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View Full Version : Long time since last fanfic [Further brainstorming, would like input]



Sord
May 20, 2008, 07:49 AM
But I'm thinking about writing one again. I've been kicking it around in my head for a month now. Like my last story (years ago in PSO times) I will be throwing away most of Sega's storyline to write what I want to. An alternate PSUniverse. In this one, Beasts are not happy with the end of the 500 year war, and instead of the major catastophe of SEED on the 100th Anniversery of peace, the Beasts start the war again. I decided to type up this rough draft of a prologue, my guess is it could be riddled with mistakes and might have fractured flow. I started writing this at around 2am I think. It is now 7:43am and I was tired hours ago. Any pointing out of bad flow or grammar/spelling errors will be appreciated. A great deal of the info here is based around what little is given in PSOW's Background Information under General Information for PSU. (http://www.pso-world.com/sections.php?op=viewarticle&artid=2412) Here's your long ass prologue, feedback appreciated, may determine wether I decide to write the damn thing or not.


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A little under a hundred years ago, this planetary system ended its largest Race War in its known history. The War began with the humans, everything always began with the humans, my own disgusting birth race. Evolving from nature over the millennia, they became smarter as time went by. They made technology, they built giant structures, their race flourished. Ever growing, ever advancing. As they became smarter, more aware, they began to come into tune with the planet’s spirit. They, of course, in their ignorance, did not realize it for what it truly was. None-the-less, the clever species realized how to harness it. They used it to further push their technology, to power their homes and their factories, and most importantly their labs. This power is of course what we refer to as “photons.”

With the advance of photons, humans perfected their engines, built larger vehicles, and eventually found their way into space. Once they found other planets, they saw how many resources existed, and sought to have them for themselves. They managed to find a small number of planets, each capable of holding their own population. Humans, already in their comfy homes, had no desire to leave their original home in large enough quantities suitable to populate a new planet. So instead, they created other beings to work for them in their place. Thus, the Newmans were created.

Genetically honed to be super-human, Newmans were meant to be the highlight of genetic engineering. They were supposed to be strong and smart, to be able to cultivate the land of Neudaiz for Humans who would come and live there after all work had been done for them. However, it did not go entirely as planned. Rather than producing a strong and intelligent race, they merely created an intelligent one. The Newmans were grown on what is today Neudaiz, and ordered to cultivate the land. For awhile they did what they were told, but it did not last long.

The Newman psychological development far surpassed that of the humans. This is important in two respects. One, humans were no longer superior; two, Newmans discovered photons for what they really were. Newmans realized that photons weren’t merely just a form of energy, but the planet’s spirit. This was due to their innate connection between their heightened kinesthetic mental power and the, rich, lush, untamed planet they now inhabited and were birthed upon. They realized they could harness the power directly, through their own bodies. They developed techniques, and harnessed the power of nature through their own planet. Using this power, they were able to drive away the humans that had already moved to the planet.

The Humans of course, would not stand for such a thing. A creation rebelling against its master was an insult. They pushed to the back of their minds the idea that they had actually made Newman’s smarter, that they were better than Humans. They prided themselves as the Original Race, and believed this made them superior to all. They claimed to be stronger, faster, and this was all they needed to be superior. They used their sheer numbers to oppress the Newmans. By this time though, Newmans had already had a taste of freedom, and would never be at a complete loss of power again. They fought to protect their planet Neudaiz, not only for their own sake, but that of the planet itself. Through videos and education, they knew what the Human’s had done to their home planet, how they were killing it, and they feared Humans would do the same to their planet Neudaiz.

Human military force was able to be held back, as space weaponry was not fully advanced as it is now, and human technology modified by the Newmans and their natural ability with photons were able to fight back against the few ships. Up until this point space weaponry was never needed, the only ships that were created were for mass transit between planets. This gave Newmans an equal footing to begin with, and combined with their heightened intelligence their weapons exceeded that of the humans and allowed them to stand their own against the Human’s numbers. In the end, Humans opted for oppression of the Newman race through trade agreements. Humans still had the bulk of the technology, and they would trade it to Newmans for the unfair amounts of vast photonic knowledge. This lead to the spread of Gurhalism (the idea of photons being a part of the planet’s spirit,) to the Humans.

Through it they learned how to harness photon power with their own bodies, though they never came close to what Newman’s could produce. However, it was enough, and arrived just in time. Their home planet had begun to finally collapse on itself, its resources drained, the planet poisoned. Crops would not grow, new materials could not be made, and the human race was still becoming ever larger. A mass exodus from their home planet began. They launched what is known in history as the Pioneer Project, a series of colony ships, made from recycled materials in buildings, power plants, anything that could be recycled and put to use. Without the learned knowledge of photon output from the Newmans it would never have succeeded. All Pioneer ships were directed to one planet: Parum. Parum closely resembled their home planet, and they adapted well to it. The Humans, however, did not quite learn from their mistakes.

Upon landing they immediately began raping the planet, draining its resources, spreading across it like an infection, worms digging into a nice, new, juicy fruit. Humans that were born on the planet and trained in Gurhalism or at least its teaching in photon usage found they had a much higher aptitude with it, being able to draw on the spirit of this untamed planet and its life. Fearing the loss of this power and a repeat of their home planet, they sought a solution. Once again, they themselves were not the solutions, their greed was great and they would not sacrifice their comforts. They decided to try and create another race, the noble and wild Beasts.

Instead of making Beasts smart as Humans had done with Newmans, they opted for pure strength. They thought it would be easier to control brute force, a race not so keen on intelligence, unable to use photons techniques on their level. The original Beasts were grown and put on the planet Moatoob. A planet that was once lush, green, and plentiful with water. Beasts were not very smart at first, but they were powerful and noble. The humans had no desire to move to Moatoob, but rather had Beasts mine the planet for resources that would be sent to Parum, in order to give it resources without killing Parum itself.

Due to this, only a small number of Humans ever stayed on Moatoob, only enough to enforce slave labor on the Beasts that lived there. However, the population of Beasts finally began to exceed that of the enforcers, and through sheer brute force an uprising occurred. Many enforcers were killed, others sent back as a message that the Beast’s had claimed their rightful freedom. Once again, the Humans tried to take control and failed. Beasts did not have the knowledge to build ships at the time, but only they knew the extensive layouts of the labyrinthine mines that covered the planet, dug by their own hands. The humans could fight fine from the air, but it was no good to them when their target hid so deep underground. The moment humans landed on the surface, they would soon find themselves ambushed and justfully slaughtered or beaten back.

Without being able to land safely on the planet and retrieve resources, Humans were forced to abandon any takeover of the planet, and once again withdrew. The Beasts had now claimed their own planet, and with its valuable resources began to perform mass trade agreements with both Humans and Newmans. Humans consoled themselves that they were smarter than Beasts, more intelligent and creative, and that made them better than the Beasts. However, Beasts became smarter with the rise of new technology pouring in from both cultures in return for Moatoob’s precious resources. Beast’s technology quickly caught up with Human’s and Newman’s, specializing in raw power.

After a time, there was a rocky peace. However, the human’s, despite having no more planets to possibly retreat to, continued to rape and destroy the planet Parum in their growth. It wasn’t long before they eyed the planets of Neudaiz and Moatoob. Neudaiz was beautiful and great for living conditions, and Moatoob rich in uncountable resources. Due to the oppression against Newmans and Beasts by humans, a stronger bond existed between the two greater races.

The Human government used this to spread propaganda that the two races were plotting against humans together. It succeeded in spreading mass panic and fear throughout the race. The one thing that was thought by all but admitted by none was this: Newmans are smarter, and Beasts are stronger, so what will we do if they fight us together? We are inferior.”

To cover the fear, humanity smothered it with pride, with elitism, and ultimately the idea that as the Original Race, they had a right to do whatever they want, and lay claim to any planet and any race. And so the Five Hundred Year war began. For a long time, it was Beasts and Newmans against Humans. The Newmans had their technology, the Beasts had strength and resources, and the humans had numbers, numbers like plagues of locusts.

Originally, the war would not have lasted as long as it had. Unfortunately, the Great Traitors, the Hypocrites, the filthy and now tainted Newmans committed an act so vile that all three races began war with one another, there was to be no unity. Throughout the creation of Beasts and the Human-Beast conflict the Communion of Gurhal, a religious faction on Neudaiz, rose to power. They encouraged low birth rates among the Newman race, so that little of the planet would need to be touched for resources, and its life force would be great and thus so would their photon techniques. They set regulations among themselves on who could use what techniques and under which circumstances. Newmans organized their society around this religious faction. They built a hierarchy, and it became corrupt, terribly corrupt. It craved more and more power. They even experimented on their own children to obtain better photon control, then using the children as priests or priestesses to wield power over the populace. They began to care more about the power than the planet itself, caring for the planet only because it was the source of their power.

Near what could have been the end of the war, when the noble Beasts and the Newmans had nearly beaten the Humans. Parum was reduced to mostly rubble, many humans killed off, most major cities burning and abandoned. Just before victory the Newmans destroyed Moatoob’s moon. The act ravaged the planet, the resulting warp in the gravitational field destroyed its climate. The oceans, lakes, and rivers dried up, and Moatoob became what it is today, a barren dry wasteland whose sole value is minerals and casinos. Living underground is not only necessary because of the intense heat outside, but because the only water that can be found is groundwater, deep in the earth, usually frozen.

The Newman C.O.G. had attempted to kill off the Beasts by destroying life on the planet by destroying the moon, robbing Beasts of all food and water and at the same time getting rid of the human’s that had threatened to take their planet. They would then kill of the Beasts and take Moatoob’s resources for themselves, so that they might never have to damage their own planet with mining or trade valuable resources or knowledge to other races. They could become supreme. The effects were not immediate though, and the noble Beast’s fought back against the Newmans. For a time, the Humans were forgotten as the Newman-Beast conflict raged on, which was a grave mistake. The human’s recovered as the Beasts and Newmans warred.

Realizing they could not fight for themselves, the Humans, for the third time, created something to do their work for them. The first CASTs were born, they were intelligent and obedient, and since they are not truly alive they could never manipulate raw photons for techniques. Their only choice was to use TECHNIQS, a technology developed by humans to store photon energy at a concentrated level within a weapon and use it as if you were casting a technique. However, their soulless bodies failed to even manage that very well, though it greatly enhanced the human’s abilities.

The Humans then re-entered the war, with CASTs on their side, fighting the fight for them, building themselves for them, and dying for them as much as walking metal can actually die. The first models were not great, they lacked a sort of critical thinking skill, instinct some would say. Over time, models improved, as CASTs helped humans make better CASTs and then those models helped and so on and so fourth, creating an exponential rise in CAST design and output. Eventually it was decided the only way for CASTs to be fully superior in battle was to allow them free thought-processing.

However, fear arose in the human public about this. Humankind had already been nearly wiped out by two free thinking species they had created in the past. A third would surely be the end of them, especially one designed as a weapons system. Instead of demanding everything of their creation, out of fear various factions of Humankind vouched for free CAST rights. It reached the point where some humans sought the cold logic of machines, and sought to put CASTs in political positions. Humans were becoming tired of war, and wanted peace. Some hoped logic removed of emotion could give them this, and it did. Those who let themselves be led by the CASTs won the civil war. The machines had progressed passed the humans. They were smarter and stronger, but didn’t mind living with humans if the humans tolerated it.

Eventually pro-CASTs won the small human civil war amongst the much greater Race War. Seeing that the CASTs had put the humans to peace, the Newmans wondered if perhaps the CASTs could bring further peace between the races. For the first time, they called off their forces against the humans, and sought a treaty with the CAST government officials. Through some supposed miracle, a treaty was made, and the Humans and Newmans entered a shaky alliance.

By this time the planet of Moatoob had fallen to its wasteland state. It could no longer be a source of wartime food and ration. It had the minerals and manpower, but not the food. Beasts were forced into a negotiation with the CASTs. It was long and heated, and still did not end on good terms. To this day, the treaty is the cause between the dissent of Beast and CASTs. Beasts still want to fight for the planet they lost to the traitorous Newmans, the inhumanity they suffered at the hands of the Humans, and the CAST that believe them primitive and inferior for still wishing violence.

Shortly after the treaty, the Allied Military Forces was created to protect the peace, headed by the cold, dead, logical CASTs. A large interplanetary mercenary group was set up, the Guardians, to deal with more personal and smaller issues of importance. A new era of peace was ushered in, and at the same time a deep resent was scarred into the hearts of Beasts. The Newmans got off free with destroying the Beast’s home, their life, the planet’s life. Those who would hold a planet’s spirit most Holy attempted to kill one, in the name of greed, the ultimate sacrilegious act. Instead they get a clean beautiful planet and live the high life of technology while Beasts squabble in mines. Humans used CASTs to rebuild Parum and terraform the destroyed planet back to its original form. The huge dent in human population has also left a good deal of Parum cities abandoned and unpopulated and open for human expansion again. Their greed and crimes against the Beasts was never punished, and their CASTs let the Newmans get off without a punishment.

So the Humans get a nice remodeled planet and technology, and some even live on Neudaiz now. Newmans get a beautiful planet with all the technology photons have to offer, and Beast get… a dead planet, with paid mining labor for the rest of their lives unless they choose to go “rogue.” Unless you are one of the lucky few who own a casino, which just isn’t enough. But Beast’s have been planning, and there is more organization to the Rogue families than anyone outside the know has ever expected.

The 100th anniversary of the Gurhal Star System Alliance is in one month. On that day, the Beast will begin their revenge. The traitorous, sacrilegious Newmans will be destroyed, the greedy, sloth humans shall be slaughtered, and the cold, dead CASTs shall be obliterated. The war shall begin again, and I shall be the last living human.

-Rickilee
-Adopted daughter of Beast Rogue Family “Sordes,” 1st class noble family

qoxolg
May 20, 2008, 01:39 PM
I can't believe I actually read it.. since I normally never read any PSU fanfics.. cause I am not really familair with most of the PSU terms and names.. http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wacko.gif

It's quite interresting.. so keep posting more http://www.pso-world.com/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif
I can't give you much feedback about the writing, since I am not a native english speaker >_>

Xaeris
May 26, 2008, 12:32 AM
Oh, I knew I meant to do something. I read this a few days ago, meant to reply, but forgot. I liked it, and would like very much to see more on what kind of conflicts this take of Gurhalian history produces.

Sord
May 26, 2008, 06:14 PM
I finally got around to watching the moving comic thing Sega has up, I loled to find out that the personality traits of Illuminus are fairly similar to Beasts, as it means Sega plot writing isn't much better than an outdated fanficer :wacko:

I figure it would be interesting to kick the humans out of the rascist category, and stick the Beasts in there. I know somehow a lot of people seem to suddenly not know of beast slavery in Sega's story, but COME ON, you can't just obliterate that kind of knowledge when the people are still around. It would be one thing if all Beasts were wiped out, but that certainly isn't the case.

This thing would turn out to be very political though, not in the sense of a democratic vs. republican debate of course, but more like epic political battle in terms of star wars or something. A lot of elements would be borrowed from past war developments, as can already be seen here, religion plays a major role, but also economic. Imagine Moatoob like a pre-war Nazi Germany, with an underground powerbase in the Rogue families. Germany was stripped of a huge amount of economy and blamed for WW1, while Beast's aren't getting blamed, they lost a whole damn planet almost, and that's not something you would easily forget. On top of this, it's also seen as an Unholy act of the greates calibur, which gives it a religious purpose as well.

I'm tossing the idea around wether or not to keep the Illuminus. I might just have them not exist, and have humans play the role of "Yeah, we did bad in the past, but we know it, and we are smart enough not to do it again." or I could alternatively still have the Illuminus around, and one of the first moves of the Beast campaign would be getting the Illuminus off the planet and revealing they were there, and the government was allowing it and the slavery in return for payoff. Then the Beast leaders would use this sudden burst of conspiracy information to rally the rest of the Beast world not already involved in the army to join and fight in the name of Beast kind.

Newmans would very much still represent the power of the church, albeit a corrupt one in the upper heirachies (which is nothing really new in history.) Plus Karen's Father or whomever is still running the show there, and we all know he's corrupt. Karen will never even find out she was the Maiden's sister in my storyline unless I change my mind, so it wouldn't be really revealed within the church and thus the other light master wouldn't take over.

The biggest problem I have is where to put CASTs in the whole situation. The Beasts see them as lifeless and cold (just like the Illuminus, heh) and either want them destroyed or to be used as true tools. The CAST themselves though are the problem, I've tossed the idea around of them boosting the AMF in size and contracting the whole of the Guardians to themselves as well. How the heck do cold logical machines think, but also just what their alignement would be, since the AMF is technically neutral and is it's own body, is a problem for me. So far all I can think is they would form to force peace onto the Gurhal system.

Anyways, ideas, thoughts, comments, and brainstorms would be appreciated if you have any.