So FKL, here's the deal - Serious Topic

[TheOneHero]

I'm not posting this in Off Topic or Rants, because all the people that I really want to know are FKLites.

Some of you know, but for those that don't, I'm dying.

I have no reason to get into all the things that are killing me as it's complicated and it has nothing to do with what I really want to address. My tumors and possible cancer.

Nothing's been confirmed for the possible skin cancer in a few places, it seems unlikely to me, but checkups for other family members prompted my parents to make the appointment, it'll be some time before I go in.

I have over a dozen tumors throughout my body that I know of. Legs, abs, and arms are the main places. Each causes a great deal of pain, but only when they're put under pressure; except the ones in my arms. I've had these for a few years and only recently (in the past two) has the pain become absolutely unbearable. I'm not one to complain of pain, or call out, or the like when I'm hurt, I don't see the point. Why scream or yell when it offers no help to the situation? Why freak out and lose yourself? I don't do it.

But this...I can't wear a long sleeve shirt, wash my arms, or even grip something without feeling immeasurable pain. It takes everything I have to keep myself composed so no one will notice unless they're paying very close attention.

It's time to visit a specialist. So we did. This guy is supposed to be one of the best, "Hey, I have some benign tumors, they're pretty bothersome now; care to take 'em out." (Note: Most of the doctor's I've been to say they are benign, others say they aren't, but this is just preliminary doctor chat, no tests have been run on them.) He says, no problem, he can have 'em out in a jiffy. Awesome.

Then he learns the exact location of them. He says he wouldn't dare risk surgery as my tumors (about eight of them combined in my arms) are closely woven and beside tendons and nerves. Surgery is very likely to permanently damage my arms and hands. Removal of these specific tumors is not in the near future, if at all.

I'm not looking for sympathy or anything, it's just you guys are close friends and if something were to happen I'd like you to know of the main situation beforehand.

[SpikeOtacon]

Best be editing

[Nitro Vordex]

Yeah, you better edit that. >:U

[Adriano]

Well geez.
I really didn't know..I mean I'm new here and all but I still pick things up pretty quick.
You seem cool TOH :P
Were you considering having the operation anyway?

EDIT: Almost had user timed log out E_E;

[TheOneHero]

I'm going to check out other doctors and get more opinions on it. In the meantime though I'm not going to, I like having working arms and hands. :wacko:

[Nitro Vordex]

Disregard that.

[VanHalen]

Wow, I really didn't expect this. I don't know what to really say about this either. I am glad that you told us about it since I really would hate for someone I know to just up and disappear without any notice.

[Nitro Vordex]

You know, at least say it's a serious topic. :<

[Nitro Vordex]

So wait, can you actually see them, or are they hidden under the skin?

[TheOneHero]

They are under the skin, you can see the bumps they cause, but not from a distance. Sometimes you can see bruises above the skin for a few of them.

[Larian]

Hey, If you ever need a person to unload on or rant at or whatever, you got someone right here. I can't really say I know what kind of pain you are in, but I can say that I've been there and I know how you feel. I've been volunteering with Cancer patients for almost 10 years now, I've been in and out of hospitals all my life, and am a Hodgkin's survivor myself. And this subject is very near and dear to me. Just remember you are never alone.

On a side note. I was actually planning on posting about the surgery I am going in for in about 10 hours or so, but it really is no big deal. Nothing major, just some skin margins for Melanoma testing. I don't really feel like bringing attention to myself anyway.

[Sayara]

Best of luck to you Mr Toh

[Neith]

Sorry to hear that man, I had no idea.

I'm really not sure what to say, to be honest. Hopefully some other doctors may think the operation is doable, because otherwise that's a tough choice to make. If it were me, I'm not sure I would want to live without working arms/hands really. On the other hand, if these tumours aren't removed, you're probably looking at the worst :( I know 'think positive' is overused, but you probably should concentrate on the time you have left, and live it to it's fullest. You don't want to have any regrets, so try and think like some people have posted and make the most you can out of the time you have left.

I'm not sure if you know I changed username, but it's Uriko anyway if you didn't- I remember playing with you on PSOGC pretty often, was good fun.

Well, like I said, hopefully other doctors might see differently, no matter how unlikely it might seem.

I suck at situations like this, it took me about 20 minutes to even think what to say :disapprove:

[Meyfei]

i wish you both the best :(

-i posted this earlier but it didnt go through :(-

[AlexCraig]

Whoa. Damn... that is pretty serious there. Best of luck to you, TOH. You need it more than anyone right now.

[UnderscoreX]

That was very, very creepy to read.

Chin up, and I don't know any of the details so feel free to ignore this, but if there's a brighter alternative you should always look toward it not say things like "i'm dying".

[CelestialBlade]

Live on as long as you can and make sure you don't leave this world without any regrets. Don't look at it as "I'm dying," look at it as "I'm still living." Smile because you ARE alive, and be more proud of that than most. I wish you luck.

[Airalean]

Hey TOH, I'd still hit that.
Um, I agree with Underscore. Try to keep a good outlook on things.

And party with us ;o

[TalHex]

holy crap dude! well there is still hope right?

[Outrider]

Damnit. I'm sorry to hear that, man.

If I can give you any advice, it's to stay positive and don't let it get to you. Make sure you get a second opinion and even a third and just keep on kicking ass and taking names and making your time your own and not giving in to the problems plaguing you.

Anytime you need somebody to talk, you've got a good base here. I think I can safely say that there are plenty of people here that you can chat with if you've got anything on your mind. If you need an ear, I'll certainly lend one.

Just take care, stay strong, and keep thinking positively.

[TheOneHero]

Thanks guys.

I should clarify when I said, "I'm dying" it's not like, "you have this long to live" it's "my body is slowly giving way."

I don't let it effect me that much, I mean, I'm very active and live how I want to.

Anyway, I'll post an update after I find out more, we're planning on checking out other surgeons in the area and see what they say.

[Leviathan]

;______________;

I got so sad.
That sounds really painful. Hopefully it's not too bad.

[pikachief]

i just hope u find a solution and before its too late :(

my grandfather died of a brain tumor :/

[Sord]

just remember you can only die on the podcast

Disable arms and hands would suck (wonder if you would even be able to type on here.) I know you've told me about your tumors numerous times, so I suppose this isn't to much of a shock for me. I suppose it sucks that you (as of now) can't get the suckers removed, but if it ultimately comes down to death or life with chance of disabled arms which would you pick?

[Shadowpawn]

Well this is a downer. I didn't know that about you TOH. I honestly don't know what to say. It takes strength to put that out in the open, I respect that.