I'm annoyed.

[Wyndham]

My friend Robin called me yesterday. her (now ex) fiancee beat her, and broke her arm really bad. She needs surgery today. She fled a restraining order, and I'm glad she did. So I bought her an Ugly Doll. I'm worried she may lose the use of her arm. >_<

[SabZero]

Ah crap, sorry to hear this. Make sure everyone around her knows how he looks, and everyone around him knows what he did. Isolation is the worst about abusive relationships.

Besides the restraining order, I hope he will face charges aswell. Maybe he'll go to jail already.

[Inazuma]

Wow, that sucks. I hope he goes to jail too. So what was the story leading up to this? I doubt he just randomly went up to her and started beating her. Did he have a history of hitting her before the arm breaking incident?

[Cracka_J]

Yeah, I know personally the worst I've ever done was grab my girls arm tightly, and it took me a days worth the annoyance and indecisiveness to get me that level. I immediately let go and apologized, because I don't do that shit normally, and explained that I was rather stressed and annoyed with her all day, but didn't say anything about it.

It's weird because no matter how you try to constrain your physical self, if you keep shit bottled and don't say anything, emotions can manifest physically without you having control over it. Now I'm not saying you're not responsible for it happening, because I damn well was. All I'm saying is it's much better to let it out verbally. People can talk things over and at least attempt change if there's a problem. Once you take things physical, there's no going back.

[SabZero]

Cracka_J - get some anger management skills. It's never Ok to attack someone (verbally or physically), unless in self defense (the my-life-is-in-danger-self-defense kind, not I-want-to-be-right-in-a-fight kind).

Also the bottled-up comment means you're probably not dealing with stuff. Get some counsel, man. :)

Oh and, most physical abusers start out by emotionally and verbally abusing their victim. It's a red flag, if anything.

Arguments shouldn't be screaming matches.

[Cracka_J]

That was quite a few years ago. I don't think you realize (or I explained) exactly how remorseful I was about the situation, so don't be so quick to pass judgment. It has never happened again, nor will it.

And I'm not talking about verbally attacking someone, but in my case, if I would have just told her that I was extremely aggravated or talked about what I was feeling instead of keeping it to myself, the situation could have been averted. You can express how your feeling to someone calmly and rationally, even if you're telling them you hate their guts and never want to see them again.

Everyone has their breaking point, maybe you haven't been in a situation yet where you've had yours tested with someone you care about. I think I handled myself fairly well being the first time it ever had happened. I learned not to ever let things get to that point again, and my answer is now communication instead of bottling. Wait until you're in the same situation, you may not be as strong as you think.

[Leviathan]

I hope she's doing better. I don't think she'll lose use of her arm though. As long as they set the cast in after surgery it should be okay.

But this all depends on how he broke her arm.

[McLaughlin]

If broken bones were all it takes to lose the use of a limb I'd be a quadriplegic by now.

I'd be pressing charges though, not just a restraining order.

[Tyreek]

I agree. Charges should be pressed. there's no excuse for breaking someone's arm out of anger.

[Chuck_Norris]

Indeed. Slap a lawsuit on that asshole.

[SStrikerR]

It always amazes me that people do this kind of shit.
How do people end up like this?
Day 1- I love you. Marry me?
Day 2- Shut up, btich.
Day 3- *abuse*
Day 4- Lawsuit.

What the hell, world?

[Kylie]

You should be more than annoyed, dear. :/ That's terrible, and good for her for filing a restraining order. She should also file charges as other posters have suggested. I don't care what his reasons were.

[Nitro Vordex]

He better not go to sleep tonight.

[Wyndham]

He's in prison. I'm really hoping it'll be for a long time.

[SStrikerR]

He's in prison.
Remind him to not dro---*smacks self*
Yeah, I agree.
I really need to watch dr. phil or something, I want to know why people do this kind of stuff?
What goes on that pushes someone from point A to point B?

[Chuck_Norris]

He's in prison. I'm really hoping it'll be for a long time.

*Ahem*
http://img157.imageshack.us/img157/8840/asplannedrd3.jpg

[SabZero]

That was quite a few years ago. I don't think you realize (or I explained) exactly how remorseful I was about the situation, so don't be so quick to pass judgment. It has never happened again, nor will it.

I learned not to ever let things get to that point again, and my answer is now communication instead of bottling. Wait until you're in the same situation, you may not be as strong as you think.

Oh hey, I didn't write that in judgement. Sometimes people just don't realize what they're really doing.

And I have a short temper or rage sometimes, I take it out on inanimate objects >_>

Peace, bro. ^^

[Rasputin]

Chances are if the relationship blew up that badly then it wasn't a good relationship in the first place. She should've seen something like this coming and fucking moved out the way.

[Kent]

It always amazes me that people do this kind of shit.
How do people end up like this?
Day 1- I love you. Marry me?
Day 2- Shut up, btich.
Day 3- *abuse*
Day 4- Lawsuit.

What the hell, world?
Bad decisions are typically multiplied by how easily judgment can be clouded by people who think they have feelings for someone.

Unfortunately however, it happens a lot by people who just really want attention - the attention of anyone who will give it to them, even if they are a psychopath. It's really quite an interesting phenomena, that I've seen happen many times; girl is lonely, wants attention, meets up with a "bad boy" type person, and thinks that she's happy... And sooner or later, things just go straight to hell, in a torrent of pregnancies, abuse, and miscarriages.

You have to wonder what exactly is going through the heads of people who get involved with the type of person who can easily snap into abusing someone else. Do they think they can fix the person? Do they think that it's "just a phase," or "just an act?" Do they not realize that aggressive personality traits and volatility are actually bad things when looking for a partner?

[SabZero]

Chances are if the relationship blew up that badly then it wasn't a good relationship in the first place. She should've seen something like this coming and fucking moved out the way.

Unfortunately, that's not how it works. The human psyche is a complicated thing. :-?

[Volcompat321]

if it happened to my friend, or even worse for the guy, if it happened to my sisters, i would kill the mother fucker. in fact, i would slowly beat the shit out of him and make him beg for her forgivness. i am a very protective person, and when it comes to guys hitting women, specially my sisters, i will kill a dude. I've beaten the shit out of guys my sisters have gone out with for less then a broken arm. (like when my little sisters bf got her pregnant at 15 years old, yea i fucked him up.) Believe me, you or that woman friends brother(if she has any) should take it out on his face.

[Wyndham]

I really hate the guy. He did horrible things, and none of my friends should have to suffer that much emotionally and physically.

[CelestialBlade]

I really hate the guy. He did horrible things, and none of my friends should have to suffer that much emotionally and physically.
Nobody should ever have to endure this.

Some people are just sub-human, I suppose.

[Volcompat321]

re-read what i wrote. I would have slowly hurt him making he wish'd he was dead. I'm sorry if im just fuling the anger here, but its what i would have done. I grew up with women, my whole life, and if its one thing they tought me between picking on me and whatnot, its how to respect a woman. Wether they hit you or not, you NEVER hit them back. MOST NOT ALL women are physically "weaker" (unable to take a beating like men,. then again, theres women that can take a bigger beatin than men lol) than us men, so to hit a women is to be a bitch in my eyes. Kick his ass mentally if you have to. JUST NEVER let it happen again, or someone didnt teach him his place.


on a side note, yay this was my 1,100 post!

[furrypaws]

^That's sort of sexist. Picking on more fragile women is the same to me as picking on fragile men. And likewise, even though it doesn't happen, a six foot seven three hundred pound woman who breaks her husband's arm would most likely be punished less than if the roles were reversed (weight/heights reversed).

Don't just respect women; respect everyone.

[Wyndham]

^That's sort of sexist. Picking on more fragile women is the same to me as picking on fragile men. And likewise, even though it doesn't happen, a six foot seven three hundred pound woman who breaks her husband's arm would most likely be punished less than if the roles were reversed (weight/heights reversed).

Don't just respect women; respect everyone.

I very much agree with this. I myself am not the strongest, most assertive man. So I can understand.

[Firocket1690]

Chivalry is insulting.
Violence is stupid.

[jShazBot]

Meh...

[Wyndham]

Chivalry is insulting.
Violence is stupid.

I don't really do chivalry. I open doors and stuff for everyone, male or female. I pretty often pay the tip myself.

[Delete]

if it happened to my friend, or even worse for the guy, if it happened to my sisters, i would kill the mother fucker. in fact, i would slowly beat the shit out of him and make him beg for her forgivness. i am a very protective person, and when it comes to guys hitting women, specially my sisters, i will kill a dude. I've beaten the shit out of guys my sisters have gone out with for less then a broken arm. (like when my little sisters bf got her pregnant at 15 years old, yea i fucked him up.) Believe me, you or that woman friends brother(if she has any) should take it out on his face.

I agree with Volcompat.
I have not been in a fight for at least 9 years, but if someone messed with my girl, yes i would hurt them. If I seen someone messing with a girl, I'd try and kick there butt too.

[Volcompat321]

I don't really do chivalry. I open doors and stuff for everyone, male or female. I pretty often pay the tip myself.

I'm also one to hold the door for men, and woman. I'm not being sexist, it's just the way I grew up. It's not exactly a bad way to b brought up either. I do respect everyone, til they fuck with me, my family, or friends. Then "it's on like donkey king"
as a friend would say. I like to fight, and be aggressive, I'm not one to pick a fight on a weak little dude, but if I see some fucked up shit anywhere I sure as hell say something.

I'm a fighter, not a lover.


I agree with Volcompat.
I have not been in a fight for at least 9 years, but if someone messed with my girl, yes i would hurt them. If I seen someone messing with a girl, I'd try and kick there butt too.

thank you, you don't mess with my friends, but if you mess with my family, its over. I will kill a dude, if he ever hits any of my sisters, or mom.