Sord
Sep 12, 2008, 11:15 PM
I was just drinking my usual bottle of LIGHTNING at the B4R when we were graced by a rather rare visitor. A tall figure, sporting a RAmar suit and a well kept beard. Meira (though that is not his true name) had come down to visit us from the (supposedly) higher parts of our world. But far more noticeable than him, was the little creature perched on his shoulder. The legendary d00t.A small orange ball, not much bigger than the actual fruit itself, with a mouth like a limp macaroni noodle, eyes of mismatched size that rested on it's body rather than reside within it, and legs and feet that somewhat resembled that of a three-toed bird. It sat rather contentedly on Meira's shoulder, trumpeting the d00t song. Despite the fact Meira had the power of the Mods, the very power that could alter, permanently halt (lock, as we call it,) or with the agreement of the other Mods, destroy the entirety of FKL, it was the d00t that received everyone's wary glance. I hadn't been there to witness it, but apparently at one point a large group of d00ts had destroyed a section of FKL. D00ts were capable of intense sonic blasts, and somehow, and it hurts my head to even think of the energies involved, they had blasted the section so much as to permanently warp the reality there. Eventually Meira had stepped in and halted that section of reality. When I finally came back to FKL, I decided to check out the aftermath. A few buildings had been destroyed, rubble from them frozen in the locked zone of FKL. The light shown oddly, warped and broken up by the different densities in the air caused by sound waves. It was basically like the concussion in the air you see in one of those high-speed camera videos of bombs detonating, accept there were several littering the air, frozen in place, and in focused blasts rather than in the perfect spheres a bomb creates. Looking through them was like looking through a distorted lens, or warped glass. Things appeared large, small, distorted or any mixture of the three depending on the angle you looked at it. Most disturbing of all though were the broken bits of reality. They appeared as black patches in the air, entirely devoid of light and unaffected by the warpings of the frozen atmosphere. Their full shape was hard to observe. Since any and all light ceased to exist, it had no definite depth. If you tried walking around it, it would look like a 2D object always turning to show you only its face. This was why nearly everyone looked at the d00t on Meira's shoulder with such worried looks. After tearing my eyes away from the odd creature, I couldn't help but notice the rather grim expression etched deeply into Meira's face. His stride to the B4R counter seemed unsteady, shaken, as if he were about to collapse from exhaustion. He ordered a GOD from Tact, our local bartender and medic, in a quiet and hushed tone. Upon receiving it he downed the bottle like a man dying of thirst in the desert, or perhaps a drunk drinking their problems away. It looked as if the latter were the more accurate analogy. He swiveled around to face the rest of the B4R, looking at no one in particular. He cleared his throat, and everyone paid attention. When a Mod had something to say, you listened. "I'm afraid I have some bad news. It seems my little partner on my shoulder had a... mating spree. Apparently the offspring followed suit. It doesn't take d00ts long to reach maturity, mere hours in fact. Nor are they effected by inbreeding." Some people already had an idea what was coming, curses and warnings could be heard under hushed voices. Only a small amount of d00ts caused the destruction last time, a whole mass of them though…"The d00ts have become vast in their numbers. At first everything was fine, but now it seems they've broken out into war amongst themselves. It seems it may have started over a change in the d00t song. A group of n00bd00ts thought it would be a good idea to change it, make it more modern and edgy. However, the shamand00ts would hear none of it. Fighting started, and the d00ts split into factions. The traditionalists are following the shamand00ts, and the "revolutionaries" are following the n00bd00ts." "The resulting war is ripping through FKL's older sections, destroying the place and steadily ruining reality there. Before long they will move closer to the newer sections of FKL as they are forced to move on by the continuous deletion of reality around them." For a moment the B4R was silent as things sunk in. Finally someone asked why Meira hadn't just locked off the areas. Naturally, the explanation only got worse. "There are to many d00ts, there are so many fighting and breeding that I can't keep up with locks. They spread faster than I can get to them, and are always moving. FKL is damned... unless you help me. If you all can keep the d00ts occupied and in place, I can lock them." Randomness, cocky as ever, proudly proclaimed "Ha! The d00ts will be no match for us! Heck, I alone could stop them. I need merely open wormholes and drop in some explosives, problem solved." Meira turned on Randomness, "That isn't going to work. FKL's reality is to warped and torn around the d00ts. Under normal circumstances, the reality here is in a far more chaotic state than the orderly, higher realms. As such, those who stay here for awhile learn to structure this chaos, and it's through that you and anyone else here can make whatever you want, rather than be limited by the more stringent protocols of the higher realms." "However, the reality around the d00ts is actually ceasing to exist, blurring between something and nothing. You have no influence from this far of a distance, because there isn't enough reality for your will to travel through, so to speak. You will have to fight up close and personal, or at least close enough to see clearly. That's the only distance your will can be exerted on FKL enough to force what little reality there is to allow your powers and weapons to exist." “This also means you won’t be your normal invincible selves, you could very easily get hurt or killed, or if you get to close to oblivion, you’ll find yourself joining it. You can heal to some degree, but no where near as fast. You get a few scrapes or some minor wounds, you’ll be fine. If your head gets knocked off or you’re gutted by debris from the d00t screams, you’re done for. Oh, and you’ll all be wearing ear plugs less you wish to rupture your eardrums.” For a moment, everyone was silent, waiting for Meira to continue. When he didn’t everyone exploded into questions and debates on what to do. Why hadn’t Meira stopped the d00ts while they were breeding? Why did he even create them in the first place? How do you actually kill a d00t? How are we supposed to deal with their sonic blasts? Can you make a sandwich out of them? And other such vital important questions. And then suddenly Meira burst out laughing. It took a moment, but eventually everyone noticed and stopped talking. Then Meira look at everyone, and with a large grin, shouted “Hah! Look at all of you! FKL’s not in any danger! It was all a ruse!” Annoyed, I couldn’t help but throw a tomato at him. “Happy birthday, dick.”
:wacko:
:wacko: