My brother is a fat weaboo.

[Gunslinger-08]

So I pick up my brother today from his school. He's 18, grossly overweight, and exhibits less than stellar hygiene. As I start driving, I try to pick up a conversation like I usually do. I get a few curt answers that basically are telling me to stop talking to him, and he starts listening to his iPod. I've got the radio on, but turn it off out of curiosity.

What could he possibly be listening to?

Anime openings.

Anime openings the whole ride home.

This has just been a mental last straw kind of thing for me. He calls himself an "otaku" already, and has a list about five pages long of animes I should watch because they're amazing and have well-written stories.

So we get to the house. I've graduated from college, but live with my family because my job doesn't pay well enough or give me enough hours to even consider having my own place. He goes straight to his room and begins watching anime, which is is doing now, as I write this rant. He does this every day after school, and little else. Oh, he does eat, A LOT, if there's any food in the house he can eat out of a bag.

I've tried encouraging him to at least get some exercise, and to even switch up his routine. I don't have an issue with anime, Japanese culture, or any of that. I'm a regular on a forum for a fucking Japanese-made game series, FFS!

So my biggest concern right now is his health, both physically and socially. He's tried to ask girls out who he likes (guess what race he prefers!), and has been consistently turned down. My own track record with women perhaps don't give me a huge vantage point over where he stands, but I have been more successful than he's ever been.

So now I'm just sitting here at my keyboard, irritated and concerned. He's going to college in the fall, and I'm worried he's just going to be a socially awkward cave troll who skips classes and sits on his ass all day eating chips. In some ways, it would be similar to how I started my college freshman year, but I lucked out and made friends who helped me turn around my bad habits involving hygiene, being sociable and being more outgoing.

I'm not perfect, and there may even be a little hypocrisy in all of this, but I was at a point where I simply needed to vent, and a semi-anonymous game forum seems pretty perfect for it.

Now excuse me while I find a helmet just in case this thread gets a little crazy.

[NoiseHERO]

I think the best thing you can try to do is slowly getting him interested in other things.

If he can read 300 manga chapters in a few days, he can pick up an indie comic book, if he can relate to that compared to some 3X year old japanese guy's fantasy maybe he'll want to make a wider group of friends and grow a personality. If he makes any friends he'll eventually be more outgoing at least around them.

From there he can do whatever he wants with his life.

As for losing weight, the best thing you could probably do is they tell kids to do on TV, get out, have fun and get active or something. Losing weight doesn't have to mean push up and running/jogging. There's more fun things you can do like, skate boarding or martial arts.

I dunno, all I'm saying is if there's anyway to help him. It's to break him out of ONLY having an interest in anime and japanese culture. Took me till I was 17 to make me take interest in things other than video games and anime myself... But now I'm kind of sick of both.

The reason I said indie comics.. Week the first I actually bothered reading Scott Pilgrim it made me feel stupid to previously think I would only be interested in comics drawn by asians that are terrible at telling stories. Which is where I quickly started to get sick of all of the bologna.

As for his eating habits.. It's really hard to get people to change the way they eat. I DUNNO MAN IT ALL SOUNDS REALLY BAD! He has to change himself, all you can do is influence him, assuming you have the power to, if he's already at the point of ignoring you.

[GCoffee]

Did he ever say that he is unhappy with his life? If he has no drive to change to begin with, I do not see how you could ignite a change in his habits.

[blace]

Did he ever say that he is unhappy with his life? If he has no drive to change to begin with, I do not see how you could ignite a change in his habits.

Ultimately this. If he does not have any desire whatsoever to change his perspective and desires, you shouldn't expect any change to happen. Unless you can provide him some reasons for change as well as some examples, I doubt he will take any note of it.

An example of this would be my cousin, who pretty much lived the same he did when he was in high school; working, wanting to hang out, and not doing much else but sit around and talking (or trying to find someone to talk to) about meeting up and have fun.

[Reksanden]

Ultimately this. If he does not have any desire whatsoever to change his perspective and desires, you shouldn't expect any change to happen. Unless you can provide him some reasons for change as well as some examples, I doubt he will take any note of it.

An example of this would be my cousin, who pretty much lived the same he did when he was in high school; working, wanting to hang out, and not doing much else but sit around and talking (or trying to find someone to talk to) about meeting up and have fun.

I was the same until recently, actually. It sucked being there, until I realized that my life was basically empty. Now, well.... Things are going both quickly and slowly.

[BIG OLAF]

My advice is, don't push people who don't want to be pushed. It only makes it worse and pisses them off. He probably takes all the helpful advice you give him (like getting exercise, etc.) as personal attacks.

Also, not everyone likes to be outgoing. Some prefer to stay in that semi-awkward solitude. Maybe he doesn't, but some people do.

[Atbar]

Hmmm....it could just be a phase. He's in high school now. What's to say he won't grow out of it eventually?

[Gunslinger-08]

Valid points, guys. He's pretty varied in his moods, so there are days when we get along like good friends, and others where he's angry at the world and moreso at me.

At the end of the day, I see reflections of myself in him, in how I used to be. I know that not everyone wants to be outgoing, but as much as I've known him, he's honestly trying to be more outgoing, he just doesn't have a lot in common with people, and has little to talk about other than anime. I was the same, except it was all about video games. I'm just hoping he'll be more willing to expand his interests and horizons in the near future.

I'll keep doing what I can and try to influence his decisions and habits (no nagging or such). I think his temper and mood issues relate to his rather strained relationship with our father, both being incredibly bull-headed, which leaving for college may very well resolve.

Gratzi guys, just had to rage a little bit.

[NoiseHERO]

Yeah no ones saying you should force him to change!

But you gotta influence him to expand on those horizons as you says.

Seriously though, at this point, fuck anime! I ONLY LIKE THE ART STYLE NOW! He's got to have an epiphany on that shit! Or open up his tastes for more things! I know in a lot of cases it was my older brother that ALWAYS and still does gets me to try new stuff.

Then I make my friends try those new things! and it's usually hit or miss, but when it's a hit it's awesome. There's more books, different forms of animation, media in general and more awesome forms of entertainment out there. I dunno how long someone can stay brainwashed over anime!

Or like other's said maybe college is all he needs, I hear less people give a shit about trivial things over there. Compared to high school where EVERYONE is all "Ugh don't look at me I'm afraid of people!" and they just like suppress each other with it, with their awkwardness.

[xmoonprismpowerx]

I don't think the change should come from him. More over, there are plenty of people like this, and it'll be more to your own benefit to get at a point where it doesnt anger you. Don't say you have to become tolerant, but just in general... If he is unhappy, he has to make the change. If I type more I'm afraid of being offensive, so I'll stop here.

[Gunslinger-08]

No, I see what you're saying Moon.

But.... he's not even willing to try watching Arrested Development! D:

[Outrider]

Seriously though, at this point, fuck anime! I ONLY LIKE THE ART STYLE NOW! He's got to have an epiphany on that shit! Or open up his tastes for more things! I know in a lot of cases it was my older brother that ALWAYS and still does gets me to try new stuff.

It wasn't until college that I stopped caring so much about anime. Hilariously enough, it was because I went to a couple meetings of the campus anime club, could not put up with their bizarre fetish with Japan, and never returned. Granted, they were also incompetently disorganized, but it was mostly their behavior.

I think the last straw for me was when they said they would be showing the Animatrix during the meeting. So we sat down and they put on the DVD. Before playing the movie, they went into the settings and changed the language track to Japanese.

For a movie in which the original dub track was in English.

I just got up and walked out.




But.... he's not even willing to try watching Arrested Development! D:

Okay, no wait, there's something seriously wrong with him.

[CupOfCoffee]

Prognosis looks grim if he doesn't even want to try Arrested Development!

He may change eventually on his own. This is especially likely at college, where he's liable to meet a large number of people of varying sexes and levels of coolness (etc, etc) who will impress him as better examples than the one he's currently following. I agree that the antisocial weaboo is generally one of the less likable stereotypes, but unless he himself is unhappy with the way things are for him, you really have no right to try and "fix" him. Even if you did somehow convince him to start lifting weights and surfing and playing bass guitar and whatever the fuck else is cool, he'd still be an antisocial weaboo putting on a series of disguises until he actually wants to be somebody different.

[Heskett]

I used to be a pretty big of a weeb until I sat at my high school's Japanese Club. Biggest fucking freak show, ever. And yeah, I started to hate myself for taking three years of Japanese. Should have done German or some shit.

[NoiseHERO]

I used to be a pretty big of a weeb until I sat at my high school's Japanese Club. Biggest fucking freak show, ever. And yeah, I started to hate myself for taking three years of Japanese. Should have done German or some shit.

YES!

GERMANS RULE!

BECAUSE GERMAN CHICKS RULE!

GERMAN ACCENTS RULE!

SPECIFICALLY GERMAN CHICKS WITH GERMAN ACCENTS RULE!

[Sayara]

But would that make you a Germanieboo?

[NoiseHERO]

But would that make you a Germanieboo?

Nah I just like German accents. Well accents in general are kinda cute. Otherwise I don't know shit about germans. D:

[NegaTsukasa]

Prognosis looks grim if he doesn't even want to try Arrested Development!

He may change eventually on his own. This is especially likely at college, where he's liable to meet a large number of people of varying sexes and levels of coolness (etc, etc) who will impress him as better examples than the one he's currently following. I agree that the antisocial weaboo is generally one of the less likable stereotypes, but unless he himself is unhappy with the way things are for him, you really have no right to try and "fix" him. Even if you did somehow convince him to start lifting weights and surfing and playing bass guitar and whatever the fuck else is cool, he'd still be an antisocial weaboo putting on a series of disguises until he actually wants to be somebody different.

I'm siding with this one. as I would have worded it similarly.

[drizzle]

but unless he himself is unhappy with the way things are for him, you really have no right to try and "fix" him.

Another fine example of "freedom" gone way too far. He needs to stop being a freak and if he's not doing it himself then he needs to be helped. He's not alone in the world!

[BIG OLAF]

Another fine example of "freedom" gone way too far. He needs to stop being a freak and if he's not doing it himself then he needs to be helped. He's not alone in the world!

He's a freak because he doesn't share your view of what's "important" and "socially normal" in this world? Mhm.

[Slidikins]

But.... he's not even willing to try watching Arrested Development! D:

Baby steps, man. Baby steps.

You can't just jump him from anime to non-fiction as entertainment (for example.) You gotta share his interests a bit, then find something that branches into something else. I liked anime as a kid into high school myself. Started with Ranma and DBZ, then went watches pretty much everything that came out in the 90s. In the 00's I fell out of anime and switched to doramas. I felt they offered more than the few manga that I still liked (GTO was a big one, and branched me into dramas.)

After awhile, I felt that dramas were flat. I liked them as a medium, but doramas were so predictable and typical I just needed something.. more. That's when I started listening to my friends who were raving about Firefly, Heroes, Lost, etc... and just came to the conclusion that American dramas just have better writers. Once I realized that I was really interested in the writing, I just read books.

And then I realized that for the price of one volume of manga that I finish in 30 minutes, I could've been buying novels that last me a week+ instead.

---------------

Personal story aside, find out what he likes and, well, pursue it. Everything has an influence somewhere and he'll be interested in it. He listens to anime openings? Get him the albums from the same artists. He likes the genres obviously, but he'll still branch out of rabid fandom. He likes Naruto, Saiyuki, Gintama (sp?), , maybe he'll like the traditional mythology they pull most of their content from. Musashi is a damn long book, but if he loves samurai he may be interested. Another example is Basilisk. It's based entirely off of "The Kouga Ninja Scrolls," a novel from the mid-20th century. If he likes the manga he might want to read the source.

That's too heavily written? Shows like Onegai Teacher, .hack//, and Welcome to the N.H.K. (among many others) have simple, simple novels that accompany them. They're much better written than the anime adaptation, usually. A true fan would read them just to know the canon.

He thinks anime are well written. Maybe he's right, maybe he's wrong. Watch something with him and discuss it. It probably won't go well, but you would have at least tried and learned a bit of how he thinks.

As for his fitness... you can't even address that as long as his life is on that monitor. Once you break his shackles a bit you could start going outside. Go see The Secret World of Arrietty [I]in theaters, for instance.

[Outrider]

He's a freak because he doesn't share your view of what's "important" and "socially normal" in this world? Mhm.

I mean... the very definition of "socially normal" suggests that there are a set of social norms in a society, so in that case there really are behaviors defined as normal or abnormal.

Generally speaking, if your behavior complies with how the average members of society are acting, then by definition you are behaving normally.

Of course, whether you think those norms are right or wrong is a completely valid, though separate, discussion.

[Powder Keg]

Everyone has their own thing, and there is totally nothing wrong with being into Anime intros. It's social awkwardness or not being social at all I view as a problem. Communication is one of the most important things in life, whether it's society, a job, and especially family.

I started out pretty quiet and anti-social to most people up until my late high school years, not gonna lie. Being only 18, there's still a ways to grow though. I went through the same thing, barely feeling human because the things you're into is completely different than everyone around you. It's just about acceptance on both sides of the table that helps confidence and makes the social part a lot easier.

[NegaTsukasa]

I was thinking. How socially is he in general? He could have some mild form of Social Anxiety? Its one of the most common disorders in the world I believe, if not, the U.S. and a lot goes clinically untreated, and it can happen to anyone, any time, for any reason. something as simple as a major situation he had in his life whether you know it or not can activate this. something could've shifted his social characteristics waaaaay beyond influences in anime and junk. those are just additives.

what he likes, and how he communicates in general to people go hand in hand (how a community or niche of friendships are built), but are totally different on a basic level. you can still be social without talking about the things you like. I know you have lived with him most of your life, but I wouldn't be to quick to judge. he might be going through some long term/built up shit deep down he hasn't ever told anyone about and doesn't want to express or vent it any other way than what he is currently doing.

College is the big social jump. I'd wait to see how he is after a few months to a year in college before getting to terribly concerned.

[NoiseHERO]

I dunno if he tried (even though he might've failed) to confess to girls in the past.(Asian girls too? A lot of Asian girls are like ultra shy and hard to talk to. At least school girls around here that is. Maybe "out there" they're more like alternative white girls.) I'm sure he doesn't have it that bad in terms of being socially awkward.

I mean I'm socially awkward myself, but since I actually have a sense of humor I can make up for it and still get people to like me regardless of my shyness. Instead of people that are socially awkward BECAUSE they have no personality who are pretty much stuck until they find some kind of social status or something. Or even worse, Wannabe hipsters that fake being socially awkward, because being weird, different, and hard to understand is mainstream-level cool now.

Fortunately people that try to fake it are obvious. Because it's still easy to compare them to something else. People that actually are different... well I guess they just stand out better if they actually try to. But at the same time, some don't WANT to try. (Like underground music artists that want to STAY underground.) But in the end... That's the hardest route.


Conclusion to my almost pointless mostly personal rambling:


So your brother can make a fake face to make up for having no personality, Or he can casually show the world that he's interesting and worth being around, OR like everyone else said in this thread, if it's his choice to stay the way he is, then it's his life. I just don't think there's a lot of people that would WANT to be that way, if anything even if we don't have it as severe as he does to the point where we can separate ourselves from him we should understand it the most. Which is why I support you wanting to influence him ESPECIALLY since that's the job of and older brother or someones family and friends in general.

Anyway my posts are probably being ignored, I'm an ignorable(not a word) guy here. So that's the end of my walls of text, being one of many guys on this site who can relate to being an outcast.

edit: MY GOD YEAH that's a terrible wall of text.

[Gunslinger-08]

Yes, he's got a psychological disorder going on. Nothing extreme, but out of respect for him, I'll just say that it affects how he perceives and expresses moods and feelings.

What I want for him isn't just to be "normal," and I'm not calling him a freak for not fitting the mold of normal (whatever that means). I just want him to be willing to expand his horizons. It's fine if he tries something out and doesn't like it. I'm just wanting him to be willing to try it. For example, I was a very... fearful child growing up. I didn't ride my first roller coaster until I was in college, and it took me as long to go white water rafting (which is fucking amazing, btw) for the first time. My point is that there's so much out there worth taking a look at. I'm not sure I can help him with his troubles with women, but I don't think it's ever an easy thing for most guys.

As far as Arrested Development is concerned, I made a deal with him that I'd watch one episode of something he thought I needed to see in exchange for an episode of something I recommend. So now we're watching Arrested Development and Stein's Gate.

[Ceresa]

So where's your parents in all of this? I'd be pretty annoyed to have my brother on my case.

Have you asked your parents to stop stocking so much junk food? Buy him a cookbook and keep fresh food around and stop buying processed crap? Stop picking him up after school and make him walk (or at least suffer on the bus if it's range.) As a bonus a bottle of water a day is quite a bit cheaper than a gallon of gas.

Anime is a fine gateway though, once he gets money he'll be able to broaden his hobby to include figure collecting and model kits.

And leave a stick of Old Spice on his pillow.

[hbmizzle10]

if its that bad i suggest getting him some therapy if it gets any worse. professional help maybe

[Night_Raid]

So I pick up my brother today from his school. He's 18, grossly overweight, and exhibits less than stellar hygiene. As I start driving, I try to pick up a conversation like I usually do. I get a few curt answers that basically are telling me to stop talking to him, and he starts listening to his iPod. I've got the radio on, but turn it off out of curiosity.

What could he possibly be listening to?

Anime openings.

Anime openings the whole ride home.

This has just been a mental last straw kind of thing for me. He calls himself an "otaku" already, and has a list about five pages long of animes I should watch because they're amazing and have well-written stories.

So we get to the house. I've graduated from college, but live with my family because my job doesn't pay well enough or give me enough hours to even consider having my own place. He goes straight to his room and begins watching anime, which is is doing now, as I write this rant. He does this every day after school, and little else. Oh, he does eat, A LOT, if there's any food in the house he can eat out of a bag.

I've tried encouraging him to at least get some exercise, and to even switch up his routine. I don't have an issue with anime, Japanese culture, or any of that. I'm a regular on a forum for a fucking Japanese-made game series, FFS!

So my biggest concern right now is his health, both physically and socially. He's tried to ask girls out who he likes (guess what race he prefers!), and has been consistently turned down. My own track record with women perhaps don't give me a huge vantage point over where he stands, but I have been more successful than he's ever been.

So now I'm just sitting here at my keyboard, irritated and concerned. He's going to college in the fall, and I'm worried he's just going to be a socially awkward cave troll who skips classes and sits on his ass all day eating chips. In some ways, it would be similar to how I started my college freshman year, but I lucked out and made friends who helped me turn around my bad habits involving hygiene, being sociable and being more outgoing.

I'm not perfect, and there may even be a little hypocrisy in all of this, but I was at a point where I simply needed to vent, and a semi-anonymous game forum seems pretty perfect for it.

Now excuse me while I find a helmet just in case this thread gets a little crazy.

*Leave for a couple years*
*Come back to this*
*I lol'd, hard*
You sir, are a gentlemen and a scholar.