What is your view on love?

[redroses]

From so many subjects that interest me, the subject love is probably in the top 3. I would really love to hear what you think about love/true love/marriage/the one/relationships in general.

For me, love is very important, and although it is said to be a chemical reaction I do think it goes way beyond that. And I guess I do somewhat believe in true love and the one (even if the relationship might not last with "the one" person, it is just that really special feeling you get towards that person that even if you look them in the eyes after years you get that butterflys in stomach feeling).
I have now almost been 5 years together with my fiance, and I can with a 100% honesty say I still love him like on day one. Of course, nobody can say if it will last forever, life changes and people change, and maybe our ways will seperate one day. But I do really hope that that won't happen and that when I am all old I can sit next to him in a wheelchair and talk about our fun times we had together.

To the subject of subject of marriage. I would like to marry, but nor for religious reasons, but so that I could call him my fiance and that we would be seen as husband and wife. Just to tighten our bond even more.
It is sad to see so many marriages fail, but I do think a lot of it has to do that many people marry for the wrong reasons or that once they are married they stop caring. They start to get lazy in the relationship. And marriage is still that, a relationship. Just because you are married shouldn't mean that your relationship is "safe" and that you need't work on it anymore. I think it is always very important to appreciate your partner, their good sides aswell as their bad sides. And of course know that you also have bad sides, and always will, but both of you can always work on them.
Anyway, I just think, that through marriage many people think that their partner is now their proberty or something like that. Which is why they just start to treat eachother different.
Like said, for me marriage is just a stronger bond for ones relationship, but in no way something that makes your relationship safe.

Enough from me for now.
Let me hear your thoughts!

[Sord]

Love is nice when it's returned. It's shitty as all hell when it isn't. Chances are, everyone, no matter how stingy or uptight, is probably going to deal with it at least once in their life whether they believe it or not.

As per marriage, I don't believe in it, for a few reasons. I don't follow a religion. I'm not saying a god doesn't exist. But like hell am I going to trust somebody else that they know god's grand plan or that they even have the right one in the first place, if he is actually there. Second, I don't believe the government should even acknowledge marriage. Your intimate relationship with whoever is something they should not have their hands on in any way (outside of possibly aiding domestic abuse victims or something.) If I love a person, I don't give a damn if God acknowledges it, or the government, and since that's one of the main bases of marriage (unless you're not marrying for love and some other reason like it also used to be.) You don't need God, government, or a marriage to sustain a relationship. If you really love the person, you'll stick with them and help one another. Marriage is not necessary in any way shape or form. Also, yes I realize there are certain tax and insurance benefits to those that are married, but honestly I think that's total BS. They should either offer benefits to people who have remained living together for X amount of years or none at all. It shouldn't be related to marriage. If 2 friends just share a house or apartment and rely on one another's income for a long time, and one of them dies in a car crash, how is the other friend any less screwed over financially than if a long term couple met the same fate?

[Oatmeal]

I'd only marry if the partner was significantly wealthier than I was (unlikely!) so that I could divorce them and make out with half their worth. :bday:

[BIG OLAF]

I find love to be a silly, useless emotion that has little place in modern human life. I'm sure I'll get flamed for saying that, as I always do, but it's how I feel.

[The Last Baron]

Love is the driving force behind success in our actions, and I don't mean success in the sense of "pass or fail," I mean success in a more general way, enjoyment perhaps. If we love ourselves and our actions it doesn't really matter what happens as a result. Love allows a path to a more sustainably happy life.

Having love for another is a natural result of falling in love with your life.

[AC9breaker]

I personally think it's one of the most overrated emotions. People seem to over emphasize it's worth and lose sight of everything else in this world because everyone is in pursuit of the posterboy image of true love. So much to the point that when one even throws out the word love, usually the first thought that comes to anyones mind is that of a man and women coming together.

There are still many other forms of love, the love of a parent for their children, the love of siblings who care for each other, the love of friends are actually, no bullshit, really friends, rather then frequent acquaintances who put up the visage of friendship, the love we have for our interests in life such as art, music and performing, and many other forms of love. With each and every example of the of form of love, there needs to be a balance, anything in excess in this world is wrong. Too much of an emphasis is placed on love in our society and on being in a perfect relationship that people force marriage and relationships because they see everyone else doing it, because as a society we seem to over emphasize it's worth. So much to the point that people are moving faster then they can think and react to what it is they are really doing. Since so many people do it it becomes an accepted practice.

Just my two cents though.

[Delete]

Marriage? Eww. The L word? Eww x2. There have been a handful of girls, but that was little petty school crush things. Although I have been guilty of L wording one person, but that turned out to be the most complicated experience of my life and it still is >_>

Still don't ever plan on marrying her tho just to throw that out there. >_>

[Taijutsu-Joshua]

Yeah, Love/Marriage is overrated. You're right about that OLAF.

I'm not out looking for my significant other, or something like that. However, it's bound to hit all of us at one point or another. How you deal with it at that point is gonna affect how you're gonna feel about it years later.

Maybe decades ago, love meant something, but now, it's useless.
Look at a soap opera. Girl 1 dates Boy 1. weeks later, Boy 1 cheats on Girl 1 with Girl 2. Claims he loves her. In revenge, Girl 1 sleeps with Boy 2, and the story goes on... yadda yadda.

My point: Love is herp derp. LOL.

Glad I came to that conclusion at 16. That'll save me years of trouble.

[amtalx]

Jeebus Christo, when did everyone get so jaded?

[Taijutsu-Joshua]

It kinda just happened? Dunno.

[Sord]

I'm guessing media popularization as well as a combination of parenting. One of the biggest influences of me not following any church was as a kid, my parents would constantly shift churches based on their ideals. Even as a kid it struck me as odd that everyone was saying their version of God was absolute, and here my parents were picking and choosing between which ones they liked. Yeah, that's not conflicting at all *eye roll.* I was the kid that questions Santa Clause and the Easter bunny by the time they're out of kinder garden though. My parents still do this with churches to this day.

As per marriage, my parents split up when I was 5 or 6, both remarried different people, divorced them. Dad remarried a 3rd time, mom's been in and out of a few boyfriends (not sure if she even wants to marry anymore.) All but maybe 2 or 3 friends I know offline come from parents that have eventually split, that's out of about 20 or so friends I have.

I'm also a thorough believer in separation of church and state as well, which is another reason I don't believe the gov't should have any say or even acknowledge marriage.

So I suppose that'd be why I'm jaded.

[The Last Baron]

Jeebus Christo, when did everyone get so jaded?

Last I checked I was kind of tan. Calling me "jaded" would be pretty inaccurate, unless you're color blind, in which case I'm sorry.

[Taijutsu-Joshua]

And a valid point, at that.

[Seth Astra]

I'm among the group that doesn't believe in true love at worst, and at best finds it an improbably rare occurance that only really strikes a small handful of people. Anything less than true love I see as one's mind trying to add meaning to lesser emotions. Either way, I don't see love as something for me. It's just not worth it.

[Nitro Vordex]

ITT: foreveralone.jpeg

Love is a necessary force in life, despite what a lot of people believe. A life with no passion or love for anything is not a life worth living. That doesn't mean you should end it, but you should improve. Anyone who floats through life just being logical and "smart" is pretty much an emotionless robot. If there's no fire, no passion, no drive in your life, then what are you even living for? You can't say for yourself, because you pretty much aren't. As far as I'm concerned, finding something you love in life is a main priority. It should make you happy, and make you feel like it's completely worth it. That doesn't necessarily mean you have to be in love with someone, marry and have a bunch of kids. In terms of loving one another, you should share a mutual love of each other, encouraging their good points and forgiving their faults, and maybe even agreeing to change them.

Also, people who believe in only one person to love are a bit silly. It's always possible to love multiple people. Always. Falling in love is not connected to one single person as opposed to the [billions on the planet.

tl;dr Love is important and don't think otherwise.

[Pirrip]

I feel the same way you do, OP. Love and relationships are very interesting topics.

I think that love is often turbulent, but it has to be in order for your bond to mean anything. I've been with my boyfriend for close to a decade now. It makes me sad to imagine that other couples we knew have split and that perhaps they would have been happier if they'd stuck by eachother for a little longer.

[MetaZedlen]

I'd only marry if the partner was significantly wealthier than I was (unlikely!) so that I could divorce them and make out with half their worth. :bday:

Kill yourself please.

[Zettaizero]

Haha, this thread is going to reek of flame. It's very sad how some feel that way I can relate though, love is indeed something that could back stab you if you go chasing it. I'll probably be another supporter of it, humans are emotional beings you could say any emotion is useless. It's a rare occurrence, but if returned it could be something very rewarding. It's definitely not overrated, and without it we could live a miserable life, giving up all hope in the world and such. No emotion is needed to live, but love is just something I would rather have than not. The love and support of my family, friends got me where I am now. Love is the most important emotion we could ever have we would depressed or sad in some way without it. As for romantic love, I see it as more of a gift than a need but probably the most desirable thing this world has to offer. It will be more than worth the effort once you've gotten it, but people tend to sulk and cry about it when it didn't happen yet or they've been baited and used. We shouldn't dwell on it, but if you really want it no pain no gain just keep that in mind.

[CupOfCoffee]

I like love overall. Romantic love is O.K. I might like to marry a nice girl who would live in a different house and not want to sleep in my bed all the time. (It gets too crowded and much too warm.)

I believe I share the Dan Savage view that there is no such thing as The One and that most people could be happy with any number of potential partners that they'll never in their lives meet. I also believe that some people are fundamentally incompatible with romantic love (for any number of reasons) and would always have trouble deciding that the pros outweigh the cons no matter how many wonderful, caring relationships they find themselves in. (I don't mind admitting that I fall into this category.)

TLDR: do what makes you happy.

Edit for amtrax: I think it must be considered that message boards for online RPG communities are not typically the best places to get balanced answers on the question of love. ;)

Second edit, for posterity: I've been L-worded too many times for comfort, and I L-worded somebody once and still cringe when I remember it. Just say no to L-wording, kids.

[Zettaizero]

Edit for amtrax: I think it must be considered that message boards for online RPG communities are not typically the best places to get balanced answers on the question of love. ;)

That's the most useful piece advice of a life time.

[Tyreek]

My mom had granted me 1 piece of advice when I was getting over my previous phase of finding love.

"Don't look for love. You let it come to you."

To this day, I have felt happier with that advice given. I found it better to have an evolving friendship over time. If something deeper were to come from it, than I wouldn't mind seeing where it goes. But until then, I'll be having fun on my own terms.

[FOkyasuta]

Better to have not loved at all then to have loved. If a hole through your cash and family wasn't enough, How about your heart? I don't think so! In short, Find something else productive to waste your time.

[Outrider]

Yeah, I can definitely say that I've experienced a ton of pain due to love. I've been shot down, I've been lead on, I've had my heartbroken and I've watched people I love go through terrible situations.

Sure, it sucked at times. But overall, the good far outweighs the bad. Yeah, pain sucks and you may want to convince yourself that opening yourself up to this kind of thing is a sign of weakness, but that's life. Sometimes it's rough, but if you never take these kinds of risks you're going to miss out on some the best things in life.

And hey - as a few people have mentioned, there are lots of different kinds of love. Let's not narrow things down to just romantic love. Platonic love is pretty awesome as well!


Also:

Marriage? Eww. The L word?


L-worded

http://www.pso-world.com/forums/picture.php?albumid=1672&pictureid=22175

[Leviathan]

Love can be great.

My cat gave my mom dead mice and birds to show love, I think that's pretty neat way to express it.

[CupOfCoffee]

Outrider and Levi, I like the cuts of your jib.

[Palle]

My cat gave my mom dead mice and birds to show love, I think that's pretty neat way to express it.
From what I've read, this is actually an expression of disdain for your mom's terrible hunting skills. The cat is saying, "this is how you do it, rookie."

[RenzokukenZ]

It's a double-edged sword for the most part.

[Mike]

Love can be great.

My cat gave my mom dead mice and birds to show love, I think that's pretty neat way to express it.
That's not love, that's just a cat being a cat.

[Robert_Garcia]

I see it as quaint.

Overall though, if I do ever fall in love with someone, I'd have to trust them 100%.

[redroses]

You all have very interesting views, even the ones they say love is useless/overrated. I could never agree with such a statement but I truly resptect it, eventough I guess I find it quite sad. I just think there is nothing more awesome then those special moments you share with your partner. It's waaay different then of rexample hanging out with your buddies in a bar and laughing around or doing the same with a partner.

Like others said, I am not sure love really works if you are looking for it. It will just be forced and you end up with a partner that is ok and cool, but in the end not really what you are looking for. I guess it ends up being more of a short crush on that person then anything else.

And to marriage again, I would only like to marry so me and my fiance could be husband and wife and of course so we could have the same name. I have nothing to do with religion and never had. And especially my mother is no rolemodel when it comes to marriage. But I still believe it can work out, as long as you keep on working on the relationship(as long as there is still love involved of course).

[darkante]

Love isn´t something that can be forced or rushed.
Then there is also all those different views as well.

I have these 2 cats that the older one only comes to me for comfort and tends to avoid everyone else.
While my younger doesn´t really care either way as long it gets food.

Love? No idea, love is complex.

[Nilkemios]

Love? Whatever.

[Keilyn]

I've been in love for many years....a very long time.

I would say I've been on all sides of the fence on this one. All I can say after all the objective and subjective reasoning is that love is just love...

its there, and it exists.

Don't fight it, but don't deny or dismiss it.

Its there, yet not there at the same time.

Just be and it shall come when you open yourself to it.

Its that basic of a thing.

[Sayara]

Its a required function for life, that can or cannot be surpressed depending on previous encounters with the function.

[Ark22]

I rather be single, because my gf (Mind you we were only dating for 6 months) ANYWHO, she pops the question...we should get married =D! And after I bought and played the game Catherine, I'm having second thoughts o.o....

[KodiaX987]

Love is like pubbing on online games.

You wade through incredible amounts of shit with the fleeting hope to have just one good encounter so you can delude yourself into thinking it was all worth it.

[CupOfCoffee]

I bought and played the game Catherine, I'm having second thoughts o.o....

Ha! That's awesome, but you probably shouldn't mention that your video games are turning you against her. Especially if your Catherine-influenced cold feet turn out to be prophetic—she might give you the old fork in the eye.

The older I get and the more relationships I have and fail to enjoy, the more I realize that I'm happiest when in unrequited love (or unrequited like, rather). It sounds strange and it's probably laughably unhealthy, but somehow it works. I prefer to admire from afar and avoid getting saddled with all that unpleasant mushy stuff. Romantic compliments make me feel smothered and awkward and deceitful, as if I'm being loved incorrectly. Even with girls I like and whose company I genuinely enjoy, the idea of starting a relationship is just horribly unappealing.

Maybe when I get older and lonely I'll change my mind, but to be honest I can't picture it. Every time someone tries to tell me a great relationship is like having the other half of your heart filled up, I can't help but remember that it's always felt more to me like force-feeding my already full heart a whole other person that doesn't belong in there and isn't going to fit. And then I have to be the dumper. Just once I'd like to be dumped myself, so I wouldn't have to feel like I subjected someone to yet another selfish and ultimately failed experiment.

</weirdthoughts>

Probably this is what is called "aromantic," but I think I'll wait until I'm dead to start putting labels on what I was. Maybe it could go on my tombstone, right above "HE TRIED."

[BIG OLAF]

I think I feel the way I do because when I was younger, I was emotionally abused pretty much every day of my life. Not by my family, mind you, but by just about everyone at school. I was the constant mockery of just about every other kid all the time, and eventually it just ruined my processing of what it meant to be "kind", or "loving." I'm not a dick, mind you, but I don't really have the capability to go above and beyond common courtesy. It also made me extremely spiteful, distrusting, and closed-off towards other people. It's a lot worse with females, since they were responsible for probably about 98% of my mental anguish throughout school. I hold them in the utmost contempt.

All that being said, I can say with a fair amount certainty that I never really "loved" anyone. Not in a romantic sense, and not in any other sense. I don't "love" my parents, or any of my family. I don't "love" my friends. I appreciate their company, and I don't wish harm on them, but nothing much beyond that. I've had close family members die. I've had old friends die. I never felt sad about it; never shed a tear over any loss. When something bad happens to family or friends, I can't really bring myself to care that much. I don't know if I'm sick in the head, or if I'm a robot, or what. But, people usually think I'm a piece of shit for something that I have minimal control over.

Hell, if four different psychotherapists can't fix me, I must be pretty damned broken. It doesn't help that I have extreme anxiety problems, either. I mean, just typing/sending posts on these forums freaks me out a little bit sometimes.

[redroses]

I think I feel the way I do because when I was younger, I was emotionally abused pretty much every day of my life. Not by my family, mind you, but by just about everyone at school. I was the constant mockery of just about every other kid all the time, and eventually it just ruined my processing of what it meant to be "kind", or "loving." I'm not a dick, mind you, but I don't really have the capability to go above and beyond common courtesy. It also made me extremely spiteful, distrusting, and closed-off towards other people. It's a lot worse with females, since they were responsible for probably about 98% of my mental anguish throughout school. I hold them in the utmost contempt.

All that being said, I can say with a fair amount certainty that I never really "loved" anyone. Not in a romantic sense, and not in any other sense. I don't "love" my parents, or any of my family. I don't "love" my friends. I appreciate their company, and I don't wish harm on them, but nothing much beyond that. I've had close family members die. I've had old friends die. I never felt sad about it; never shed a tear over any loss. When something bad happens to family or friends, I can't really bring myself to care that much. I don't know if I'm sick in the head, or if I'm a robot, or what. But, people usually think I'm a piece of shit for something that I have minimal control over.

Hell, if four different psychotherapists can't fix me, I must be pretty damned broken. It doesn't help that I have extreme anxiety problems, either. I mean, just typing/sending posts on these forums freaks me out a little bit sometimes.

I see where you are coming from, somewhere I can understand. I guess when one gets emotionally scarred it is pretty hard to get it away. I have had horrible experiences with my ex and it stook long on me, I became much more locked up and careful about the way I show my feelings because I was afraid of being vulnerable again.
My partner had to deal with me being like that for long, and I did feel sorry for him. Plus I didn't even want to be that way anymore, especially not because of such an ass.
So then comes the part were you decide if you want to let the past hunt you and treat people the way they treated you, or you for yourself decide you do not want it that way and just let it all go (not that is easy to accomplish, maybe even impossible for some).

I can't read from your post if you are ok with you being the way you are in this subject or not. So for now I won't say more about it, as I wouldn't want to step on your toes for maybe wrong reasons/me understanding things wrong.

[Outrider]

Maybe when I get older and lonely I'll change my mind, but to be honest I can't picture it.

How old are you, again? 19-20?

It's not that weird for somebody your age to have no interest in 'settling down' and dating just one person. Heck, dating lots of different people can be healthy as it can help you figure out what you're interested in. But it's not like there's anything wrong with not being interested in relationships. Some people just aren't. Some people are more interested in pining for someone. Others are interested in the mushy relationship stuff. And of course, some people are just interested in the sexual contact.

Love is weird like that sometimes.


Every time someone tries to tell me a great relationship is like having the other half of your heart filled up, I can't help but remember that it's always felt more to me like force-feeding my already full heart a whole other person that doesn't belong in there and isn't going to fit. And then I have to be the dumper. Just once I'd like to be dumped myself, so I wouldn't have to feel like I subjected someone to yet another selfish and ultimately failed experiment.

What I will say is this - in my experience, being in a steady and healthy relationship means never having to worry about any of that.

As exciting as the early days can be, during which you're giddy with excitement for what the relationship could be, there's also a lot to be said about the fun and contentment you can have just knowing that there's somebody with you who can rely on entirely and who you can have fun with regardless of whether you want to just sit inside watching TV or go out on the town.

Again - it's not for everybody. But for anyone who is interested in it, when the randomness of the universe makes you collide with somebody like that, it's really amazing.

[Oatmeal]

I've never been in love and hope I never am. It's a clouding emotion and prevents you from seeing better prospects available. Every girlfriend I've had I've dumped without hesitation when I found someone better to get involved with.

To me, falling in love with someone and staying in a very long relation with them means you have given up on yourself and have settled; it's a very self-depreciating behavior.

[Neith]

Surprised, but it really is brilliant if you do find someone; it's like nothing else I can think of. I've been with someone years ago, and it was amazing while it lasted. Of course, the split is awful and can mess you up bad. If anything, it's a
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XwKvwD97cf8

It's something I've considered I guess; I've been single for a long time now, but I didn't want to meet anyone while I was in a bad way (out of work with no money whatsoever, getting by on benefits). Now that I have a job (not completely secure, I find out if I get kept on in a couple months), I think maybe it's time I did the things I wanted to do years ago- travel, and hopefully meet someone I can relate with.

The worst thing for me is that where I work is almost all females in their 20's that I get along with really well. Of course, this being reality, they're almost all with someone :disapprove: I suppose I'm in no rush, but I am almost 26 and would rather not be still in the same position at 40 :wacko:

Not sure I've ever believed the 'everyone has a perfect partner' though; it really depends on the person. I'm naturally very reserved, so I find it difficult to keep conversation, but I don't think it'd stop me from finding someone- it might just take a while :lol:

I have to admit, lots of people here have a really negative view of it; I guess I find it a little odd.

[CupOfCoffee]

How old are you, again? 19-20?

Haha, closeish. 24.

And I agree with everything you said. I don't find myself or a general apathy to romance to be weird in the slightest, but other people often do, so I find myself explaining a lot.

I'm not a romantic, but I am an optimist, and I'm open to the possibility that someday something will click and I'll understand what everyone seems to see in romantic partnerships. But I'm also content to take my current happiness (with all its regular friends and freedom from emotional obligation) at face value, and so I also won't mind if that something never does click.

[StriderTuna]

I consider love to be an unusual exception of nature, but a pleasant one that honestly I see the "no love" alternative to be a pretty terrible thing as more good comes from love than bad.

I've been burned a good number of times but I press on and have hope. But I do agree with the remark about "letting love come to you" as I've had some nice moments when I followed that. At the moment I'm just waiting and seeing what happens.

[Nitro Vordex]

God, most of you people are just depressing.

[amtalx]

God, most of you people are just depressing.

I wouldn't quite say depressing. It just seems like some view love as bad because it often puts you in a vulnerable position, and somehow that is construed as weakness. I'll admit that I shared a similar view in my younger years when dealing with typical teenage angst, but that was a long time ago. It's the kind of logic that's born from the ignorance of youth, not the wisdom of experience.

[GLaDOS]

My childlike naivety refuses to allow me to think love can be truly depressing. Having no experience in a relationship at all would be my excuse. So yeah, I still think love is that spectacular combustion of radiant light when you know you've finally found that one person. And yes, I do still think that that person, once found, will always be there for you, when it counts or otherwise. Haha! Obviously, I'm not quite ready to leave my world of fairytale just yet ....reality is a bit to scarey for me at the moment. -3-

[The Last Baron]

The thing that's confusing me most about this thread is that people are throwing around the word love as if it means solely romantic love between two people. It's that mindset alone that really prevents such a happening. We fixate on what love should be between two people and why we can't ever have such a thing. We fixate on why trying to achieve that sort of relationship is meaningless, avoiding all potential meaning of the resulting happiness that it can bring. We fixate on pain and betrayal. Such fixation gives power to these feelings and blinds us from seeing that love is not a romantic love is not something we can aim for or should aim for but something we will experience. That is the very nature of a feeling.

We often resign ourselves to one fate because of what we've seen, attaching our past to our future. In many ways, looking at romantic love as resulting in marriage is detrimental to accepting it as something we want. In this day and age, everyone knows at least one family who has suffered a divorce, and failing that there are enough publicized celebrity divorces for one to at least know what one is. One might then ask "Well, weren't they supposed to have loved each other?" And to some extent, I'm sure they did experience love in their time with each other. However, we all are aware that there are checks and balances to a relationship. Some call it "making sacrifices," which further adds reason to dislike the idea of romantic love. Making an uncomfortable change is one thing--we all fall into comforts and habits in our lives, and when we break them without taking even a second to think about why we should or shouldn't have, the resulting change can be extremely discomforting--but making a true sacrifice is another. A sacrifice (the kind that truly brings about the failing of a relationship) is a change made that conflicts with our core values. What do we hold dear in life? Our values more than anything else determine how and who we will love, and the less understanding we are of said values, the less likely we are to find a partner who truly reflects these values and provides us with a sustained happiness.

So when it comes down to it, romantic love is an extension of a love and understanding that you have for yourself. You start with a reflection: this is who I am, this is what I hold dear, and this is what I want. You then move to action from your reflections: do things fitting with what you hold dear, surround yourself with people who fill you, continue to tell yourself what it is you want, even tell the others around you, make it known! This cycle of action and reflection cultivates a love for ourselves. Just as attaching to misanthropy and cynicism leads us to a place where we cannot see a meaning in love, letting ourselves experience things that fill us leads us to a place where love fills every action we take.

Does our romantic partner materialize like *poof*? No, that would be silly (well actually you never know!). Your partner does exist though, as much as you can see her/him.

/tangent

[GLaDOS]

The thing that's confusing me most about this thread is that people are throwing around the word love as if it means solely romantic love between two people. It's that mindset alone that really prevents such a happening. We fixate on what love should be between two people and why we can't ever have such a thing. We fixate on why trying to achieve that sort of relationship is meaningless, avoiding all potential meaning of the resulting happiness that it can bring. We fixate on pain and betrayal. Such fixation gives power to these feelings and blinds us from seeing that love is not a romantic love is not something we can aim for or should aim for but something we will experience. That is the very nature of a feeling.

We often resign ourselves to one fate because of what we've seen, attaching our past to our future. In many ways, looking at romantic love as resulting in marriage is detrimental to accepting it as something we want. In this day and age, everyone knows at least one family who has suffered a divorce, and failing that there are enough publicized celebrity divorces for one to at least know what one is. One might then ask "Well, weren't they supposed to have loved each other?" And to some extent, I'm sure they did experience love in their time with each other. However, we all are aware that there are checks and balances to a relationship. Some call it "making sacrifices," which further adds reason to dislike the idea of romantic love. Making an uncomfortable change is one thing--we all fall into comforts and habits in our lives, and when we break them without taking
even a second to think about why we should or shouldn't have, the resulting change can be extremely discomforting--but making a true sacrifice is another. A sacrifice (the kind that truly brings about the failing of a relationship) is a change made that conflicts with our core values. What do we hold dear in life? Our values more than anything else determine how and who we will love, and the less understanding we are of said values, the less likely we are to find a partner who truly reflects these values and provides us with a sustained happiness.

So when it comes down to it, romantic love is an extension of a love and understanding that you have for yourself. You start with a reflection: this is who I am, this is what I hold dear, and this is what I want. You then move to action from your reflections: do things fitting with what you hold dear, surround yourself with people who fill you, continue to tell yourself what it is you want, even tell the others around you, make it known! This cycle of action and reflection cultivates a love for ourselves. Just as attaching to misanthropy and cynicism leads us to a place where we cannot see a meaning in love, letting ourselves experience things that fill us leads us to a place where love fills every action we take.

Does our romantic partner materialize like *poof*? No, that would be silly (well actually you never know!). Your partner does exist though, as much as you can see her/him.

/tangent

Wow. I knew love was very complex, and I'd still probably never get the mechanics of it, even if I lived forever. But reading this, I guess I kind of understand it a little bit more.

[Keely]

Selfishness is the antithesis of love and makes relationships difficult. The ideal situation is that both people keep their selfishness to a minimum.

[Gunslinger-08]

True love, in the romantic sense, is something that develops over time. Meeting someone and falling head over heels in love isn't true love at all, since it's charged with emotion and often lust.

Love isn't that obsessive feeling you get when you start dating Mr. or Mrs. Right. It's not the emotional high, it's not the kissing, it's not the cuddling, it's not the sex. (Those can sometimes be expressions of it, though.) Love is trust. It's putting someone else's happiness above your own. It's the willingness to give anything you have to or for someone else.

I have days where I hate the thought of love, and then I have days where I can't stop thinking about that particularly amazing girl I've worked with all summer long. I've had my heart broken, been rejected, rejected girls, fought, argued and hurt people that I love and have wanted to love. I have friends that I love like brothers, platonic friends who I love like sisters, and I love (most of) the members of my family.

I don't believe in love at first sight, but I believe in true love as a kind of love that can develop between two people. When I say "true love," I mean this:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Hate the text for being biblical if you so please, but understand that I believe that this is the kind of love that people need to be looking for, both in their friendships and in their romantic relationships.

(Looking back at what I've typed, this is a jumble of trains of thought, for which I apologize. That said, somewhere in there are my thoughts on love, poorly organized though they may be.)

[hbmizzle10]

very deep gunslinger and very true.

[sCI]

I personally think it's one of the most overrated emotions. People seem to over emphasize it's worth and lose sight of everything else in this world because everyone is in pursuit of the posterboy image of true love. So much to the point that when one even throws out the word love, usually the first thought that comes to anyones mind is that of a man and women coming together.

There are still many other forms of love, the love of a parent for their children, the love of siblings who care for each other, the love of friends are actually, no bullshit, really friends, rather then frequent acquaintances who put up the visage of friendship, the love we have for our interests in life such as art, music and performing, and many other forms of love. With each and every example of the of form of love, there needs to be a balance, anything in excess in this world is wrong. Too much of an emphasis is placed on love in our society and on being in a perfect relationship that people force marriage and relationships because they see everyone else doing it, because as a society we seem to over emphasize it's worth. So much to the point that people are moving faster then they can think and react to what it is they are really doing. Since so many people do it it becomes an accepted practice.

Just my two cents though.


I'm among the group that doesn't believe in true love at worst, and at best finds it an improbably rare occurance that only really strikes a small handful of people. Anything less than true love I see as one's mind trying to add meaning to lesser emotions. Either way, I don't see love as something for me. It's just not worth it.

Wow guys, can't really say anything other than, exactly. I couldn't put it in those words myself, it's great to be able to see others feel the same.

http://www.woosk.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/clap.gif

In my own words, personally I'm neutral about love. Skeptical. If I ever think I've found it, I'll question it, and then do it again. Maybe I'll find it.

[Xefi]

i cant say much about love between a man & a woman yet since i havent experience it enough.
but i do know that, whenever my soul mate said "I Love You" to me. my heart feels very timid
and about to burst.

my first soul mate didnt go well and we lost contact. my second soul mate, is now talking about
marriage with me. depending on how well we get along, i might have to settle down and
start a family soon. *still saving up money to buy my own house*

the word "Love" means much to me and it's a wonderful feeling. :cat:

[Angelo]

Love is a vulnerability.
The bravest thing someone can ever do is love completely and without conditions.

True love is a compromise that never feels like a compromise.

When we have it in our grasp it gives us joy, when it slips away from us it gives us sorrow, and when we let it go it makes us stronger.

You can say you don't need it, and you may be right. You can say you don't want it, but you'll always be lying.

[BIG OLAF]

You can say you don't want it, but you'll always be lying.

Depends on the person. Some people have never had it, in any way, shape or form, and don't know the difference anyway,

[MetaZedlen]

Depends on the person. Some people have never had it, in any way, shape or form, and don't know the difference anyway,

But in the deepest parts of their brains lies that little thing called curiosity, so you can't quite say this as though it is absolute.

[Blue-Hawk]

To quote George Carlin on my feelings on this love bullshit-

Tried it, didn't like it. Fuck it, I'M GONE!

[Daak]

Loves awsome !!!
Nothing more to say about it ...

[Zeek123]

Good to see the internet's still negative... I haven't really figured anything out for myself yet, but I do think it's something you have to be ready for in the right stage of your life, both emotionally and mentally.

I'm only 22, and realize that I'm still way way too young for anything like marriage, so I can't really express much an opinion of it, especially with all the weird statistics that get thrown at us every week.

One thing I have learned, love is most certainly fleeting, and very bitter if either party can't accept the habits or beliefs of a significant other. Love is also not something that's for everyone.

[Akaimizu]

Love on a true heart-to-heart level is often denied to those who'd embrace it the most, and offered too freely to those who'd rather keep it away. It's the stuff of storybook fashion whenever neither of these things happen.