Friendships

[Soukosa]

What is with people and friendships? I have some "friends" that pretty much only consider me as one since I'm there and I can talk to them without causing problems. Then I have some other "friends" that only seem to talk to me when they're in the mood to mess with something (like PSO). As we climb down the ladder, we get into the people that have come to me, somehow, and seem to see me as a "friend" since I'm nice them and treat them well while their other "friends" don't treat them. But, in the end, I end up getting treated badly them, probably like how they were treated and whined to me about. Lower yet, we have people that come to me, acting all nice and all, making it seem like they want to be friends with me and all, but when I try to make a friendship with them, they don't seem to any more and pretty much go on as if I'm not even there. At the bottom, we have the people that have come to me, wanting to be friends with me and managed to do so. We get along for awhile, then suddenly, they just take off, since they most likely didn't really want to be friends with me, they just wanted to use me for something. Looking at all of this, with at least one instance of all of those happening in the last few months, I wonder how I can still have so much trust left for the people in this world and can even bother trying to form friendships with others. Oh well, I just wanted to get this out before I go and breakdown some where.

[NKOTB]

I will say it again, (and probably again and again) use people for all you can before they use you.

[Shake]

Just find people better than all of these types. I know some good people, drop me a line if you want.

It took me almost a year to find good people. What a long and dangerous walk it was to find them.

[Mystil]

Shyness has gotten the best of me in many friendships
in the past.

SHARE TIME!

However I can relate, especially after all the backstabbing I have endored in the past two years. With three heartbreaks in there too. I have nil trust in people, there's no need in lying about that. And I have almost ZERO trust in females(with a lil hate). But I will still give a person the benefit of the doubt. I tend to forgive too easily.

Using PSO as an example, some of the humars and male rangers, usually only stick around cause they think I'm female. They mail and mail and mail. JOIN bout every game I'm in. TALK to me. But once they get wind that I'm a guy ~ thier fake friendship becomes visible. Like one guy...I want get into that though..the fact that he was just being 'friendly' for THAT reason, PISSES me off so much. I can't understand my own gender sometimes.

Yes there were some females who were friends with me, just for a 'value' that I had. And some dated me, cause the guy they had on the side(that I would not know about until they 'patched' things up)was treating them like whores, so to speak.

(Almost done)

My 3 best childhood friends. 1 remains. The other two went from great friends, to betrayers. They would borrow stuff from me and never give it back. Come in my house and take things. Always asked me for money. Always tried to fight me. They would do all the things a friend SHOULD do, to keep me around though. Which is my fault. Until one day they broke in my house the first time and stole every game that I had. Then the second time, they took all my moms stuff. Police did nothing. I didn't understand there reason. I GAVE one of them my N64, cause he said he needed one, cause his was broke, I didn't play on it no more, and remembering all the things he done for me in the past, I felt this was best. THEN my PSone, which he never had.(He's a ninty fan). So there's my thanks from him. 115 games 4 consoles swiped away.

During all that, I blamed the only best friend I knew since we were 6. I thought it was him all the long.

There was a member here on the boards...he's no longer here. He was...a great friend. A cool guy, or so I thought..well the emails stopped. HE mentioned something about 'not enough time'. 'So busy'...then he just stopped..

Another person persay from ~ PSO. Used me. All he ever did was complain complain about his girl problems to me. Thinking back on what mom said 'it takes two'. I shared some of my own with him. TRIED to. EVerytime I did, he'd make short work of what I had to say, then blast me for like an hour with his own problems. Infact, all the time, he had something to dump on me. He wouldn't get in a game with me. Or anything, just stuck himself in a lobby with a drama cloud over him, waiting for Dump Bucket Wes. IN the beginning of the friendship, he gave me his phone number(we live in the same state). He considered it *real*. Only three people online has ever done that for me, I take the friendship very personally when they do that, cause that's a sign of trust. One is left. Therefore ~ that doesn't mean always..

(You have good patience ^_^)

He would never email me either. Before I got the internet, my so call friends would never call me. I call them..but they always had something else to do. THEN wth a miracle when they do call me, it's like for 3 minutes, or they cut me off when I get to talking. Only Daniels(only best friend) ever called me with the intentions to have a conversation.

People AIM me from various boards, asking me this and that. Then I never hear from them again. Some potential friendships fire off to a good start. Then fade, when someone 'cooler' than me comes into the picture and I'm forgotten.

Done.
==============

Now to add solice.


My motto with people is, if you're not going to be serious. Do not ingage in a friendship period. If you have no interest~ don't waste thier time. Remember, you were hurt too at one point by someone who was untrue. Why invocate(err invoke?) this feeling on another. No one likes a liar. It takes twooo baby! It takes twoooo babyyyy! It's just me and you! dun dun dun dun du- err oops. Sorry. ^_^

Friendships are all about giving and recieving. Forgiving and forgetting. Cooperation, reliability and trust. It's not ever going to last if one of these conditions are missing. Values...people always take interest in another for some value..(hey...he/she has money, I'm wanna be his friend. Once he's broke, I'm outta there in a flash!)

Stick with them..VALUE alright..~ how about valuing the fact that there friend you're going to backstab could be THERE for you in a time of need. People(Friends) will remember you for the things you have done for them, and to them(relative to emotions).

I don't know you that well, but usually the nicer more worthy people(cause you probably consider yourself one) that can be considered the kinds that ARE good friends by nature ~ are the ones being stabbed by Master Toneberrys' Chef Knife. I know this *pulls shirt* Look at this scared to hell back. Oh LORD! But! *Pulls heart out*


There are thee names on my heart.

Forget all them loser fake friends, they don't your friendship. The ones who are still around are your real friends. And all you should be concerned with.







<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Silhouette on 2003-12-01 08:31 ]</font>

[geewj]

On 2003-12-01 00:42, NKOTB wrote:
I will say it again, (and probably again and again) use people for all you can before they use you.



Do you ever give any good advice? What you just said describes perfectly some of the assholes she was talking about in her post.

[Wewt]

There's a reason I am seen as an asshole on the internet, and that is because being nice doesn't pay off.

[Superguppie]

I know the feeling, Sounomi. There are many out there that are just fooling around. Many that are just out for their own little selves. And there are many that are just sniffing for friends. Many of the younger ones (i.e. 18-) don't even know what friendship is. Those are probably the ones that call you friends without you knowing why.
The result is many contacts and vague acquaintances, among which, occasionaly, a friend can be found.
Friendship requires more than just knowing eachother and being nice. Something I can't define has to be there. It's not like lightning striking, but more like a common frame of mind that slowly reveals itself. The only way I know to find out who is on your frequency is to play a lot with many. I play a lot on 50Hz. There's only 1 ship, and most ppl never go beyond block 1. This means you see a lot of familiar faces and learn to know eachother, who's to like and who isn't. Also, most assholes are in a region without 50Hz access. When I look at the 60Hz servers, most are scarcely populated. And the places that are not are to a large extent filled with assholes that make any form of making friends hard.
So far I have found my few friends and the game has become very good by it. We are currently hunting for some equipement that needed replacement because on of those good friend decided to dump all hacks/dupes/suspected stuff. GOD/FUN at last!

It's hard to make out the real friends from the acquaintances and egoists, but if you stick with'it and play and chat a lot with the potential friends, I am confident you will find out who is who.

@Silhouette:
You might wanna edit that first alinea. You state nil trust in people and almost ZERO trust in females. So females aren't people?????



On 2003-12-01 09:03, WWWWWWWWWWWW wrote:
There's a reason I am seen as an asshole on the internet, and that is because being nice doesn't pay off.

I am sorry to hear you didn't have the patience to find out it does. I have had the patience and have the results, even though they are small.

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Superguppie on 2003-12-01 09:08 ]</font>

[LamerPanda]

And I have almost ZERO trust in females(with a lil hate).

How fair.

I don't know about anyone else, but for me, friendships tend to come and go. I'll get along great with someone for a little while, but then we'll get more and more distant until eventually one of us moves on. It applies both offline and online, and unfortunately I tend to dwell on both much later, when it's too late to find the other person again. Even if I did find them, I doubt they'd want to associate with me, since most people leave me behind rather than the other way around. There are very few that end on bad notes, it's mostly a lack of interest than anything else.

I have two close friends right now, I've had them for years. We get in our share of fights (well, it's really just me and one of them), sometimes we'll split for a bit, but we always end up back together. We have fun, and we're pretty close. Still, sometimes it's bothersome, I worry for days if they seem to be distant or if they're in trouble. I know at least one of them doesn't entirely trust me and tell me everything, but I can't say I blame them, I'm lousy emotional support. I give decent advice, but it's not heartfelt, it's just cold facts. I'm lousy at that. Sometimes, I think having friends isn't all it's cracked up to be, and that it just leaves you a sore, nervous wreck. Whenever I get worn out, though, something good happens, and I feel better. In the long run, I'd say it's worth it, even if we go through some rough patches here and there.

Yeah, there'll always be people you think are your friends that'll leave you. That's life, you have to learn to live with it. Stick with the true friends you do find and hope for the best, that's really all you can do.

[Kizaragu]

I don't know if the people you meet tend to deliberately abandon you.
I'm probably one of those people. Since I've left college, I've lost contact with so many great friends that I didn't mean too, it just happened? It's the old 'oh I'll call them tomorow, or the next day, or the day after that...' routine. I would really like to meet up with them, it's just I never get round to it. it's quite sad really. :S

Hell I rarely speak to my best friend any more since he moved to university. Spoke to him a bit by phone at first but that kind of stopped. (Plus they took away the phones from his flat so calling his mobile was expensive.) If I didn't have the Internet, I guess I don't think I get to speak to him at all. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_frown.gif

It's not something I personally do on purpose. It just happens. It's easy to lose touch I guess?

[Wewt]

On 2003-12-01 09:04, Superguppie wrote:
I am sorry to hear you didn't have the patience to find out it does. I have had the patience and have the results, even though they are small.

Actually, I had the patience. I've met a couple of friends that I met via the internet. One even flew across the atlantic to visit me. She's from Missouri, US, and I'm from England.

[KaFKa]

...there is a problem i see here: people are too willing to latch on to anything that looks even remotely like kindness. i've met someone, talked to him for about an hour, we exchanged email adresses, and i didnt expect to see him again. not to say he wasnt a nice guy and all, but i don't expect that of people (maybe its just me) very few people i know have earned enough respect and trust to call them friends.

not to say that i DTA, but most people in this world are just bottom-feeding bitches that only think about the short-term, screwing people over. i find it really funny when someone tries to get me to give them money when i've only known them for a month.

of my few friends, we are like family. i've known each for at least 7-8 years. we always go out of our way for one another, hell, Drew (my closest friend) saved my life wile risking his.

people tend to think of a close aquaintance<---(spelling!) as a friend, and i just dont understand that. maybe it's me, but almost everybody wants "friends" just to hype their own drama and leech off of people. really sad when people do that, especially when someone that is innocent enough to think that they're a "real" friend and make sacrifices beyond what is expected of almost anyone.

so theres my rant, hope it halfway helps.

[SpikeOtacon]

I myself find friends, especially true friends hard to come by these days. REALLY hard to come by.
A few years ago in my old school, some of my classmates had set me up for a prank that had embarrased the hell outta me. These were some people whom I have known for YEARS and had always been on good terms with them. We had only recently at the time, became 'friends'. We hung out more, we did more together, we cared about what happened to each other, helped out when nessicary...
Then after that prank, I had hated Humanity as a whole, thinking that all of them were cruel and only wanted to use me and treat me like shit. So for a while I had barley spoken a word to anyone, except for a bit of kindness and consideration for others. I got new friends, and they haven't backstabbed me yet. However, I do not have the best of luck becoming friends with members of the opposite sex. My friends include mostly guys, and one girl (Woulda been two if my ex hadn't pushed me so hard). I still have my doubts about other people, and I try to be careful about WHO is a friend, who is a neutral, and who wants to betray me.
As I mentioned before in my breakup rant, most of the people I've met IRL are asses. I really don't care for having too many 'friends' but I do need a few. I hate being alone, and if anything that's the one thing that scares me more than death.

[KodiaX987]

I've stopped believing in friendship a long time ago. I don't know anyone my age in a 1-hour radius around my home and feel okay this way. I'm hopelessly bored at parties 100% of the time, and the sole perspective of sticking with friends means fucking up my homework schedule, which is iron-clad since I study sciences. I've lost my oldest friend this summer after he moved to another town. The little fucker never game me his phone number, nor the free fair tickets that he had promised so many times, and just yesterday he pops up on MSN Messenger and goes "Hey, what's up?" I blocked him, ignorant bastard. How am I supposed to trust him if he never does what he promises? I've been indulgent for too long, so fuck him. Twice.

The funny thing is that it's easier to pick out friendly people on the net than in real life. I mean, on the net we are like billions of people in a single room. Just shout "Hey, I like rock music!" and you are absolutely sure to hear someone go "Hey, me too! Which groups?" and the conversation begins.

The future of friendship: 90% meeting with people from the net, and 10% being raped and killed by people from the net. The risk is negligible... http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_rolleyes.gif

[anwserman]

I had a (once really good friend) that backstabbed me MANY many times. Oh yes, many times. Now I want the asshole to die.

And it wasn't just me, it was him period. He'd befriend some people, then he'd become the little kniving snot that would pit everyone against each other, and once he got bored causing hatred between hsi friends, he'd find new ones to do the same things to them too.

His name is Joseph Pudas, and he currently resides in the Madison area of WI (UW-Madison)... oh yes, he is such a genius since he graduated a year early (in my class unfortunately), he has an ego the size of Texas. Avoid him at all costs.

[LamerPanda]

Meh, I don't even worry about friends being reliable anymore, that seems to be too much to ask for. O_o

Nah, I'm just kidding, mine are pretty good, but no one's perfect. I'm still waiting for a Christmas present from one and a birthday present from the other, we used to do gift exchanges but those sort of died a while ago. XD Probably my fault because it took me about half a year to get a friend a birthday present. (Sorry, Zil!)

I try not to worry about the minor stuff because no one is 100% reliable. ^-^;

[KodiaX987]

On 2003-12-01 13:20, anwserman wrote:
His name is Joseph Pudas, and he currently resides in the Madison area of WI (UW-Madison)... oh yes, he is such a genius since he graduated a year early (in my class unfortunately), he has an ego the size of Texas. Avoid him at all costs.


Those guys are the worst. They piss you off, but you can't get back at them since they are Mr. Perfect and do everything right and know everything. Motherfuckers.

[ABDUR101]

The only friends I have are online, and the only people I get along with in real life are people 30+ years older than me. Unfortunately I've been laid off since the beginning of October and haven't been around any of them since, but atleast I'll be back in January.

Everyone just fits in differently. Everyone I've met around my age in this area, I don't feel comfortable around any of them. I've lived back a dead end road way out in no where all my life, with three older sisters and a brother 5 years older than me, so I've pretty much learned to just keep myself busy and entertained.

If I find someone worth being a friend, great, if we drift apart, it happens, if they're asses, I don't consider them a friend and they're not worth my time. I don't really need to let some annoying twit annoy me to the extent that I'm questioning all of humanity, because there are rejects all over, and we're all going to run into them. I like to look at them as pebbles on the road, minor inconveniences that are quickly forgotten.

[Firocket1690]

Somewhere at the top of this thread, Kodi wrote:
I've stopped believing in friendship a long time ago. I don't know anyone my age in a 1-hour radius around my home and feel okay this way. I'm hopelessly bored at parties 100% of the time, and the sole perspective of sticking with friends means fucking up my homework schedule, which is iron-clad.
Ditto.


On 2003-12-01 15:04, ABDUR101 wrote:
The only friends I have are online, and the only people I get along with in real life are people 30+ years older than me.

I second that!


Ah, There's this sharp pain in my back, like someone put a knife there or something... Other than that, I'm okay. ~ Whatsisname from Shanghai Knights

I love my nonexistant social life !!
So far, in the past five years in the same school, I've had about 5 ~ 6 friends ...

Two just move away during 5th and 7th grade summer break (*poof*)

One becomes the class nerd and starts studying his ass off and "has no time to waste with me." (doesn't know me anymore)

One has a mother who tried to kill him with a knife because he accidentally knocked down a bird cage. Parents ended up divorcing and he moved to Hackettstown with his dad. (AIM)

My best friend has a dad who works in Toyota and had to go back to Japan.
(still e~mail)

-_- ever wonder why Firocket1690 is always online ?(if I'm on your buddy list)

[Mystil]

On 2003-12-01 11:11, LamerPanda wrote:
And I have almost ZERO trust in females(with a lil hate).

How fair.




Oh that's alittle something I need to keep to myself huh? However when I say no trust in females, I mean as far as love is concerned.

There's a reason I am seen as an asshole on the internet, and that is because being nice doesn't pay off

It surely does not.

You might wanna edit that first alinea. You state nil trust in people and almost ZERO trust in females. So females aren't people?????
There's alot of corrections I need to make in that rather large post. *Sigh* to clarify this bit: I have nil trust in people period, but will give them the benefit of a doubt. A very..small one.

Anyhow..Sounomi, I surely hope you don't go through too much of this.


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Silhouette on 2003-12-02 12:10 ]</font>

[SubstanceD]

I have no enemies, well at least none that I am aware of, I try my damn best to get on with everyone and everyone seems to get along with me. As for friends, I call alot of people friends and alot of people call me friend but when you really get down to it I don't think I actually have any 'true' friends since I am not close with anyone.

Back when I was younger I had several close friends who I would hang out with on a regular basis and stuff but those days came to an end when my parents shipped me off to a different continent. Because I moved at an awkward time in my life ( mid-late teens ) it was hard to make friends since everyone was already had there cliques and stuff. There was also the fact that I was not interested in the same stuff they were ( drinking, clubbing, drinking, getting high, drinking ) so I had no real intrest in getting to know these people. That's the way it was when I was in school and that has not changed now that I am not.

There are times when I do think it sucks that I have no close friends ( especially now since I have been forced to move to the middle of nowhere ) but you know what for the most part I have no regrets, I am very quiet, very shy, I enjoy my own company and I also get easily annoyed when I am around others for extended periods of time.

Even if I had more in common with the Irish chances are that I still would not have any close friends. Thats just the way I am, I am very shy so it does take a while for me to become comfortable enough around someone to show them the real me. Likewise I am not exactly quick to let others into my life.

Because I have had to do my fare share of moving I have developed a very un-healthy attitude to friendship, to me friends are easily dissposable. At one job I worked at I goty on very well with all my collegues and when I left the company they asked me to keep in touch ( once again I call alot of people friend and alot of people friends but I don't have any 'true' friends ), I have made no effort to keep in touch neither do I have any desire to see any of them, it not that I hate them or anything since they were all pretty decent folk, it's just that as sclose as I was to them and they were to me I will never be 'best pals' with any of them and as such I did not see any point in resuming any contact with them. Now that I have left my most recent job I find that once again I am alienating myself from my former collegues, they want me to attend a piss up ( ie. lots of booze ) next week but I don't think I can fit into my schedule ( I live in the middle of fucking nowhere, getting to Dublin is going to be hard enough ) and quite frankly I don't really mind or care that I may not be able to make it. I just don't see the point, I go my way, they go thiers.

In all my life I think I have only made 'one true' friend, I met him when I was 6 and we grew up togther and I would have to say that he probably knows me better than any other person on this planet, sadly I have not seen this person since 1996.

[LamerPanda]

Oh that's alittle something I need to keep to myself huh? However when I say no trust in females, I mean as far as love is concerned

Which is still silly, judge people as individuals rather than lumping them together - by gender, by race, it doesn't matter.

I don't know if the people you meet tend to deliberately abandon you.

Probably not, but it doesn't change the fact that they're gone, does it.

[LollipopLolita]

you only see what your eyes want to see and your happiness is within your control and power

- guntz348

[Ness]

On 2003-12-01 09:03, WWWWWWWWWWWW wrote:
There's a reason I am seen as an asshole on the internet, and that is because being nice doesn't pay off.



I disagree with that statemant. I'm nice to just about everyone and it works out pretty well. I'm not saying that I'm a popular guy, but I have enough friends to keep me happy.

[Mystil]

you only see what your eyes want to see and your happiness is within your control and power

- guntz348
Hmm hmm, which is why there's nothing wrong showing fake ass friends to the door out of someones life.


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Silhouette on 2003-12-03 05:31 ]</font>

[Omni-SqwirL]

Killing them with kindness doesn't work anymore for me. I had to take the way of being aggressive when it comes to friendships and all. But, I was lucky to find a cooler group of friends that share almost the exact same views and opinions that I share. Took me this long to find them....oh what a journey