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View Full Version : The best of the best yo mamma jokes.Every joke i know!!



PSOLEGEND1001
Apr 11, 2003, 03:35 PM
MY JOKES LIST OF HUMILIATION.
yo mamma's so fat....she is 36-24-36....but that is her forearm, neck and thigh.
yo mamma's so fat, when she dances she makes the band skip...
yo mamma's so stupid she failed a survey.....
yo mamma's so stupid she got stabbed at shootout...
yo mamma's so stupid it takes her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes...
yo mamma's so damn ugly she makes blind children cry...
yo mamma's so old she used to baby-sit yoda..
yo mama's so fat when she hauls ass she makes two trips...
yo mama's so fat she is taller when she is laying down...
yo mama's so fat, instead of wearing levi's 501 jeansshe wears levi's 1002's.
yo mama's so fat she deep-fries her toothpaste.
yo mama's so ugly it looks like some one hit her with the ugly stick..
yo mama's so ugly, they didn't hit her with the ugly stick, they hit her with the ugly log...
yo mama's so ugly it looks like she ran through the ugly forest..
yo mama's so ugly they rub tree branches on her face to make ugly sticks
yo mamma so fat that she has Amtrak tattoed on her ankle.
yo mamma so fat that when she went on a seafood diet....every time she saw food she ate it.
yo mamma so dumb that she put a quarter in the parking meter and thought a gumball would come out!
yo mamma is so fat that she has to be measured on the richter scale!
yo mama so fat when she jumped in the ocean the whales started singing "WE ARE F A M I L Y".
yo mama's so fat she can stand up and lay down and her height doesn't change..
yo mama's so fat, I've got to tell two snaps just to cover her fat ass....
yo mama's so fat she uses diet soap..
yo mama's so big, her belly button has an echo...
yo mama's so stupid she spent 20 minutes looking at an oarange juice box because it said "concentrate"
yo mama's so stupid she thought grape nuts was an STD...
yo mama's so stupid she took a drug test and failed...
yo mamma is so stupid she threw a clock out the window to see time fly
yo mamma is pants are so tight when she put a dollar in her pants 4 quarters came out
yo mamma is so stupid she tried to put M&Ms in A,B,C order
yo mamma is old she farts dust
yo mamma is teeth are so yellow when she crossed the street cars slowed down
yo mamma is so fat her belt size is the equator
yo mamma is so black that when she attended night school they marked her absent
yo mamma is so stupid it took her 1 hour to cook minute rice.
yo mama's so fat she can't wear a g-string, she wears a A, B, C, D, E, F, G-string....
yo mama's so fat when I said I wanted "Pigs in a Blanket" she got back in bed....
yo mama's so fat she doesn't have love handles she has a roll bar...
yo mama's so fat, she's got smaller fat women orbiting around her...
yo mama's so fat, people jog around her for exercise...
yo mama's so fat I saw a picture of her in a magazine on picture 4,5,6,7 and 8
yo mamma is like a brick, flat on both sides, and always gets laid.
yo mamma is so big she plays hopscotch by going "washingon, texas, maine
yo mamma is like a door knob, everybody gets a turn
yo mamma is like 7-11: open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year
yo mamma is so dumb she thought a quarterback was a refund
yo mamma is so fat when she jumps up in the air she get stuck
yo mamma is so dumb, I said it was chili outside, she grabbed a bowl
yo mamma is so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction
yo mamma is so fat her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky
yo mama's so fat she has to put a belt on with a boomerang..
she is so fat she could sell shade....
she is so fat when she came up missing they put her on the milk truck....
she is so fat she fills up the bath tub, then she turns on the water..
she is so fat she puts mayonaise on aspirin...
she is so fat her favorite food is seconds...
she is so ugly people hang a picture of her in their car so their radio's don't get stolen....
she is so ugly I took her to a haunted house and she came out with a job application...
yo house is so poor when i rang the door bell the toilet flushed
yo mamma so fat, Goodyear wants her to join the fleet
yo mamma like an elevator, everyone gets on and goes up and down
yo mamma so big she has her own zipcode
yo mamma so big when she wore a malcom X shirt helicoptere were landing on her
yo mamma so fat when she wore a red t-shirt, kids said "hey there goes kool-aid
yo mamma is so stupid she wound up giving birth to you
yo mamma so stupid she thought masturbation was a karate teacher
yo mama's so ugly when she fell out of the ugly tree it looks like she hit every branch on the way down..
yo mama's so ugly, rice crispeis won't talk to her....
yo mama's so ugly she scared the monster out of lock ness...
yo mama's so ugly her pillow cries at night...
yo mama's so ugly when she gets up, the sun goes down....
yo mama's so ugly she could scare the chrome off of a bumper...
yo mama's so fat she makes big bird look like a rubber duck....
yo mama's so fat when she gets in an elevator it HAS to go down...
yo mama's so fat she shops for clothes at the local tent shop.....
yo mamma is fat the last time she saw 90210 was on the bathroom scale
yo mamma is fat she uses a matress for a tampon
yo mamma is like a vacuum cleaner, she sucks and blows then gets layed in the closet
yo mamma is so tall, when she did a back flip, she kicked Jesus in the mouth
yo mamma is so fat that when god said "let there be light" about 5 seconds later he said "move yo fat ass out of the way
yo mamma is like a hockey goalie she wears the same pads for three periods
yo mamma is like a bowling ball- she gets picked up, fingered and thrown back into the gutter
yo mama's so old, her memory is in black and white.
yo mama's so old, I told her to act her age and she died.
yo mama's so old, Jurassic Park brought back memories.
yo mama's so old, she DJ'd at the Boston Tea Party.
Yo mamma is so old she knew Burger King when he was still a prince!
yo mamma is the crisco kid, a little fat in the can.
yo mamma is so stupid, she stared at a bottle of orange juice for 2 hours cuz it said "concentrate"
yo mamma is so stupid, she got locked in a grocery store and starved.
yo mamma is so fat, she jumps in a pool and the water jumps out
yo mamma is so fat, when she goes downtown the town goes down with her
You are so ugly, when you were born the doctor slapped your mother.
yo momma so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends
yo momma so ugly her parents had to tie a porkchop around her neck to get the dog to play with her.
yo momma so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower
yo mama is so dirty when the colonel yelled hit the dirt everyone punched yo mama.
yo momma so hairy...u almost died of carpet burns when u were born.
yo momma is so stupid that she got locked in a bathroom and pissed her pants
yo mommas is so fat she uses a vcr for a beeper
yo mommas is so stupid she got hit by a parked car
yo mommas so ugly she could trick or treat everyday of the year
yo mommas so ugly the moved halloween to her birthday
yo mommas so fat she sat on a rainbow and skittles popped out
yo mommas so old her social securtiy number is 1
yo mommas so fat when jesus said "let there be light" she moved
yo mama's so fat her blood type is ragu..
yo mama's so fat she sat on a dollar and made four quarters..
yo mama's so fat when she sat on a quarter and squeezed a booger out of george washingtons nose...
yo mama's so stuipid she thought a quarterback was a refund..
yo mama's so so short you can see her head and feet in her driver's license...
yo mama's so short she can high dive off of a midget's dick...
yo mama's so old she used to gang-bang with the flintsones..
yo mama's so old she owes jesus a nickel...
yo mama's so old she remembers when rainbows were black and white..
yo mama's so stupid, she needed a tutor to learn how to scribble
yo mama's so stupid, she ordered a cheese burger from McDonald's and said "Hold the cheese."
yo mama's so stupid, she ordered her sushi well done
yo mama's so stupid, she put a peephole in a glass door
yo mamma is so foul, the last time she got a piece of ass was when her hand slipped through the tiolet paper
yo mamma is so fat they had to take 4 photos of her whole body:waist, legs, arms and head
yo mamma so stupid she starved in a supermarket
yo mamma is so smelly roaches check in but they do not check out of your mammas drawers
yo house is so poor when i stepped on a cigarette yo mamma said who turned off the heat
yo mamma is so fat when she stepped on a scale it said to be continued.
yo mama's so stupid, she put on a coat to chew winterfresh gum
yo mama's so stupid, she ran out of gas leaving Texaco
yo mama's so stupid, she said "what's that letter after x" and I said Y she said "Cause I want to know"
yo mama's so stupid, she sent me a fax with a stamp on it
yo mama's so stupid, she sold the car for gas money
yo mama's so stupid, she sold the house to pay the mortgage
yo mama's so stupid, she stands up on an empty bus
yo mama's so fat I have to take 12 steps back just to see her whole body..
yo mama's so fat she is 34-26-34, and her other arm is just as big...
yo mama's so stupid she tried to hang herself with a cordless phone...
yo mama's so stupid she stood outside with her purse open because she was told that there was change in the weather...
yo mama's so fat she plays pool with with our solar system...
yo mama's so fat, when she was diagnosed with a flesh eating disease, the doctor gave her 10 years to live...
yo mama's so fat, whenever your father mounts her, his ears pop...
yo mama's so fat, everytime she wears high heels she strikes oil...
yo mama's so fat, her drivers lisence says "Picture continued on reverse side"...
yo mama's so fat, whenever she goes to an office she is told to pull up a sofa...
yo mama's so fat, she has to wear a three-piece bathing suit...
yo mama's so fat, her nickname is "DAMN"..
yo mama's os fat, the back of her neck looks like a pack of hotdogs..
yo mama's so fat when she stepped on a talking scale it said "Please step out of the car."...
yo mama's so fat, when she takes a shower her feet don't get wet...
yo mama's so fat, when she goes swimming, she leaves stretch marks in the pool..
yo mama's so fat, she couldn't even jump to a conclusion...
yo mama's so fat, she masturbates while reading cookbooks...
yo mama's so fat, she wears a hula-hoop for a belly-button ring...
yo mama's so fat, her belly-button doesn't have lint, it has sweaters...
yo mama's so fat, when she sat in BigFoot and turned it into a low-rider...

Well,you do not need to post cause i think i said every joke in the world.This is every joke i know,remember its No offense.Sorry if some joke are offensive or sick.Thanks in advance!!!!

The_Hero_Of_Time
Apr 11, 2003, 03:38 PM
holy shite, in know you didnt write all those.

Ness
Apr 11, 2003, 03:44 PM
Yo mama's so slutty, she sttod on a box of weaties with her legs open saying "Breakfast for the champs"

If you lined up all your mothers sex partners, it would strecth from New York to New Zealand.

Yo mama is so slutty, I could have been you daddy, but the guy behind me had correct change.

Yo mama is so fat her scale says," to be continued".

You mama is so dumb, she went to the gap to get her teeth fixed.


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Ness on 2003-04-11 13:50 ]</font>

LordCronai
Apr 11, 2003, 03:46 PM
You wrote a rant about my mother? =P

Yeah, well, your momma's so stupid she called you a son of a bitch.

Quote me on that, I made it myself http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wink.gif

PSOLEGEND1001
Apr 11, 2003, 05:44 PM
On 2003-04-11 13:46, LordCronai wrote:
You wrote a rant about my mother? =P

Yeah, well, your momma's so stupid she called you a son of a bitch.

Quote me on that, I made it myself http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wink.gif


beautiful

Shattered_weasel
Apr 11, 2003, 06:03 PM
Your mama's so fat the only thing stopin her from gettin into Jenny Craig is the door

Ness
Apr 11, 2003, 07:51 PM
Your mom is so dumb that she got locked in an oxygen store and suffocated.

RogueXero
Apr 11, 2003, 08:35 PM
Whoa, someone has a lot of spare time. Oh yeah, that son of a bitch one was good. Lol.

RX8
Apr 11, 2003, 09:07 PM
Yo mama so fat she plays pool wit the planets.

your so dumb you made a peep hole in a glass door.

You so fat the only time you see "96744" is on the scale.

(dunno if you had em on your list:) hella too long to read)

brillyfresh
Apr 12, 2003, 12:51 AM
yo mama's so fat, she has smaller fat people orbiting around her

yo mama's so fat, when she gets a cut, she bleeds Ragu

yo mama's so fat, when she pops a zit, mayonnaise pours out

...

...

funny, but WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH RANTS???? lol

Guntz348
Apr 12, 2003, 12:59 AM
I didn't my favorite one:

Your mommas so skanky, she gets sour dough yeast infections!

LamerPanda
Apr 13, 2003, 08:20 PM
On 2003-04-11 17:51, Ness wrote:
Your mom is so dumb that she got locked in an oxygen store and suffocated.



...oxygen store? O_o


yo mommas so fat when jesus said "let there be light" she moved

I thought that was God, but then again you could go in to a whole theological debate over this and I'm too lazy to bother with one.


yo house is so poor when i rang the door bell the toilet flushed

Wait, that doesn't start with "Yo mama" at all!

Yeah, this isn't really much of a rant, but where would it go? Off-topic?

Omni-SqwirL
Apr 14, 2003, 09:52 AM
Yo momma so fat....she be fat

Now that's straight to the point, ghetto style http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wink.gif

(I'm white....shhhhhhhhh)

SorceressofTime
Apr 14, 2003, 10:54 AM
On 2003-04-13 18:20, LamerPanda wrote:

Yeah, this isn't really much of a rant, but where would it go? Off-topic?



off-topic or fresh kills. same thing. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

CGoodness
Apr 14, 2003, 07:42 PM
I could have been your mom's dad, but the dog beat me up the stairs.

GyroidFanatic
Apr 14, 2003, 08:26 PM
Yo mamma's so fat, she has more Chin's than a Chinese Phone Book.