You're a joke MAKE ME LAUGH

[Nitro Vordex]

Someone make me laugh.

and not in a forceful way that could potentially harm me.

[Nai_Calus]

*casts Tasha's Hideous Laughter?*

[Nitro Vordex]

>_>

no idea what you're talking about.

[AlexCraig]

Two peanuts were waltzing down ze straza unt one was assaulted.

[Nitro Vordex]

Clevar, but try harder.

[AlexCraig]

"My dog has no nose"
"How does he smell?"
"Horrible"

[Nai_Calus]

On 2008-05-08 22:08, Nitro_Vordex wrote:
>_>

no idea what you're talking about.



It's a spell:

Tasha's Hideous Laughter
Enchantment (Compulsion) [Mind-Affecting]
Level: Brd 1, Sor/Wiz 2
Components: V, S, M
Casting Time: 1 standard action
Range: Close (25 ft. + 5 ft./2 levels)
Target: One creature; see text
Duration: 1 round/level
Saving Throw: Will negates
Spell Resistance: Yes

This spell afflicts the subject with uncontrollable laughter. It collapses into gales of manic laughter, falling prone. The subject can take no actions while laughing, but is not considered helpless. After the spell ends, it can act normally.
A creature with an Intelligence score of 2 or lower is not affected. A creature whose type(such as humanoid or dragon) is different from the caster's receives a +4 bonus on its saving throw, because humor doesn't "translate" well.
Material Component: Tiny tarts that are thrown at the target and a feather that is waved in the air.

-----

Well, how about a dirty joke, then? Alex fell in mud. *shot*

[TheOneHero]

*puts away Joker venom*

;-;

[Sord]

just get tired and wait for someone to say something random

[VanHalen]

A guy adopts a parrot from an animal shelter. The problem is the parrot's original owners taught it how to curse alot. Whenever the guy talks to the parrot nicely the parrot would curse him out causing him to get into arguments with the parrot.

One day the man gets so pissed at the parrot that he throws it in the freezer and closes the door. The parrot is in the freezer cursing, screaming, and flapping around. Suddenly it goes dead quiet. The man now feeling guilty thinking he has killed the parrot opens up the freezer and the parrot comes flying out.

The parrot turns to the man and says "I'm sorry I caused you to go to such desperation to get me to stop cursing. From now on I will only say nice things to you." The man relived, but a bit confused asked the parrot "Why the sudden change of heart?". The parrot relpies, "Can I ask what the chicken did to you?"

[Sord]

On 2004-07-29 13:36, Sord wrote:
Jesus and Moses were playing golf one day. Moses hits his golf ball and it goes into the water. Jesus does the same. Moses walks up and parts the water, then hits his golfball onto the green. Jesus simply walks onto the water, and hits his ball onto the green.

Suddenly a ball drops from the sky onto the starting point. It rolls down into the water where it is eaten by a fish. A hawk then dives down and catches the fish and begins to fly off. Suddenly lightning hits the hawk and it drops the fish. The fish lands right next to the hole, and the ball rolls out of the fish's mouth and into the hole.

At this, Moses turns to Jesus and say, "I hate it when your father plays."

[VanHalen]

Funny.

I have another one, when God created mankind he told them that if they do right in the world they will recieve a nice car when they go to heaven. If you lie, cheat, or steal you'll get a crappier and crappier car til you get nothing at all.

There was one family that was perfect in almost everyway until one day the husband decides to lie to his wife and cheat on her with a woman from his office. When he and his wife dies and go to heaven the husband is scared that his wife will now now he cheated on him. At heaven's gate the husband recieves a run down car and his wife recieves a skateboard.

[Nitro Vordex]

What was Einstein's favorite drug?

Math. *shot*

[VanHalen]

Lets see what other corny crap to I have.

What did Ryu say to Ken when Ken asked to borrow his car?

SHOURYUKEN!

What did Ryu say to Ken when he saw him that day?

HADOUKEN!

What did the five toes say to the face?

SHINKUU TATSUMAKI SENPUKYAKU

[Toadthroat]

Two muffins were sitting in an over.
One says "Hot enough for ya?"
The other says " AAAH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

[VanHalen]

What has many wings and can't fly

XBOX 360 HAS MANY HARDWARE ISSUES

[Nitro Vordex]

On 2008-05-08 22:54, VanHalen wrote:
Lets see what other corny crap to I have.

What did Ryu say to Ken when Ken asked to borrow his car?

SHOURYUKEN!

What did Ryu say to Ken when he saw him that day?

HADOUKEN!

What did the five toes say to the face?

SHINKUU TATSUMAKI SENPUKYAKU

DOCTOROCTOGONAPUS
BLAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRHRGH

[Out_Kast]

Why do elephants have big ears?

Because Noddy won't pay the ransom.

[astuarlen]

On 2008-05-08 22:28, Sord wrote:

On 2004-07-29 13:36, Sord wrote:
Jesus and Moses were playing golf one day. Moses hits his golf ball and it goes into the water. Jesus does the same. Moses walks up and parts the water, then hits his golf ball onto the green. Jesus simply walks onto the water, and hits his ball onto the green.

Suddenly a ball drops from the sky onto the starting point. It rolls down into the water where it is eaten by a fish. A hawk then dives down and catches the fish and begins to fly off. Suddenly lightning hits the hawk and it drops the fish. The fish lands right next to the hole, and the ball rolls out of the fish's mouth and into the hole.

At this, Moses turns to Jesus and say, "I hate it when your father plays."




Wouldn't Jesus's golfball have sunk? I don't remember any stories about him imparting miraculous properties to sports equipment.

[TalHex]

http://youtube.com/watch?v=onLbeuEqNIE

i dare anybody to beat this one

[Sord]

On 2008-05-09 17:07, astuarlen wrote:

On 2008-05-08 22:28, Sord wrote:

On 2004-07-29 13:36, Sord wrote:
Jesus and Moses were playing golf one day. Moses hits his golf ball and it goes into the water. Jesus does the same. Moses walks up and parts the water, then hits his golf ball onto the green. Jesus simply walks onto the water, and hits his ball onto the green.

Suddenly a ball drops from the sky onto the starting point. It rolls down into the water where it is eaten by a fish. A hawk then dives down and catches the fish and begins to fly off. Suddenly lightning hits the hawk and it drops the fish. The fish lands right next to the hole, and the ball rolls out of the fish's mouth and into the hole.

At this, Moses turns to Jesus and say, "I hate it when your father plays."




Wouldn't Jesus's golfball have sunk? I don't remember any stories about him imparting miraculous properties to sports equipment.


it's assumed the water hazard is shallow

[Feelmirath]

What's worse than an error 065?

Being raped by a horse.

[astuarlen]

On 2008-05-09 23:18, Sord wrote:
it's assumed the water hazard is shallow



Yet we've established that fish live in it, so it can't be that shallow, in which case walking onto the water probably wouldn't help Jesus's shot.

Your story is full of holes, Sord! I say it's a 'Shop.

[Sayara]

so a jew walks into a ba- hahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!

[astuarlen]

On 2008-05-10 09:11, Sayara wrote:
so a jew walks into a bar mitzvah

[TalHex]

*golf clap*

[Lance813]

whats harder to get out of my truck bed: dead babies or sand?

You cant get sand out with a pitch-fork!