Oh joy, another rant about my Ex.

[SpikeOtacon]

Ok, this is the most fucked up thing.
My band, Wrenchhead, is having a gig on the 21st of December(It's also a surprise birthday party for our lead singer). We have been selling tickets in our state, in three counties. Today I got a call from five people telling me that my EX had bought a ticket for the show!
What the fuck? I thought she hated my guts! (We haven't spoken a word to each other for over a week.) She also said she disliked our music and wouldn't come to any gigs of ours when we were going out! What the fuck?!
I'm not sure how to approach this to her, but I want to know what she's doing with a ticket to our show. In fact, a friend of hers asked if we were going back out today because she cancelled her 'outing' with her because she had to go to something of mine.
I don't know what the fuck she's up too.
Any guesses? Anyone else think this is really wierd?

[Allos]

Assassination attempt. That's what comes to mind. You'll be playing your guitar/bass and then BAM!

[Monomate]

whoa...what sorta music you guys play?

[SpikeOtacon]

Rock/alternative.

[Allos]

So does my band, but our damn rythym guitar player sucks terribly (cause he never practices). I can't even kick him out because he's one of my best friends! Dammit!

[KaFKa]

uhm, i agree with allos, watch your head...


either that or she is there to make you "see what you missed out on" type deal, but meh...

[Dime]

Whoa, another band with head in the name!

[Bradicus]

Perhaps she is just as confused about your relationship as you? Just because you got into a little/big/hurtfull fight, does not mean that she doesn't want you to do well... Females people can be very fickle at times.

[ABDUR101]

Don't worry about it too much, if she starts any trouble, just let whatever bouncers know that she's to be escorted out.

Can always ignore her anyways, doesn't mean you have to take notice to her among everyone else thats there.

[Kasumi19]

I completely agree with ABDUR on this one, just ignore her if she happens to show up. You have more important things to concern yourself with than her.

[Omni-SqwirL]

She's going out with one of your friends. That would suck. I would just get her escorted out like previously mentioned.

[Kizaragu]

Simply just wait until the Gig and see what happens.

[The_Pea_Guy]

I'd say she is secretly a fan of your rock band.

[polishedweasel]

Hmm... how old is she? How long did you date her? How long ago did you break up? Etcetcetc. I need th know all these things to make an educated decision.

[SpikeOtacon]

On 2003-12-12 11:30, polishedweasel wrote:
Hmm... how old is she? How long did you date her? How long ago did you break up? Etcetcetc. I need th know all these things to make an educated decision.


17, two months, a week and a half...no...two weeks.
Any other questions?

[Shattered_weasel]

I can play some mean spoons. Any one need a spoon player.

[Ness]

I think you should interrogate her about when you get the chance.

[Scejntjynahl]

The female gender is at best...complex...who knows if she has any intentions at all... might have been a moment of compulsive behaviour.

Anyone who plays mind games will ultimately make you lose your time and theirs, if she can not be upfront with her "true" feelings, then just keep on walking... Unfortunately people when angered or hurt say much without thinking at all, and perhaps she is trying to figure out if what she said/did was in fact what she wanted to say/do.

Just play your best and enjoy the croud and forget about her been there. Enjoy your music and your time, it is for you to do as you please. Perhaps after the show you may want to just say "wus up" and take it from there... just listen...

[SpikeOtacon]

Listen to what? Her tell me how much she loves her new fucking boyfriend?! He doesn't even live in the same damn state, and yet she finds time to go to annapolis and meet him there?! That's an extra fucking hour away from my house!!
...I don't know why it hurts so much. I should have moved on by now, but I can't find it in myself to. It's her life, and she can live it the way she wants....but why must she be like this?! She's never been like this! I hope that she gets a taste of heartbreak so she knows how it feels!
BAGH!
HUMBUG!

[Sord]

and people ask me why i won't date...either her boyfriend gave her a heart break and she's coming crawling back to you, or as Allos said, assassination (or just totally trashing your gig)

[ABDUR101]

Well until you get over it, have fun. It's fine to be upset and hurt, but don't turn it into a drama.

All you have to do is realise that it did'nt work out, and if she found the time to drive an extra hour to be with someone else, and if it makes her happy, fine. It did'nt work out between the two of you, one small event in the history that will be your life.

Can't let it drag you down, when you might find someone who is better suited with who you are and what you do, yeah?

[SpikeOtacon]

On 2003-12-13 14:15, ABDUR101 wrote:

Can't let it drag you down, when you might find someone who is better suited with who you are and what you do, yeah?


The odds are stacked against me, ABDUR. And if you think that's just me, try hanging around me for a week, you'll see what I'm talking about.

[Sord]

On 2003-12-13 14:30, SpikeOtacon wrote:

The odds are stacked against me, ABDUR. And if you think that's just me, try hanging around me for a week, you'll see what I'm talking about.

Why, do you look like your avatar?

[SpikeOtacon]

On 2003-12-13 14:38, Sord wrote:


On 2003-12-13 14:30, SpikeOtacon wrote:

The odds are stacked against me, ABDUR. And if you think that's just me, try hanging around me for a week, you'll see what I'm talking about.

Why, do you look like your avatar?


Yeah, just a bit. Without the cig, of course.

[Inu_Ranma]

You'll find someone else. Girls dig guitarists. That's why we drummers don't get any ^_^

If you're not a guitarist, sorry. You're outta luck. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_smile.gif

[SpikeOtacon]

On 2003-12-13 14:46, Inu_Ranma wrote:
You'll find someone else. Girls dig guitarists.

I don't want a girl to like me just because I can play Guitar.
-_-

[Sord]

If your not lying about the avatar i can see why the odds are against you. It's kind of rediculous how media has made stereotypical ideas. If you look exactly like that, most people at first sight would thing your a jobless drunken bum (no offence to you of course) I don't tend do judge people by their cover, heck all my crushes where for personality. Now i don't have crushes because i don't see the point in dating when you know your just going to break up any ways, so why go through the heartbreak?

[SpikeOtacon]

The reason you go out is so that you can find out if the two of you are 'meant for each other'. Fate, Love, Love at first sight, it means almost nothing to me right now. If love is so great, then why must it be taken so harshly?

[Sord]

That's what i don't get, i think i would rather be single and hire prostitutes (even if that sounds gross) when i'm older if i want to have sex, I just don't think it's worth it. Heck, about 50% of marriages end in divorce, and another 40% stay together because apart they can't cover their finances. That leaves about 10% love if you don't count forced marriages.

[SpikeOtacon]

That's not right, Sord. Why would you want to live alone, just to have sex with women who do it with every guy who'll pay them? You want someone who honestly cares about you, wants to be with you, and doesn't have other guys/girls she is interested in.

[ABDUR101]

Because you did'nt have love. Love has to go both ways or it's nothing.

And even if you went out and dated people all your life, that doesn't mean squat because you can still end up alone, only you'd of had a broken heart countless times throughout your life.

Enjoy life for yourself, and let love happen if it's going to. You can't force anyone into it, it's either mutual or nothing.

I've never dated, never went out with anyone, ever. I've had interests in afew people over the years, but nothing came of them. Sure, it hurt at first, but thats how it goes. I'm just as happy to be alone, more so actually, than to think you might have lost something that was never really there to begin with.

And to be honest, you only dated for two months. My oldest nephew went out with his girlfriend for over a year, bought her nice jewelry and all that, and they broke up afew months ago just because he did'nt want to do anything that she wanted to. He always wanted to stay at home and only bother with her when he wanted, she wanted to go out and spend time with him(movies, social aspects, etc). The sad thing is, within a week or two, they both had a new boyfriend/girlfriend to "fill the void".

Really, don't put so much into it. You no doubt cared about her, but appearently it did'nt go the other way, her feelings for you most likely weren't as strong. So, would you rather still be with her, even though she did'nt have the same feelings with you, and have stayed together longer, only making it that much harder when she finally did leave?

[Sord]

yeah, that's what i want. Hell, i don't really care about the sex, that's why i said if, hell, i could care less if i was a virgin all my life. I would like someone to love. Just to hold, or snuggle with in times of desperation. but todays culture has ruined most of people who are actually in love. I think the reason i'm not affectted is because i think way to much. I have to lay down for at least 2 hours before i'll go to sleep. My brain just won't shut off. I'm one of those people who will think an entire day out in one hour. The only way i can stop it is reading, which makes it worse when i'm done, and taking medicine to go to sleep at night. I just don't think there is anyone out there for me. Call me depressing or a pessimist or whatever, i just think to much and it gets to me i guess.

[SpikeOtacon]

I'd rather not be alone, with her. I believe that she just acted too quickly the night I yelled at her, and I've got a feeling she wants back in, and It's not just me. The same friend who had asked if we were going back out had said she noticed that she's been mentioning me quite often, (0.o) which is odd. Sure, it'd hurt worse if we had broken up later in the relationship, but the fact that she was able to swing back faster than I have is what angers me. Why does SHE deserve to have love, if she fucked me over? Why does SHE get to have fun, go out with her significant other, and spend time with him? It makes NO sence! She cheated on me, and it hurts. Life will move on eventually, but it's hard for me to right now. Especially since she's involved with a lot of the things I do for my spare time. (Involved in a game project my friend greg and I have been working on, her BF annoys me daily, and all of her friends that are at my school bother and pester me like you wouldn't believe!
Why does SHE get to have love, and I get nothing in return?

[Sord]

if you never knew what love was, then that could never happen. That's one of my philosophies.

[ABDUR101]

Well spike, I really hate to say it, but...life isn't fair. When the shit gets the fan, you just have to hope you're not in the direction it's getting blown and count yourself lucky.

The reason she's getting to have fun and all that is because she bounced back quicker. You're the one who's hung up on it and worrying about her and the fun she's having instead of you.

As for her mentioning you, so what? Does it interest you that she does, like there's some hope that she'll come running back? Moreso, would you want her back after all of this?

If not, ignore it because it makes no difference.

Really, just move on. It's the best you can do, unless you want to wallow in what happened. o_O

[SpikeOtacon]

I might take her back if she asks. However, right now I would say no to her. And no, I don't want to just sit around and let it take over me, but I honestly have nothing better to do with my time.
And you didn't answer my question. I was asking 'why she deserved love, after what she did to me?'.

[Guile]

Well since woman are the most confusing things in this world it can be a number of shit. By the sound of it I think she wants to get back with you or something but it could just be to fuck with your head. I don't know becuase I'm having similiar fucking problems and I'm gonna blow up!!!!!!

[ABDUR101]

And you didn't answer my question. I was asking 'why she deserved love, after what she did to me?'.


Well, why would you say "I might take her back if she asks." ? Why would you offer to take her back after what she did to you?



On 2003-12-13 15:52, SpikeOtacon wrote:
And no, I don't want to just sit around and let it take over me, but I honestly have nothing better to do with my time.

Heh, well then have fun. No use for me to reply with advice trying to make you feel better if you're just going to wallow in it anyway.

[SpikeOtacon]

On 2003-12-13 16:10, ABDUR101 wrote:
[quote]

Well, why would you say "I might take her back if she asks." ? Why would you offer to take her back after what she did to you?


I would take her back, because I felt as if the relationship was prematurly terminated. Right now, I just want to be able to hold a conversation with her. We've arranged a phone meeting tonight. I hope that it will go over without any yelling. I plan not to yell.




Heh, well then have fun. No use for me to reply with advice trying to make you feel better if you're just going to wallow in it anyway.


No, I never said I was going to continue wallowing in it, I just said that for the time being (past week) I've had nothing better to do so I DID wallow in it. Now that things are starting to get busy again (work, YES!!) It leaves and only comes back if I don't make myself busy. Any advice is appreciated, no doubt about that.

[Sord]

i want to know the entire story of the break up if i'm going to say why she deserves your love... otherwise bad asumptions could be made.

[SpikeOtacon]

On 2003-12-13 16:19, Sord wrote:
i want to know the entire story of the break up if i'm going to say why she deserves your love... otherwise bad asumptions could be made.


the 'entire story' is a vague thing. Any particular parts that you would like me to elaborate on?

[Sord]

Everything you can remember. PM me if you just want me to know, or don't, either way i won't care. And if your don't want to tell me all of it then leave some out i don't think i'll be able to give full advice or opinion, but i'll do my best if given the chance.

[SpikeOtacon]

Let it be public knowledge of what happened.
((Warning: Foul Language in common use. This is from direct memory, so nothing of the conversation was left out. Not even the swears))

Ok, day after thanksgiving, right? Her and I are on AIM talking to each other. We had a little romantic talk, like, "I'm thankful for you" kind of thing... Then She said she had to go, but would be back in 10 minutes. Well, 10 minutes go by, and she's not there. I wait until 12:30 a.m, and she finally gets back. She says that she wants to talk to me, but she's too tired. When I ask her what happened, she got short with me, and I got short back (For those of you who DON'T know what 'got short' means it means that we lost our tempers.).She reminded me that we were to meet at Best Buy tomorrow. She logged off of AIM and didn't speak to me until the next day. I wait at Best Buy for 7 hours and then decide to go home. I saw her on AIM, and I IM'd Her. She talks to me, and she said she didn't want to talk to me anymore, simply because I made things harder than they used to be, and that since she's two years older, it just wouldn't work.
"Bullshit," I thought. So I tried to talk to her about what she was talking about, and she just called me.
She said on the phone,
"I...I don't love you anymore." She was crying at this point. "I don't want to have such a long distance relationship with you, not being able to see you when I want to... I want a relationship with you where I can be with you all the time, not just over AIM. Spike, my heart....my heart belongs to someone else now. There is someone else in my life. I'm sorry it happened this way, hun." **long silence** "..**sniff** I'm forever sorry for what I've done....Spike I....I went out with someone else today..." At this point, I was ready to go absolutly ballistic. "...I didn't mean for this Spike...but..." I cut her off.
"Don't say anything anymore. Be quiet, listen to me." I said in the calmest voice I could muster:
"You....cheated on me?" I heard a small wimper, and then
"...Yes..."
I was in complete shock.
"Come on, toya, what are you doing? Why?"
"..**sigh**...Spike, the night that you and I got into a fight last week, he and I talked, the guy I'm cheating on you with. He comforted me, he made me feel loved....trusted....I...I love him, Spike."
I set the phone down for a bit, and stared at my blank wall for a bit. Then she said:
"Spike....are you ok?" I let the phone sit a few more seconds, then picked it up, and replied.
"No." I lost it. "You expect me to be OK, even though you cheated on me! You expect me to just let this drop?! Wrong fucking answer, toya! You always said that you'd NEVER leave me, and all because some asshat soothes your wounds, you fall in love with him? I think you should re-consider it, toya. You are making a mistake."
"I...I can't Spike. I just can't." She replied.
"Yes you can! Just give it a few more days, toya!"
"GOD DAMN IT, SPIKE! FUCK YOU! YOU HURT ME, YOU YELLED AT ME, AND NOW I LOVE SOMEONE ELSE, WHY MUST YOU MAKE IT HARDER ON ME!?!?"
"You've made it harder on yourself." I said. She remained quiet. "You did this to me, to yourself. I hope your new relationship drops in less than a month. I hope he fucking cheats on you! I hope he leaves you for some other girl! I want YOU to feel what I'm feeling right now!"
"Spike....It wasn't easy for me.."
"FUCK YOU!! YOU GAVE IT BUT A MINUTES THOUGHT, AND DECIDED TO GO WITH HIM!"
"FUCK YOU TOO, SPIKE! YOU ASSHOLE, I HATE YOU!!"
**she hangs up.**
"Good, I fuckin' hate you too." I said, setting my phone down. Next few days, we tried to be 'friends' but she kept bringing our breakup back into the conversation, and I told her to drop it. Unless she planned on returning to me, and not cheating on me, then it was not to be brought up again. Finally, she yelled at me because I said I still loved her, and she hasn't talked to me sense. She said I need to change, and if I changed, and opened my eyes a bit, she'd 'tell'. She never specified what 'tell' ment, but whatever it is, it isn't happening now.

[Sord]

well, from the looks of it, i don't think she deserves your love. There are a few things wrong with what she says though, but this doesn't apply to everyone. Long distant relationships actually tend to work out better because you don't have stress out over each other. Most people who meet online and fall in love, then decide to meet offline break up. Something is troubling about that. As far as she being two years older, i don't think that's much of a cause. One of my many thoughts is that age, or the amount of time of existance, should never have been invented. I even dated a 16 year old online when i was 12-13. The relationship never went sour, the only reason it got screwd up was because my parents thought i shouldn't be aloud to IM or Java chat. I managed to tell her this, i found her once on my grandmas computer. She was dating another guy, but i didn't really care. The way i think is i honestly don't care if my gf or if i ever get a wife dates another guy under three conditions, a)i never meet him on purpose, b) she still loves me, and c) she never babbles on about him. She was probably the only person i loved a lot, and she always loved me back. But we are dealing with your issues so i need to quit babbling, although there might be a moral in that story. Any ways, i'm not going to babble on like a counciler (i'v been to 7 diffrent ones, i'v seen the...darker side of human nature i guess, from abuse to being in a pych ward) and say just talk to her. Another thing is, as rude as this may seem, the sexuality of a relationship. Even if it's just seeing the person. This could have played a role here. What i think is that a)if you really love her, then try to get her back to you, or b) just don't talk to her, if she tries to speak, don't listen. Oh, and the thought just occured to me, she might bring her boyfriend to the gig to make yoou jealous. Or she might have been hurt somehow (mental or physical) and now she need you to consol her. As for the tell, i don't have any clue what that could be. Well, as garbled as this may be, i guess the key points are a) act mature, don't freak out and start cursing, it creates a chain reaction, think about it, you yelled, then she yelled, and then you yelled back, soon it's a vollyball game of words that don't do any good, b)try to bring up what "tell" was, but i doubt she'll get to that if you yell. At this point your probably thinking i'm still not awnsering your question, does she deserve your love. Well, from looks of it no, but that's the common culture and media speaking. By my philosiphies, you need to talk to her and decide for yourself if she deserves your love. Of course i'm not saying you have to. Tell you the truth, i'll only be fifteen in July, but I'v more experiance than any kid my age should have. I'v been nearly murdered at the hands of my stepmom, adrenaline saved me, and yet the cops wouldn't hand over any evidence. My father verbaly abused me and guilted me all my life till my stepmom abused me and he sided with her saying i attacked her, even though she had no marks on her and i had veins cut on my neck without the skin being peirced, as well as holes in my head, and the first thing my dad said when he saw me was "Where did you put the phones and why did you crash the computer" which my stepmom had done to keep me from the police, but despite my injuries i rode a bike to my friends about a block away and got help there. I'v been charged with atempted suicide. I'm in the top 9% IQ of the US. I have two brothers who are bipolar. We have to practicly sit on them to keep them from hurting others and thtemselves during rages, and they scream as if we are torturing them, and it rips at your heart, but if you let them go someone will get hurt, and they are only just five years old. I've lived through parents divorce. I take medicines for depression and anger. I take sleeping medicines because i can't stop thinking, i'm always thinking, i can think what could happen to me in an entire day in one hour. I'v experianced a lot. My life won't allow me belief in religion, only science and philosophy. I'm just fourteen and that's how my life has been. So give my advice a chance.

[DOG21313]

I'd say she's trying to be a drama queen on this one. If she does come back, then try to break up again, act completly calm about it, like:

"Spike... I'm sorry, I.. love someone else..."

"Okey dokey, see ya!" *hangs up*


If she's trying to be a drama queen, that'd piss her off. If not, it'd just make the breakup easier... and let you keep your voice. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

EDIT: Actually, if she calls or you have to talk to her in person, wait til she says something important then act like you were ignoring her.

"HI SPIKE! Did you know that... *lots of yammering*"

You: *Shakes head* "Huh? You say something?"

That would be fun! http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_razz.gif

But of course thats just me, if someones a jerk to me, I tend to be a jerk right back.

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: DOG21313 on 2003-12-13 22:00 ]</font>

[SorceressofTime]

to put short and with no bullshit: your ex g/f didn't love you and only abused you by saying she did for only her use.
it happens and it sucks. i went through it too (same problem but my ex did it) and now an trying to make up for it by making contact with my ex.

man, you're wasting your time to even worry about her. she's just trying to make you jealous OR that she finally sees that she's lost something that she may never get back.
but of course, if you had strong feelings for her and none in return, it'll hurt so much. if she was one of your first gfs, then it's harder to get over.

but seriously, tell me getting over a breakup is hard after you've dated someone for nearly 2 years...

[SpikeOtacon]

Alright. I've got an update on my Situation.
She dumped her BF yesterday, because she couldn't stand any more distance relationships. Now He's pissed, she's talking to me, but no longer in a dramatic way. She said she wants me back, but won't because I'm too far away, and is sick of getting hurt because she can't see the one she loves. Distance relationships is how I first met her anyway. She lives in Maryland, and she had a BF in Florida for two years. After that relationship sunk, she began to get angry. So when her and I met, she had noticed I was a bit like the old BF, and yet I was a completly different person. So she started with me, and then it all ended horribly. NOW her new Ex BF is angry at me because he thinks she still is in love with me. She told me herself that she acted to fast, and didn't mean to leave me like that. HOWEVER, she cannot love me the way she used to. She 'woke up' in her words. She said I've matured alot since our last conversation two weeks ago. I'm happy because she's happy. She's happy because I grew up. it's a messed up world indeed.
She still hasn't mentioned why she bought the ticket for the gig yet.

[ABDUR101]

Heh, grew up alot in the last two weeks.

Tell her to stop picking up boyfriends on the internet..maybe?

If you don't want a long distance relationship, common sense would dictate that you don't get in the situation of being "involved" with someone over a distance.

I like how ex's tend to blame the one someone cheated with/left for, when more often than not they weren't privy to most of what happened before(prior breakup, etc). Put the blame squarely on those who did the deed, not the person that was brought into it without adequate past history of current events.(oooo, past history of current events)

Oh well. Best of luck.

[starhealer]

From reading your conversation, all I can say is that she's playing with you. I would label her a bitch, but I don't want to be too mean.

Here's what I get. If she can POSSIBLY "fall in love" with some other guy by simply talking to him ONCE after a fight with you, there are three possibilities I see.

1) She never loved you in the first place and was probably seeing him anyhow.

2) She doesn't have a frigging clue. She has no concept of love, because people simply don't fall in love at first sight (personal opinion). This could be different if she knew him previously.

3) She's simply looking to mess with you.

Granted, they aren't terribly uplifting possibilities, but they're what I see. If anyone can simply tell you "they've fallen in love with someone else" on the turn of a dime, well...

Then again, you were only dating, what, two months? So I highly doubt she loved you in the first place.

May I ask, is this a highschool thing? I believe you said she was 17...if so, then I think you're worrying about this too much. If someone is that immature to do that sort of thing to you, you obviously deserve better.

Don't let one absolutely rehensible bitch ruin your life.

*steps down from her soapbox*