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anwserman
Sep 14, 2010, 01:39 AM
Many people in the homosexual community piss me off. Fags. A guy can be gay, because he likes men. A guy can also be a fag, which is being gay but with the nifty addition of acting out and embracing every single stereotype of a homosexual male that there is.

The ironic part of this rant is that I am a openly gay male.
I, however, am not a fag.

If you could go back deep into the PSOW forum archives, you'd see that I've always had issues with my weight. I lost a lot of it back when I started college, and unfortunately when I transferred schools I gained it back. Which sucks for me. But, quite frankly, during and since school I've always been active.

Yeah, not necessairly exercise. But with constant classes and work, I was always on the run. And since I finished school, I've been working full-time (on my feet 8 hours a day) and have started exercising again just recently. I'm still a thick guy.

Now, here is what pisses me off with a lot of the gay male community. Many relationships are based off of looks, sex, and social politics. Not actually caring about the other person. It's all about benefitting yourself at the expense of the other individual, and seeing what you can get out of the relationship before moving onto the next person.

So, I'm a gay male who has a steady, stable job. I'm quite friendly and jovial with people. I always try to make people laugh, and just have a good time. I'm also quite honest - for instance, last time I went out to eat I noticed I was undercharged. I didn't want to screw the restaurant out of revenue and the tipped employee out of income. I consider myself a decent human being. But that isn't enough.

But I am not 120 pounds, anorexic, and sporting Abercrombie.

This rant was fueled because I was trying to chat with a guy. We've chatted before, not recently, but it was nothing extreme. Friendly conversations in the past. Nothing too serious or deep. Tried messaging him tonight, and all I get was "leave me alone and stop bothering me".

WTF. What did I do to deserve this? Burn down an orphanage? Perform ethnic cleansing? No, probably because I'm not a fag.

I can almost guarentee that if I had a ripped six pack and a tanline, people would be wanting to chat with me left and right. But no. My personality means absolutely diddly squat because I'm a 'bear', I'm a 'thick guy'. I'm not an anorexic twink who looks like I could be snapped in half during intercourse. I'm not a fag, and thus not even worthy of a conversation.

And I guess, ya know, perhaps I shouldn't want to talk with these individuals. But, how do you know if they're an asshole if you don't talk to them? Can't judge a book by their cover, which is an opinion I hold, but what is exacty the opposite of what they're doing to me.

(I did look sexy at one point but wasn't a douche about it).

-----

On the flip side of this argument, I will admit that I might contain some of these selfish characteristics. Like, you know, refusing to talk to someone who hasn't updated their profile picture or profile in 3-4 years (mine was updated yesterday, amazing self photo btw). Or, ignoring creepy old men who are in their 70's who send me pictures of their junk among graphic descriptions of what they'd like to do.

End rant.

BTW, here's the most recent pic of me.
http://imgur.com/YWGuU.jpg

Pirrip
Sep 14, 2010, 01:49 AM
Your post in intriguing, but I don't think you filled in enough detail about the "Leave me alone" bit. I mean, how do you know he hasn't had a bad week?

anwserman
Sep 14, 2010, 01:54 AM
I've tried messaging him before, with no avail. On occasion, but might be away from the computer, browser not working, etc. But it's not like we had shitty conversations. Like, hobbies, interests, college, athletic activities.

Which is indeed the truth, might be having a bad week. But on the flip side, wouldn't you clarify it as such? E.g., "not in the mood to chat right now?"

It could also be my self-confidence, or lack thereof. But I somehow doubt that. I like chatting with people. Its not like my first message ever to him was "SIT ON MY FACE" (which I did indeed get that messaged to me before).

Sord
Sep 14, 2010, 02:16 AM
Which is indeed the truth, might be having a bad week. But on the flip side, wouldn't you clarify it as such? E.g., "not in the mood to chat right now?"


Sorry if I don't follow, but what do you mean by "clarify" and "such" here. But yeah, may just be a bad week. I've had ones where shit happens in my life and I wouldn't talk to damn near anyone for a few days or a week. If I was bugged I would just tell them to bugger off 'till I was ready to speak to someone.

Maybe it's just 'cause your photo is your head and shoulders, but you really don't look to bad. Maybe on the big side, but not what I would call fat (at least in comparison to most people, in actual health terms good lord are so many of Americans fat, I'm probably overweight myself even though numerous family members insist I'm skinny.) One of my old coworkers was gay, and honestly he was fat. Complained about similar issues. Though he also hated the word fag and took it as an offense even if not directed at him.

anwserman
Sep 14, 2010, 04:10 AM
@Sord, instead of telling me to get lost and stop bothering him. If he was indeed having a bad week, he could have stated it as such. And yeah, it's just a head shot. I'm definately a thicker guy.

Here's an older pic from a year ago, but really I haven't changed much since then.
http://imgur.com/Gr8AM.jpg

Yeah. I'm a thicker, bigger guy. But I'm also nowhere near walrus-like proportions. I dress for my size. I don't think I'm a skinny little bitch and wear skin-tight designer clothes while I'm muffintopping. :sad:

I dunno. It just frustrates me what I try to just sit and converse with people and am not given the time, more than likely based on looks than everything else. Besides abnormal conditions (like the mentally handicapped guy who has about 10 different aliases and floods my inbox saying HI YOU LOOK HOT and WE SHOULD DATE and WINK WINK with each alias. In each alias it says he's mentally handicapped, so I'm not exaggerating here) I attempt to try to converse with those who say hi.

And a good portion of the time, when people do say hi to me I find a good reason to ignore them immediately. E.g., let's fuck is the greeting instead of hello.

I guess it bugs me that the gay community is about as shallow as a reflecting pool. And it's ironic because the gay community doesn't like people judging them, but at the same time has no problem judging it's own members.

Sord
Sep 14, 2010, 05:34 AM
replace that net with a warhammer and you look like you could beat the hell out of someone with it

But yeah, if that's how the gay community is around there, it's seems pretty damn odd. Personally all I know of is the co-worker of mine and a few dudes I have only briefly met, none of which have ever gone into what type of guys they liked except one that said they preferred Asians. So not much experience in that area. All I can really say is you don't look bad at all. Yeah, your thick, but so is damn near every other American right now and honestly you just look average. Also from that distance shot, a bit like Billy Mays with less facial hair.

Kion
Sep 14, 2010, 06:22 AM
I don't think that this is about being gay or not. Superficial people is something everyone encounters with dating. Since humans are just monkeys, mating is based entirely on external looks, symmetry, and physical strength. Most people fantasize about sex with a really hot person, but for long term relationships personality and compatibility is all that matters.

Superficial people are superficial. They go by external looks, have sex and go their separate ways after a short period of time because there's no depth to the relationship. If you're looking for an emotional relationship, then you're just looking for something else. However, looking good is the first step in attracting any mate (partner), in my opinion that's your own personal responsibility to put your best foot forward. It doesn't do you any good to shift the blame and build up straw men by dismissing them as fags. You did mention that you did have good conversations with that guy.

Delete
Sep 14, 2010, 08:09 AM
I'm gonna have to go with the " he was probably mad" point. I sometimes I get mad and start shit with my own family, so maybe he was throwing it out at ya.

Adriano
Sep 14, 2010, 10:09 AM
Would you have rather he ignore you?

DragonForce
Sep 14, 2010, 07:35 PM
I know little to nothing about the gay community, but if they have a problem being judged and no problem judging each other then they need counseling or a psychologist. Either that or they need to get the fuck over themselves, grow a fucking pair, and stop acting like bitches.

Anyway, good luck with that.

Alexandria
Sep 14, 2010, 07:56 PM
I swear I thought this was going to be a rant about bikers. I need to lay off the TV.

Also, gays are gay. They keep stealing words. >.<
Faggot, Gay, Queer, ect. Go make up your own words, guys! ._.
(Note, I have nothing against gays or the homosexual community)

Ravenbryt
Sep 15, 2010, 12:44 PM
Well my gay buddy. People are always gonna be shallow douches. it can't be helped. But if you wanna talk to somebody, I got you. You can talk to me. I'm a straight guy(although I did have quite a few gay experiences with my buddy lol), but I still know exactly where you're comin from with the "fags." They're as annoying as all hell and insult you for the way you are amd get butthurt (no pun intended) when you say something in return. Insult me and it's fine, and my retort is all of a sudden a hate crime? Just 'cause I made fun of his stupid, pink, abercrombie, tight-ass shirt? Douchebags. Tellin' me I have no style. Psh. But I digress...message me bro.

anwserman
Sep 16, 2010, 03:01 AM
Thanks for the assistance you guys.
Perhaps in the gay community there are more shallow people than the general population..?

I tend not to have this sort of issue with straight men. Hell, the majority of my male friends are straight. It's interesting, I guess.

Tyreek
Sep 16, 2010, 02:46 PM
I hate to say it answerman, but there are plenty of shallow people within the community. Sex and looks is what rolls with them, and the people who are actually worth the personality they hold are far and few in between. One of my friends, I can account for being one of those people who are worth talking to for something other than "How big are you?"

All I can say is, be careful. Those types are the ones to break your heart. And will hurt you in more ways than one.

Back on topic though, that guy could have been having a bad day... Maybe. Still, that's no reason why he should be telling you off like that, unless, I don't know, you were nagging him all day. Which I see you didn't.

unicorn
Sep 17, 2010, 07:44 AM
You weren't his type, point blank.

I think the connotation with "fag" is very close-minded IMO. Especially when its used within the gay community. There has been a divide between more "masculine" gay males and more feminine gay males, and its ridiculous. I don't know where you are really coming from, but it sounds like you strongly dislike homosexuals that act a certain way.

Sadly, you have to embrace it. Telling a more flamboyant homosexual to "tone it down" or not be such a "fagget" is like telling a black person not to be so "ghetto".

Stereotype behavior is a natural thing, why do you think people in a large group naturally act a certain way? Even when it isn't instilled in them, some personality traits are more prominent in certain groups of people.

But I drifted slightly away from the topic at hand. He ain't wantchu, boo. Perhaps you're going after the wrong type of guy? Try not to think about it too much, humans get emotionally weak when we feel our vanity is at stake.

Volcompat321
Sep 17, 2010, 08:53 AM
You weren't his type, point blank.

I think the connotation with "fag" is very close-minded IMO. Especially when its used within the gay community. There has been a divide between more "masculine" gay males and more feminine gay males, and its ridiculous. I don't know where you are really coming from, but it sounds like you strongly dislike homosexuals that act a certain way.

Sadly, you have to embrace it. Telling a more flamboyant homosexual to "tone it down" or not be such a "fagget" is like telling a black person not to be so "ghetto".

Stereotype behavior is a natural thing, why do you think people in a large group naturally act a certain way? Even when it isn't instilled in them, some personality traits are more prominent in certain groups of people.

But I drifted slightly away from the topic at hand. He ain't wantchu, boo. Perhaps you're going after the wrong type of guy? Try not to think about it too much, humans get emotionally weak when we feel our vanity is at stake.


Well said Luu.
This is why you're awesome.

I also wanted to say something about the "stereotypes" acting like a certain way because they naturally act like that. Which is why it's an assumption of a certain kind of group...It's almost redundant. Knowing someone would act a way, and putting a label on it to make it seem less significant so you can criticize it because of that stereotype.

Anyway, I kinda wanted to stay away from this subject, cause it's not something I know very much about..
Good job on the posting everyone. I somewhat expected this one to get out of hand.

Tyreek
Sep 17, 2010, 09:32 AM
Actually, I think Luu is absolutely right on this point. Again, like I stated in my last post, their personality is what matters. And if their personality creates symmetry with yours, well, I think that's where the magic happens. That's only my opinion though. In my view, I can only judge people by being able to hold a conversation and not thinking about bagging me the moment they lay eyes on me. Being masculine or flamboyant is only an introduction, but I think being shallow is a bad thing, and leads to nowhere. I think this applies to both sides.

But like Luu said, he's not into you. Screw him and move on to someone who will actually matter.