I just don't get it anymore...

[MetaZedlen]

Ok, now I am pretty sure that some of you know about the beefs I have had with my mom before, but now this is different...

Why is it that whenever I go to see her for a little while, she ALWAYS begins nagging on me constantly about me college scholarships and stupid things like that, even though I already have everything taken care of (I'm in classes currently), she still gets pissed off at stupid shit like that.

And on top of that, she seems to get pissed when I don't see her for a while, which can be anywhere from a week to a month, and when I do make the MISTAKE of seeing her, she still gets pissed at me, something like: "why don't you ever talk to me or come over? I guess you don't care about me anymore..." Again, she tries to play the guilt trip on me, and in turn, it just pisses me off.

Excuse me for having other things in life to do right now, I'm sorry that I can't take time out to take a half-hour drive (SUV = gas hog...) just to see you for a few minutes to give me a bunch of stupid shit...

Damn, it is getting to where I don't even want to talk to her anymore...

[AlexCraig]

Then don't. Simple as that.

[MetaZedlen]

Then don't. Simple as that.

Yea, but if I did that, then she would find a way to make my life miserable...

[AlexCraig]

You don't live with her anymore. You shouldn't have to put up with her crap anymore.

[Kylie]

I'm fortunate enough to have a decent mother, but my mom's mom is horrible. :lol: She's hateful, judgmental, close minded, etc. But she's family, so we put up with it. :-P Some people just get that way with age (although, I hear she's always been that way). How old is she, and how old are you?

[MetaZedlen]

I'm fortunate enough to have a decent mother, but my mom's mom is horrible. :lol: She's hateful, judgmental, close minded, etc. But she's family, so we put up with it. :-P Some people just get that way with age (although, I hear she's always been that way). How old is she, and how old are you?

She is in her late 40's, and I'm 18

I still think that she can't get over the fact that she can't control me anymore...

[Vanzazikon]

I see... Well I think you should just stop going over to her house. If she's just going to give you crap even though you were listenig to her about coming to visit her, then there's really no point in going at all unless you like the putdowns. There's no benefit in it; therefore, you should just ignore her.

You should also get over the thought of your mom finding a way to make your life miserable. If she does, your a regular, independent guy now, just call the cops. :D

[Kylie]

She is in her late 40's, and I'm 18

I still think that she can't get over the fact that she can't control me anymore...
Oh. Well, I guess my story doesn't apply so well. :(

[CelestialBlade]

Time for you to move on, seriously. Don't let her hold you back.

[Tessu]

Like everyone else says, I think you should keep your distance from her. But if I were you, I wouldn't just up and leave, I'd first tell her why and what you want her to change, give her that one more chance, and then just cut contact with her. You'd be amazed at how much peoples' attitudes toward people can change if you leave them like that.

See, the problem is she doesn't take you seriously. She knows you still love her because she's your mom and that's why you keep coming back to put up with her crap. But if you prove to her that you have SOME backbone, she's likely to back off a little and be more mature about it.

[Outrider]

I mean, Zedlen, I don't think I've read anything about you and your mom before, but from this post she seems like a regular nagging mother to me. It seems like even though she gives you a lot of trouble, she misses you in some way (even if it's just because she has nobody to talk to anymore.) I can't begin to imagine how tough it must be for parents to deal with their kids leaving, even if they didn't have the best relationship. Give her a break and try not to let it get to you and just humor her at the very least. A little bit of effort could go a long way to making her feel better about things.

[MetaZedlen]

Outrider, let me give a little history lesson, and you will see why I have such problems with her...

1. Halfway through senior year, I got a bad report card (that was usually like me), but the grade in ONE class was a D. Now not only does she flip out, but she dares to call me a "fucking idiot" and "you are not going to graduate with those grades." Now I do get that grade fixed by the end of the semester (B I think), but she still is in a bad mood about that...

2. Our commencement practice and award ceremony rears their ugly faces, and it is all going good through the ceremony, until some of my friends get called for a scholarship, and I have it also, BUT I didn't get called...
Now I am already steamed (being that she was giving me shit about being home to dress nicely for this occasion, but I was at a buddy's house for the day, but she kept getting on my ass to get my shit together, which was about 7 phone calls in a 10 minute time period...) and I told my mom about not getting called for the award, but she just told me to quit being such a baby about it... and that I looked like shit because I wasn't home long enough to get ready, when there really was NOTHING wrong with what I was wearing because I had my cap and gown on over the nice clothes...
BUT that's not the end of it, as we are going home, she is still on my ass about stupid shit, but now things are even worse, she is pissed off at ME for her not grabbing her fucking CAMERA, when she was home for the longest time to grab it...
After the whole thing, I finally tell her to shut up and leave me alone about all of the stupid shit, because I am a little stressed at this time, being that I am a little on edge about the real commencment, but she makes me the bad guy when in reality most of the shit that started was through her...
Now, I am at home pissed off more than you can imagine, and I am in my room, but things STILL didn't end there... I called my dad and told him to come pick me up because of the shit that went down, and he was coming to get me, but I made the mistake of telling my mom about it...
She gets pissed at me again, telling me that everything that went wrong was MY fault, and do you know what the last thing she said to me is? "Thanks for ruining my day, thanks a fucking lot!"

I think that sums it up, so yea, she is insane, and I am not trying to make myself look like a victim here either, this shit really happened, and I won't forgive her for it either.

[Outrider]

Yeah, it's clear that she's overreacting a bit, but at the same time, it seems like you're not being particularly easy to deal with either.

Like I said, there's really no way I can no what your situation is. Still, you'd be surprised at how different things can look if you look at it from the other person's point of view.

[MetaZedlen]

Dude, she does NO wrong in her eyes... everybody else is the idiot...

And most of her family knows what she is like too, not just me...

[lantis-zagato]

did you ever think that she just misses you? if she's not married or in a relationship she might just be lonely. no offense, but you dont seem like a good kid anyways. I have not lived with my rents for 6 years and they never pull that kinda stuff on me. sounds like you just hate her cuz she's your mom. not to mention its a parents responsibility to make sure their child does everything they can to make the best of themselves even if that means nagging about school, work, etc. It's just part of being a parent. also, taking classes in some less than worth while field of study doesn't mean she wont still be worried or nag. sounds to me like she just worries that you are not applying yourself, and considering your wasting your time ranting about this on a video game forum, it seems like she might have a valid point. then again, im responding to this post. btw i have graduated from college and have a full time career but still make time to enjoy myself through videogames and other hobbies. perhaps you just need to get your priorities straight.

[MetaZedlen]

did you ever think that she just misses you? if she's not married or in a relationship she might just be lonely. no offense, but you dont seem like a good kid anyways. I have not lived with my rents for 6 years and they never pull that kinda stuff on me. sounds like you just hate her cuz she's your mom. not to mention its a parents responsibility to make sure their child does everything they can to make the best of themselves even if that means nagging about school, work, etc. It's just part of being a parent. also, taking classes in some less than worth while field of study doesn't mean she wont still be worried or nag. sounds to me like she just worries that you are not applying yourself, and considering your wasting your time ranting about this on a video game forum, it seems like she might have a valid point. then again, im responding to this post. btw i have graduated from college and have a full time career but still make time to enjoy myself through videogames and other hobbies. perhaps you just need to get your priorities straight.

Did you read the OP? Because I stated that there have been bad things in the past, and I even though I caused a couple of the problems, SHE tends to overreact, over-exaggerate, jump to automatic FALSE conclusions, and anything else along those lines. Why? Because she is ONE-SIDED, she is the only one who is right in this world, she will NEVER listen to the other side of problems.

Now I KNOW that I am not perfect, but I know my priorities, but she just loves to cause misery to everybody for NO fucking reason. She has tried to date from time and time again, but she can't hold down steady friends, why? because she doesn't know how, and she takes that blame and anger out on ME or my sister.

Not all parents are perfect...

[Tyreek]

then again, im responding to this post.

This apparently... answers your question.

But enough of that, it's true that not all parents are great. Hell, my mom can be hard on me as well. But it's only because she loves me. Anyway, seeing as this is turning into a problem, that not only you, but your own relatives can see, I think it would be best if you set her straight. That, or live your dad for the time being until she cools off.

[Outrider]

I'm not sure anybody is claiming that she's perfect or in the right. We're just trying to point out that a lot of these problems probably stem from interpersonal issues she might have and that her children out-right abandoning her will do more harm than good.

[Tyreek]

True, but what alternative is there? The situation seems like a trap to be honest. If he leaves, then she'll be hurt, but he (and his sister) are pretty much getting a verbal beatdown from her everytime. That is not healthy for a family IMHO. I would really set her straight, but then again, that's me.

[UnderscoreX]

Parents can be cruel sometimes, they get off on it. That's why the magic 'M' word exists. (http://southpark.wikia.com/wiki/The_Wacky_Molestation_Adventure)

[Outrider]

True, but what alternative is there? The situation seems like a trap to be honest. If he leaves, then she'll be hurt, but he (and his sister) are pretty much getting a verbal beatdown from her everytime. That is not healthy for a family IMHO. I would really set her straight, but then again, that's me.

Well, my understanding is that the OP already left home. That being the case, I think it's fair to argue that he can dedicate some regular time.

I mean, again, I don't know the entire situation. I'm not there, I'm not involved, etc. But from everything I've been hearing, it seems like this is a issue that stems from both sides, and that the OP and his family have to work together on fixing it. I think that simply abandoning the situation will not only hurt the OP's mother more than anything, but it also wouldn't be too good for him in the long run unless he gives it a shot first.

[Tyreek]

That is true. Perhaps a compromise can be made. Again, I say to the OP, try to set her straight.... gently. ;)

[raikomaru40]

Why's everyone always complaining about there moms? Suck it up people! They're stoopid! Get over it!