People who wish to ride the road of despair..

[Mystil]

This is a non pso related rant.

Makes no damn sense to me. I just recently got out of a LONG friendship with someone who was like a sister to me. She was 14. She was just 12 when we met. She was depressed, worn out by her own life, had no one to teach her how to deal with harsh things. I saw her headingf down that same road I am still getting off of.

After she got well, she was doing better. But then she went through negative changes. Starting thinking 4x more terrible of herself and her life. It got to a point no matter how much of an example I made myself out of, or how much "discussing" of the matter we had, she clearly was going to continue to give up on her life.

This 14 year old..proved the point that age doesnt come with maturity. She knew many things that I know nothing of when I was 14. She had the best outlook of the world than anyone I knew. But this negative aura hanging over her was blocking her from her true potentional. It got worst and worst. Soon she turned all her friends away, and I was left.

My patience grew to zero when she said I knew nothing about her, despite knowing her past, talking to her on the phone or all that personal stuff which is enough to know anyone. Saying that NO ONE cared about her. I had cared alot for her, and took joy telling her that everyso often. It had felt like a heated NEEDLE went through my heart hearing say all these things. And so we got in the biggest fight in history. She hates all things, and her self and strives for nothing in life. She claims that life is worthless to live cause you will die anyhow.

To me that is souless empty talk.


She wishes to have no friends, and wants to be alone. To that affect she wishes to play with life. Ok, I know what it is like to be totally alone. And I mean NO FAMILY/NO FRIENDS/NO NOTHING! THAT is NO kind a life for no one! And no human being deserves to suffer like that. She can play with life like that...she will find out quick how powerful depression combined with loneliness is....


By now she's probably dead from suicide..she always talked about it, and even attempted. It was like her goal. I am ashamed that I failed to be a brother figure to this individual. I tried and tried and tried. For 2 long years. She'd seem to get better then flip out all over again. And once something dissappointes her, she will STAY sad for however how long. I have to sit there talking to her on the phone or on aim for hours and hours to bring some kind of light down her tunnel.

Look...

There is something good about every individual. Whether it is negative to othersshould not matter, they can't force no influence on you. . You ARE born with a purpose. You will at some point see *hints* to this purpose before realizing it. Life is not worthless. No one is worthless. They may feel that way, but they have to look past that negative barrier and look deeper inside themselves and see that there is so much more good things about them than there is bad. Take that knowlegde and use it as a tool to get where you want in life. While laughing in the face of adversity..

I wish she saw what I saw in her..







<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Silhouette on 2003-08-08 09:37 ]</font>


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Silhouette on 2003-08-08 09:41 ]</font>

[PaNicK]

Wait, you have no way of reaching her, or your afraid of what you might hear when you do...?

[univox]

I applaud you for trying to help. Often the only way out of a situation like her's is through her own actions. You can provide all the support you can give, but she needs to be willing to accept it.

And that's always the catch. You start that downward spiral of self loathing, digging yourself deeper and deeper, distancing yourself from everything including the most important thing. Yourself. It's not easy to help yourself when you hate yourself.

[Uncle_bob]

I know you already know this, but I know exactly how you feel. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_frown.gif

[Guile]

If you don't know yet her condition, I would try and get a hold of her. I guess one last go at it to try and convince her the truth about how you really do care for her. Even if it took going off on her, the more emotion used I think the better. But not to say you probaly have'nt already tried enough, but if she thinks that there is no one in this world caring and life is just nothing than she needs to wake up.

and if all else fails, you can always show her your thoughts on her with this thread.

[_J]

Indeed, nothing is black and white - you just have to hope she doesn't do anything stupid and lives to mature.

[ABDUR101]

You've helped her cope with many things, but in the end it is up to her to cope with it herself. You won't always be there to talk her down, she has to make the realization herself.

Yes, all life is precious, but everyone has different values to their life and the life of others around them. If someone can't find the reasoning behind living, it's nobodies fault, thats just their outlook.

To work your entire life, meeting all kinds of interesting people, having great experiences, and painful experiences, and getting older and possibly going to different places and seeing even more people and great sights...yes, it is sad that eventually we are all reduced to cowering in death beds, lamenting of what we can remember of the things we have seen and waiting to die, through sickness and ailments.

For some, this is just life, for others, life is the biggest torment, just a mere blink of things that get our hopes up of how great everything is, until it is finally snatched away, and then you're gone.

In effect, her view could be that life is moot in and of itself, because no matter what you gain, how hard you strive, how far you go, it's all gone in the end.

Yeah, you might have a great time, with the time that you have, but the end is the same for everyone. That is most likely what depressed her so much, the thought of having a great life, and in the end it would all be taken away.

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: ABDUR101 on 2003-08-08 13:52 ]</font>

[Ness]

You have done all you could, but in the end it's her who has to change herself. You can't help someone if they don't want to change.

[Slicer238]

Well, life is how YOU make it, influeneces from caring family and friends help you choose the right decisions. So you did what you could, I don't know how you managed to hold back from smacking sense into her though.

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Slicer238 on 2003-08-08 14:49 ]</font>

[Intimidacius]

Once again, people who focus on the negative see only the negative. When a person opens up to the positive things in life they realize that there is much more positive than anyone expects. Take Twinkies, for example. A negative mind finds the fat and sugar content, not to mention the hideous color, and sees a bit of a tumor waiting to happen. A positive thinker sees a food source with a shelf life to make roaches cry.
[quote]Mmmmmm-they're Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

[Mystil]

Yeah, I'll try one last time. I cannot deny my care for her no matter how she hates me-it's not everyday someone that is not related to you, to call you thier brother out of nowhere... I still feel that she needs some help, however much it is.

Panick- I can call/email her. But that is impossible to do the latter at this time. Only the former.

[Mystil]

It didn't work out. She doesn't even want to socialize with me anymore and proceeded to replace me with someoone that just got through making it clear that he did not care about her. Well there is nothing else I can do..about this. She don't want me around that's fine. I just hope everything that I had told her in our *final* conversation got through to her so she could use it not be a failure by the time she gets my age.

Thank you for all the advice and support here.

[_J]

I just hope everything that I had told her in our *final* conversation got through to her so she could use it not be a failure by the time she gets my age.


No. She will dissregard it and make a mistake. But she won't end up a "failure", just like you didn't. Things aren't that black and white.

[Robantifast]

I think your thread just stabbed straight through my heart...

I have a friend that's exactly the same way. No matter what I tell her she is always down on herself and never sees anything positive about herself. I love her but she insists she's a bad person...no matter what I say.

I admire you for doing what you did. I think your last line "I wish she saw what I saw in her.." describes it perfectly...I wish you luck with any further efforts you make.

[_J]

I think your thread just stabbed straight through my heart...

I have a friend that's exactly the same way. No matter what I tell her she is always down on herself and never sees anything positive about herself. I love her but she insists she's a bad person...no matter what I say.

I admire you for doing what you did. I think your last line "I wish she saw what I saw in her.." describes it perfectly...I wish you luck with any further efforts you make.


I think you and Sil should try taking them to shrinks. I mean they have some tricks they can do, which might work on kids. Simply saying to them what their good points are is sometimes never going to help - and shrinks have all sorts of techniques for getting through to kids, depending on the kid. I say kid, becuase when you get older you can pretty much guess what shrinks will say.

[Bradicus]

14? That is quite possibly the most depressing thing Ive heard.

Despite waht it may seem, i think that all she needs is a shock to her system to make her realize how precious life is. Humans have an incredible urge to survive that matches any cornered animal. Despite how deep it is buried, i cant believe that anyone could totally lose it. Perhaps all that is needed is a corner to bring it out.

The only thing you can do is to believe in her as much as you can and keep an eye on her so that nothing can happen before she reaches her turning point. What you have alredy done is above and beyond the call of ANYTHING a brother is expected to do. You have the hearts of everyone who read this behind you man.

At least that is how i feel.