The quest for chalk,

[Sayara]

My English teacher is an amazing man. Not only does he look like and speak like Dave Fritz, he often gets so sidetracked and says the most random things. This will be a collection of his many jumbled thoughts...

* Get a PHD in your girlfriend.

* Ladies; if your boyfriend does not know the color of your eyes, its over.

* All men are feminists... unless of course they're dating to harrass and abuse their girlfriend.
* You Love your mother right?

* I went to UMD, and i still see my 18 yr old self walk by... MY GOD WHAT A NERD.

* Don't ask/Don't tell has been going on for too long... speaking of which.."Gay hope is their fancy fed..."(Gray 41)

* Catholic churches would make excellent bowling alleys.

* We're not trying to be villians in a video game, so don't drop a nuclear bomb on us!

* "What men or gods are these? What Maidens loth?
What mad pursuit? what struggle to escape?
Whate pipes and timbrels? what wild ecstacy?" (Keats 7-10)
... WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON??

*Olmert: I had to pay $59 dollars for Henry the Fifth tickets... and it sucked! Why is it so expensive? This world has gone nuts!!!
student: Uh... season tickets for basketball are like 1200...
Olmert: ...Well thats ok...

*I watch the weather! well... Topper Shut...

*CHIZIC. Say Chezwick and I'll stab you.

*You want a silent woman? Slice her head off.

*They pee'd in buckets at night and they had a servant get take them away... Its good to have servants!!

*If the wine is good, it don't need no fucking bush!

*I'm not some creepy english professor who tries to make creepy innuendos... Oh Olmert you raunchy bastard!

*Isn't this fun?? Look how excited the people in the back are to read this... you beady eyed bastards i've seen you before!

*Young Woman are often painted with a furry little animal.... ... ... like a squirrel or a dog.

*Lower class people got goute too... but who gives a fuck about them!?

*She left her underwear there! And the dog is sniffing it!! Thats certainly no hat...Dogs don't smell hats...unless they like the smell of Garnias Fructise."

"MY 11 YR OLD SON IS A SEX FIEND!"

[HAYABUSA-FMW-]

Sounds like this guy instead of continuing research to stay with a University, studies stand up comedy. Doctorate in Joke-a-labotomies.

Chamberpot jokes!



My English 1 & 2 teach was just a John Steinbeck researcher, movie archive findings, first review guy.

Astronomy and Economy teachers were good for the lines, random thoughts. - "MSN IExplorer just got tabs? I've been using those since the 80's!"

[Sayara]

* Wouldn't you want a man pissing on the wall as a painting?

* It's like the Duke and Maryland game...but you're watching a game not an excu- actually i guess you did.

* Theres over 2000 Coffeehouses... its the starbucks revolution!

* :"Ideas of things controled by how the brain works." *kicks stone* "I refute it thus", its not an idea and i hurt my toe so fuck you.

* IF YOU DON'T KNOW YOUR TA's NAME TEAR UP YOUR TEST AND LEAVE. YOU'RE DONE.

[HAYABUSA-FMW-]

* IF YOU DON'T KNOW YOUR TA's NAME TEAR UP YOUR TEST AND LEAVE. YOU'RE DONE.
Geography teach beard dude who remembers my name, talked about his horror stories with grudge heavy/mark down power trip TA's in his school days. But this is your prof. empowering his TA more with getting respect, so that's cool.

[Sayara]

* Poetry isn't Lifetime Television!.... It isn't as bad."

* If you do that, you'll get a FUCKING A!

* No Two people can love each other equally; you just have to put up with it...
GOD EVEN DOES!

* Those peasents turned off their routers, WHAT THE FUCK?! They trying to save electricity!?

* YOu don't want them to go out and say "Visage" (purposely said wrong) incorrectly.... they could get punched!

* Oh Fuck me! I'm gonna die!

[HAYABUSA-FMW-]

I was a chalk + board using teacher for our second PSA.

After being the conductor of our first PSA.

Because I was dressed up too nice/old man. ;o

[Sayara]

*4th grade fart jokes...like most films... directed by 4th graders

*learning? You kidding? You fucking kidding?? .... thats what Q'outh means.

*Did you read Winnie the Pooh? You should thank your parents for that, thats why you're English majors...

*Theres a PLAQUE of me! And I'm handsome!

*They acted like absurd dicks!

*The countries too fucking dumb to understand it.

*It drove people insane... fucking stop it!

*Instead of drinking, driving cars or watching nascar, you're sitting here reading this fucking book!

*You want to be famous!...You want to be on TMZ!

*I told those ugly fucks to bring their books!

*An interesting book that nobody card about.

*I'll neverdo THAT again if duke wins this... no wait; why did i say that? I'll never stop doing THAT noooo~ .... "SWEET AUBURN!"

[CrimsomWolf]

Sounds much like my math & drama teacher, only more about life, less about conspiracy theories and in one-liners.

[HAYABUSA-FMW-]

He's going to take back your notes on his lectures one day.

Then give you an A++ for writing down all of this jokery.

School kids look around the book[F]ace and Tweety birds for one liners and the funnies, even while at school. They need to enroll in your class with this guy. Might be worth the ever rising tuition.

[Sayara]

*"If they fail they'll go to the mall and set themselves on fire."

*"Its middle class bullshit."

*"Kennels will be on your exam...and if you mention dogs i'll stop reading your exam."

*"If you really love your girlfriend; you can walk in on her completely naked with the mailman and trust her enough to know she's got a good idea for doing that!"

*"Am I a good bird?"
"Yes you are; here's some KFC..."

note:
ken·nel 2 (knl)
A gutter along a street.

[Zeek123]

*Theres a PLAQUE of me! And I'm handsome!

Is your teacher Stephen Colbert?

http://blogs.smithsonianmag.com/aroundthemall/files/2008/12/stephen-colbert-portrait-at-smithsonian.jpg

[Sayara]

Sadly no.

[HAYABUSA-FMW-]

But he's better since he improv/writes his own jokes on the fly.

Hmmph, studio productions and book editors that do half the book for you. Who needs all that but fakeys?