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View Full Version : chuck norris jokes are still cool



puppet master
Mar 25, 2009, 02:36 PM
chuck norris still owns and i think we all need to take some time out of our day to make some awesome jokes about him, example: jesus can walk on water but chuck norris can swim through land, chuck norris visited the virgin islands, now there just called the islands. etc CHUCK NORRIS FTW!!!!!!

Vanzazikon
Mar 25, 2009, 02:39 PM
Inside Chuck Norris' beard is another FIST! When Chuck Norris does a push up, he doesn't push himself up, he pushes the world DOWN. The boogey man checks under the bed for CHUCK NORRIS.

puppet master
Mar 25, 2009, 02:43 PM
chuck norris had sex before his dad did.everytime you masterbate god kills a kitten, everytime chuck norris masterbates god kills a lion, chuck norris can gargle peanut butter

Vanzazikon
Mar 25, 2009, 02:51 PM
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than YOU.

Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn't Jesus’ birthday. Jesus was to scared to correct Chuck Norris and to this day December 25th is known as Jesus' birthday.

Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Chuck Norris. Chuck showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to eat himself, because it would be the less painful way to die.

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer and see John Cena.

puppet master
Mar 25, 2009, 02:56 PM
chuck norris tears can cure cancer, to bad he never cries.

chuck norris doesnt read books, he just stares at them till he gets the information we wants.

The Manhattan Project was not intended to create nuclear weapons, it was meant to recreate the destructive power in a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick. They didn't even come close.


Chuck Norris once broke the land speed record on a bicycle that was missing its chain and the back tire

beatrixkiddo
Mar 25, 2009, 02:57 PM
They are?


Sure had me fooled...

puppet master
Mar 25, 2009, 02:59 PM
i hope you die from a round house kick related death non chuck norris believer

Vanzazikon
Mar 25, 2009, 03:00 PM
Cool wouldn't be the word for it. They're just so dumb it's funny.

When Chuck Norris’s wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, “Don’t worry about it honey,” and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, “Never question Chuck Norris.”

Tessu
Mar 25, 2009, 04:53 PM
lmao thx 4 this thred i practilcy shit th bed

SabZero
Mar 25, 2009, 05:42 PM
I was going to post "I hope you meant Chick Norris is cool" and I saw you actually did. Carry on.

Nitro Vordex
Mar 25, 2009, 05:45 PM
Chuck Norris jokes are so old, they babysat Jesus.

AKA They're dumb now, stoppit.

W0LB0T
Mar 25, 2009, 10:36 PM
http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/1/1a/Ye0ldeMeme.JPG


http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/a/ae/Old-macro.jpg
(http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php/Old_meme)

(http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php/Old_meme)

Chuck_Norris
Mar 25, 2009, 11:00 PM
Chuck Norris put the "Laughter" in "Slaughter"

Vanzazikon
Mar 25, 2009, 11:15 PM
Chuck Norris jokes are so old, they babysat Jesus.

AKA They're dumb now, stoppit.Oh come on now, can we not have a good laugh about the good ol' days. :wacko:

astuarlen
Mar 25, 2009, 11:16 PM
Chuck Norris put the "Laughter" in "Slaughter"

Slafter? Man, I really need to beef up my vocab skills. *hits the Oxford English Dictionary*


Anyway, I totally agree that Chuck Norris jokes are still cool for all values of "cool" = "corpse cold", "dead and his spirit fled", "pale, chilly, bloodless", "past their prime", et cetera.

What I'd really like to know is if making jokes about expired jokes is still cool. I'm hoping it is (for all values of "cool" = "like ice cream").

Vanzazikon
Mar 25, 2009, 11:37 PM
Anyway, I totally agree that Chuck Norris jokes are still cool for all values of "cool" = "corpse cold", "dead and his spirit fled", "pale, chilly, bloodless", "past their prime", et cetera.

What I'd really like to know is if making jokes about expired jokes is still cool. I'm hoping it is (for all values of "cool" = "like ice cream").Jokes aren't supposed to be "cool". They're supposed to be funny.

W0LB0T
Mar 25, 2009, 11:45 PM
and their not funny either

Vanzazikon
Mar 25, 2009, 11:55 PM
After long, repetitive days of studying, they pretty much provided the entertainment I needed during my break. I snickered a bit here and there.

puppet master
Mar 26, 2009, 09:24 AM
what have you people done to my thread! there is no debateing if chuck norris is cool. i hope you ALL die from a round house kick to the face!!!

W0LB0T
Mar 26, 2009, 09:38 AM
You Posted in FKL. thats what happened

puppet master
Mar 26, 2009, 09:53 AM
very true , now i see whats going on. THAKS FOR THE F***ING INFO! gtfo chuck norris hater

raikomaru40
Mar 26, 2009, 10:24 AM
what have you people done to my thread! there is no debateing if chuck norris is cool. i hope you ALL die from a round house kick to the face!!!

FKL = guaranteed thread derail after the 2nd or 3rd page

W0LB0T
Mar 26, 2009, 10:38 AM
very true , now i see whats going on. THAKS FOR THE F***ING INFO! gtfo chuck norris hater
http://i126.photobucket.com/albums/p106/W0LB0T/12hourrushticket.jpg
looking for one of these?

raikomaru40
Mar 26, 2009, 10:43 AM
http://youarehere.thehouse.org/arrow/arrow-trans128x128.png
http://www.insidesocal.com/babbleon/RUSH%20CONCERT.JPG

SpikeOtacon
Mar 26, 2009, 11:55 AM
http://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq60/mcmanmeat/Left4Bread/neil_smile_sabian2fc0a50408d1453-1.jpg

raikomaru40
Mar 26, 2009, 01:08 PM
http://www.frontrowking.com/images/Rush2.jpg

Also, Chuck Norris won a staring contest against Medusa. :wacko:

astuarlen
Mar 26, 2009, 03:30 PM
Chuck Norris is so ugly, when he walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras.



There is this Chuck Norris, right, and he walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says "Can I have a large Gin and
. . .
. . .
. . .
Tonic Please?" The Barman replies "Yeah sure, but what's with the big pause?"

The Chuck Norris holds up his paws and says "I'm a Chuck Norris!!"



What do you get if you divide the cirucmference of a Chuck Norris by its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi!



Shall I keep going?