Spooky Cave Adventure

[PhotonDrop]

You stand before a cave. The entrance is two arm-lengths wide but is low enough to where you need to duck down to get in. You've hiked a great distance to get here but something doesn't seem right, like it doesn't match up with the description given by the old man back in town. In the distance you can hear a waterfall.

What do?

[mctastee]

2spooky4me

[CelestialBlade]

*gets back in her truck*

*leaves*

[PhotonDrop]

You want to go back in your truck but it was an awfully long walk to get here. Fighting your anxiety you decide to peek inside the cave. There seems to be a gentle breeze coming from within.

[Vampy]

-goes inside the cave-

[Arksenth]

My underpants are damp from the humidity!

Better take them off!

[Vampy]

Keep them on!

[yoshiblue]

Gentle breeze. Must be my spirit animal calling to me.

[PhotonDrop]

You enter the cave, ducking down just enough so you don't bump your head. The area you can see seems simple enough, bits of moss are growing along the walls and the ground seems to slope downward. The light coming in from the entrance doesn't reach far and you soon find yourself standing in darkness.

For some reason you feel this is a perfect time to take off your panties.

[Gardios]

Let's put the panties on our head to protect us from falling debris!

[Vampy]

I like my panties though D:

[Arksenth]

Take the panties off again and wrap them in a phallic looking torch to light on fire for illumination!

[Vampy]

You take them off me then I'm perfectly alright having mine on.

[PhotonDrop]

The room opens up quite a bit, allowing you to stand up. You can feel drips of water coming from above so you decide to put your panties on your head. As your eyes adjust to the darkness you look around in the dark room. Shallow puddles are scattered around the floor and there seems to be a pair of pants with a bunch of gear hooked to the waist.

[HeartBreak301]

Burn the pants as a torch instead.

[Nitro Vordex]

Get ye flask.

[PhotonDrop]

Reaching for the pants you go to pull your lighter from your pocket. When your hand slaps against your naked thigh you realise,"Silly me, these are MY pants!" You begin to question the idea of burning them for light.

You pick up your pants. All of your gear is here, a flashlight, a pocket knife, compass, :wacko: wafers, your lighter, and of course your trusty flask.

[Nitro Vordex]

Drink ye flask.

[SpikeOtacon]

http://i.imgur.com/hXJwd3b.jpg

[PhotonDrop]

Ah ye flask, your oldest friend. It has never let you down. You take a drink when you hear foot steps coming from deeper in the cave.

"Oh look it's a naked person" a woman calls out, shining a flashlight in your direction.

"Some kinda hippie naturalist, eh?" a man adds,"Nah I'm just joshing you pal, I can relate. Sometimes ya just need to strip down and take it all in right?"

You can't see shit since they just blinded you with their flashlights but you're pretty sure they're at least clothed.

[Nitro Vordex]

Don't respond. Drink ye flask.

[PhotonDrop]

You continue drinking from your flask.

"Hahaha okay then bud. Have fun." the man laughs.

As the two walk past you begin to feel that something is off. You swear you hear something rattling. As the pair leave the cave you can see their clothes are tattered and that they are skeletons.

[yoshiblue]

Hmm...is this place Tartarus?

[Gardios]

Skeletons? Drunk from the flask already.

[Arksenth]

Try stripping seductively for the skeletons, and then drag them behind the school bleachers!

[PhotonDrop]

You shrug it off remembering ye flask always has the good stuff in it. For some reason you decide to take off the rest of your clothes. The gentle breeze feels nice against your bare skin. It beckons you deeper into the cave. Your eyes re-adjust to the darkness and you continue onward.

[yoshiblue]

Wait a minute, I forgot my watch.

[Nitro Vordex]

Put your clothes back on. How are you going to carry supplies?

Put ye flask away, for now.

[PhotonDrop]

In a moment of clarity you go back and put your clothes back on. You shine your flash light down the tunnel follow where it goes. The rock is slippery but there are pads of moss just the right size to walk along. This must be how you didn't hear those people coming until the last moment. The tunnel opens up into a wide cavern with a stream running through.

The trail splits to the left and to the right from here. You see another pathway across the stream.

[yoshiblue]

Inner fish tells me to follow the stream. Civilization is always near water.

[PhotonDrop]

You follow the stream to the left. this side ends abruptly after 20 feet. The stream seems to flow underground here.

You here something splash in the water behind you.

[Nitro Vordex]

Turn around, put your dukes up.

[yoshiblue]

Dramatic slow turning.

[Gardios]

This is what happens if you put your clothes back on.

[PhotonDrop]

You are startled by the sudden sound and drop your flashlight. You turn slowly putting up your dukes ready to sock any amphibious menace. Briefly you consider maybe stripping back down to fight as the Romans did. In the darkness you can barely make out a ripple in the stream. As you pick up your flashlight and shine it toward the stream you see a pale yellow, webbed hand reaching up onto the walk way.

[Nitro Vordex]

Back up a little, out of reach. Watch the hand. PREPARE TO FIGHT.

[yoshiblue]

Fight fear by humming your favorite fighting theme in a horrible tune.

[PhotonDrop]

You begin to hum Guile's theme as this bizarre fish man lifts himself out of the stream. The beast's fishy lips begin to move, perfectly mimicking human speech,"Ah bro is that Guile's theme? LAWL. That's hella epic."

[Nitro Vordex]

Immediately switch to Never Gonna Give You Up to catch him off guard.

[Arksenth]

Strip seductively and ask him to shower you in dollar bills!

[HAYABUSA-FMW-]

Damn you think a fish man, right out of the water, talking to you surprisingly in your own language...

-would also be a strip club customer with dollar bills in your people's currency?!

Action -> Ask him to make change for a dollar so you can go play some Guile.

[PhotonDrop]

You ask the fish man if he has change for a dollar.

"We don't need money to play." he explains,"Unless you are asking for a money match?"

Not really knowing how to process this situation you begin humming Rick Astley.

The fishman begins screaming and holding his webbed hands over his fishy ears,"Ohemeffgee! I've been rickrolled! Le mayo!"

He retreats into the stream, disappearing beneath the surface.

[yoshiblue]

Now to see if there's a secret switch on the wall.

[Arksenth]

Practice your stripping now! Got to bring home the bacon somehow!

[PhotonDrop]

You begin examining the cave wall for a hidden switch. With the haunting tune of Rick Astley stuck in your head you cannot help but sway your hips. There appears to be nothing here to indicate there is a hidden passage. You begin to playfully unzip your shirt as the beat overtakes you. You are caught off guard as a cold, wet hand grabs your leg and pulls you toward the stream.

[Arksenth]

Fondle the hand, purr "hey, big boy", and start moving the hand up your leg!

[yoshiblue]

Use the improv' skills learned while training for "Who's Line Is It Anyways" to escape.

[PhotonDrop]

As the fishman pulls you toward a certain watery grave you hear a buzzer. Drew Carey appears and produces a top hat themed after the American flag. "Our next game is scenes from a hat." he explains,"Before each show we ask the audience scenes they'd like to see starting with..."

"Things you'll never hear a black woman yell out during a horror movie."

Taking the initiative you step out on stage first,"Go in that room, it's perfectly safe!"

The fishman trades places with you, chuckling to himself. He regains his composure and shouts,"Here comes the army! Everything's going to be okay now!"

The buzzer cues the end of the game and the fishman looks around to notice that you've ran away long ago.

[Arksenth]

Run into a janitor's office full of golden sentient statues of hot buff men who all ravish you!

[yoshiblue]

Guess while we're humming tunes and improving, may as well and pull a Kronk. By trying to be stealthy while singing my own them.

[Nitro Vordex]

Only one thing to do.

Get ye flask.

[yoshiblue]

Ponder how much is left in the flask.

[PhotonDrop]

You escaped from the creature from the black lagoon's newfig cousin. This calls for a celebration! You reach ye flask only to find it is missing from your belt. It must have fallen when you made your getaway. You weigh the options, get ye flask and possibly die or go without ye flask and possibly die.

[yoshiblue]

Consult with the magic conch.

[chaoko99]

the magic conch says..

"plough relina the first time you see her."

[Nitro Vordex]

Go get your flask you clumsy buffoon.

[PhotonDrop]

You go back to face certain death, rationalizing it is better to do so on your terms than to be hunted like an animal. You puff up your chest and walk back like some kind of tough guy. You see the fishman crouched over something. Your flask! Your presence is noticed, the fishman stands up, clutching your flask in his slimy webbed fingers. You tell him to give back your flask.

"Lawl scrub try and take it I body you free." he taunts.

(Sorry about the wait, I've been busy.)

[Arksenth]

Strip for the fishman in exchange for the flask!!!

[yoshiblue]

Beat him up with nostalgic tunes.
[SPOILER-BOX]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GIYR7mq3PJQ"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2AFqYeXKK3I[/SPOILER-BOX]

[Arksenth]

Strip to nostalgic tunes!

[Gardios]

Strip the fishman.

Strip his skin.

[PhotonDrop]

You are consumed by wrath as this arrogant fishman dares you to take back your flask. You run toward him with a righteous fury and deliver a solid punch to his jaw while screaming,"Bionic ARM!!"

The fishman is caught by surprise and is knocked into a Samba di Amigo machine, irreparably breaking it. Triumphant, you pick up your flask and take a swig.

[yoshiblue]

Should attempt to bag the Samba machine. Never know what parts will come in handy in the future.

[PhotonDrop]

As you move toward the Samba di Amigo machine Cave Security appears. The nice men escort you out of the cave for unnecessary violence. You go to drink from your flask only to realize it's empty. You shrug and venture off to find the nearest bonfire.

End of the Spooky Cave Adventure.

[yoshiblue]

I cri evertim