? Falz Memorial -poem help plz-

[Sha Sha]

I have to write a poem about some place in nature. Lately I have been haunted? Maybe? of Falz Memorial from PSO Ep1. And this is what I have so far. I wanted to add in Red Ring Rico since to me she is important to me to that area.

I'm Still deciding if I want it in 1st person or 3rd person.
Right now it's in 3rd ( i think)

He comes out of the deep dark ruins
Suddenly into a strong calm light

The flowers move but no sign of wind

The meadow is enclosed but wide.
beautiful yet eerie. The air has a strange aura to it.
Odd headstones of unknown follow the marble walkway
up to a tall monument, a memorial of a dark figure

as he get closer to the foot of the tower
a red ring child sits on the tomb
She smiles and waves as she vanish into a flash of light.


This is all I have and Im still moving things

please help me ><

[FOkyasuta]

A tad more detail? Like the Tomb maybe? Some personification never hurts but doubt were you'd fit that.

[Sha Sha]

I'm gunna of course add more to it, maybe up to the point where Rico gets release from falz
but yea..not sure since i keep getting told (from people online,not my teacher) that i shouldnt be getting help for this and i shoudnt use this for a poem and etc

[FOkyasuta]

I'm gunna of course add more to it, maybe up to the point where Rico gets release from falz
but yea..not sure since i keep getting told (from people online,not my teacher) that i shouldnt be getting help for this and i shoudnt use this for a poem and etc

Appearently your teacher doesnt know. I made a poem of the car in my sig pulling out of the garage. It turned out fine. Yours will to.