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View Full Version : Internet Autobiography, or There And Back Again: A FKLer's Tale



Somniferous
Jul 7, 2010, 10:27 PM
Growing up, I heard the word "computer" thrown around by adults, but it was just that: an adult word, like "taxes" or "politics", and if it didn't affect my Lego-building, it didn't affect me. Our family had a computer, but our family also had a garbage compactor, and both of those were equally boring to me because they were adult things that were part of a bigger adult thing that was called "technology", and "technology" had nothing to do with dinosaurs.

But I was curious, so I eventually began experimenting with our home computer [and testing the limits of our garbage compactor]. I had taught myself to read with Calvin & Hobbes, but I quickly learned that the words I knew had completely arbitrary meanings on a computer: Command Prompt wasn't a game, and System Control had nothing to do with spaceships. I was forced to navigate via icons, which led to another discovery: cool icons generally lead to confusing programs that will irreparably damage your computer if you play with them. Also, cookies.

After much trial and error [and learning that the recycle bin wasn't like our trash compactor], I started to understand computers: I just understood them in a confused way that made everything more complicated, e.g., I could navigate the internet, but I only knew how to get to a website by setting that website as the browser homepage. We didn't have the internet at home, so I had to use the library's computer lab: this resulted in the homepages at the library's computer lab constantly being reset to "pokemon.com" almost every day for two years, and the frustrated librarians trying to figure out what malevolent force was behind this assault.

And for a few years, that's all I did on the internet: haphazardly browse video game websites----but in seventh grade, my school got a computer lab.

Giving me access to a well-furnished computer lab was like dumping a drunk octopus into a public swimming pool: something was going to happen, and it was probably going to involve tentacles and soccer moms. Local networks were accidentally crashed; viruses and pornography were accidentally forwarded to all school mailing lists; and classmates' homework assignments were accidentally deleted. That I was able to accidentally do all of this is even more impressive when you consider that: I didn't know that LANs existed; I didn't know that you could download images from the internet; I didn't know you could download anything from the internet; I didn't know that email existed; and I didn't know computers could talk to each other [at the point, I still thought the internet involved phones and robots].

In eighth grade, PSO 1&2 came out, and I discovered this website. My old account's posts are still here: I got bored tonight, plugged my old account name into Google, and followed a digital trail to my old posts--some serious nostalgia, those. My first few forum posts were the typical "have game, wat do" posts, but I quickly found/was banished to FKL. I should probably thank [or blame] FKL for teaching me about the internet, because you can definitely chart my internet-savvy progress over the course of my posts in FKL. So thank you, FKL, for introducing me to the internet; I'll never be the same [or productive] again. It's been six years since I was last here, but I'm back.

HAYABUSA-FMW-
Jul 7, 2010, 10:29 PM
I was going to say best FKL first post ever, top ten 5, running.

But then you're a long lost soul of a return account - due to lost password or something?

GG. Keep on keepin on. Except check with staff, we're not ever supposed to have more than one account, unless unresolved errors/can't get back in to old one, if you were banned that's a whole another :soup: can of beans - as in possibly not allowed back unless leniency of the staff.

Somniferous
Jul 7, 2010, 10:34 PM
No, not banned. I just don't have any of the old account's information, or access to the registered email (I'm not even sure which email I used), etc. I hope they let me stick around.

HAYABUSA-FMW-
Jul 7, 2010, 10:38 PM
Oh okay.

Didn't mean to 'scare tactics' you.

Don't e-mail me the corn poo as retaliation!

How was the soccer mom backlash? Get as far as 'Banned' in Real Life? Thinking through reading that part of the story, it definitely could have gotten that far.

Somniferous
Jul 7, 2010, 10:43 PM
The general consensus among the soccer moms was that the drunk octopus was just being a drunk octopus.

Somniferous
Jul 7, 2010, 11:57 PM
Since I loved dinosaurs, it only made sense that a dinosaur game (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carnivores_%28video_game%29) would be the first PC game I would play; unfortunately, there was a problem: the family computer couldn't play the game; in retrospect, I think the computer was designed around Minesweeper.

Fortunately, I had a solution: install Carnivores on every other computer I came across. Unfortunately, the game files were apparently named after a malware rogues gallery, which caused every school/business/library that I visited to go into system lock down and backup/delete/firewall everything. I was Typhoid Mary (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Typhoid_Mary); but instead of spreading typhoid, I was just installing poorly-named files on every computer in a fifty-mile radius so that I could shoot a Tyrannosaurus Rex.

Nitro Vordex
Jul 8, 2010, 12:00 AM
You know, you could just ask Ryna if he could help you out. As long as you can provide proof of ownership you should be okay.

So, who exactly are you?

HAYABUSA-FMW-
Jul 8, 2010, 12:03 AM
^

We should all be so lucky to teach our kids such the error and danger of the Internet ways.

9th grade Accounting class - what - with senior age doods, bad degenerate type of class, but some cool guys despite it. We installed some freeware games off a quick search and DL, made sure to change the icons, hide them in the start menu call that stuff - "Computer Options" with a grey file cabinet icon.

But too much having fun and watching the next guy up crashing his dirtbike 2D physics dude headfirst laughter blow up = teach comes over to shut this down. Where'd you put the game. Stop doing this.

Managed an A through doing my work, but teach was gone halfway through the semester - also the track coach so he had field trips/meets to attend. I should have learned to just go home but was the freshmen didn't know any better. Older dudes stole harddrives out the computers later, some of course not in the class, taking advantage of little sub teach or no supervisions - and that was the end of that.