Love/Blade

[SpikeOtacon]

I am depressed right now. I hate it. I am heartbroken, and it pains me so deep inside it could be no different than really getting stabbed. I feel betrayed by my own feelings and lost within myself. This is NOT something I enjoy. I cannot do anything to make it go away. I tried Anime, Video Games, Music, even calling my friends....Nothing worked. I feel incapapble of loving again....and I cannot forgive myself for this. I caused this to happen in a way, but it could have been overlooked by her. She just didn't want to try anymore. I was told that "Everyone deserves a second chance". I wasn't given what I deserve. I got another load of bullshit courtesy of life. I've been a failure with relationships all my life...and I find the one girl I thought was it...I put so much time and effort into it...I went through so much for her......she insists on cutting me deeper. I have cut myself on the arm...I did not feel a thing. I am no longer bleeding and yes I am seeking help with it...But...I need help...who else here has felt this way before? Can you give me some advice?

[KaFKa]

i've been through something similar, and all i can say is (to quote joe dirt) just keep on keepin' on. it'll eventually get better.

[Deathscythealpha]

Guessing youve just been dumped by your girlfriend then? It happens, and the feeling of sadness/betrayel/pain will always be there. In a way you just have to weather it out, go with the flow and try to continue living your life. The pain will still be there for awhile, but one day it will go, you will find anothe rperson or just realise that your relationship with your ex would enver have worked.

DONT cut yourself. However bad the break up was, its nothing that you should risk your life over. There are other people in the world who need you (friends/family), and you harming or killing yourself will only put them in the same position you are now, and you know how that feels.

I recomend talking it out with a good friend, not over the phone, but in person. You will probably find out that som eof your friends have gone through the same feelings, and they can comfort you.

Again, dont do anything to risk your life. You are a welcome and recognisable person on PSOW, and im ure you got several friends on here that would miss you if you suddenly disapeared.

I dont know if any of thats helpful, but i do know that i have been handed the same sort of advice/talk at one point in my life, and im still here. Chin up!

[CGoodness]

as Adam Sandler would say in the Wedding Singer, "LOVE STINKS!"

Which I don't necessarily agree with, but that's what you feel like after a break up.

[Allos]

If everyone has left you and you feel like no one cares, remember, you always have a place in the DTPA.

[Jaks]

On 2004-01-08 17:57, Allos wrote:
If everyone has left you and you feel like no one cares, remember, you always have a place in the DTPA.



Which reminds me... *PM*

[Sord]

well, i have two comments here:

1. Find someone else and your heartbreak should go away.

2.About killing yourself...if your low on money, can't buy food, take some drugs, and have a friend turn you in shortly after. You'll have to drink this black stuff that taste like chocolate syrup with to much reall coaco in it. I was in the phyce ward for attempted suicide for two weeks. The food was great (donuts, chicken strips, other good stuff), the other "insanes" are actully nice and quite sane, just most have friend and family trouble they can't deal with. Even the one or two weed addicts where pretty cool. In the end, i honestly didn't want to leave the place.

EDIT: If you actually did cut yourself and didn't bleed, then you either cut a part of your arm without blood or you just grazed the skin. As for why it didn't hurt, you either barely touched you skin, or your emotional pain is to great to feel it (which is probably the case right now). I knew one girl in the phyce ward that cut her wrist to escape the emotional pain. They cut her nails and stuck her in a cushioned room one, still didn't work, she managed to scratch herself anyways, but it didn't help her emotional pain.



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Sord on 2004-01-08 18:15 ]</font>

[MasterJoel]

about 4 weeks ago, i had a bout of depression so bad that i felt like throwing up, about the same lines as you. i decided i'd just drown myself in PSO for a while, engross myself in daytime television, take a cold shower, and nothing helped... i had thought about cutting myself, and realized, that really doesn't help things. what did help things was talking about my problem with people who could relate. and a li'l rum with grapefruit juice. not enough to get drunk mind you, just enough to cope. and that's sad. i kept on having the depression until i went on this long vacation i'm on, i can't feel lonely visiting with my sister. i really hope that the depression is quelled for awhile, i go home tomorrow and don't need to feel that way anymore.

[Kasumi19]

Suicide never helps things EVER! As far as relationships go. There is always someone else out there or you could stay single and enjoy life without the obligation of being with someone. I prefer being single right now. I like the freedom of doing what I want when I want to and not having to concern myself with someone else.

I know it can hurt right after a breakup but the hurt goes away with time.

[Sord]

Just don't bother with girls, like me. Sure i would like someone to hold and such in times of need. But the chances of getting married to a girlfriend are pretty much zip (even if your not 14.) I've already said before, 50% of marriages divorce, and only 10% stay together due to love, otherwise it's usually a co-benificial marriage, to escape from family or they need to combine their finances to get anything paid.

[ABDUR101]

Stay out of relationships for a while until you're happy just being yourself and gain a foothold.

You can't balance the acts of another person and hope they go with how you feel or want. Thats why it's a risk, and most likely why it means so much when it finally happens.

Trust me, stay out of any relationships for a while. Some people don't realise that it can be much more BS than it's worth if things don't go right.

[anwserman]

On 2004-01-08 16:56, SpikeOtacon wrote:
I am depressed right now. I hate it. I am heartbroken, and it pains me so deep inside it could be no different than really getting stabbed. I feel betrayed by my own feelings and lost within myself. This is NOT something I enjoy. I cannot do anything to make it go away. I tried Anime, Video Games, Music, even calling my friends....Nothing worked. I feel incapapble of loving again....and I cannot forgive myself for this. I caused this to happen in a way, but it could have been overlooked by her. She just didn't want to try anymore. I was told that "Everyone deserves a second chance". I wasn't given what I deserve. I got another load of bullshit courtesy of life. I've been a failure with relationships all my life...and I find the one girl I thought was it...I put so much time and effort into it...I went through so much for her......she insists on cutting me deeper. I have cut myself on the arm...I did not feel a thing. I am no longer bleeding and yes I am seeking help with it...But...I need help...who else here has felt this way before? Can you give me some advice?



.... hmmm. Reminds me of one major instance of my life, when two things happened at the same time.

A) My parents found out I'm "bi" (I'm really gay but I said bi to ease the pain)
B) I was immobilized due to a soccer accident, where I tore my ACL.

So yeah, I was depressed. I hated life, I hated school, I felt lonely inside and that nobody knew what I was going through. Yeah, I thought about suicide, but I could never make myself do it. Two years later, here I am giving advice to somebody. Talk to somebody, your parents (if you live at home) and go on antidepressants. Who cares what other people think about going on drugs, screw them. They worked for me anyway. I'm happy-go-lucky now, instead of Mr. Miserable to Be Around With. So yeah, try medication or talking to somebody. Hell, your on your first step to recovery right now, you're talking to us about your problems instead of letting them eat you up inside. Although it may sound corny, you're talking to family, your PSO family. We're all here to help you. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_smile.gif

And hell, I want to see that movie you've been wanting to make too, with PSO! http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

[Sord]

Even as corny as awnserman said it was, I guess we really are your PSO family.

[Gnarled_rose]

Hey, I'm not sure if you still need help on this subject, but if you do, I'm talkin'.
Take a look around. You've got all these people talking with you from all around the world, from one single web-site. That's a good sign. It shows you're definitly not alone, despite what that voice in your head says.
But from me to you, you can do better than this, can't you? We both know you're simply being selfish, thinking about suicide. Some people say that suicide's a cry for help, and I say "Give them the attention instead of 'helping'!!" In other words, talk to someone around you. Face-to-face, with anyone who'll listen. If you can do it on the internet, it's only a little harder in person. With direct contact, you'll have the benefit of seeing thier reactions to your words and recieving instant advice.
I'm assuming that the people who've posted previously have had experience with unshakable depression. Once again, that means you're not alone. Just talk. Talk your brains out, man. The only thing that will help, though, is getting someone who will listen and not try to help-a trait commonly possessed by women. Basically, from one potential to another, relax. Realize that this too, shall pass.

Holy crap, was that me? Dang, apparently I can be useful when I want to be. I hate provin' that cocky psychologist right...

[Guille]

Man, don't even think about killin' yerself! Okay, how about a joke to lighten your mood? What's red, green, and goes 75mph? A frog in a blender.

[darthsaber9x9]

all i can say(seing as how i never reall been liek that...lucky me) is:

watch these films: commando
the life of brian
the holy grail
jackass the movie
(ok not a movie) the office season 1/2

now can u tell me ur depressed http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

but er yeah basically what everyone else has said! theyre right!

[SpikeOtacon]

Well, I'm back. I took a few days off and went to go see my friends back in Anne Arundel county. I got my arm stiched up (7 stiches) and I had a few beers to boot! http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif I'm OK now, i'm over that stuck-up bitch and am Laying off of relationships for a while. I was very happy to see so many members of PSOW give me some advice. I'm glad you all care. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif
Well ok, so I already have another girl in mind, but a date is a ways away and I feel that right now I remain as single as possible. Now, on to see what is going on in FKLs and my Movie thing...

[Sord]

okay, that's the third time that things been yoinked, keep it down already.

As for you Spike, I'm happy for ya (now i know why you've been gone so long)