MQuantum
Sep 21, 2003, 06:44 PM
Totally impromptu here... Thought I would try a short story. This will be a little........ Different. Yeah, that's it... If you start to freak out when reading this, don't worry, it gets better... (snickers...)
If you like this, I may do more... then again if you hate it, I still might do more...
*NOTE: I am in no way condoning the use of drugs, or mind-altering substances! Drugs are bad for you! And yes, you should go to Church!
___________________________
LSD's Fight with Falz!
The green armadillos dropped him off here. Lsd had no idea armadillos could fly... Well, he was HERE now, or where ever here is... or was... or something...
It was really, really bright! That was the first thing that struck him. Not the bright of, like, a light bulb being shoved into your eye socket, and then being turned on... Just the bright of day.
It must be the grass or something... He bent down and looked at the ground closely. There was no grass. Just a bunch of tin foil spray-painted yellow. I thought there was grass...
Remember how the first thing that struck him was the brightness? The next thing that struck him was a pick up truck. It ZOOOOMMMEDDD over him, and dumped a load of freshly cut grass on top of him. As he was shaking the grass out of his hair, he watched the driver speed off, giving him a friendly wave. Which turned into an insult, the dirty...*mumblemumblemumble*
He got up and ran after the truck, but a tree drew his attention. It was a big big big tree. For about a thousand tree houses... Or just regular houses...
When he finally arrived at the base of the tree (Man, that was a big hill!) He stopped to take a breather. As he was looking down, three kids appeared. They ran in circles, chanting in solemn voices. This is kind of weird... It's like that Zelda game I played a while back...
All of a sudden, to make matters worse, all the kids pulled out masks and put them on. One was a dragonhead, the other looked like a giant worm head, and the last was a cardboard box. That kid must have felt pretty stoopid, having a Vol Opt mask. HAHAHAHA! Funny...
After five minutes of them walking and singing, Lsd wanted them to shut up...
He took out a wooden dowel rod and smacked one of them on the head. I don't know where he gets the stick... Maybe he bought it a Lowe's... I know I'm the one writing the story, WHAT'S your POINT?
All the childs stopped. And cause an earthquake. Now that was strange...
So Lsd found him self in a grassy field, and a giant monolith looking really mean. I'm sure it's grass this time... He walked up to examine the big rock.
A little red person was sitting on top of a stone coffin. She hopped down and ran up to him. "Hiya, Hiya! I'm Rico, RRR for short! Thank you for savin' me from Falz!"
"Who is Falz?" Lsd was really confused now. About the time the girl popped up, it had some how bit him about how dumb this all was.
"FLAZ IS THE MASTER OF THE DARKNESS AND ALL THING BAD AND MEAN AND BADBAD!"
"You just called him 'Flaz.'"
RRR glared at him. Then she lunged forward and bit off his nose. He screamed in pain, clutching his face. RRR disappeared in a puff of smoke.
Some time between the moment of screaming, and the moment of yelling, Lsd's nose grew back. So he quit screaming.
RRR's voice sounded from the great heavens above him. "FLAZ IS COMING FOR YOU!"
A huge evil being materialized in front of him. He looked down and saw he was standing on a screaming face. He fell over onto his butt, but the evil butt in front of him regained his attention.
"Insert 1337 talk that says 'Banana bread tastes bad when you let your dog sleep on it!"
"What did you just say?!"
"Puny human, you will die!"
"No, no, you said some thing about dog, and bread!"
"Ok, I said 'Banana bread tastes bad when you let your dog sleep on it!'"
Oh... Falz is in a baaaadd mood....
"You must be in a bad mood." Lsd didn't realize Falz disliked the obvious.
"PUNY HUMAN! YOU WILL DIE!"
Lsd closed his eyes. This has to be a dream... GO AWAY YOU CREEPY MONSTER!
Falz smacked Lsd really hard on the head with one of his arms. "DON'T GO TO SLEEP! I'M SUPPOSED TO KILL YOU."
Lsd frowned. Then he pulled out his only form of defense. His wooden dowel rod! He charged forward towards Falz, emitting a high-pitched shriek the was supposed to be a battle cry!
"mmmmmmmmmmmrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeppppppppppppiiiiiiii iioooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnn!"
Falz bent down to look closely at the small shape. The little thing it had in its hands seemed familiar...
?"OH MY GOSH! NOOOOOOO! THE LITTLE ONE HAS A SEALED J-SWORD! I'M DOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDD!"
Falz began to slide around in circles, while Lsd continued to thwack it with his stick. After about 37 straight hours of this, Falz decided to die.
Or, not. He just skipped to his final stage. Y'Know, the invincible one?
"how long have you been playing PSO, you pathetic duper? ST ought to shut you down!"
Lsd continued to be confused. "What the heck is PSO?"
"now, i'm being embarrassed, the twerp doesn't even know that he's about to beat the game, or that he is even in the game!" DF began to cry.
"Oh well..." Lsd kept beating the crap out of Falz.
Within seconds, Df was dead. D-E-D. Dead. Cuz that sealed J-sword is just that good. And he turned into RRR again. But she flew away into the sky, because she always wanted to be a seagull. Kind of like on that other Legend of Zelda game...
So Lsd got into the warp. It took him to some highly advanced civilization. He took another warp, because that felt right too. And ended up in the Principal's office.
It's just one of those things you KNOW. The principal's office. It's way too clean, and there's no chairs. So it has to be a principal's office. Lsd walked up to the old graying guy.
"Sir, Ragol is safe, I killed your daughter, she bit off my nose, Falz speaks 1337 talk, and gray hair is a disease."
Tyrell began to cry. As Lsd was walking away, he looked over his shoulder at Irene beginning to comfort him. Sounds like: "I'm going to lose all my hair...", "No one can love a graying old man..." and "waaaannnnhhhhhh!" drifted from the back.
Lsd smiled. Mission accomplished. He stepped into the glowing green warp and left.
The fifteen minutes of credits were very satisfactory.
When they were done, Lsd turned around.
"GREEN FLYING ARMADILLOS! WHERE AM I NOW?!"
But that is a different story... and quite possibly, not one to be told...
If you like this, I may do more... then again if you hate it, I still might do more...
*NOTE: I am in no way condoning the use of drugs, or mind-altering substances! Drugs are bad for you! And yes, you should go to Church!
___________________________
LSD's Fight with Falz!
The green armadillos dropped him off here. Lsd had no idea armadillos could fly... Well, he was HERE now, or where ever here is... or was... or something...
It was really, really bright! That was the first thing that struck him. Not the bright of, like, a light bulb being shoved into your eye socket, and then being turned on... Just the bright of day.
It must be the grass or something... He bent down and looked at the ground closely. There was no grass. Just a bunch of tin foil spray-painted yellow. I thought there was grass...
Remember how the first thing that struck him was the brightness? The next thing that struck him was a pick up truck. It ZOOOOMMMEDDD over him, and dumped a load of freshly cut grass on top of him. As he was shaking the grass out of his hair, he watched the driver speed off, giving him a friendly wave. Which turned into an insult, the dirty...*mumblemumblemumble*
He got up and ran after the truck, but a tree drew his attention. It was a big big big tree. For about a thousand tree houses... Or just regular houses...
When he finally arrived at the base of the tree (Man, that was a big hill!) He stopped to take a breather. As he was looking down, three kids appeared. They ran in circles, chanting in solemn voices. This is kind of weird... It's like that Zelda game I played a while back...
All of a sudden, to make matters worse, all the kids pulled out masks and put them on. One was a dragonhead, the other looked like a giant worm head, and the last was a cardboard box. That kid must have felt pretty stoopid, having a Vol Opt mask. HAHAHAHA! Funny...
After five minutes of them walking and singing, Lsd wanted them to shut up...
He took out a wooden dowel rod and smacked one of them on the head. I don't know where he gets the stick... Maybe he bought it a Lowe's... I know I'm the one writing the story, WHAT'S your POINT?
All the childs stopped. And cause an earthquake. Now that was strange...
So Lsd found him self in a grassy field, and a giant monolith looking really mean. I'm sure it's grass this time... He walked up to examine the big rock.
A little red person was sitting on top of a stone coffin. She hopped down and ran up to him. "Hiya, Hiya! I'm Rico, RRR for short! Thank you for savin' me from Falz!"
"Who is Falz?" Lsd was really confused now. About the time the girl popped up, it had some how bit him about how dumb this all was.
"FLAZ IS THE MASTER OF THE DARKNESS AND ALL THING BAD AND MEAN AND BADBAD!"
"You just called him 'Flaz.'"
RRR glared at him. Then she lunged forward and bit off his nose. He screamed in pain, clutching his face. RRR disappeared in a puff of smoke.
Some time between the moment of screaming, and the moment of yelling, Lsd's nose grew back. So he quit screaming.
RRR's voice sounded from the great heavens above him. "FLAZ IS COMING FOR YOU!"
A huge evil being materialized in front of him. He looked down and saw he was standing on a screaming face. He fell over onto his butt, but the evil butt in front of him regained his attention.
"Insert 1337 talk that says 'Banana bread tastes bad when you let your dog sleep on it!"
"What did you just say?!"
"Puny human, you will die!"
"No, no, you said some thing about dog, and bread!"
"Ok, I said 'Banana bread tastes bad when you let your dog sleep on it!'"
Oh... Falz is in a baaaadd mood....
"You must be in a bad mood." Lsd didn't realize Falz disliked the obvious.
"PUNY HUMAN! YOU WILL DIE!"
Lsd closed his eyes. This has to be a dream... GO AWAY YOU CREEPY MONSTER!
Falz smacked Lsd really hard on the head with one of his arms. "DON'T GO TO SLEEP! I'M SUPPOSED TO KILL YOU."
Lsd frowned. Then he pulled out his only form of defense. His wooden dowel rod! He charged forward towards Falz, emitting a high-pitched shriek the was supposed to be a battle cry!
"mmmmmmmmmmmrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeppppppppppppiiiiiiii iioooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnn!"
Falz bent down to look closely at the small shape. The little thing it had in its hands seemed familiar...
?"OH MY GOSH! NOOOOOOO! THE LITTLE ONE HAS A SEALED J-SWORD! I'M DOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDD!"
Falz began to slide around in circles, while Lsd continued to thwack it with his stick. After about 37 straight hours of this, Falz decided to die.
Or, not. He just skipped to his final stage. Y'Know, the invincible one?
"how long have you been playing PSO, you pathetic duper? ST ought to shut you down!"
Lsd continued to be confused. "What the heck is PSO?"
"now, i'm being embarrassed, the twerp doesn't even know that he's about to beat the game, or that he is even in the game!" DF began to cry.
"Oh well..." Lsd kept beating the crap out of Falz.
Within seconds, Df was dead. D-E-D. Dead. Cuz that sealed J-sword is just that good. And he turned into RRR again. But she flew away into the sky, because she always wanted to be a seagull. Kind of like on that other Legend of Zelda game...
So Lsd got into the warp. It took him to some highly advanced civilization. He took another warp, because that felt right too. And ended up in the Principal's office.
It's just one of those things you KNOW. The principal's office. It's way too clean, and there's no chairs. So it has to be a principal's office. Lsd walked up to the old graying guy.
"Sir, Ragol is safe, I killed your daughter, she bit off my nose, Falz speaks 1337 talk, and gray hair is a disease."
Tyrell began to cry. As Lsd was walking away, he looked over his shoulder at Irene beginning to comfort him. Sounds like: "I'm going to lose all my hair...", "No one can love a graying old man..." and "waaaannnnhhhhhh!" drifted from the back.
Lsd smiled. Mission accomplished. He stepped into the glowing green warp and left.
The fifteen minutes of credits were very satisfactory.
When they were done, Lsd turned around.
"GREEN FLYING ARMADILLOS! WHERE AM I NOW?!"
But that is a different story... and quite possibly, not one to be told...