Sagasu
06-10-2003, 04:31 PM
Ok, I screwed with the last one, I'm fixin it so you will see F.A 1&2 revised a little later, problably after the summer. This is a new one, different plot and everythin, new chars too. Ok, I started this to be told what is wrong with the way I right, punctuation, paragraph fromat, dialouge, structure. ANythin that irked you that was wrong.
K, Here it is
------------------Fight for Life---------------------
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Sarunakai~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
_____________________Chapter 1_______________________
``````The pioneer project, a weakening, or a soulution? These where the thoughts of many officials, they argued, and debated, but they let them come anyways. The hunters, the military could not handle the threat, so the Hunters where brought in to help. But Hunters aren't appreciated, like freaks, or super heros, the Hunters came, and eliminated the threat, but uncovered truths not found by the people, things quieted over by the military and the scientists.
````````They had their hands full, answering civillian questions, and paying off the Hunters, but now they where all there, they wouldn't just leave quietly, but decided to stay against military rule. Responses where not good for the hunters, warnings had been posted, stating stuff like
``````"They are cruel, and will work for any cause, helping, or assassinating, they will do without thought, beware."
```````Civillians where confused, the Hunters had saved them hadn't they? A few officials such as the principal and Red Ring Rico are with the hunters, but the people had grown to accustomed to listening, following blindly, and most where convinced that the Hunters where there for nothing but their destruction.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
```````Gahn sat at the edge of his bed, the dark room around him wasn't large, smaller than the old hotel rooms even. It was early, and he had recieved a message that flashed red. He activated his comm. unit and selected the message to play, a hologram of Red Ring Rico appeared.
`````````"Every Hunter needs to gather inside the reconstruction of the Central Dome, this is urgent, you must be here within a limit of forty beats maximum, details will be provided at the meeting."
`````````"What the? This can't be good."
```````He stood and dressed up into his black and blue HUmar outfit, and took leave of his temporary home.
```````As Gahn snuck silently along the shadows of the dark shift{A period of time that most lights are cut and a clear artificial sky view of the different homeworlds.} he could se a few other hunters,{Hunters:Hunters/Forces/and Rangers} moving towards the hidden Hunter teleporter. The Hunter teleporter is hidden from the Military and civillians alike, for usage for easy acess to the planet without intefierence. He reached the closest one to him and selected the holographic image of the Central Dome, under construction. Then Gahn watched the dark sorroundings vanish around him. Gahn matierialized at one of the seven main teleporters, and headed down the partially built corridors. He reached a large door, he could not hear a word or noise from the inside, good. When he entered he was greeted by the following picture, hundreds of Hunters stood silently, only a few turned when he entered, the others just stared intently at Red Ring Rico. Androids, Humans, Newmans,Hunters, Rangers, Forces, all where gathered in this single huge chamber, to him, they seemd to be an easy target. Red Ring Rico nodded to them and began,
```````"The dangers of what hospitality is left within the military has collasped, and the danger all the more great. I don't know how many of you have something to go back to, but we are not welcome, we never have been, but now they will fight to get rid of us."
```````She paused for a moment for her words to sink in, some Hunters faltered, swore, but most knew more was to come.
``````"But, they have the strongest advantage......civillians. If nessesary, they will use them as a shield, I myself cannot think of all the solutions, or win this fight against them."
````````An angry voice sounded out across the room,
"I won't let them! We saved their pathetic asses and this is how they repay us? I say we fight back, they can't beat us!"
```````````Red Ring Rico was about to start but Gahn cut in,
```````"Are you willing to kill civillians just to get back at this small amount of a force?"
````````The guy shoved his way over to him, so he was in his face,
``````"Why not, theres more of them anyway"
````"More civillians, and a much larger Military force, didn't you even consider that they might call for back up and then here comes Pioneer 3&4 loaded with soldiers to slaughter us all."
``````He backed up, and Red Ring Rico broke in,
"He is right, we are misunderstood, and there isn't enough of us to fight all of them. We need to somehow get the civillians with us, and then the Government and the Military can't pull their plan off. Yes, the Military has posted that any Hunter seen is to be captured, and if they resist, to be kil--"
`````````The meeting was interrupted by an explosion, soldiers spilled into the room from each side, they where totally sorrounded.
``````"Drop your personal storages{Where all weapons, armor, and mags are kept or anything else} and you won't be hurt"
````````Many of them made mad dashes to the teleporters, only to find them locked down, and several where filled with photon energy.
```````"Raise your hands, not behind your head, just straight up"
Most complied, and several soldiers came around binding arms behind backs and then to the person next to them. Gahn was bound to a HUnewearl, she turned her head from the soldier and spit on the ground. Strong prided hunters fought back, and killed several soldiers, and teh HUnewearl bound to him revoked and rammed to nearest guard pulling him after her.
````````"Come on!"
`````They manuevered best they could and made their way to the back, there he managed to break free from the restraint. She ran at the group of soldiers, and locked in combat, himself, he looked for another way out. Large metal frames curved upwards in the shape of a dome, at the top it was unfinished, and there was an opening. Gahn grabbed hold onto the curved metal frame, end hauled himself upwards. He got pretty far before he was hit, blood poured down from his shoulder to the crowd below. Afraid one might escape, the amount of fire attentioned at him increased greatly. He was almost to the top when he was struck several times, twice in the back, once in the shoulder again, and two more times in his leg. When he was shot he lost his balance, holding on by his left arm he swayed. Recieving several more injuries, but now falling. Gahn struggled and pulled himself through the breach in the unfinished desighn. He sat for a moment, breathing hard, his eyes clouded, blinded for a moment. Gahn shook his head and descended carefully down the southern side of the dome. Gahn made it halfway down before looking down, there was a river, and soldiers. He tried to jump but as he was about to a photon bullet landed into his chest. His unconcious body fell, hitting the rail and falling into the river.
````````Gahn couldn't even open his eyes, too painfull, he was surpirsed he was even alive. He tried to lift his arm, he did for a time before passing out from pain. Next time Gahn woke up he spit up blood, adding to the already awfull taste in his mouth. He felt an obhect pressed to his lips,
`````````"Drink"
He did, the water flowed down his throat, like new energy, refreashing to the point that he could think now. The voice definatly was female, and he was lying on the ground, he could hear the sound of a river near by, he must have flowed down stream,
````````"Wo...wat... hi u?"
He could Barely speak, and his words where slurred,
``````"Don't try to talk, you look like you where used for target practice"
"Proably wazz"
````````"Shhh"
He took the soft comforting friendly voices advice, and soon he fell into a deep dreamless sleep.
K, Here it is
------------------Fight for Life---------------------
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Sarunakai~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
_____________________Chapter 1_______________________
``````The pioneer project, a weakening, or a soulution? These where the thoughts of many officials, they argued, and debated, but they let them come anyways. The hunters, the military could not handle the threat, so the Hunters where brought in to help. But Hunters aren't appreciated, like freaks, or super heros, the Hunters came, and eliminated the threat, but uncovered truths not found by the people, things quieted over by the military and the scientists.
````````They had their hands full, answering civillian questions, and paying off the Hunters, but now they where all there, they wouldn't just leave quietly, but decided to stay against military rule. Responses where not good for the hunters, warnings had been posted, stating stuff like
``````"They are cruel, and will work for any cause, helping, or assassinating, they will do without thought, beware."
```````Civillians where confused, the Hunters had saved them hadn't they? A few officials such as the principal and Red Ring Rico are with the hunters, but the people had grown to accustomed to listening, following blindly, and most where convinced that the Hunters where there for nothing but their destruction.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
```````Gahn sat at the edge of his bed, the dark room around him wasn't large, smaller than the old hotel rooms even. It was early, and he had recieved a message that flashed red. He activated his comm. unit and selected the message to play, a hologram of Red Ring Rico appeared.
`````````"Every Hunter needs to gather inside the reconstruction of the Central Dome, this is urgent, you must be here within a limit of forty beats maximum, details will be provided at the meeting."
`````````"What the? This can't be good."
```````He stood and dressed up into his black and blue HUmar outfit, and took leave of his temporary home.
```````As Gahn snuck silently along the shadows of the dark shift{A period of time that most lights are cut and a clear artificial sky view of the different homeworlds.} he could se a few other hunters,{Hunters:Hunters/Forces/and Rangers} moving towards the hidden Hunter teleporter. The Hunter teleporter is hidden from the Military and civillians alike, for usage for easy acess to the planet without intefierence. He reached the closest one to him and selected the holographic image of the Central Dome, under construction. Then Gahn watched the dark sorroundings vanish around him. Gahn matierialized at one of the seven main teleporters, and headed down the partially built corridors. He reached a large door, he could not hear a word or noise from the inside, good. When he entered he was greeted by the following picture, hundreds of Hunters stood silently, only a few turned when he entered, the others just stared intently at Red Ring Rico. Androids, Humans, Newmans,Hunters, Rangers, Forces, all where gathered in this single huge chamber, to him, they seemd to be an easy target. Red Ring Rico nodded to them and began,
```````"The dangers of what hospitality is left within the military has collasped, and the danger all the more great. I don't know how many of you have something to go back to, but we are not welcome, we never have been, but now they will fight to get rid of us."
```````She paused for a moment for her words to sink in, some Hunters faltered, swore, but most knew more was to come.
``````"But, they have the strongest advantage......civillians. If nessesary, they will use them as a shield, I myself cannot think of all the solutions, or win this fight against them."
````````An angry voice sounded out across the room,
"I won't let them! We saved their pathetic asses and this is how they repay us? I say we fight back, they can't beat us!"
```````````Red Ring Rico was about to start but Gahn cut in,
```````"Are you willing to kill civillians just to get back at this small amount of a force?"
````````The guy shoved his way over to him, so he was in his face,
``````"Why not, theres more of them anyway"
````"More civillians, and a much larger Military force, didn't you even consider that they might call for back up and then here comes Pioneer 3&4 loaded with soldiers to slaughter us all."
``````He backed up, and Red Ring Rico broke in,
"He is right, we are misunderstood, and there isn't enough of us to fight all of them. We need to somehow get the civillians with us, and then the Government and the Military can't pull their plan off. Yes, the Military has posted that any Hunter seen is to be captured, and if they resist, to be kil--"
`````````The meeting was interrupted by an explosion, soldiers spilled into the room from each side, they where totally sorrounded.
``````"Drop your personal storages{Where all weapons, armor, and mags are kept or anything else} and you won't be hurt"
````````Many of them made mad dashes to the teleporters, only to find them locked down, and several where filled with photon energy.
```````"Raise your hands, not behind your head, just straight up"
Most complied, and several soldiers came around binding arms behind backs and then to the person next to them. Gahn was bound to a HUnewearl, she turned her head from the soldier and spit on the ground. Strong prided hunters fought back, and killed several soldiers, and teh HUnewearl bound to him revoked and rammed to nearest guard pulling him after her.
````````"Come on!"
`````They manuevered best they could and made their way to the back, there he managed to break free from the restraint. She ran at the group of soldiers, and locked in combat, himself, he looked for another way out. Large metal frames curved upwards in the shape of a dome, at the top it was unfinished, and there was an opening. Gahn grabbed hold onto the curved metal frame, end hauled himself upwards. He got pretty far before he was hit, blood poured down from his shoulder to the crowd below. Afraid one might escape, the amount of fire attentioned at him increased greatly. He was almost to the top when he was struck several times, twice in the back, once in the shoulder again, and two more times in his leg. When he was shot he lost his balance, holding on by his left arm he swayed. Recieving several more injuries, but now falling. Gahn struggled and pulled himself through the breach in the unfinished desighn. He sat for a moment, breathing hard, his eyes clouded, blinded for a moment. Gahn shook his head and descended carefully down the southern side of the dome. Gahn made it halfway down before looking down, there was a river, and soldiers. He tried to jump but as he was about to a photon bullet landed into his chest. His unconcious body fell, hitting the rail and falling into the river.
````````Gahn couldn't even open his eyes, too painfull, he was surpirsed he was even alive. He tried to lift his arm, he did for a time before passing out from pain. Next time Gahn woke up he spit up blood, adding to the already awfull taste in his mouth. He felt an obhect pressed to his lips,
`````````"Drink"
He did, the water flowed down his throat, like new energy, refreashing to the point that he could think now. The voice definatly was female, and he was lying on the ground, he could hear the sound of a river near by, he must have flowed down stream,
````````"Wo...wat... hi u?"
He could Barely speak, and his words where slurred,
``````"Don't try to talk, you look like you where used for target practice"
"Proably wazz"
````````"Shhh"
He took the soft comforting friendly voices advice, and soon he fell into a deep dreamless sleep.