RANT: I hate my life

[FinalMasterM]

I've never got a damn ounce of respect, people (not all, but most) love to use me, and no matter how hard I try, I just can't ever win.

[Guntz348]

I totally agree life sucks and people are just the worst thing on the planet. I never go any respect either man it sucks. Now I just try to get people to fear me, do they? No, they just laugh at me and tell me to shut up. I've never once been called "sir" with out having "your making a scene" added on to the end. Bahhhh what can ya do?

Seriously though, I do feel you. It sucks when you come down to it that you only have a small handfull of people in your life, outside your family, that love and care about you. But hell if you have one person that you know is truely your freind and you know he or she really cares about you then its all worth. The way I look at it, if you can count your true freinds with more then one finger you doing something right. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_smile.gif Just keep ya head up and keep on keepin on, if for nothing else, just to piss other people off the way they pissed you off.

[FinalMasterM]

I'm not one to take revenge, I'm more or less asking to get hurt by other people. Friends I've made and lots over time, hurts to think about them and to wonder where they've gone too. Most of the time, I'm the one to blame for losing them, if only I had just continued to let myself get hurt instead of trying to change things, maybe they'd still be here. It's not that I hate people, I hate myself, that's why I hate my life.

[Guntz348]

I hear ya, I never took revenge when I probably should have and could have, but that's just not in my nature. Obvioulsy not yours either man. Just trying to lighten up the situation and make you smile. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_smile.gif I just kinda let it slide, but I definatly don't associate with those people anymore. Don't blame yourself for people walking on you. Anyone who does that is just a scum bag, F'em you don't need trash like that. I don't know what they did to you or how they screwed you over but trust me man, you don't need anyone who's just there to use you. I've been in your shoes and let me tell you, I've learned the same leasons you are, the same hard way. Trust me when I say, you don't need those people they are not your freinds. Don't blame yourself, It's not you. If anything you've done wrong it sounds like your too nice to people. Does that mean you should turn into a jerk and hate everyone? Hell no! Just be yourself, you will find people that will respect and like you for you, because you really sound like a great person! Are you still in high school? If so take it from me I been outta there for years, F those people. Kids in high school are so rude and stuck up, at least where I went to school. All those kids that were jerks to everyone in highschool are gettin it back to them ten fold. Watch you'll see in a few years you'll see these people and maybe even say hi. When you ask them what they are doing garunteed they are gonna tell you that they been just chillen and partying. They are probably about to flunk out of school and are like 2 steps away from a meth clinic. All the people that thought they were hot shit in my school are even more total trash now then then. Half of 'em are drug addicts and alcoholics and the other half are criminals that about to get sent away. Your just more grown up then the people around you. I been there and thats why people probably give you a hard time. Trust me in a few years down the road you'll see them again and realize how much better a person you are then them. Don't give up hope, not for those people. Listen if ya ever need to talk about stuff I'm here, I've been where you are and think I can help http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_smile.gif

[FinalMasterM]

I've been out of school for almost 2 years now and I agree with some of the stuff you said about people who gave you a hard time. I'm a small guy tho, was growing up, so it was always easy for people to walk on me in school, maybe that explains why I'm on my computer (when I'm not out at work) because no one can physically (sp?) see me and assume I got "use/re-usable" on my forehead.

When ever I try to win, I lose. I blame it on how weak I am, both in strenght and mind. I'm not strong enough to lift a box of bleach at work without pushing myself and I'm too dumb to think of stuff for my own, I'm always following someone else. Sounds like a big pity party, but I'm only being honest with myself.

[Blood_Dragoon]

It's never a good idea to be everyone's doormat. People can only walk on you if you let them. In the same aspect you cannot just expect people to respect you without going out there and earning it. Don't sit back and let people use you. Stand up and get in their face, be agressive, and don't be afraid to speak up if you have a problem. You said something about being a physically small person. Well I am one also but I was never anyone's doormat or one to let others use me or push me around. What it boils down to is attitude. If you carry the proper attitude people will be less likely to try and take advantage of you.

[Daikarin]

On 2003-03-08 00:11, FinalMasterM wrote:
(...) but I'm only being honest with myself.

That's good, FinalMasterM. Several people I know wouldn't look at themselves and consider the rest of the world to be crap, closing themselves like a shell from life forever, because they think they deserve whatever they are getting through.
Don't forget, you're a person like anyone else. If anyone is strong, so can you be. You deserve respect, and those who don't give it to you are not worthy of your attention. It is true. Always remember, there's a big world filled with idiots out there. Have the strength to not be like those idiots. And yeah, I believe you can do it. No, you CAN do it.
Be strong enough to figure out what's wrong and also try and change it. Win past depression. Anyone makes mistakes in life, but the difference is seen on how you overcome them.
Come on, be pleased about yourself. Is it that hard? I don't think you're a bad person after all. I don't think anyone on this forum does. So why should you think so bad about yourself? Be strong and never forget that you're the producer of that big movie that is your life.

...Damn, I got carried away again http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/anime2.gif

Best wishes

[SorceressofTime]

FinalMasterM, i totally agree with you.

[Ness]

On 2003-03-07 22:41, FinalMasterM wrote:
I've never got a damn ounce of respect, people (not all, but most) love to use me, and no matter how hard I try, I just can't ever win.



Not to flame you or anything, but if you treat people in real life the way you treat people here, it's easy to see why you aren't respected.

Oh the flipside, people not respecting you will only hurt them more after you achieve something that they didn't.

My friend to enemy ratio is about 2:1 right now which is good considering that at one time I had no friends. Just be yourself and everything will level out eventually. And don't treat people like crap (that was my problem and I think it's yours too). Also haveing no firends is no reason to hate life. I've always enjoyed life even through it's downs.

[FinalMasterM]

On 2003-03-08 07:24, Ness wrote:
Not to flame you or anything, but if you treat people in real life the way you treat people here, it's easy to see why you aren't respected.


Ness, most of the people (including yourself) I've ever gave crap to here were asking for it. You've constantly said/done things here that I've seen other people get flamed (or whatever) over.



And don't treat people like crap (that was my problem and I think it's yours too). Also haveing no firends is no reason to hate life. I've always enjoyed life even through it's downs.


I'm not the one going out and targetting people for some known reason when they've not done anything to me. Also, who said I didn't have any friends, if that's what you're trying to apply.

[Abaddon]

Funny how Sorceress agrees with FinalMasterM yet Ness doesn't say anything about that

[MasterJoel]

I used to walk around chanting "I hate my life, I hate my life" when I sold shoes at sears... you never hate your life quite the same after you quit, lol.

I too was a short child, easily stepped on by the bigger children. And now my younger brother (who stole my memory card and won't give it back) is taller than me (as he sometimes was http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_razz.gif), and my doctor says I will be 5'7" forever... oh well. My childhood has left me a bitter, emotionally scarred person, and I don't expect me to become any more optimistic.

About you hating your life, just remember it won't last forever! When I am 32, I will be gunned down in a bank, while someone is robbing it. Oh yeah, I'm positive.

[FinalMasterM]

From PM


On 2003-03-08 11:00, Ness wrote:
I've never asked for any crap from you. And I still haven't infact, I tried to be nice to you and only got cruelty in return. Also I've seen lash you out at people for no reason.


The first time we talked you had AIM'd me only to give me shit over my signature. You ruined the rule of "first impressions" right there. I always have a reason for lashing out, most of the time it's because I see someone doing something stupid or breaking an obvious rule.



You're right. You don't target people for KNOWN reasons. It still haven't figured out why you treat me like crap and you've ignored the several times I've tired to apologize to you. I thought you said that you didn't have any friends.


It's hard to win my trust back (weither you had it to being with or not) and everytime I turn around you're saying/doing something that doesn't change my opinion of you.

[FinalMasterM]

On 2003-03-08 23:31, MasterJoel wrote:
I used to walk around chanting "I hate my life, I hate my life" when I sold shoes at sears... you never hate your life quite the same after you quit, lol.


I work at Dollar General with a friend and some people I've learned to get along with (at times) and almost all of them have plans on leaving in the next 2 months, which leaves me alone there or stuck getting another job with new people to know.



I too was a short child, easily stepped on by the bigger children. And now my younger brother (who stole my memory card and won't give it back) is taller than me (as he sometimes was http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_razz.gif), and my doctor says I will be 5'7" forever... oh well. My childhood has left me a bitter, emotionally scarred person, and I don't expect me to become any more optimistic.


I'm 5'8", which is still small. I stand at the counter to work and see people my age/younger who are atleast a foot taller than me http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_frown.gif. As for what you said "My childhood has left me a bitter, emotionally scarred person, and I don't expect me to become any more optimistic." I can't help but to agree with that.



About you hating your life, just remember it won't last forever! When I am 32, I will be gunned down in a bank, while someone is robbing it. Oh yeah, I'm positive.


I can already see myself dying in a car wreck, I'm so nervous when I ride to work, and I don't even drive.

[Mystil]

Uhm hmm. All you need to do is find loyal friends. Who will not use you for what you have/are. Don't let that be detrimental to your self esteem.

[MasterJoel]

On 2003-03-09 14:10, Silhouette wrote:
Uhm hmm. All you need to do is find loyal friends. Who will not use you for what you have/are. Don't let that be detrimental to your self esteem.


back in my day (i was born in the 80s, lol) people didn't just have self esteem... they had to earn it, just like everything else in this world.

And i have many friends, good friends, thank you very much... but i do plan to die alone... significant otherless, lol

[hollowtip]

It's weird, the best friends I do have are probably the least successful in life. They're generous, and would rather please their friends instead of themselves. They never ever make fun of how I look, act, or feel (unlike other friends I know) even if it is just joking around, and hanging around them, I feel like a better person myself.

Those IMO are true friends.



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: hollowtip on 2003-03-09 22:12 ]</font>

[pixelate]

Oh woe is me.

[FinalMasterM]

On 2003-03-09 22:31, pixelate wrote:
Oh woe is me.


Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

[Ness]

First of all if I wanted this to be public, I would have said all that here in the first place.



On 2003-03-08 23:35, FinalMasterM wrote:

The first time we talked you had AIM'd me only to give me shit over my signature. You ruined the rule of "first impressions" right there. I always have a reason for lashing out, most of the time it's because I see someone doing something stupid or breaking an obvious rule.


That's not true I aimed to get to know you better because you seemed like a pretty cool guy. While it's true I asked you about your sig, I only asked you who Shinobu was, why you liked her, and how old she was. I don't consider that shit. Unless you're refering to the "Isn't she a little young for you?" question, but I didn't say that to hurt you.





It's hard to win my trust back (weither you had it to being with or not) and everytime I turn around you're saying/doing something that doesn't change my opinion of you.



I really don't care about your trust now. I did at the time because you were one of the few people I knew. So if you want to keep on hating me, I can't stop and I don't care to either.

[Ness]

On 2003-03-08 23:19, Abaddon wrote:
Funny how Sorceress agrees with FinalMasterM yet Ness doesn't say anything about that




That's because you and Sorceress are cool.

[ABDUR101]

On 2003-03-10 07:25, Ness wrote:
That's because you and Sorceress are cool.


That makes absolutely no sense. That's just a double standard.

"You suck, so it's wrong. This guy is cool, so it's ok if he does it." =

[Mystil]

On 2003-03-09 22:11, hollowtip wrote:
It's weird, the best friends I do have are probably the least successful in life. They're generous, and would rather please their friends instead of themselves. They never ever make fun of how I look, act, or feel (unlike other friends I know) even if it is just joking around, and hanging around them, I feel like a better person myself.

Those IMO are true friends.



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: hollowtip on 2003-03-09 22:12 ]</font>


Yea that's how I feel too. Then there are fortunate ones who would rather sink with you and continue to bring inspiration in your life.

[Ness]

On 2003-03-10 14:34, ABDUR101 wrote:


On 2003-03-10 07:25, Ness wrote:
That's because you and Sorceress are cool.


That makes absolutely no sense. That's just a double standard.

"You suck, so it's wrong. This guy is cool, so it's ok if he does it." =



There's mopre to it than that. It's not the fact that they hate thier lives that I was getting mad about. I really don't care if a friend agrees with someone I disagree with.

[Auracom]

FinalMasterM I know how you feel. These kinda days come and go. Some stay longer than others. Sometimes I wish I could be alone, theres always someone around staying stupid shit. And I know about the no respect thing, you do stuff for people and only expect a smile back or a thanks... but all you get is a "not good enough."

[FinalMasterM]

I'm bumping this, because I feel like this again. I doubt I'll do anything to change it this time around. Maybe I'll get lucky and it will eventually kill me.

[Dimeris]

I used to have the woe is me prespective as well.
People used to love to walk all over me.. then i realized it was true that the nice guy finishes last.
Idiots and nice people usally get walked all over.
After a few refreshers in that i just decided to be an asshole..

[Ness]

On 2003-05-10 23:11, FinalMasterM wrote:
I'm bumping this, because I feel like this again. I doubt I'll do anything to change it this time around. Maybe I'll get lucky and it will eventually kill me.



Like I said last time, if you treat people better they will respect you more.

[FinalMasterM]

On 2003-05-11 06:49, Ness wrote:
Like I said last time, if you treat people better they will respect you more.


Ness, you obviously don't understand...

I treat a majority of people with the same respect I'd expect back. When they relize how nice I can be, they use it to their advantage. I become their shoulder to cry on, the person who listens and help as much as I can, but in the end I'm left in their dust as they go and find someone 'better' than me.

Ex:

I had a person, who at the time I considered a friend, who got dumped by her boyfriend. I, being the doormat I am, helped her out (talked to her, joked around, etc) then one day came and I asked her out. She told me that she wasn't ready to jump back into a relationship. I respected that and contiuned on to act like my usual self the days that followed. Not to far after that, she was already with another guy and hasn't said anything to me since.

(due to all the labeling going on here, at the MB) I shall dub her "human".

[geewj]

On 2003-05-11 08:02, FinalMasterM wrote:

Ness, you obviously don't understand...

I treat a majority of people with the same respect I'd expect back. When they relize how nice I can be, they use it to their advantage. I become their shoulder to cry on, the person who listens and help as much as I can, but in the end I'm left in their dust as they go and find someone 'better' than me.

Ex:

I had a person, who at the time I considered a friend, who got dumped by her boyfriend. I, being the doormat I am, helped her out (talked to her, joked around, etc) then one day came and I asked her out. She told me that she wasn't ready to jump back into a relationship. I respected that and contiuned on to act like my usual self the days that followed. Not to far after that, she was already with another guy and hasn't said anything to me since.

(due to all the labeling going on here, at the MB) I shall dub her "human".



You know what, you helped her out, you did what was right, you were a good friend. That is what you should be getting the satisfaction out of. What she did later on doesn't change the fact that you did a good thing and should feel good about it. Satisfaction from doing something good for someone isn't put on hold until the favor is returned by the person.

"We reap a reward merely in the act of helping others. We never know how, or if, that reward will come back to us. Helping is the reward; none other is needed nor better."

[Mystil]

Blah, by default people use the hell out of me. Heh. You aren't alone.

[FinalMasterM]

I don't expect people who I consider friends to just turn around and forget about me, but that's the way it has always been. The thing is, I'm too stuck-up to go around acting like I want/need attention. I feel that people should just talk to me without me being some sort of attention whore.

[FinalMasterM]

Also, I don't want people's attention if they only want something from me.

Ex: On furcadia a few nights ago I was talking to someone who seemed kinda down. After a while of talking one of her "friends" log on and shes gone, completely ignoring me. Last night I saw her the sameway I found her before, but instead of stopping to talk, I continue on. Not long after she sends me a whisper (form of private message) "I'm lonely, will you come and talk to me?". I couldn't help but give her my 2 cents on how I felt, which didn't seem to matter to her, seeing how she found someone else to whored attention from.

[Eum]

I'm sorry, but I can't stand people who look to self-pity to solve their problems.

You have no idea how incredibly small your problems are. Take a look at some of the other people in the world and their problems, and then sit here and whine about your own.

[FinalMasterM]

On 2003-05-11 09:46, Eum wrote:
I'm sorry, but I can't stand people who look to self-pity to solve their problems.


Who said anything about me looking for "self-pity" I came here to rant and let my feelings out.



You have no idea how incredibly small your problems are.


"Small" in your opinion, but these sort of things really annoy and hurt me.



Take a look at some of the other people in the world and their problems, and then sit here and whine about your own.


Their pain and problems have become mine, if you could read. And if you're talking about problems beyond those that can be fixed just by words, then they aren't any of my consern. I see people come into work, dirt poor, 3 kids and a good for nothing sitting at home, I don't give 2 cents about that, their problem for marrying him/her.

[pixelate]

On 2003-05-11 08:36, FinalMasterM wrote:
I feel that people should just talk to me without me being some sort of attention whore.



People won't realize you're around if you don't make your presence known. And most people won't know you're around unless you make an attempt to contact them. Sure, they may see you, but if you're giving out this attitude of not being open, they won't feel that you're easy to talk to.

Basic introductions don't make people attention whores. Attention whores are those who go beyond themselves in order to be noticed. It's amazing how far you can get with someone just from talking about them and not yourself. For most people, something as simple as hearing their own name makes them feel important.

If someone does come up and talk to you, they're probably not a good match for you, because their personality differs from you as a basic level: communication. They're open. You're not.

[Ness]

Eum wrote:
I'm sorry, but I can't stand people who look to self-pity to solve their problems.

You have no idea how incredibly small your problems are. Take a look at some of the other people in the world and their problems, and then sit here and whine about your own.

Wow you said somthing that I actually agree with. Keep up the good work.





On 2003-05-11 17:53, FinalMasterM wrote:

Who said anything about me looking for "self-pity" I came here to rant and let my feelings out.



Final, you've always looked for self pity. Ever since I ment you I always considered you a big softie. That is why I thought you were cool.




"Small" in your opinion, but these sort of things really annoy and hurt me.



And the crap you say about other users here doesn't? I've seen you insult people about their problems and rants, so why can't they do it to you?




Their pain and problems have become mine, if you could read. And if you're talking about problems beyond those that can be fixed just by words, then they aren't any of my consern. I see people come into work, dirt poor, 3 kids and a good for nothing sitting at home, I don't give 2 cents about that, their problem for marrying him/her.



You know there is a such thing as caring too much. It's one thing to give someone a "don't worry, buddy" compliment and shoulder to cry on, it's another thing to let their problems become yours. I think that's going a little too far. If one of your friends is sad, give them some warm fuzzies and some advice to help them get through it and then be done with it.

[FinalMasterM]

I think my problem is in communication. I could walk into a chatroom/place, say hello, ask what's up, and then what? Usually everyone there is already doing their thing with whoever was there before me, and I have a hardtime just jumping into one of their converstations.

[Eum]

Didn't say "looking for", said "look to". Difference.

I think my biggest problem, since we're on the subject, is tolerating those who can't read themselves better than I can.

[Ness]

My biggest problem is that... well I have no problems.

[Nawms]

On 2003-05-12 03:31, Ness wrote:
My biggest problem is that... well I have no problems.



You just named your problem (other that having no problems) :Your pride is going to eat you whole.

Then spit you back out all slimy. And then its gonna be like "what! and like the townspeople are going to try to eat you alive. And then....

[Ness]

On 2003-05-12 13:56, Nawms wrote:


On 2003-05-12 03:31, Ness wrote:
My biggest problem is that... well I have no problems.



You just named your problem (other that having no problems) :Your pride is going to eat you whole.

Then spit you back out all slimy. And then its gonna be like "what! and like the townspeople are going to try to eat you alive. And then....




I don't have as much pride as it may seem. I jkust can't think of one right now.

[Axispoint]

On 2003-05-11 18:16, FinalMasterM wrote:
I think my problem is in communication. I could walk into a chatroom/place, say hello, ask what's up, and then what? Usually everyone there is already doing their thing with whoever was there before me, and I have a hardtime just jumping into one of their converstations.



Then don't say anything and watch and learn. I used to not like talking all that much, but if I hear something interesting, I will jump in and say something. Just takes practice (and lots of listening, lol). Also, I found out that if you're the quiet type, people like to confide in you more (I've had a lot of people at work do that with me...several times I've had nurses just start blabbering away about something going on with work or home and I just quietly listen). It's kinda weird, but I guess if I ever wanted to, I'd have a career as a counselor, lol http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wink.gif

And there's been a dozen times where I've ranted about how my life sucks (not on here that I recall, though). I've tried to stop doing it because it never once did me a bit of good. Even filing it off as ranting never helped. So now if I have a problem that makes me feel like my life sucks, I tend to more look at the problem and see what kind of problem it is and see how I might go about solving it. And sometimes if things get really bad you have to remember some things are permanent solutions to temporary problems http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_frown.gif

And Master Joel, may I ask why you refer to self-esteem as something to be earned? There's nothing about it to be earned. It's how you view yourself. And I was born in the 80's as well (1981 to be exact) and I have no clue where you get this "earn" stuff from. I'm not flaming, I'm just curious because I've never seen that before (perhaps you just have a different take on it http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wink.gif).