PSO: The Dark Shujin

[Cannibal-Snowman]

PSO: The Dark Shujin

Chapter 1: The Beginning

Ragol has finally been colonized. After finding out what happened to Pioneer 1 and eliminating the threats, it was safe for Pioneer 2 to land. Now, after many years, the people of Pioneer 2 have finally built their cities, and are starting a new life?but another problem has arisen. A group of bounty hunters, known as The Dark Shujin, have been terrorizing the people of Ragol. Witnesses describe them as "the mafia of Ragol." Their leader is unknown, but he is said to be responsible for all of the crimes committed in the past 20 years. Nobody has been able to stop them, not even the police, so their terror still reigns supreme...



Two people are seen walking through the main street of Ragol's capitol at night. They are the only ones there. Their names are John and Alexandra. John is a HUmar. Alexandra is a FOmarl. They were recently married.

Alexandra: The sky looks beautiful tonight. Just look at all of those stars?
John: Yeah, they do look pretty cool.

John stops walking and looks at Alexandra.

John: Hey, I've got something to give you.
Alexandra: What is it?
John: It's a wedding gift.

John pulls out a small box and hands it to Alexandra. She reads the label on it. It reads, Club of Zumiuran.

Alexandra: *excited* Oh my goodness! This is wonderful! This is what I've always wanted! How did you manage to get this?
John: Um...I have some...connections.

As if on cue, a small ship that looks somewhat like a hovercar turns around the corner. It is sleek, black, and it has a picture of a skull with red eyes on the front. John's face is stricken with terror when he sees the ship. He pushes Alexandra into a nearby alley.

John: Stay here...I'll handle this.
Alexandra: Handle what?

The ship stops in front of John. The doors slide open and five men step out. One of them steps up to John. He is a very tall RAmar, and he wears a red and black ranger uniform. His hair is jet black and he has a goatee. John recognizes him as the second in command of The Dark Shujin. He is known as Diablo.

John: Uh...*nervously* Hey! It's my old friend, Diablo! How are you?
Diablo: I'm not your friend. Now, enough with the small talk.

He holds a mechgun up to John's face. John starts to sweat a little.

Diablo: Now...where is the money?
John: I don't have it yet, but I promise I will get it to you.
Diablo: *sigh* That's very disappointing, John. When my boss gives somebody 5,000 Meseta so they can buy something, he expects to get 5,000 Meseta back.
John: I know, and I'm sorry. But I will pay it back.
Diablo: That's exactly what you said...one month ago. Now, you have two options. You can either give us the money, or you suffer the consequences.
John: Please, just give me a few more days. I almost have all of it.
Diablo: Is that so?

He looks at one of the other mobsters with him.

Diablo: Check him.

The mobster walks up to John and takes his PC away from him. He looks at the Meseta amount.

Mobster #1: He's flat broke, Diablo.
Diablo: *sighs and looks at John* John, there are two things I don't like: People who don't follow orders, and liars. You're both of them. Do you know what happens to people who don't follow orders and lie?
John: ...No...please don't...I promise I'll pay it back!
Diablo: There's no changing my mind now. You've disobeyed our rules, and now you pay the price.
John: No! Don't do it!

Alexandra has been listening in on this whole conversation.

Alexandra: *to herself* Don't hurt him...please don't hurt him...

She hears a series of bangs, and then the sound of something dropping to the ground. She slowly peeks around the corner to see her husband lying on the ground. A puddle of blood starts to form around him.

Alexandra: No...John!

Diablo hears her and turns to look at her. Her face is stained with tears as she crawls toward her deceased husband.

Diablo: And who might you be?
Alexandra: ...You...you killed my husband. How could you do such a thing?!
Diablo: I only do what I am told. John did not follow my Boss's order, so the Boss tells me to find him and kill him. That is exactly what I did. Now, if you'll excuse us...

Diablo gets up and leaves. Suddenly, he stops. He turns to look at Alexandra. He is smiling wickedly.

Diablo: ...You wouldn't happen to have the money we need, would you?
Alexandra: What?
Diablo: I have an idea.

Diablo walks away from Alexandra and gets into the ship. The four mobsters surround Alexandra so she doesn't get away. She can hear Diablo talking with somebody. A few minutes later, he gets out.

Diablo: We have a new plan. I was just talking to the Boss. We have decided on this: Hand over the Meseta or you'll be joining your husband.

Alexandra suddenly realizes what he is talking about. She stands up.

Alexandra: ...You're crazy!

Diablo grabs Alexandra by the neck and holds his Mechgun up to her face.

Diablo: SHUT UP AND FORK OVER THE MONEY! NOW!

Alexandra responds by kicking Diablo in the stomach. He drops her and falls backwards. When he gets up, he sees that Alexandra is gone. He looks to his right to see Alexandra running away.

Diablo: I hate it when they run away.

He looks at the other mobsters.

Diablo: Let's get her.




<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Cannibal-Snowman on 2003-06-13 17:52 ]</font>

[BOC]

let me be the first 2 say:

DUDE!!!

excellent start mr snowman!!!

can't wait 2 read the next part!!!!!!!

keep up the good work!!!

PEACE!!!

[Neonlantern]

Pretty Good Pretty Good
I like it a lot so far. Keep up the good work. I wanna hear some cool fight scenes now!!!
keep on writing

[Cannibal-Snowman]

Chapter 2: Diablo


As Alexandra was running, she looked behind her to see that the mobsters had started to give chase. That made her nervous; if she stopped she was going to get killed! Then she noticed something: she still had the weapon that John gave her.

Alexandra: *thinking* Let's see how this thing works...

She equipped the Club of Zumiuran, stopped, and turned around to face the mobsters.

Alexandra: RAZONDE!!!

A bolt of lightning hit one of the mobsters, instantly killing him. When the smoke cleared, all that was left was a smoking, lifeless body.

Diablo: ...Holy sh*t...

Meanwhile, in a hotel...

Matt, a RAmar, was sleeping in his bed, when all of a sudden, a crashing noise woke him up. He looked around the dark hotel room to see if there was a hunter in the room. The only other hunter he saw was his bodyguard, a RAcast named Blade.

Blade: Is everything alright, sir?
Matt: ...Yeah...fine...

Matt got up and looked out the window. He saw a woman surrounded by four men. They looked like they were going to hurt her.

Matt: Blade, get your gun. There's something going on outside and I want to find out what it is.

Back on the street...

Alexandra was furiously waving her Club of Zumiuran around to keep the remaining mobsters away.

Alexandra: Stay back! I'm not afraid to use this!

Diablo was not intimidated by that. He slowly walked towards Alexandra. When he was close enough, she swiped the cane at him, hitting him right in the jaw. She was surprised to see that he didn't even fall down.

Diablo: ...

Diablo placed his hand on his jaw, and when he took it off, his hand was covered in blood. Alexandra stood perfectly still, holding the cane near his face.

Alexandra: Like I said...I'm not afraid to use this...
Diablo: ...You're brave...that is...you SEEM brave. Let's see how brave you are when you're looking down the barrel of one of these...

Diablo opened up his Inventory and equipped a massive shotgun. Alexandra recognized it as a Final Impact. Her face went from confident to worried.

Diablo: ...Not so brave now, are you?

Diablo suddenly felt something on the back of his head. He turned around to see that not only was there another Ranger pointing a Blaster straight at him, but he saw that all of the mobsters that were with him were now dead.

Matt: Put down your weapon.

Diablo paused, and then slowly put down his shotgun. Suddenly, he punched Matt in the face, grabbed his shotgun, and ran away. Matt quickly regained his composure.

Matt: Sh*t! Where did he go?
Blade: He ran away, sir.
Matt: Damn. Let's go!

Matt and Blade started to chase after Diablo, but Matt stopped and looked at Alexandra.

Matt: Are you coming?
Alexandra: What? Oh...of course!

Alexandra picked up her cane and followed Matt and Blade as they chased Diablo. Matt fired a blast at Diablo. It missed his head by a few inches. Diablo managed to turn a corner and head into an alley. He watched as the three pursuers pass by. Then, he climbed up a nearby ladder so that he was on top of the buildings. He ran to a spot ahead of the three hunters, and equipped another one of his weapons, an Inferno Bazooka. He spotted a car, and then he waited for the three hunters to get closer.

Diablo: Closer...just a bit further...

When they were close enough, he fired a shell at the car, making it explode and sending the three hunters flying. Seeing that his job was done, he unequipped his bazooka, climbed down the ladder, and looked at the destruction.

Diablo: It fills my heart with joy to see scenes like this...

After surveying the destruction for few seconds, he walked away, satisfied with a job well done.

[Cannibal-Snowman]

Hey, to the people interested in this story...

I'm looking for a good artist. If you think you are a good artist (and I mean VERY good) please PM me. In the message, please include your e-mail address and a picture that you have drawn. If more than one person PMs me, I will choose from the best drawing that I see. The reason you need to include your e-mail is because if I choose you, I will send you descriptions of all of the characters in this story. If you are chosen, you will receive something cool (probably a cameo in this story if you have made a character). That's it.

[Neonlantern]

Ch. 2 is lookin good.
keep up the good work and good luck finding an artist.

[BOC]

very very slick!!!

and everyone likes to read about exploding cars!!!

can't wait 4 the next part. and good like finding some 2 draw 4 u

[Cannibal-Snowman]

Ok, here's the next chapter. It's a bit boring, there is no action. Just talking.

Chapter 3: A New Ally



Matt was the second of the three to gain consciousness. Blade had never even lost consciousness, he was just damaged. Matt looked over at Alexandra and saw that she was still knocked out, but she didn't look hurt. He got up and walked over to her.

Matt: Hey, are you okay, um?

Matt looked over at Blade.

Matt: Did you catch her name?
Blade: No, sir.

Matt started to shake her to try and wake her up. She woke up instantly, but Matt didn't notice it until he was hit on the head by her Club of Zumiuran.

Alexandra: Will you quit shaking me?!
Matt: *rubbing his head* Okay, okay!! Just don't hit me with that thing again! That really hurt!! *to himself* Ow, son of a-

Matt stopped cursing at himself when he saw somebody running towards him. The person was a HUmar with red & white armor, tan skin, and he had dreadlocks that ran down to his shoulders.

HUmar: Hey, I heard a noise, are you guys okay?
Matt: Who are you?
Teknique: My name is Teknique.
Matt: What kind of a name is that?
Teknique: Well, what's your name?
Matt: My name is Matt, although some people refer to me as Shadow Dragon.
Teknique: And you thought my name was stupid?
Matt: ...

Alexandra interrupted Matt and Teknique's conversation.

Alexandra: Excuse me, Teknique, but do you think you could help us? We've got sort of a problem.
Teknique: Sure! What is it?
Alexandra: Well, we were just attacked by some members of the Dark Shujin.
Teknique: The Dark Shujin? You mean those mafia people, right?
Alexandra: Right. Apparently, my husband owed them some money.
Teknique: Where is your husband?
Alexandra: They...killed him.
Teknique: Oh...
Alexandra: Anyway, after killing him, they started to chase me. Then these guys...

She pointed to Matt and Blade.

Alexandra: ...came and rescued me. Then, we started to chase down one of the mobsters, but he disappeared.
Teknique: Okay, I will be glad to help you. Those Dark Shujin are nothing but a bunch of mindless killers, and I want them to get what they deserve.
Alexandra: Thank you very much.
Teknique: Are we going now?
Alexandra: I don't think so. What about you guys?

She looked at Matt and Blade. They both shook their heads. Then she looked at Teknique.

Alexandra: Do you want to go?
Teknique: Well, I did. But now I'm starting to reconsider.
Alexandra: Okay, we'll wait. Now there's another problem. Where are we going to stay? I don't live here. Do any of you guys live here?
Matt: I have a hotel room, but it's for only two people.
Teknique: Why don't we camp out in the forest? The animals aren't violent anymore, and it won't cost us a cent. How does that sound?
Matt: That sounds good. I just have to go back to the hotel to get my stuff and then check out.
Alexandra: Then it's settled. We'll camp out tonight.

During this time, a HUcast named Syphon has been watching them from the top of a building. He turned around to face a shady figure.

?????: Where are they going?
Syphon: They said they are staying in the wilderness tonight, sir.
?????: Perfect. I want you to kill them while they are asleep. When you return, I will give you your reward of 10,000 Meseta. Failure is not an option.
Syphon: Trust me, sir...

He pulled out two katanas.

Syphon: ...I will not fail.




<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Cannibal-Snowman on 2003-06-16 04:31 ]</font>

[Neonlantern]

Teknique entered!!! Alright!
I like it so far (more than just cuz my character came in)
I cant wait til the next chapter comes around.

[Cannibal-Snowman]

Okay, here's the next chapter. In this chapter, alot of stuff is revealed about somebody's past. You'll have to read it to find out who...

Chapter 4: Assassination Attempt



Matt, Blade, Alexandra, and Teknique had finally found a good place to set up their camp. After setting up their sleeping bags (they were from Matt and Blade), they were finally ready to go to sleep. Since Blade couldn't sleep, Matt ordered him to stand guard. He looked at the others. Teknique was already asleep, and Alexandra was getting ready. Matt suddenly realized something.

Matt: Hey...
Alexandra: Yes?
Matt: You never told me...what's your name?
Alexandra: Oh...we never properly introduced ourselves, did we?
Matt: No.
Alexandra: My name is Alexandra.
Matt: I'm Matt, and that guy...

Matt looks at Blade, who is standing alert.

Matt: ...That's Blade, my bodyguard.
Alexandra: You have a bodyguard?
Matt: Well, he was my uncle's bodyguard. He gave him to me in his will.
Alexandra: How did he die?
Matt: I don't know. They say he was killed by the animals when they were violent, but I'm not sure...I don't think it was something, I think it was someone. Maybe it was...
Alexandra: Just sleep on it. It's very late, and I recommend that we all get some shut-eye.
Matt: Okay.

Matt and Alexandra got into their sleeping bags and fell asleep. The only hunter still awake was Blade.

Blade: ...

Blade suddenly saw something moving around in the shadows. He silently equipped his gun and pointed it at the shadows. But the thing was gone. He put down his gun and sat down.

Blade: *quietly, to himself* What was that thing? Maybe it was just a Rappy.

After sitting down for a while, Blade finally drifted into an idle state, which could be considered "sleep."

Syphon: *quietly* Finally, he's asleep. Now I can move in.

Syphon, who had been spying on the group the whole time, finally had his chance to kill them. He equipped his two katanas. Slowly, he walked up to Alexandra, raised one of his blades, and was about to bring it down on her head, when suddenly...

Blade woke up. Right away, he noticed the HUcast.

Syphon: *quietly* Well, if it isn't my old rival, Blade...
Blade: Intruder! Matt, wake up!

Matt slowly opened his eyes, and sat up groggily. He didn't notice the assassin standing right next to him.

Matt: What do you want, Blade?
Blade: Sir, behind you! There is an intruder!
Matt: What...?

He slowly looked behind him to see the HUcast. Syphon quickly brought his blade down towards Matt, but he rolled away in time. He was now fully awake.

Matt: Shit! Guys, wake up!!

Alexandra and Teknique both opened their eyes. Alexandra screamed when she saw the HUcast. Teknique quickly got up and equipped one of his weapons, a Double Saber.

Matt: Who are you, and what the hell are you doing here?!
Syphon: My name is Syphon. I was sent on a mission to kill every single one of you. And I think I'll start with you first.

Matt tried to equip his Blaster, but Syphon knocked it out of his hands and kicked him, sending him flying back and hitting a big rock when he landed. When he looked up, he saw Syphon about to stab him in the face, but suddenly, he fell forward. Matt managed to dodge the android when it hit the ground. Syphon looked up to see Blade with Matt's Blaster.

Blade: Nobody hurts my master, especially not you.

Blade started firing barrages of Photon bullets at Syphon. He managed to deflect every single one of them with his katanas. Seeing that shooting at a distance didn't have an effect, Blade ran forward and kicked Syphon in the stomach, making him drop his swords and stumble back. Seeing his opportunity, Blade starting firing Photon bullets at Syphon. Each one hit, and pretty soon, Syphon was in pretty bad shape. He got up slowly and grabbed his katanas.

Blade: That's what you get for trying to hurt my master.
Syphon: ...And this is what you get for messing with me...

Syphon lunged forward quickly, catching Blade off-guard, and with a single slash, he cut off one of Blade's arms.

Matt: BLADE!!!

Matt took the Blaster and pointed it at Syphon?s head.

Matt: You'll pay for that, you bastard!

He fired a shot at Syphon. He managed to avoid getting hit in the head, but the bullet still hit him in the chest. Syphon put both of his katanas away and activated a teleporter back to the city.

Syphon: We'll meet again...and next time...you won?t survive...

Syphon stepped into the teleporter, and it disappeared as soon as he left. Matt ran over to Blade to see if he was okay. Sparks were coming out of the spot where his arm was.

Matt: Are you okay? I've never seen you like that before. Did you want to protect me that much?
Blade: No, it wasn't you...it was Syphon. A long time ago, when I worked for your uncle, I met Syphon. He hated your uncle, and was determined to kill him. Unfortunately, he got his wish. One day, when your uncle was exploring Ragol, Syphon came out from the shadows, and killed him. I didn't know what to do since my old master was dead, but I decided to fight him. We fought for hours. In the end, I won. He has hated me ever since. The reason I took him on myself was because I didn't want to lose another master.
Matt: Syphon...he killed my uncle?
Blade: Yes.
Matt: ...
Teknique: Hey, I thought robots didn't have feelings. From that story, Blade seemed worried and angry.
Blade: I'm no ordinary android. Your uncle was the one who created me. He was a genius. He was so smart, he could program a robot to have feelings. And that is exactly what he did to me...
Teknique: Oh, I get it now. That's pretty cool.

Matt had not been listening to that last part, as he was thinking about his uncle.

Matt: It was Syphon? He killed my uncle?
Blade: Yes.
Matt: But why? You said that Syphon hated my uncle. Why did he hate him?
Blade: I do not know.
Matt: I'm gonna find out.

Meanwhile, at the Dark Shujin headquarters...

?????: So, Syphon, did you kill them?
Syphon: I'm sorry, but I failed. I did manage to wound one of them, though.
?????: I thought you said you wouldn't fail.
Syphon: I underestimated them.

Diablo, who was with the Boss, was very pissed off.

Diablo: Boss, if you had let me do it, I would have killed them, no problem. Unlike this amateur...
Syphon: What did you just say?!
?????: HOLD IT!! If you two are so confident that you can each kill them, why don't you work together?
Diablo: That's not a bad idea...as long as Syphon doesn't mess everything up.
Syphon: You know, I got very close to killing them! I did better than you could probably ever do!
Diablo: Is that so?! You think you're so tough?! Let's fight, right now, you and me, you stupid pile of scrap metal!!
?????: SHUT UP!!
Diablo: ...
Syphon: ...
?????: Now, you two are working together, right?
Diablo: ...Yeah...
Syphon: ...I guess so...
?????: Good. Now, we'll plan our attack. They won't know what hit 'em.

Diablo and Syphon both listened to the Boss's plans. Whether they liked each other or not, they would have to work together.





<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Cannibal-Snowman on 2003-06-16 05:14 ]</font>

[Neonlantern]

sounds great so far

[Cannibal-Snowman]

Chapter 5: Hijacking



At the Dark Shujin's base, the Boss was explaining to Syphon and Diablo what they were going to do.

?????: Okay, I found out that a space transporter, carrying very important political figures, is coming to Ragol today. I want you two to hijack it and take all of the passengers inside hostage.
Syphon: Boss, that sounds a little risky...
?????: It may seem risky, but I found something out. The ship is very heavily guarded, except for the back. All you guys need to do is get in through the back.
Diablo: And why are we doing this?
?????: If we do, those hunters will try and come rescue the hostages.
Syphon: But what if that Tyrell guy tells some other hunters to do it?
?????: Don't worry, I'll make sure nothing goes wrong.
Diablo: What will our demands be?
?????: 50 million Meseta.
Diablo: 50 million?!
?????: Yes, and you'll say that if you don't get it within 2 hours, you'll kill everybody aboard. They'll have to pay up.
Syphon: But what about those hunters? What if they are too strong?
?????: I'm sending some of our best mobsters with you. If those hunters get on board, you kill them.
Diablo: So, no matter what, we win. If we don't get the money, we kill the hunters and everybody aboard. But if we don't kill them, we get 50 million Meseta. I like that plan.
?????: Good. You'd better not mess up.
Syphon: We won't.
?????: Okay. The transporter should be near Ragol in about 4 hours. That will be plenty of time for you guys to get up into space and get in the ship...

After getting some rest in the Forest, the four hunters were ready to take on the Dark Shujin. Blade's arm had been reattached, although he was still having some difficulty moving it. Right now, the hunters are at a restaurant.

Matt: Okay, so what do you guys want?
Alexandra: Just get me a drink. It doesn't matter which kind.
Teknique: If it's edible, I'll eat it.
Blade: Nothing.
Matt: Okay, and I'll get a-
Man: Shh! We're trying to watch the news!
Matt: What?

The four hunters directed their attention to the monitor. The news was on.

Anchor: We have received an emergency report. The transport ship, "Eagle Eye," on which many famous political figures are aboard, has been hijacked. We now take you to the Ragol Landing Pad, where we have one of our reporters.

The four hunters looked at each other in shock.

Alexandra: Hijacked?!
Matt: Who could have hijacked it?
Teknique: It was probably the Dark Shujin.

They looked at the monitor again, where they saw a reporter standing in front of the landing pad.

Reporter: I'm here at the Ragol Landing Pad, where the transporter "Eagle Eye' was supposed to arrive. Unfortunately, it has been hijacked.

The reporter paused to talk to somebody, then directed their attention back to the camera.

Reporter: We have just received a recording on the ship. Let's listen:

The following was heard on the recording:

Diablo: Nobody move! This is a hijacking!
Guard: Freeze, scumbag!

A few shots are heard. Then the sound of something hitting the ground and a woman screaming.

Syphon: If anybody else wants to try and take us on, you'll end up like that guy.
Person #1: What are your demands?
Diablo: We want 50 million Meseta.
Person #2: Are you crazy?!
Diablo: Did I say you could talk?
Person #2: ...
Diablo: We want the Meseta in no more than 2 hours. If we don't get our demands, you're all gonna die!

Reporter: And there you have it: The Eagle Eye has been hijacked by the Dark Shujin. *to himself* Why don't they send any hunters up there?

After the report, the people in the restaurant started chatting amongst themselves.

Teknique: I knew it was the Dark Shujin!
Alexandra: I heard the reporter saying something about sending hunters up there...maybe if we can convince Tyrell, he can send us up there.
Matt: Let's do it.

The four hunters ran out of the restaurant and to Tyrell's office.

Irene: Sir, there are four hunters here to see you.
Tyrell: Send them in.

The doors opened, and Matt, Blade, Alexandra, and Teknique ran up to Tyrell's desk.

Tyrell: I was just about to call the four of you.
Alexandra: You were?
Tyrell: Yes, somebody had told me that you guys are able to take on these hijackers.
Matt: So, can you send us up there?
Tyrell: Follow me.

Tyrell got up and started to walk towards a teleporter. The hunters followed.

Tyrell: This will teleport you to the transporter. But be ready. Those hijackers might see you before you see them.
Matt: We'll be ready.

The four hunters stepped into the teleporter and teleported to the Eagle Eye.

On the Eagle Eye...

The four hunters materialized in an empty hallway of the ship. They all equipped their weapons. Matt had his Blaster, Blade had a Cannon, Alexandra had her Club of Zumiuran, and Teknique had his Double Saber.

Matt: I'll check around the corner to see if there is anybody there. I'll signal if it's clear.

Matt slowly poked his head around the corner and he saw a mobster. But the mobster was facing the opposite way.

Alexandra: *quietly* Is it clear?

Matt walked out into the hallway. Alexandra started to follow, but she realized that he never gave a signal. Suddenly, she heard a thud and something landing on the floor.

Matt: It is now. Come on.

After eliminating a few mobsters, they finally got to the main room where the hostages were. Matt slowly crept out into the room so nobody would notice him. But one of the hostages blew his cover.

Hostage: *notices Matt* Finally, somebody has come to save us!

Diablo, Syphon and the other mobsters turned around to face Matt. He was stricken with fear, he couldn't move now that he was caught. Before he could react, Diablo shot him in the stomach twice. Matt cried out in pain and fell to the floor.

Diablo: One down, three to go...
Alexandra: Matt!

Now infuriated, Alexandra swung her cane at the mobsters, hitting two of them and knocking them out. Two more of them tried to charge at her, but she fired a Rabarta and froze both of them in their tracks. She tried to hit another one of them, but Syphon jumped up and chopped her cane in half.

Alexandra: My cane! No!

Syphon started attacking her. For a while, she was able to defend his blows with the remaining half of her cane, but pretty soon, she started to get tired. After a few minutes, Syphon saw this, and delivered one final kick to the chin. He heard a cracking noise as she flew up a few inches and came crashing down to the ground.

Syphon: I thought the Boss said that these guys would be a challenge. They're nothing but a bunch of-

Before Syphon could get another word out, him and two other mobsters got hit by some Photon bullets. The mobsters were killed, but Syphon was only wounded. He looked up to see that Blade had just fired his Cannon.

Syphon: I see you got your arm fixed.
Blade: At least I have my arms.
Syphon: What are you talking about?

Syphon looked at his arms to see that they were indeed gone. He looked behind him to see one of them on the floor. The other was stuck to the end of a Double Saber. Teknique had cut both of Syphon's arms off.

Teknique: What are you gonna do now? You can't even fire a weapon.
Syphon: YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT!!
Teknique: What are you gonna do? Threaten me to death?
Syphon: I'll...I'll...
Diablo: You'll shut up and let me handle this.

Teknique looked behind him to see that he was holding a shotgun to his face, a Crush Bullet. Teknique looked in front of him to see that Blade was on the ground with a smoldering hole in his chest.

Diablo: All of your friends are gone. You're outnumbered. What are you gonna do?

Diablo suddenly screamed as a Photon bullet pierced his arm. He dropped his shotgun and fell to the ground. Teknique looked to see that Matt was holding his Blaster up. Teknique could tell that he was weak, his hands were shaking. Surprisingly, Matt stood up and looked at the other mobsters.

Matt: P-put down y-y-our guns....

The mobsters slowly put down their weapons and raised their hands, meaning that they surrendered. The remaining guards took the mobsters and handcuffed them. Teknique walked over to Matt.

Teknique: Matt...are you okay?
Matt: *weakly* A few bullets, but nothing bad. What about those two?

Matt looked at Diablo and Syphon. Syphon was trying to attack the guards, but he couldn't since his arms were gone. Diablo was struggling to get away from the guards, but gave up because his arm hurt too much. Teknique looked at Alexandra and Blade. Alexandra had many cuts and bruises, plus she was bleeding in several places. Blade looked like he had been killed, the hole in his chest was about the size of a dinner plate. Some guards rushed over to put them in stretchers. Later, the Eagle Eye landed safely, and everybody aboard was rushed to the hospital.

Meanwhile, at the Dark Shujin base...

The Boss was seen speaking to a mobster.

?????: Any word on the hijacking?
Mobster: I just got word that the hijacking failed.
?????: WHAT?! THEY LOST?!
Mobster: Yeah. They were arrested.
?????: They promised they could do it. WHY DO THEY KEEP FAILING?!
Mobster: How are we going to get them out of jail?
?????: Wait.

The Boss looked at a monitor which showed another news report.

Anchorman: Good evening. We have just found out that the Eagle Eye landed safely, and the hijackers were arrested. Unfortunately, the ship carrying the hijackers has disappeared. We have a reporter where the ship was last seen...

The Boss smiled as he listened to the report.

?????: We don't have to get them out of jail. I think they took care of that.
Mobster: Do you want me to go find them?
?????: Please do. And tell them this...

The Boss turned to the mobster.

?????: They'll be getting a nice surprise when they get back.

[BOC]

Excellent!!!!!!

but i hope blade hasn't bit the bullet just yet!

keep up the good work!!!!!

PEACE!!!!!!

[Cannibal-Snowman]

The story is reaching it's end (short, wasn't it?). But you never know if there will be a sequel...


Chapter 6: Revenge (Part 1)



At the Dark Shujin headquarters...

Syphon and Diablo slowly walked into the Boss's office with worried faces. Syphon had his arms put back on, and Diablo had a cast on his arm. They both walked up nervously to the Boss's desk.

?????: ...Do you know how angry I am right now?
Diablo: Please don't hurt us, Boss, we just-
?????: Let me guess. You just "underestimated" them, didn't you?
Syphon: We tried our best.
?????: Well, your best wasn't good enough, was it?
Diablo: Please Boss, just give us another chance.

The Boss sat back and thought about it.

?????: ...I don't know why I'm doing this, but I will give you another chance. ONE more chance. If you fail this time, I'll kill the both of you.
Diablo: Good. So, what are we going to do this time?
?????: Follow me.

The Boss got up and walked to a television. He turned it on and went to the news channel. The screen showed a tall man in a suit talking to some reporters.

?????: The President of Ragol is in the capitol today. I want you two to assassinate him. And just to make sure you don't fail, I'll be coming with you.

Everybody near the Boss turned their heads in astonishment.

Diablo: ...You? You're coming?
?????: Yes.
Syphon: But you haven't been in any combat for over ten years.
?????: That's true.

He looked over to a glass case, containing a weapon.

?????: It's time I gave "Old Faithful" another go.

He walked over to the case and opened it, looking at his weapon. It was a Lavis Cannon. He took it out and equipped it.

?????: Let's go. We don't have much time.

Meanwhile, at the hospital...

Alexandra slowly opened her eyes to see Matt and Teknique staring down at her.

Matt: Hey, wake up. Are you okay?

She sat up, but had to lie back down because it hurt.

Alexandra: Yes...I'm fine...Did we win?
Matt: Barely. If it wasn't for Teknique, we all would have died.
Alexandra: ...Thank you, Teknique.
Teknique: No problem.

Suddenly, Alexandra went limp.

Matt: She's out again.
Teknique: She got beat up pretty bad.

Blade walked in. He couldn't be repaired, so the mechanics had to replace his torso.

Blade: Is there anything I can do, sir?

Matt suddenly started to clutch his stomach in pain.

Matt: Yeah, get me the ice pack.

Matt's wounds had been healed, but every once in a while, he would start to get burning feelings in his stomach. The doctors said that it was the scars from the photon bullets acting up, and the only way to heal them was to cool them down. Blade handed Matt the icepack. Matt put it on his stomach and sat down.

Matt: It feels like there's a volcano in my stomach.

Teknique chuckled at that remark, but then, he saw something out of the corner of his eye. It was the Dark Shujin's ship. Teknique turned around and armed his Double Saber.

Teknique: The Dark Shujin! They're probably up to something. I'll stop them!
Matt: Teknique, wait!

But it was too late. Teknique had already ran out the doors, and started to chase down the ship.

In the ship...

?????: Now, from what I understand, the President is at a restaurant right now. That means that we'll be able to get in unnoticed. After that, we have a problem.
Diablo: What's that, Boss?
?????: The President will be heavily guarded. We need to get all of the guards out of the area. Syphon, that's where you come in.
Syphon: What do you want me to do?
?????: I want you to plant a bomb in the President's ship. Detonate it before anybody discovers it. That will distract the guards long enough for Diablo to snipe the President from a safe distance.
Diablo: What if it doesn't work?
?????: If all else fails, we fight our way to the President.
Syphon: What about those hunters?

The Boss looks up.

?????: It seems that one of them is already on our tail.

Diablo and Syphon look up to see something cutting through the top of the ship. They realize that there is somebody on top of the ship. Suddenly, the top of the ship flies off to reveal Teknique.

Teknique: I heard your whole plan.
?????: Too bad you won't live to tell anybody about it.

The Boss leaned forward and told the mobster driving to stop the car. He slammed on the brakes, propelling Teknique forward. He landed on the ground with a sickening crack.

?????: Floor it.

The car sped forward, getting closer to Teknique with every second. He could barely move, so all he could do was watch the ship get closer and closer.

Suddenly, a photon blast hit the ship, sending it off-course. The ship missed Teknique by a few feet, but it kept speeding along towards the restaurant. Teknique looked up to see Matt, Blade, and Alexandra. Blade had shot the ship with a Meteor Smash. Alexandra walked up to Teknique and used Resta on him.

Teknique: Thanks, I needed that.
Matt: What were you doing on top of that ship?
Teknique: I found out what the Dark Shujin was doing. They're going to assassinate the President.
Alexandra: We have to stop them!
Teknique: Come on, let's go!

The four hunters ran to the restaurant. They had to stop the Dark Shujin at all costs.

[Raziel_Kai]

Excellent.
I hope to be reading the next chapter soon!

[Neonlantern]

Good Stuff Snowman.
Can't wait for part 2
(I already PM'ed you)

[BOC]

can't bloody wait 4 the next part!!!!!!

rock on!!!!

[Cannibal-Snowman]

Chapter 7: Revenge (Part 2)


The Boss, Diablo, and Syphon walked up to the entrance of the restaurant. A man holding a shotgun stepped up to them.

Guard: I need to see your IDs.
Diablo: Why do you need to see them?
Guard: The President is in this restaurant, and we have to make sure that nobody dangerous gets near him.

Diablo nodded. The others handed over their IDs. The guard scanned all of them. They showed no signs of criminal records.

Guard: You guys can go in.
?????: Thanks.

As they walked past the guard, Syphon whispered something to the Boss.

Syphon: That guy was dumber than he looked. He didn't suspect a thing.
?????: Let's not make him suspicious. Let's go.

They walked inside the restaurant. Diablo asked the Boss a question.

Diablo: Hey Boss, how come our ID cards didn?t show any signs of criminal records?
?????: It was all thanks to the wonders of hacking.

Diablo and the Boss sat down at a table close to the President. Syphon, meanwhile, turned around and left the restaurant. The guard at the entrance noticed that he was leaving.

Guard: Hey, where are you going?

Syphon had prepared for this.

Syphon: I just remembered, I think I dropped something on the way here. Can you help me find it?
Guard: Sure.
Syphon: I think it was somewhere over here...

Suddenly, Syphon started punching and kicking the guard until he dropped his weapon. Syphon instantly picked it up and fired. Nobody had heard the blast since the restaurant was very noisy. Syphon picked up the dead body and dragged it into an alley. Quickly, he ran into the restaurant's parking lot and looked for the President's ship. He found it, surrounded by seven armored ships. Luckily, they were all empty. Syphon made his way through the ships until he came to the one in the center. He equipped his bomb and placed it under the President's ship. He ran back into the restaurant and walked up to one of the guards.

Syphon: There's a bomb in the parking lot! I just saw it as I was walking by!
Guard: A bomb?!

The guard called all of the other guards, and they ran out to the parking lot. They searched for it, and finally, thy found it under the President's ship. They called over a guy with some wire cutters to deactivate the bomb. Syphon ran outside and saw all of the guards crowded around the ship. Syphon took out his detonator and pressed the button.

Syphon: Humans are so stupid...

The explosion destroyed the car and the others around it, killed all of the guards, and sent the people in the restaurant into a panic. Syphon ran in and joined up with the Boss and Diablo.

?????: Did you distract the guards?
Syphon: I did better than that.

They all looked up to see the President jump up from his seat and run for the door. Diablo was there before him. He held a Sniper to the President's face.

Diablo: Your term has ended, Mr. President...

Diablo was about to pull the trigger, but a photon bullet in his back made him drop his rifle. He looked behind him to see that Matt, Alexandra, Blade, and Teknique had arrived right on time.

Matt: Put down your guns. Not only are you outnumbered, but you're also outmatched.

The Boss had been watching silently.

?????: We may be outnumbered, but outmatched? I don't think so...

The Boss slowly walked up to Teknique.

?????: Besides, I have an advantage...

Teknique was shocked when he saw who the Boss was.

?????: ...I'm your brother.
Matt: His what?

Teknique turned towards Matt.

Teknique: He's my brother. His name is Kritikal, and...
Matt: Apparently, stupid names run in the family.

Teknique glared at him.

Matt: Sorry.
Teknique: As I was saying, Kritikal is my brother.

He turns towards Kritikal.

Teknique: How are you still alive?
Alexandra: What are you talking about?
Kritikal: Well, when you were 17, you saw me get killed in an explosion, right?
Teknique: Right. It was a HUcast army, and they set off an explosive, killing you.
Kritikal: That's what you THINK happened.
Teknique: What?
Kritikal: I was never killed. I was working with the HUcasts. We had it all planned out. The explosion would only knock me out, but to you, it looked like I died.
Teknique: Why were you working with the androids?
Kritikal: They promised me big Meseta if I could pull it off.
Teknique: Didn't you even care about how it would affect your family?
Kritikal: .........No.

Kritikal took out his weapon, a Lavis Cannon.

Matt: Holy shit!
Alexandra: A Lavis Cannon?!

Kritikal swung the Lavis Cannon at Teknique, but Teknique blocked the swing with his Double Saber and then kicked Kritikal in the stomach. Kritikal then attempted to swing back at Teknique. He tried to block the blow with his Double Saber, but instead of hearing a clashing sound, he heard a slicing sound. He looked down to see that his Double Saber had been cut in half, now leaving just two sabers. Kritikal and Teknique then started to have a stare-down.

Teknique: ...............
Kritikal: ...........

Kritikal turned to Syphon and Diablo.

Kritikal: Take care of the rest of them.

He then continued the stare-down with Teknique. Syphon and Diablo turned to face Matt, Alexandra, and Blade. They pulled out their weapons. Matt had a Cannon, Alexandra had a Razonde ready to fire, and Blade had a Visk 235W, a Rifle he had never used before. They turned to face their opponents. Syphon had a Twin Brand equipped, and Diablo had a Vulcan mechgun. They lunged at their opponents. Blade started to fight Syphon, while Matt and Alexandra fought Diablo.

This is the final battle......

[Raziel_Kai]

ooooh! http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_eek.gif
Now the final showdown takes place!

[Neonlantern]

A round of applause for The Cannibal Snowman for writing one hell of a fic.
Great Job dude! I cant wait for The FINAL BATTLE!

[LJ]

Cool fic. Really enjoying reading it

[Cannibal-Snowman]

Okay, here is part 1 of the last chapter. Things get very sad here, so you may want to have a box of tissues handy...(just kidding)

Chapter 8: The Final Showdown (Part 1)



The restaurant was dead silent. Everybody had been evacuated, except for the President, who couldn't be found. The only people in there were the seven Hunters. They were about to engage in a brutal fight to the death. Syphon and Blade were the first Hunters to exchange blows. Syphon slashed at Blade with his Twin Brand, but Blade jumped up and shot at Syphon with his Visk 235W. The shot caught him off-guard, hitting him in the chest. He stumbled, but was back on his feet before Blade landed on the ground.

Syphon: You've improved since our last battle.
Blade: Shut up and fight.

Blade then lunged at Syphon and smacked him in the head with the butt of his Visk 235W, sending Syphon crashing into a nearby table. Blade waited for Syphon to get up. Blade later regretted this, as Syphon quickly jumped up from the wreckage and kicked Blade in the face, which propelled him into the air, and landing on another table. Blade got up just when Syphon reached him and shot him in the face with his Visk 235W. From the impact, it looked like Syphon's head had been blown off, but he turned out to be practically unscathed.

Syphon: You'll have to do better than that, you walking bucket of bolts.
Blade: Have you looked in the mirror lately?

While Syphon and Blade fought, Matt and Alexandra were having a very tough time defending Diablo's blows. They had found refuge behind a pile of wreckage, and were taking shots at him from there. Diablo dodged every shot with ease.

Diablo: If you want to beat me, you'll have to come out from hiding and face me like a true Hunter!

Matt ignored the insult and continued his strategy. Meanwhile, Alexandra was on the brink of having a nervous breakdown. She was scared half to death.

Alexandra: I'm not gonna survive......t-this is the end......I....I......
Matt: You will survive this. Trust me.

Suddenly, Alexandra broke down and started sobbing. Matt didn?t know what to do, but suddenly, Alexandra hugged him, screaming and crying about how she is going to die. Diablo, on the other hand, was wondering why Matt had stopped firing.

Diablo: Any day now.........

Meanwhile, Matt was trying to comfort Alexandra.

Alexandra: *sobbing* Why does it have to end like this?! WHY?!
Matt: Don't worry, you're going to be okay...

Suddenly, Alexandra ran out from the wreckage.

Matt: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
Alexandra: *sobbing* I'm getting out of here!
Matt: NO, WAIT!

But it was too late. Diablo fired twelve photon bullets. Seven of them hit Alexandra. She paused, and then tumbled to the ground, covered in blood and photon scars.

Matt: NOOO!!!!

Diablo took this opportunity to say some insults.

Diablo: Oh, I killed your girlfriend. Are you gonna cry now?

Matt slowly got up and glared at Diablo. Diablo suddenly got very nervous.

Diablo: Hey, take it easy, now...

Matt suddenly screamed in rage and charged towards Diablo.

Diablo: What the-

Matt smacked Diablo incredibly hard with his Cannon, which sent him flying halfway across the restaurant. When he got up, Matt was already charging towards him. Diablo tried to run, but Matt hit him again with the Cannon, this time slamming him into the floor. Matt threw the Cannon away and started kicking Diablo in the stomach while he was on the ground. Then, he lifted Diablo up, just to punch him in the face extremely hard, which knocked him back down again. Then, Matt equipped one of his pistols and aimed it at Diablo's stomach.

Matt: This one is for all of the people you have killed...

He fired one shot into Diablo's stomach. He screamed in pain. Matt then aimed the pistol at Diablo's chest.

Matt: This one is for my uncle...

He fired a shot at Diablo's chest. The bullet had almost killed him. He was within an inch of his life. Last, Matt aimed the pistol at Diablo's face.

Matt: And this one...

He fired the pistol. The bullet killed Diablo instantly.

Matt: ...is for Alexandra.

Matt looked at Diablo. What was once a young hunter was now a lifeless heap of blood, scars, and photon bullets. After firing one last shot into Diablo's heart, Matt put away the pistol and walked towards Alexandra. He checked her pulse. He could barely feel it. With the last of her strength, Alexandra looked up.

Alexandra: ......M...M-Matt?
Matt: Alex......
Alexandra: ......I'm s-sorry......

Matt felt her go limp. He checked her pulse...nothing. He laid her hand down and started to sob. Not only had he lost a fellow hunter, he had lost a friend.

[Neonlantern]

*sobbing* that was so sad man!
and yet entertaining. Good fic.

[Cannibal-Snowman]

Ok, here's what you've been waiting for: The final chapter! I just want to thank all of the people that have read my story, if it wasn't for you, I would have never finished this!

Chapter 9: The Final Showdown (Part 2)



Teknique dodged another slice from Kritikal's Lavis Cannon. After he dodged the blow, he managed to kick Kritikal in the head and then in the stomach, and then he kicked him in the head again, which propelled him into some tables and chairs. When Teknique checked, Kritikal was unconscious. Then, Teknique turned around and saw Matt sobbing over something, but he couldn't see what the something was. When he leaned closer, he saw that it was Alexandra's body. He ran over to Matt.

Teknique: What happened?!
Matt: ......She's dead...
Teknique: Who killed her?

Matt pointed towards Diablo's body.

Teknique: Oh...I guess you got your revenge, huh?
Matt: .........
Teknique: What did she do anyway?
Matt: ...She was going crazy....she was sobbing and screaming that she was gonna die. We were hiding behind something, so she couldn't get hurt. But then, she just...ran out. She said she wanted to get out of here, and then Diablo killed her.
Teknique: I'm really sorry, Matt...
Matt: What?
Teknique: You know, you lost your...

Matt hit Teknique on the head.

Matt: She was never my girlfriend. We didn't even have that..."thing" that boyfriends and girlfriends have...I don't even have any idea what I'm talking about.
Teknique: Yeah, and- LOOK OUT!!

Teknique pushed Matt to the ground. What appeared to be half of a Twin Brand flew over their heads. Matt looked up and saw that Blade was holding the other half of the saber. Syphon was weaponless.

Matt: Teknique, go back and fight your brother, I'm gonna help Blade.
Teknique: Okay.

Teknique ran back to his brother, who was still knocked out. Meanwhile, Matt had run over to Blade.

Matt: How are you doing, Blade?
Blade: Don't help me. I can take him myself.
Matt: At least let me be back-up.
Blade: Fine. Go get the other half of the Twin Brand.

Matt ran off to get the other half of the weapon. Meanwhile, Blade was advancing on Syphon. Syphon didn't know what to do since he didn't have a weapon, so he grabbed a chair and hoisted it over his head. Blade ran towards Syphon, attempting to stab him with the blade, but Syphon swung the chair and hit Blade square in the face. Blade dropped the blade when he fell, and Syphon instantly picked it up and held the tip to Blade's face. Matt ran back with the other half of the Twin Brand and saw what was happening.

Matt: Blade, catch!

Matt threw the other half of the Twin Brand to Blade, which he caught with one hand. Quickly, he avoided the tip of Syphon's blade and got up. Then, they engaged in a sword-fight. None of them were getting any hits in for a few minutes, until Syphon made a counter-attack and cut off one of Blade's arms. Lucky for Blade, it wasn't the arm that was holding the saber. After a few minutes of no hits, they finally engaged in an interlock. Syphon was trying his hardest to not be pushed back by Blade, who had the upper hand in this because of his strength. Finally, Syphon managed to get enough strength inside of him to start to push Blade back, but Blade just kicked Syphon, which ended the interlock and sent Syphon sprawling to the floor. He had just enough time to look up and see Blade stab the saber into Syphon's chest. He felt a surge of electricity as the saber penetrated his armor. He saw that Blade was still holding on to it. Suddenly, he moved the saber to the right. Syphon suddenly couldn't feel his legs. He looked down and saw that they weren't even attached to him. Then, after Syphon's upper half hit the ground, he saw Blade lift the saber up, and slice it across Syphon's neck. Blade watched as the head rolled for a few seconds, and finally, the eyes on Syphon's head dimmed. He was finally dead.

Blade: I finally defeated him. I have finally gotten my revenge.
Matt: Now, let's go help Teknique.
Blade: Right.

During all of this fighting, Kritikal was still knocked out. Teknique was waiting for him to wake up.

Teknique: Why don't I just kill him while he's knocked out? No, I don't want it to end that way...
?????: Hey, you...

Teknique looked around in confusion.

Teknique: Me?
?????: Yes, you. I'm behind the table closest to you.

Teknique turned around and looked behind the table to see the President crouching behind a chair.

Teknique: What are you still doing here?!
President: There was no way I could get out with those Dark Shujin in the restaurant. But now that they're dead, I can leave.

Teknique turned around and saw Kritikal starting to move.

Teknique: Well, you'd better hurry up!
President: Before I go, I want to give you something. The Senator gave this to me, but I can't use it since I don't fight. And after seeing your skills with a sword, I thought I should give it to you.

The President handed a box to Teknique. When Teknique read the label, it said, "Asuka."

Teknique: The Asuka?! How did you get this?!
President: It was a gift from the Senator. He gave it to me because I helped him with some problems.

Teknique equipped the Asuka and looked at them. They were two red blades, each one looked extremely sharp.

Teknique: Thank you, Mr. President. Now, you'd better get out of here.
President: Right.

The President ran out of the restaurant. After that, Matt and Blade ran up to Teknique.

Matt: Hey, was that just the President? Hey, what weapon is that?
Teknique: The President just escaped, so we accomplished our mission. This weapon is a gift from him.

Kritikal finally awakened from his unconscious state and got up.

Kritikal: That was a good blow, brother...but it definitely wasn't enough to put me down for good.
Teknique: If that didn't do it, maybe this will...
Matt: Do you want us to help?
Teknique: No, I'm going to defeat him by myself.

Teknique charged towards Kritikal with the Asuka equipped. Kritikal appeared surprised, but he quickly dodged his brother.

Kritikal: When did you get those?!
Teknique: While you were knocked out.
Kritikal: That's good...but it is still no match for my Lavis Cannon.

Kritikal charged at Teknique with his Lavis Cannon. Teknique had no trouble defending the strikes, but Kritikal found it harder to even get near his brother now that he had two blades. In fact, he was having a lot of trouble defending Teknique's strikes. Now that he had two blades, the strikes were getting much faster, and Kritikal was slowing down as every second passed. After a few minutes of fighting, Teknique had noticed that his brother was at the end of his endurance. He wasn't able to defend any more blows. Teknique raised one of the blades.

Teknique: Your time on Ragol ends now.
Kritikal: ......You have two choices, brother. You can either kill me, or you can save your friends.
Teknique: Save them? From what?
Kritikal: THIS!

Kritikal equipped a bomb and threw it at Matt and Blade. The bomb landed on Matt, and much to his surprise, it stuck on to him.

Matt: AHH! GET IT OFF!

Kritikal held a detonator in his hand.

Kritikal: Make your choice, brother...
Teknique: ......

Quickly, Teknique grabbed the detonator out of Kritikal's hands and ran over to Matt. After a few seconds of struggling, he managed to get the bomb off of Matt. He now held it in his hand. Kritikal got very nervous.

Kritikal: You wouldn't kill your own brother, would you?
Teknique: After all that you've done, I have no choice.

Teknique threw the bomb towards Kritikal. It landed on his head. Kritikal immediately tried to pry it off. Teknique, Matt and Blade ran out of the restaurant. Teknique still had the detonator in his hand. After looking at his brother for one last time, he pressed the button. Inside, Kritikal saw the bomb start to flash.

Kritikal: NOOOOO!!!!

The bomb exploded, destroying everything inside the restaurant. The shockwave of the explosion knocked down Matt, Teknique and Blade. After the explosion, Teknique got up and looked at the restaurant. It had gone from a nice, luxurious restaurant to a smoldering pile of wreckage. Slowly, Teknique walked into the restaurant and looked for his brother. There was nothing left. After walking around for a while longer, Teknique found the only thing that remained: Kritikal's Lavis Cannon. It was in a terrible condition. Teknique picked it up and looked at it. He tossed the saber down, it reminded him too much of his brother. He took one last look at it though before walking out of the restaurant.

...I had no choice...

The End

[LJ]

Whoa! killing your own brother is tough.....even if he's trying to do the same to you. Great story man.

[Neonlantern]

Im glad I ended reading this, and even more glad you used my character (Teknique) in your story. Great job man!

[Raziel_Kai]

Most excellent... great ending for a riveting fic.

[BOC]

ooooooo, feel the shivers on my spine!

actually don't thats just wrong.

excellent ending to an excellent story snowy!

i thought that poor old alex woulda pulled through http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_frown.gif

well, in the end, the day was saved and the heros walked off into the sun set. or more likely the nearest medicentre.

well, now time to read the race against time!!

PEACE!!!

[Hippocanibal]

Okay im not gonna be mean about this but here is some CONSTRUCTIVE criticism =D.

1. I didnt think there were enough descriptive words. i mean the fight scenes were good but the talking that they did between them was crap =[. Some of the stuff they said was....ridiculous. No one talks like that in a battle. Next time i propose that thers not as much talking when fighting.

2. I dont think you described some of the places well enough. There was a train...a restaurant....a car...and thats about all i caught XD. Next time use plenty of descriptive words, make it a lil more interesting =D.

3. The bad guys...they sucked. there was absolutly no challenge to them. you just let the good guys walk alll over them. Next time i suggest you make it a little more challenging, and if someone dies dont let it be because she got cold feet and ran off. i can understand she was going crazy...but c'mon! =D.

Thats about it. I like the fighting scenes though. I suggest you try out for the ink write off or whatever the hell it is called for the best fight scene. Just make sure theres not too much talking =D

Once again, no hard feelings

[Cannibal-Snowman]

Actually, I was waiting for some constructive criticism. I was starting to get annoyed with "wow, this story is great!" and "can't wait for the next chapter!" Thank you for actually noticing things and commenting about them. My response to your criticism is this: I'm not that good of a writer. I know alot of descriptive words, I just don't know how or when to put them in. As for the talking, yes, it was pretty ridiculous. I'll try to do less talking during the fight scenes. I'm gonna PM you later about something. Okay?

[Hippocanibal]

kewl i got your pm. =D