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-Z
Jun 5, 2016, 06:41 PM
What seems to be troubling you, FKL?

Sord
Jun 6, 2016, 06:25 PM
My nostalgia has been blasted with a sawed off shotgun.

yoshiblue
Jun 6, 2016, 06:40 PM
Should get that checked out.

-Z
Jun 6, 2016, 09:10 PM
My nostalgia has been blasted with a sawed off shotgun.
You seem to be suffering from penetrating emotional trauma. Two weeks of antibiotics should clear that up- I've conveniently delivered your prescription to be picked up here (https://www.google.com/maps/place/Mariana+Trench/@17.6270391,138.000895,6z/data=!3m1!4b1!4m5!3m4!1s0x67328f3cd57de715:0x1bbe6 4e7a21aa7fc!8m2!3d17.75!4d142.5)

Be sure to follow up next week!

Who's next in line?

PhotonDrop
Jun 6, 2016, 09:50 PM
I stubbed my toe. :argh:

EJ
Jun 6, 2016, 11:15 PM
I remember FKL being more active or I am just getting old and forgetful.

Sord
Jun 7, 2016, 04:36 AM
You seem to be suffering from penetrating emotional trauma. Two weeks of antibiotics should clear that up- I've conveniently delivered your prescription to be picked up here (https://www.google.com/maps/place/Mariana+Trench/@17.6270391,138.000895,6z/data=!3m1!4b1!4m5!3m4!1s0x67328f3cd57de715:0x1bbe6 4e7a21aa7fc!8m2!3d17.75!4d142.5)

Be sure to follow up next week!

Who's next in line?
Well, I'm only diving if I get to ride in a yellow submarine.


I remember FKL being more active or I am just getting old and forgetful.
Used to be more active. But you're also still old.

-Z
Jun 7, 2016, 07:15 PM
I stubbed my toe. :argh:

I'm sorry maam, I'm very busy assisting another patient, please wait.

-Z
Jun 7, 2016, 07:20 PM
Yes yes, thank you for your patience, please come in.


I stubbed my toe. :argh:

Oh.

Ma'am, I'm terribly sorry- you've fallen to a serious condition. With your permission, my medical advice is immediate admission to a critical care unit- where you'll be provided intravenous fluids, morphine, and dialysis. We also have hospice services available, if you prefer.

I'm very sorry, again. How's your insurance, by the way?


Next in line, please!

Zorafim
Jun 7, 2016, 09:44 PM
I've been tired the last couple of weeks. I have fans of my writing that I'm letting down.

-Z
Jun 8, 2016, 06:34 PM
I've been tired the last couple of weeks. I have fans of my writing that I'm letting down.
I'd like to do an abdominal X-Ray. I believe your colon may have twisted upon itself and now excrement is backing up into your fingers and brain. This condition actually effects many writers. Politicians, too.

In the meantime, I'll prescribe you Sildenafil; (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Viagra_(disambiguation)) you won't be letting anyone down after that!

Alternatively, you could try typing with your toes, where the stool hasn't accumulated yet.

Next patient?

Anduril
Jun 8, 2016, 07:24 PM
The sun makes me recoil, and the sound of frolicking children and teenagers hurts my ears. Please help me.

-Z
Jun 9, 2016, 07:37 PM
The sun makes me recoil, and the sound of frolicking children and teenagers hurts my ears. Please help me.

I'd like to issue a pregnancy test. All of your skin's natural SPF(tm) is being directed to the fetus, and the sounds of children that you hear are actually the fetus itself whispering to you. Amniotic fluid has tremendously good acoustics, as it turns out.

I'll also prescribe you a dueling sabre, as your child may come to challenge you for dominance.

Anyone else in the waiting room?

Anduril
Jun 9, 2016, 08:06 PM
I'd like to issue a pregnancy test. All of your skin's natural SPF(tm) is being directed to the fetus, and the sounds of children that you hear are actually the fetus itself whispering to you. Amniotic fluid has tremendously good acoustics, as it turns out.

I'll also prescribe you a dueling sabre, as your child may come to challenge you for dominance.

Anyone else in the waiting room? Wait, does this mean I'm Arnold Schwarzenegger? If that's the case, I don't think I'll need the sabre.

PhotonDrop
Jun 10, 2016, 09:11 PM
Yes yes, thank you for your patience, please come in.



Oh.

Ma'am, I'm terribly sorry- you've fallen to a serious condition. With your permission, my medical advice is immediate admission to a critical care unit- where you'll be provided intravenous fluids, morphine, and dialysis. We also have hospice services available, if you prefer.

I'm very sorry, again. How's your insurance, by the way?


Next in line, please!

Just kill me now.

Sord
Jun 10, 2016, 11:09 PM
Would you prefer lethal injection, decapitation, or gun?

PhotonDrop
Jun 11, 2016, 01:44 AM
Are those my only options? They're all so boring.

Sord
Jun 11, 2016, 02:38 AM
Are those my only options? They're all so boring.

Well gee, sor-ry not all us hospitals can afford the best in creative deaths. Some of us operate on rather small budgets, ya know :<

PhotonDrop
Jun 11, 2016, 04:34 AM
Surely you have a pit of vipers around here somewhere? Or a deadly laser? Perhaps some swinging log traps?

Sord
Jun 11, 2016, 03:00 PM
We could perhaps have you swallow several small metal balls then run you through an MRI so the spheres just bust out of you...

PhotonDrop
Jun 11, 2016, 04:02 PM
That sounds like it would take for-ev-errrrrrrrrr! Oh forget it. This is such a hassle! Gosh! :disapprove:

Sord
Jun 11, 2016, 06:31 PM
That sounds like it would take for-ev-errrrrrrrrr! Oh forget it. This is such a hassle! Gosh! :disapprove:

Sorry. With any luck, perhaps you will become bored to death...

PhotonDrop
Jun 11, 2016, 07:29 PM
I have more questions. For starters, if I were to find the right euthanasia, would I be able to donate my body to science?

Sord
Jun 11, 2016, 09:30 PM
Well, that'd really depend on your method of death, and maybe the method of science.

Also yay, I am Sord again.

PhotonDrop
Jun 11, 2016, 09:46 PM
Well, you've touched on my next question. If my body were in "good" condition after death, what does "donate to science" entail? How many people would have access to my

You know what, these questions are probably better suited for the doctor. Who are you anyway?

Sord
Jun 12, 2016, 12:41 AM
Well, you've touched on my next question. If my body were in "good" condition after death, what does "donate to science" entail? How many people would have access to my

You know what, these questions are probably better suited for the doctor. Who are you anyway?

Well, you see, it's hot outside these days. But the air conditioning in the waiting room is nice so I just chill out here sometimes.

-Z
Jun 14, 2016, 08:49 PM
Well, you've touched on my next question. If my body were in "good" condition after death, what does "donate to science" entail? How many people would have access to my

You know what, these questions are probably better suited for the doctor. Who are you anyway?

I understand and respect your wishes. I will also prescribe you Sildenafil, RxAllTheMiligrams, which should draw blood away from your head long enough to induce brain death. If you experience an erection lasting more than 4 hours, this indicates it's working.

As for your body, medical professionals will first and foremost study what exactly it is that will enlarge or erect. We actually have a small betting pool going, if you'd like to get in on that.

PhotonDrop
Jun 16, 2016, 01:10 PM
That's very lewd! :disapprove:

Sef
Jul 1, 2016, 10:42 AM
I'm seeing a lot of dead people.

Or maybe I'm dead.

Am I dead?