Eihwaz
Jul 14, 2008, 03:31 PM
Now, this might seem like an odd topic for a rant, but bear with me. I've spent a good chunk of the summer working for my aunt and uncle in Arkansas. They run a title company, and I help them out with some basic-level stuff. Some days, however, I stay home and organize their large and unwieldy collection of CDs and DVDs. I get paid the same no matter what I'm working on, so it's a pretty good deal.
Getting through the CDs took about a week, but wasn't too complicated (with the possible exception of classical music compilation box sets, egad!), and getting through all the Blu-Rays didn't take more than an afternoon. I have now moved onto the biggest hunk of work: the DVDs. We're talking a closet full of 'em, plus some boxes full of 'em, and then another cabinet under the TV full of 'em. As I've been alphabetizing, the sheer idiocy of some DVD packaging becomes blindingly apparent.
First, DVDs with latches/clasps on them. Who on earth thought it would be a good idea to put clasps on a DVD case? I have never had an issue with a regular DVD snap case opening when I didn't want it to, but the latches always seem to get in the way. It's one thing when they at least lay flat and latch securely, but it's a whole 'nother fucking ballpark when they don't stay closed. When I'm putting Blu-Rays in a drawer, it's quite frustrating when I can't close the drawer due to some needless latch not closing all the way.
Next, slipcovers. If you want fancy holo-foil graphics on the cover, why not just print the paper insert with it, rather than making a totally unnecessarily slipcover? It's even worse when the slipcover is completely identical to the stuff underneath, save for a bit of extra gloss. However, it's worse still when all the relevant information to what's included in the set is printed on the slipcover and not the actual insert. Slipcovers become especially heinous when combined with the next issue...
Those sticky seals. Oh, how I hate those motherfuckers. I can completely understand having a sticky seal on the DVD, to help keep it sealed up. However, it boggles my mind when I try ever-so delicately to remove one, only to have it leave a nice big swatch of sticky bullshit. As mentioned above, it's quite frustrating when your DVDs stick together. Don't even get me started on when a DVD will have three god damn seals on it. One is enough.
Next, the ever lovely cardboard case. A lot of Stanley Kubrick films seem to come in these, as well as lots of random films from the 70's. These are a bit different in construction than the typical plastic snapcase; they consist of a sheet of cardboard with the various graphics/text screened directly on it, and a sort of plastic framework that sticks out. The cardboard cover is kept in place by a large, Trapper Keeper-esque latch that clicks down. Let me explain something. These motherfuckers do not play well with regular DVD cases. Oh, no. God forbid I want to put a regular snapcase next to one, as it will, without fucking fail, catch on the stupid plastic latch. I haven't even mentioned how they are not nearly as durable as regular slipcases, and are thus much less suited to protecting your DVDs. I don't know who decided that cardboard, a very much moisture-absorbing material, would be well suited for long-term storage of optical media discs.
Another peeve of mine is the classic unwieldy box set. Being slightly neurotic, a huge fan of movies in general, and having a total fetishistic love of box sets, the good old unwieldy box sets makes me want to just start burning down buildings. A good case in point would be the Dawn of the Dead: Ultimate Edition (http://www.amazon.com/Dawn-Dead-Ultimate-Ted-Bank/dp/B0002IQNAG/ref=pd_bbs_sr_2?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1216067043&sr=8-2) set. True, it's a lavish and very attractive box. However, because of the lovely multiple foldout sections, it's quite a bit of work to balance the damn thing on your arm if you want to, god forbid, take out one of the films and watch it. Even if they are a bit less luxurious, thin-sized slip cases that come in a glossy cardboard case are much easier to manage than big hulking box sets. I'm not opposed to the idea of a "gift set", but it'd be nice if the interior wasn't some complex unfurling monstrosity that requires preternatural psychic abilities to open without dropping it and breaking all the discs.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go back to mainlining caffeine and figuring out if In the Shadow of the Moon should go with the I's or the S's, and other similar issues that no one else on the face of the planet gives two shits about. :wacko:
Getting through the CDs took about a week, but wasn't too complicated (with the possible exception of classical music compilation box sets, egad!), and getting through all the Blu-Rays didn't take more than an afternoon. I have now moved onto the biggest hunk of work: the DVDs. We're talking a closet full of 'em, plus some boxes full of 'em, and then another cabinet under the TV full of 'em. As I've been alphabetizing, the sheer idiocy of some DVD packaging becomes blindingly apparent.
First, DVDs with latches/clasps on them. Who on earth thought it would be a good idea to put clasps on a DVD case? I have never had an issue with a regular DVD snap case opening when I didn't want it to, but the latches always seem to get in the way. It's one thing when they at least lay flat and latch securely, but it's a whole 'nother fucking ballpark when they don't stay closed. When I'm putting Blu-Rays in a drawer, it's quite frustrating when I can't close the drawer due to some needless latch not closing all the way.
Next, slipcovers. If you want fancy holo-foil graphics on the cover, why not just print the paper insert with it, rather than making a totally unnecessarily slipcover? It's even worse when the slipcover is completely identical to the stuff underneath, save for a bit of extra gloss. However, it's worse still when all the relevant information to what's included in the set is printed on the slipcover and not the actual insert. Slipcovers become especially heinous when combined with the next issue...
Those sticky seals. Oh, how I hate those motherfuckers. I can completely understand having a sticky seal on the DVD, to help keep it sealed up. However, it boggles my mind when I try ever-so delicately to remove one, only to have it leave a nice big swatch of sticky bullshit. As mentioned above, it's quite frustrating when your DVDs stick together. Don't even get me started on when a DVD will have three god damn seals on it. One is enough.
Next, the ever lovely cardboard case. A lot of Stanley Kubrick films seem to come in these, as well as lots of random films from the 70's. These are a bit different in construction than the typical plastic snapcase; they consist of a sheet of cardboard with the various graphics/text screened directly on it, and a sort of plastic framework that sticks out. The cardboard cover is kept in place by a large, Trapper Keeper-esque latch that clicks down. Let me explain something. These motherfuckers do not play well with regular DVD cases. Oh, no. God forbid I want to put a regular snapcase next to one, as it will, without fucking fail, catch on the stupid plastic latch. I haven't even mentioned how they are not nearly as durable as regular slipcases, and are thus much less suited to protecting your DVDs. I don't know who decided that cardboard, a very much moisture-absorbing material, would be well suited for long-term storage of optical media discs.
Another peeve of mine is the classic unwieldy box set. Being slightly neurotic, a huge fan of movies in general, and having a total fetishistic love of box sets, the good old unwieldy box sets makes me want to just start burning down buildings. A good case in point would be the Dawn of the Dead: Ultimate Edition (http://www.amazon.com/Dawn-Dead-Ultimate-Ted-Bank/dp/B0002IQNAG/ref=pd_bbs_sr_2?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1216067043&sr=8-2) set. True, it's a lavish and very attractive box. However, because of the lovely multiple foldout sections, it's quite a bit of work to balance the damn thing on your arm if you want to, god forbid, take out one of the films and watch it. Even if they are a bit less luxurious, thin-sized slip cases that come in a glossy cardboard case are much easier to manage than big hulking box sets. I'm not opposed to the idea of a "gift set", but it'd be nice if the interior wasn't some complex unfurling monstrosity that requires preternatural psychic abilities to open without dropping it and breaking all the discs.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go back to mainlining caffeine and figuring out if In the Shadow of the Moon should go with the I's or the S's, and other similar issues that no one else on the face of the planet gives two shits about. :wacko: