learned nothing with a B or better despite the fact that I slept through most of the classes. I got really lucky on those multiple choice tests.

[raikomaru40]

E comes after D, it's the same as an F

[drizzle]

That's no way to talk about your mother...

[Anduril]

On 2008-03-03 11:39, raikomaru40 wrote:
E comes after D, it's the same as an F

So is it some kind of crazy grading scale reform that took place after I graduated, or is this like a regional thing? Thinking back the only other scale I remeber that had an E in it was the E,S,N scale, with E being the highest grade.

[raikomaru40]

On 2008-03-03 11:44, Anduril wrote:

On 2008-03-03 11:39, raikomaru40 wrote:
E comes after D, it's the same as an F

So is it some kind of crazy grading scale reform that took place after I graduated, or is this like a regional thing? Thinking back the only other scale I remeber that had an E in it was the E,S,N scale, with E being the highest grade.




it's been going on as long as i can remember http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/anime2.gif maybe it's 'cause we're almost on opposite coasts of the US....i'm from michigan, i guess if you really wanted to know more, you could search about it on google

[Anduril]

I'll look into it. Might be fun to throw a curve-ball at my future students with a different grading systme than they are used to. http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_chuck-ball.gif



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Anduril on 2008-03-03 11:51 ]</font>

[Sinue_v2]

I never felt that "F" needed to be in an alphabetical grading scale, because "F" isn't really a grade. It stands for "Fail", meaning you failed to reach the minimum requirement of a D-, which is where the grading scale really begins. Just like "I" isn't a grade either, as it stands for "Incomplete".

[Anduril]

On 2008-03-03 11:53, Sinue_v2 wrote:
I never felt that "F" needed to be in an alphabetical grading scale, because "F" isn't really a grade. It stands for "Fail", meaning you failed to reach the minimum requirement of a D-, which is where the grading scale really begins. Just like "I" isn't a grade either, as it stands for "Incomplete".

I have met some teachers and professors who start their grading scale at C-, and count anything below as a Fail. Their justification is that if you can't meet the minimum requirement of average, then you have failed, so a "D" really is just sugarcoating your lack of effort.

[MetaZedlen]

On 2008-03-03 11:40, drizzle wrote:
That's no way to talk about your mother...

If you knew on how pissed off I am right now, you would probably say the same thing.

I think she is acting this way because she is losing her grip on me, I am 18 now, and am going to be moving in with my dad when my college classes start, so yeah, it kind of explains her ridiculous actions.

And I forgot to add that my dad hasn't seen this hell yet either, so now this day can get worse...but I'm sure that he won't be as nazi about it.

[Seority]

LOL, welcome to my world.
Over reacting religious parents.

It really sucks when that crap happens, but the only way I got out from it is to just take it.
It's totally against my nature, but they have the law on their side. Till the 28th of March. Then I can leave their premises and live on my own like I should of been able to do for years now.
So just let them take the junk away. If your parents are intelligent at all, they'll give it back, one day. I'm still waiting from the "Until you grow up," groundation from my video games to be let up. I guess 6 years later, I'm still immature. :/ So I go to Drex's and play PSU.
It's better this way because, take it from me, if you stand up against their 'perfect' judgement, they'll only take more away. Kinda why this is the first time I have a computer to use in 2 years. I resisted, so for that 2 years I just gave up. Hey, I might even be able to have friends over again! =D!
Note: my GPA is 3.5 XP!

[ABDUR101]

What parent isn't going to flip out when you're failing at something? If she were being all 'nazi' about it, she'd flip out that you got a B and not an A. Not being perfect is one thing, failing is the other end of the spectrum.

You're 18, you should be learning responsibility by now and putting effort where it should be. But then, you're 18, so I don't care; but odds are your mom does so thats why she chewed your ass out abit.

[Syl]

OP, you mom sounds like my dad. Except, it's been like that my whole life. I don't blame him cause I know he's just pushing me to do my best, but he almost always goes too far with it. I remember my last semster in HS I got all A's and B's, and 1 C. My dad was like you're never going to get into any colleges because you're too stupid to get straight A's. I ended up getting grounded for like a week or two... but guess where I go now? College.

Sure, your mom overreacted a tad, but that's not right calling her a bitch. Hell, my dad's an asshole (as most people would agree when I talk to them about my dad), but he's still my dad and it's kind of a parents job to be concerned about their kids.

Seority brings up a good point too. If you stand up to your parent's logic, you will always be wrong even if you're right. I learned that the hard way growing up, so I never bother arguing with my dad anymore.

[MetaZedlen]

To my last two posters: My mom gets very one-sided about situations, as I am sure that some of the others pointed out, so it is impossible to tell her anything otherwise.

And she is in a new field at her job now, but no matter what I tell her, she still takes her problems out on me and my sister, which I think explains our "rebellion" against her.

So basically, after a conversation with my dad(he wasn't happy, but didn't overexaggerate), I'm just going to let the next few weeks determine my future, if I am to move out or not, because I am not a "punching-bag" to anyone elses problems.



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Zedlen on 2008-03-03 13:03 ]</font>

[Sinue_v2]

You know, maybe you deserved to have your toys taken away if they're aiding in preventing you from getting better grades?

And lol @ over-reaction. You haven't SEEN over-reaction. Over-reaction is when you're 10 years old and you don't clean your room when you're told, only to come home from school and find all your shit in the front yard at the bottom of a burn pile. Too old to be a "punching bag"? My uncle was still getting his ass knocked out for backtalking his dad when he was 21 and in the military. Talk to your grandparents sometime about the way they were disciplined as kids. Grounding? You have no idea how easy you have it.



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Sinue_v2 on 2008-03-03 13:23 ]</font>

[ABDUR101]

My parents never torched my stuff or went over-board, but I know what over-exageration is, and your mom taking measures to make you put your efforts on your schoolwork and ripping you a new ass about a failing grade sound reasonable enough to me. My parents always ripped me a new one if I got an F, and they'd say "Hey, whats up with this C and D? Work on that." and that was a nod to me "ok, I gotta get my shit together or the shit will hit the fan."

At 18, you should have acknowledged that not doing two assignments(which were most likely major assignments) would fuck your grade over. Odds are you said "oh well, fuck it" and did something else.

You were ripped a new one in such a way because you're 18, your parents should'nt have to hold your hand when it comes to priorities. I imagine if you want to be treated like an adult, and expect them to treat you as such, thats their way of telling you you're not exactly 'there' yet.

Overall, take it and make efforts to do better. Lashing out doesn't solve anything. Talk to your teacher and see what you can do to try and fix what you did(/did'nt do).

[Leviathan]

They used "E" when I was in first grade &that meant a good thing. =|

But your mom calling you a "Fucking idiot" was out of line, it's after all a progress report, meaning that you have a chance to raise the grade.


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Leviatha on 2008-03-03 13:41 ]</font>


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Leviatha on 2008-03-03 14:13 ]</font>

[Weeaboolits]

In my senior year, I failed my English class because I turned in a major project a day late and got a zero, unfortunately for me, that assignment was weighted and it was literally impossible to pass the class without getting a passing grade on that paper. ._.;

[MetaZedlen]

Abdur, I am not trying to offend or be nasty to you in any which way possible, in fact, I consider you to be one of the most intelligent people I have ever "seen", but most of what you are saying about me is almost completely backwards, she thinks that she still has to treat me like a little kid just so I can get through life, but she cant accept the fact that I am going to be "leaving her life", so to speak...

I used to think that my dad was the asshole all of these years, but now I have realised that my mom is not the best person in my life right now...because he pointed out that she, no, her entire FAMILY likes to be miserable to each other, so I guess you could definitely say "runs in the family"...

Again, she is losing her grip on me, and she can't stand to lose this kind of power...but I fear of what is going to happen to my younger sister...

[ABDUR101]

I'm not attempting to be ignorant toward you either, I'm only calling it as I see it from this little snippet of your life.

My youngest sister has the same issue with her 18 year old son; she's very controlling(even of the men she dates), but as a parent it is hard to let go and take that backseat that one eventually has to. What you do is your business, and you know more of your mother and father than any of us do.

My point is; just acknowledge that being 18 doesn't make you an adult, you're still capable of grievous errors in judgement and your mom chewing you out and issueing threats to take your stuff, that happens to everyone; though there are far worse things that could happen; you could have gotten kicked out and so on.

Overall; its not as bad as it seems. You got an E, your mom flipped out. Getting your ass chewed out is never fun, but my mom has always told my siblings and I "You're never too old to get your teeth knocked out". i.e. You're never too old for a disciplinary backhand(verbal or otherwise) if it's necessary.

[thunder-ray]

Amen to that ABDUR101

[Chuck_Norris]

On 2008-03-03 11:40, drizzle wrote:
That's no way to talk about your mother...



That's no way for a mother to talk to her son.

[thunder-ray]

On 2008-03-03 16:48, Chuck_Norris wrote:

On 2008-03-03 11:40, drizzle wrote:
That's no way to talk about your mother...



That's no way for a mother to talk to her son.

That is also true but two wrongs dont make a right. He shouldnt sink to her level just because shes doing that.

[MetaZedlen]

Update: I have figured out a way to get her to stop and think about what she says/does.
So this is last night:

She sits down at the table ready to eat dinner, and she sees the progress report sitting out in the open, and this is what she says:
"Oh, what are these doing out? Did your dad look at them?"
Me - "yea..."
Her - "Well, what did he say?"
Me - "Nothing too big, he just wasn't happy about the grade."
Her - "Well, I guess he doesn't care..."
Me - "No, he cares, but there you go cutting him down again with your stupid bullshit about him."
Silence for a few seconds
Her - "Do you ever stop and think that you could be hurting someone's feelings when you say stuff like that?"
A light clicks on in my head.
Me - "Ok, did YOU ever stop and think that you saying what you do is kinda rude too?"
She shuts up about it for the rest of the night.

So yea, I guess to fight back I have to turn her words around and use them against her, and it may have made her think that she is so self-centered, but I swear that crap is not going to happen again.

[SabZero]

That does sound like move out time.

Also, two wrongs don't make a right. If you'r interested in having a fmaily, suggest family counseling.

[ABDUR101]

Counselling isn't necessary for stuff like this. Counselling is really only for people who can't find a way to work together and be around each other, not just because there's a mouth fight every so often. At any given day, there's a mouth fight happening between one member of my family and another, but in the end its makes our bonds stronger because we learn more about each other, and more about ourselves.

Running for counselling, popping a pill, these are all extreme necessities, in the end the best medicine is communication and learning how to cope and deal with those around you.

[MetaZedlen]

Well, I don't hate her, it's just that I am sick of bullshit. I have learned a long time ago not to run away from my problems, 'cause that would make me a coward.

[SabZero]

Counceling will help with passive agressive behaviour and emotional abuse. In any case, I don't think pills would help at all, lol. I'm kind of a medicinaphobic myself.

Realizing the situation is not normal, and that others' behaviour is not a reflection on yourself, are the first steps.

[DoubleJG]

Mountain Dew with an episode of Seinfeld always helps.

[Seority]

But feeling like you have to "win" arguments with your mother does show are immature you still are. If both of you were mature, you'd try to come to an agreement with no un-nesessary fighting and battles inbetween. And that can only start once one of you tries to settle things as such.

Also, I don't think he's going to go through therapy with his mother because of it, but I find it natural to go on forums and ask for help/advice from others. That's something mature I believe instead of always thinking you are right and everyone else is wrong.

Also also, and blowing up from anyone is over exageration to problems. It's just your grades. Do better so your mom won't be worried for your future and it keeps her shut. Both of you win if one of you tries to come to an agreement. That's not backing down. That's heading the problem head on and doing something about it.
Like parents should offer to help their kids with their homework if they are having problems with it, not just take their stuff away, go sit in front of the HD and drink beer.

[AlexCraig]

From what I have read, it seems Zedlen is more pissed about her cussing him out then her taking his stuff. I mean, yes, he is mad about that, but it seems he is more upset about her language towards him.

Councelling isn't going to do anything. Only make bigger problems out of small ones. I think he did the right thing when he told his mom to "think about what she says" (effectively).

I do, however, agree with what most of the people here said about her having every right to be mad. Back when I was in HS, when my grades came in, if they were crap, I'd get scolded. And even then, I knew that it was called for. If my internet was taken away, if my video games were taken away, if I was not alowed to see my friends I knew it was called for. One day, should you have kids, you'd do the same thing. Hopefully not cuss them out (which is uncalled for), but punishing them in a way that lets them know you are dead serious.

[MetaZedlen]

Ok *takes a deep breath*

I am not trying to "win" anything against her, 'cause that would be just flat-out stupid in my eyes...

This isn't the first time I have done bad in school, I understand that punishment is a "standard" (so to speak) to those of us that do bad in school, but this was considerably my "last straw" with her acting up, and I utilized this opportunity to set things somewhat straight...being that now it is like nothing happened.

There is no way in HELL that I would ever go for counselling from someone that I don't know, 'cause my mom always did say "You got a problem, talk to me about it."

And one more thing, I was super pissed-off the day I posted this, so it kind of explains why this topic may seem kinda screwy.

All-in-all, things have eased their way through, so nothing to really worry about now, I'll just keep a little bit of distance for the time being.