HoliCYOA - In Widescreen! (NSF 56K)

[SpikeOtacon]

http://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq60/mcmanmeat/HolidayCYOA/start1.jpg

You are PLAYER, you are UNDEFINED, a BLANK SLATE.

You are in a STRANGE ROOM, with an UNUSUAL TREE and FESTIVE BOXES.

[Tessu]

Smash one of the boxes open

[Boogie Troll]

Check what's on the other side of the room.

[Tact]

Sit in the corner. :wacko:

[TalHex]

cry in said corner

[Nitro Vordex]

Sit in the corner. :wacko:


cry in said corner
It's a CYOA, not your life story.

Use TREE with UNDEFINED STATE.

[SpikeOtacon]

Check what's on the other side of the room.

>CHECK the other side of the ROOM

You turn the camera to the other side of the room

http://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq60/mcmanmeat/HolidayCYOA/otherside1st.jpg

It appears to be a bedroom in another dimension.

[astuarlen]

Is that tree made out of bottles? Wack.

Break one of the UNUSUAL TREE bottles. Write on your BLANK SLATE with a shard of green glass. Massive hemorrhaging. Profit.

Argh, my plan has been foiled!
Investigate the suspicious, translucent slashes across your field of vision.

[Boogie Troll]

Take the pillow and the toy RV.

[Tessu]

Inspect black slashes.

[SpikeOtacon]

Take the pillow and the toy RV.

You attempt to reach forth and take the PILLOW and the TOY RV, however you cannot.



Investigate the suspicious, translucent slashes across your field of vision.

http://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq60/mcmanmeat/HolidayCYOA/otherside1st.jpg

Upon inspection, you discover that you were stopped by an INTERDIMENSIONAL SHEET OF INDESTRUCTABLE GLASS.

[Boogie Troll]

I don't think it's indestructable. Try smashing it with the tree a few times.

[Tessu]

Go back to SMASHING one of the BOXES.

[SpikeOtacon]

I don't think it's indestructable. Try smashing it with the tree a few times.

>You move over to the TREE

http://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq60/mcmanmeat/HolidayCYOA/start2.jpg

>You attempt to MOVE the UNUSUAL TREE but there are FESTIVE BOXES that are preventing you from MOVING the UNUSUAL TREE.


Go back to SMASHING one of the BOXES.

http://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq60/mcmanmeat/HolidayCYOA/start2.jpg

>Are you crazy? There could be GOOD SHIT in these FESTIVE BOXES!

[Boogie Troll]

Don't be a pussy.

[Nitro Vordex]

Take a bottle off of the tree and get ye drink.

[SpikeOtacon]

Take a bottle off of the tree and get ye drink.

>You REMOVE a BEER BOTTLE from the UNUSUAL TREE.
>You now have BEER BOTTLE in your INVENTORY.

http://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq60/mcmanmeat/HolidayCYOA/start3.jpg

>You USE the BEER BOTTLE.

http://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq60/mcmanmeat/HolidayCYOA/start4.jpg

>The BEER BOTTLE was filled with a MAGICAL GERMAN BEER. It tastes like shit.

http://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq60/mcmanmeat/HolidayCYOA/start5.jpg

>You are now INEBRIATED. You now have an EMPTY BEER BOTTLE in your INVENTORY.

[Boogie Troll]

Check if the magical beer has given you any magical abilities. And while you're at it, take another bottle or two. It could come in handy for fighting off hobos.

[Nitro Vordex]

Afterwards, break one of the bottles (CAREFULLY) and rip open a present.

[Leviathan]

Drink more beer.

Get to the super inebriated state.

[HAYABUSA-FMW-]

Jump in the RV of the other room, zoom zoom (in the boom boom).

If you still can't, pretend. In your state of being a working passthru bad juju liver, can you even tell the diff?

-
Inventory bottle looks like a... grenade.

[SpikeOtacon]

If you still can't, pretend. In your state of being a working passthru bad juju liver, can you even tell the diff?


>You are obviously more FUNKED UP than you first realized.
>You are now GEORGE CLINTON.

http://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq60/mcmanmeat/HolidayCYOA/start6.jpg

>Things are about to get FUNKY.

[Nitro Vordex]

GET YE BASS.

[HAYABUSA-FMW-]

DAT BOOTY BASS.
Worldwide tour endgame.

Start your funkometer to search and gain party members.

[SpikeOtacon]

GET YE BASS.

http://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq60/mcmanmeat/HolidayCYOA/start7.jpg

>You do not have a BASS in your INVENTORY.

[Nitro Vordex]

Open a present and hope for a bass.

[HAYABUSA-FMW-]

The BIG RED one.

The Big BLUE one?!

[Boogie Troll]

Open all of the presents.

[SpikeOtacon]

Open a present and hope for a bass.

http://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq60/mcmanmeat/HolidayCYOA/start6.jpg

There are a LOT of FUNKY-FESTIVE PACKAGES to choose from, you have a hard time picking just ONE.

[Nitro Vordex]

Pick the longest one and OPEN it.

[Tessu]

Pick the FUNKIEST one by way of EENIE MEENIE MINEY MOE.

[Boogie Troll]

OPEN ALL OF THEM.

[HAYABUSA-FMW-]

Green one closest to camera view, because it is not near other people/lines/red one has a can on top. Blue one could certifiably take off your leg.


Think of the
\_______ \
Artistic ramifications people!

[HeartBreak301]

EAT the BEER BOTTLE.

[HAYABUSA-FMW-]

EAT the BEER BOTTLE.
I dunno, is he that FUNKED UP?!

[HeartBreak301]

DRINK more BEER to become more FUNKED UP.

[HAYABUSA-FMW-]

But when that FUNK hits the FAN...

[SpikeOtacon]

Pick the FUNKIEST one by way of EENIE MEENIE MINEY MOE.

>You CONCENTRATE on the FUNKY-FRESH-FESTIVE PACKAGES.
>You begin to FUNK OUT and SING a little DIDDY in an effort to pick a FUNKY-FRESH-FESTIVE PACKAGE to OPEN.

http://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq60/mcmanmeat/HolidayCYOA/start8.jpg

>Eenie, Meenie, Miney, Mo',
>Funk 'em, Jive 'em, by they toe!
>If they holla, holla "yo!"
>Eenie, Meenie, Miney, Mo'!

>You have chosen the FUNKILICIOUS RED FUNKY-FRESHIVE PACKAGE.

http://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq60/mcmanmeat/HolidayCYOA/start9.jpg

>You OPEN the FUNKILICIOUS RED FUNKY-FRESHIVE PACKAGE.

http://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq60/mcmanmeat/HolidayCYOA/start10.jpg

>The FUNKILICIOUS RED FUNKY-FRESHIVE PACKAGE contained a MASSIVE BRICK OF FRUITCAKE.

[Nitro Vordex]

Smash the "indestructible" glass with the fruitcake.

Fruitcake> all.

[HAYABUSA-FMW-]

MOTHA-FUNKER

[Boogie Troll]

Melt the glass with the sheer DISGUSTING of fruitcake.

[HAYABUSA-FMW-]

Formulate a theory on standing atop the fruitcake to reach the tree topping star.

[Tessu]

Formulate a theory on standing atop the fruitcake to reach the tree topping star.

Seconded

[Boogie Troll]

That could be fatal at this level of intoxication.

[SpikeOtacon]

Smash the "indestructible" glass with the fruitcake.

Fruitcake> all.

>You THROW the MASSIVE BRICK OF FUNKCAKE at the INTERDIMENSIONAL SHEET OF INDESTRUCTIBLE GLASS

http://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq60/mcmanmeat/HolidayCYOA/start11.jpg

>However...

>You have been BLOCKED and DE-FUNKIFIED by NU-METAL STAR DAVID DRAIMAN and his band's hit single INDESTRUCTIBLE.

http://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq60/mcmanmeat/HolidayCYOA/start12.jpg

[HAYABUSA-FMW-]

Damn, now you'll never recruit yellow beanie-man, C-H3AT-PO

To join your FUNK Phenomenon.

[Boogie Troll]

Oh dear.

Drink until the music stops.

[RagRappyBoy]

I liiiiiive...

...Agaaaaaaain.

*Ahem* drink another couple beers to numb yourself, then throw yourself through the window and nu-metal star.

[SpikeOtacon]

I liiiiiive...

...Agaaaaaaain.

*Ahem* drink another couple beers to numb yourself, then throw yourself through the window and nu-metal star.

http://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq60/mcmanmeat/HolidayCYOA/start13.jpg

>You decide that you need to FUNKIFY yourself a little more.
>You grab a few more MAGICAL GERMAN BEERS in strategic places so that the tree does not COLLAPSE like JENGA.

http://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq60/mcmanmeat/HolidayCYOA/start14.jpg

>You consume several more of the MAGICAL GERMAN BEERS. They taste funnier than they did before. Not quite as FUNKY...

http://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq60/mcmanmeat/HolidayCYOA/start15.jpg

>You suddenly feel very funny. You have now become FRED DURST of LIMP BIZKIT fame. You are no longer FUNKY but WHITEY.

http://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq60/mcmanmeat/HolidayCYOA/start16.jpg

>You are also even FURTHER INEBRIATED.
>You may not take any further actions this turn.

[Nitro Vordex]

Drink more.

Right fucking now.

[Tessu]

>Surf a piece of plywood up Trent Reznor's ass

[HAYABUSA-FMW-]

Like a chump... hey. :disapprove:

[RagRappyBoy]

Fred Durst? The obvious solution to this puzzle, like so many before it, is suicide.

Quickly, before you infect others.

[astuarlen]

So off-brand German beer gives you filtervision? That's a cruel joke. I'm guessing moonshine would zap you with a nasty lens flare and some gaussian blur.

[spoiler-box]Personally, I kind of like fruitcake, but whatever. Haters gotta hate.[/spoiler-box]

Try eating some of that fruitcake. Funkitize me, Captain!

[RagRappyBoy]

So off-brand German beer gives you filtervision? That's a cruel joke. I'm guessing moonshine would zap you with a nasty lens flare and some gaussian blur.!
Only one way to find out.

[HAYABUSA-FMW-]

So off-brand German beer gives you filtervision? That's a cruel joke.

Layer cakes.

Well, zooming in also makes it more red.

I was thinking that screen meant a deeper FUNKED up, but then compared on re-entry/exit zoom in mode it was not. Still this CYOA has lesser used/known features and is quite deep, no sheep.
-
Get that FUNK back to overloaded levels and get to finally fill your grenadier looking empty bottles with something.

Only me, but a cel shaded Cell-Phonular to call your friend whom you only think is Bootsy Collins for your Booty Bass bandmate, would be Holiday Magic.

[SpikeOtacon]

>Surf a piece of plywood up Trent Reznor's ass

>We cannot show that due to censorship. That content was banned in Austrailia and as such, cannot be included here because of W0LB0T's home country's funny gaming laws.


Drink more.

Right fucking now.

>You drink a few more MAGIC GERMAN BEERS.
>PLAYER FRED DURST's STATUS changes to PASSED THE FUNK OUT.

http://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq60/mcmanmeat/HolidayCYOA/start17.jpg

>You begin to slip away into unconsciousness.
>PLAYER FRED DURST will be unavailable for play for several turns.

>PLAYER 2 BEGINS.

http://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq60/mcmanmeat/HolidayCYOA/ian1.jpg

>You are now NAI_CALUS. You are a PANSY ELF. You believe yourself to have DICE POWERS. You are in the middle of a GODDAMN FOREST.

[Nitro Vordex]

Run for President of the Forest.

[SpikeOtacon]

Run for President of the Forest.

http://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq60/mcmanmeat/HolidayCYOA/ian1.jpg

>You are ALONE in the GODDAMN FOREST.

[Tessu]

Attack a nearby TREE.

[Boogie Troll]

Suicide.

[Nitro Vordex]

I run.

I run so far away.

[SpikeOtacon]

Attack a nearby TREE.

http://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq60/mcmanmeat/HolidayCYOA/ian1.jpg

>You would never, ever, EVER dare harm a TREE. They are SACRED and deserve nothing but LOVE.

[Tessu]

Make LOVE to a nearby SACRED TREE.

[Nitro Vordex]

I run.

I run so far away.
FOCL.

[HAYABUSA-FMW-]

Take the road less traveled.

And that has made all the differentials.

-

Walk into the MIST & FOG.

[SpikeOtacon]

Take the road less traveled.

And that has made all the differentials.

-

Walk into the MIST & FOG.

http://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq60/mcmanmeat/HolidayCYOA/ian1.jpg

>You decide to WALK towards the MYSTERIOUS FOG

http://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq60/mcmanmeat/HolidayCYOA/ian2.jpg

>However

http://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq60/mcmanmeat/HolidayCYOA/ian3.jpg

>You must now LOSE A TURN. We will RETURN to PLAYER FRED DURST for ONE TURN.

http://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq60/mcmanmeat/HolidayCYOA/start17.jpg

>You are FASSED THE PUNK OUT still.

[Nitro Vordex]

Insist that your drunken haze is important, dammit.

[SpikeOtacon]

Insist that your drunken haze is important, dammit.

http://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq60/mcmanmeat/HolidayCYOA/start17.jpg

>You cannot perform this ACTION because you are PASSED DA CRUNK OUT
>PLAYER FRED DURST'S TURN is now OVER because he is unable to perform any ACTIONS.

>PLAYER NAI_CALUS returns from being lost in the fog.

http://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq60/mcmanmeat/HolidayCYOA/ian2.jpg

http://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq60/mcmanmeat/HolidayCYOA/ian1.jpg

>You are now in the EXACT SAME PLACE you were BEFORE.

[Nitro Vordex]

Yell "ARE YOU SERIOUS?" in the GODDAMN FOREST.

[Tessu]

Use your alleged DICE POWERS to RELOCATE to a BETTER FOREST.

[HAYABUSA-FMW-]

>You would never, ever, EVER dare harm a TREE. They are SACRED and deserve nothing but LOVE.
But the most SACRED sticks are great for walking, pimping, pimp-walking, and magic power boosts.

RE-ROLL UNLAWFUL DEMI-EVIL ?!

[RagRappyBoy]

Follow the path in the screen's direction.

[SpikeOtacon]

Use your alleged DICE POWERS to RELOCATE to a BETTER FOREST.

http://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq60/mcmanmeat/HolidayCYOA/ian1.jpg

>You decide that this GODDAMN FOREST is not fun, and you should relocate.
>Thankfully you have an item that may be of use to you.
>You access your IANVENTORY

http://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq60/mcmanmeat/HolidayCYOA/ian4.jpg

>You reach into your DICE SATCHEL and retrieve a D20.

http://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq60/mcmanmeat/HolidayCYOA/ian5.jpg

>You do not recognize this D20, as it is covered in STRANGE AND UNUSUAL RUNES that are not even of the MOON variety.
>You ROLL the RUNIC DIE

http://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq60/mcmanmeat/HolidayCYOA/ian6.jpg

>It lands on a STRANGE RUNE of which you are unable to COMPREHEND because WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SQUIGGLE?
>You stand confused for a few seconds.

http://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq60/mcmanmeat/HolidayCYOA/ian7.jpg

>Wait...

http://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq60/mcmanmeat/HolidayCYOA/ianflare.jpg

>OH GOD WHAT

http://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq60/mcmanmeat/HolidayCYOA/ian8.jpg

>You have been TELEPORTED out of the GODDAMN FOREST and into MYSTERY MURK FOREST.


Yell "ARE YOU SERIOUS?" in the GODDAMN FOREST.

>This now seems like a much more appropriate time to use this action.

http://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq60/mcmanmeat/HolidayCYOA/ian9.jpg

[Nitro Vordex]

Roll that dice out yo' bidnuss.

[HAYABUSA-FMW-]

Those uprooted trees with vein growth and blurry blobs of yellow might be Magic/PIMP++

Try to fight them with some sort of unused PANSY ELF GOD POWERS.

[RagRappyBoy]

Attempt to discover the mystery of the Mystery Murk Swamp!

[Boogie Troll]

Roll your dice to become someone cooler.

[HAYABUSA-FMW-]

Drink the water because it looks like Ecto-cooler.
http://i846.photobucket.com/albums/ab30/16bitninja/ecto_cooler.jpg

[Nai_Calus]

Try to turn the murk forest into a pretty happy one with the power of love and being a pansy fucking elf.

[HAYABUSA-FMW-]

Try to turn the murk forest into a pretty happy one with the power of love and being a pansy fucking elf.
P(F)ELFs 4 lyfe?

[SpikeOtacon]

Roll your dice to become someone cooler.

http://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq60/mcmanmeat/HolidayCYOA/ian8.jpg

>You are unable to perform any further magical actions for 4 turns.

[Tessu]

I said a BETTER FOREST. This FOREST sucks. Whatever.

Look around and see if there are any USABLE ITEMS in this SUCKY FOREST.

[Nitro Vordex]

Take the DIE and put it back in your IANVENTORY.

WALK WEST to try and find a village or something of some sort.

[Randomness]

Smash the not-trees because they are quire obviously not trees. Really.

[Weeaboolits]

Look for small animals to kill for exp.

[HeartBreak301]

Look for small animals to kill for exp.

I second this. Animals hurt trees, your pansy elfness must protect them.

[astuarlen]

Be confused because you have half a dozen nincompoops in your head all trying to tell you what to do.
First order of business, quoth one such nincompoop, get rid of that ridiculous Curlz font. Second order of business, stop drinking mysterious substances (this did not work out so well for the German beer of your peer). Third order of business, examine your surroundings.

[Boogie Troll]

examine your surroundings

Yeah.

[RagRappyBoy]

Be confused because you have half a dozen nincompoops in your head all trying to tell you what to do.
You don't know what's with you today, it is as though your BRAIN has been replaced with a GAGGLE OF RETARDS.

[Nai_Calus]

Get ye flask

[SpikeOtacon]

Take the DIE and put it back in your IANVENTORY.

WALK WEST to try and find a village or something of some sort.

>You put the CURSED RUNIC DIE into your IANVENTORY. It is so disgusting that it gets its own IANVENTORY slot.

http://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq60/mcmanmeat/HolidayCYOA/ian10.jpg

>You would WALK WEST, however you have no sense of DIRECTION and you have no COMPASS in your IANVENTORY.


I said a BETTER FOREST. This FOREST sucks. Whatever.

Look around and see if there are any USABLE ITEMS in this SUCKY FOREST.

http://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq60/mcmanmeat/HolidayCYOA/ian11.jpg

>You look around to discover that this place is a SHITHOLE and that there is nothing usable to your PANSY ELF ASS without MELTING YOU from the SHEER EVIL.


Smash the not-trees because they are quite obviously not trees. Really.

>As hard as you try to ration with yourself that they are not trees, the tree-like figures they are prevent you from taking any VIOLENT ACTIONS towards them.

http://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq60/mcmanmeat/HolidayCYOA/iancry.jpg


Look for small animals to kill for exp.

>You LOOK AROUND for a small CREATURE, and one approaches from the left of the screen.

http://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq60/mcmanmeat/HolidayCYOA/ian12.jpg

He does not appear to be the VIOLENT TYPE.

[Boogie Troll]

Ask it for directions on how to get out of this shithole.

[Tessu]

Ask it for directions on how to get out of this shithole.

ggggggg

[Randomness]

Ask it for directions on how to get out of this shithole.

This. If he resists, kill him with a die to the forehead.

[SpikeOtacon]

Ask it for directions on how to get out of this shithole.

>The SMALL CREATURE comes to a stop to inspect his MYSTERIOUS PAPER that you assume to be a MAP.

http://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq60/mcmanmeat/HolidayCYOA/ian13.jpg

>You CALLOUT to the SMALL CREATURE.

http://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq60/mcmanmeat/HolidayCYOA/ian14.jpg

>The SMALL CREATURE responds

http://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq60/mcmanmeat/HolidayCYOA/ian15.jpg

>You RESPOND to it's RESPONSE

http://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq60/mcmanmeat/HolidayCYOA/ian16.jpg

>It RESPONDS, but it appears OFFENDED.

http://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq60/mcmanmeat/HolidayCYOA/ian17.jpg


This. If he resists, kill him with a die to the forehead.

>You DECIDE this may be the best course of ACTION. The SMALL CREATURE appears to be full of 'TUDE.
>You OPEN your IANVENTORY

http://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq60/mcmanmeat/HolidayCYOA/ian18.jpg

>You select a MYSTERIOUS D20 from the DICE SATCHEL.

http://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq60/mcmanmeat/HolidayCYOA/ian19.jpg

>You THROW the MYSTERIOUS D20 at the SMALL CREATURE.

http://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq60/mcmanmeat/HolidayCYOA/ian20.jpg
http://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq60/mcmanmeat/HolidayCYOA/ian21.jpg
http://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq60/mcmanmeat/HolidayCYOA/ian22.jpg
http://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq60/mcmanmeat/HolidayCYOA/ian23.jpg
http://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq60/mcmanmeat/HolidayCYOA/ian23.jpg
http://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq60/mcmanmeat/HolidayCYOA/ian23.jpg
http://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq60/mcmanmeat/HolidayCYOA/ian24.jpg

>You add the IMPRISONMENT D20 to your IANVENTORY.

http://i433.photobucket.com/albums/qq60/mcmanmeat/HolidayCYOA/ian25.jpg

[astuarlen]

This. If he resists, kill him with a die to the forehead.

And if the NONVIOLENT TYPE CREATURE doesn't give you DIRECTIONS, after you've KILLED it WITH a "die, uncooperative FOREST denizen" TO the FOREHEAD, skin the LITTLE goober and USE ITS GREY HIDE as a cover-up (seriously PUT some freaking CLOTHES ON).


Hens and COCKS, SPIKE, why'd ya hafta GO AND post just then? Time to reconsider our PLANS.

Head right (apply directly to the right side of the picture).

[Tessu]

Check FONE BONE'S moves. Does it suck?

[Randomness]

If it knows Fly, get the hell out of there. Same for Teleport or Dig.

[RagRappyBoy]

Run like hell before the Great Dragon shows up. He's going to be none too keen on you, sir. Or madame. Or whatever.

[HeartBreak301]

Open your IANVENTORY and roll the CURSED RUNIC DIE for GREAT JUSTICE.

[Nai_Calus]

Get ye flask.

[Boogie Troll]

I think we need to check what else is inside that bag of dice.

[HAYABUSA-FMW-]

What's the official name?

SATCHEL right?

Stick HEAD in satchel whilst gripping the rope ties. Try not to pull tight with your HANDS despite your state of AFRAIDEYCATS.