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View Full Version : A midsummer night's dream.



Bradicus
Oct 30, 2003, 06:16 PM
So the duke of athens is REALLY horney cuz he is getting married in like a week or someshit. Then this old dude name Egeus shows up with his daughter Hermia sayin "hey duke! show this ho what's what!" Turns out that the old guy wants his girl to marry some asshole called Demitrius that she hates, n she wants to marry the guy with the pimpinest name around, Lysander. The duke gets all pissy and tells her that she can either listen to the old bastard, die, or be a virgen forever. She wants to get some, so she and Lysander plan to go off into the country n start multiplyin like rabbits. She tells her friend Helena what is going down, but the treacherous ho tells Demitrius cuz she is bat-shit-insane... and she loves him.

Ketchup345
Oct 30, 2003, 06:37 PM
Interesting way to put that. That was a hilarious summary. Wish I read that before I had to read it for school.

Allos
Oct 30, 2003, 06:38 PM
For just 89 cents a day, you can sponsor this underprivelaged child or one just like him.

Bradicus
Oct 30, 2003, 06:39 PM
*growls at allos*
who wants the next scene?

Allos
Oct 30, 2003, 06:41 PM
Don't make me demote you!

But anyway, on with your scene!



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Allos on 2003-10-30 15:41 ]</font>

Bradicus
Oct 30, 2003, 06:58 PM
So the whole crew is out in the forest k? Lysander mackin on hermia, Demitrius huntin the lovebirds as the queen tard, helena, falls all over him. While all the lovin (and lack of) goes on, the head cheese of the fairy, folk (Oberon) is getting pissed. His wife, Titania adopted some little freak child from India, and now he isnt getting any fine fairy ass. He gets his main man, puck, to find a flower that will make her fall in love with the first lucky basterd of an animal that she sees. As the big man fairy plots, Demitrius and helena walk by. Helena is all like "LOVE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" and d-man is all like "Phreak!". The O-meister figures he may as well kill two birds with one stone, and tells puck to put wacky mojo in Demitrius' eyes.

Kizaragu
Oct 30, 2003, 07:07 PM
If Brad's summary of MND is the food of love, summarise on.

I was made for shakespeare. It's in my blood see.

Shoot me.

It was my birthday to... *looks at clock and notices it's 10 past 12*...yesterday. I'm now 20.
From this post on you will see a significant difference in my style of writing.
For I am now a man.

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Kizaragu on 2003-10-30 16:10 ]</font>

Bradicus
Oct 30, 2003, 07:12 PM
On 2003-10-30 16:07, Kizaragu wrote:
If Brad's summary of MND is the food of love, summarise on.

I was made for shakespeare. It's in my blood see.

Shoot me.

It was my birthday to... *looks at clock and notices it's 10 past 12*...yesterday. I'm now 20.
From this post on you will see a significant difference in my style of writing.
For I am now a man.

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Kizaragu on 2003-10-30 16:10 ]</font>

*sneers*

edit- cant even get a one word post right -_-;



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Bradicus on 2003-10-30 16:30 ]</font>

Kizaragu
Oct 30, 2003, 07:23 PM
Don't sneer at me boy. I'm all man now.

Shadow82
Oct 30, 2003, 08:12 PM
Man,if Brad's version was in my class,I coulda passed all the tests no problem

Captain_Bob
Oct 30, 2003, 08:38 PM
We're not doing any shakespere(sp?) At my school, we're going over "the diary of anne frank"....
f****** nazis....
I'm gonna play some wolfenstein....

LamerPanda
Oct 30, 2003, 08:41 PM
I do Shakespeare, too!

I knew him, Horatio (http://www.geocities.com/lamerpanda/clay/spamlet.txt)

Bradicus
Oct 30, 2003, 10:11 PM
Now whilst all this crazed shit is hapening, a bunch of local guys are planning a play for the Dukes shindig. Problem is, that they are a bunch of tards. Quince, the directer, has chosen some ghey fable about young lovers killin themselves (for a fekking WEDDING!). This one actor, Bottom, is a total spotlight hog, and he tries to play all of the damn parts.

Quince- bottom, you kan be Pyramus k?
Bottom- aw hell ya! I'ma be the best damn Pyraguy eva!!!
Quince- Snug, u can be the lion
Bottom- aw common man, i would be a bitchin lion!
Quince- STFU! Thisbe will be played by...
Bottom- oh! oh! memememememememeeeeeee!
Quince- gha! S.T.F.U!!!!!!!

and so on. these brainiacs decide to go practice in the forest outside o town.

By this time, Oberon has put the love goo in Titania's sleeping eyes (sounds kinky 0_o) And Puck happens upon Lysander and Hermia. Lysander was trying a little too hard to get on Hermia's bone, so she told him to sleep on the other side of the clearing (I am not making this up). For this reason, the little elf man thinks that they are Demitrius and Helena. The dumbass puts the whammy on Lysander's eyes.

Mixfortune
Oct 31, 2003, 12:55 AM
Hmmm, I never had to read this in school, but I think I'll just read this version and claim I read it. *cough*

Maybe I can freak him out again by changing my avatar...

Enyalis_Cho
Oct 31, 2003, 01:55 AM
Brad, you never cease to amaze me....

Allos
Oct 31, 2003, 04:07 PM
Nor I.

Ketchup345
Oct 31, 2003, 05:26 PM
Nice summaries. Do you think you can do one for MacBeth? And also, how bout one for The Sword in the Stone (the title goes something like that, can never remember the real name)?



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Ketchup345 on 2003-10-31 14:27 ]</font>

Bradicus
Oct 31, 2003, 06:24 PM
The troupe of 'tards start to practice their little play deep in the woods, and as usual, bottom is being a dumfuck.

Bottom- this story is teh sux, all da chickas will be ascared when Pyramus dies... what if we tell them that we are just actors?
Quince- k
Bottom- and when the lion appears, they might shat themselves! How 'bout we just make the costume really ghetto, and Snug can say "I'm not a lion!"
Quince- k
Snug- me no read good!

They dont really give the females much credit, but i wont get into why.

Puck is watching the idiots from a bush or something, and decides to have some fun. When Bottom leaves the group to take a leak, Puck gives the poor bastard a donkey head.
-----------------------------------------------
just so everyone know the "subtle" humor being used here,

Bottom = man with donkey head
Donkey = ass
therefore Bottom = Asshead

Wow. And people think Shakespear is so clever. I have made more circumspect jokes about the last name "Woodcock"..... anyway

-------------------------------------------------

When Bottom comes back, all the actors are like
"AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!! its teh devilzorz!!!!!!"
And run away. Bottom still doesn't know what the hell is going on, so he just starts singing (its in the story kiddies). It just so happens that his donkey song wakes up Titania. Because of the luv juice, she is all
"Hubba hubba!!! Come 'ere sweet thing!"
As usual, Bottom doesnt have a clue. Puck is laughing his ass of, and goes to tell Oberon.



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Bradicus on 2003-10-31 16:09 ]</font>