I remember when...

[Shimarisu]

My mother told me that a certain wild flower had the property that if you picked it, your mother would die.

I picked it anyway to see what would happen. I'm like that. And it didn't work. Or maybe it did work, because we all die anyway. Fuck life, it's utterly pointless.

Hey, I'm turning into J. Ironically he's the only person who was ever here who can relate to my despair. Thanks in advance for the ban.

- Shimarisu

[Shimarisu]

This reminded me of a poem I wrote like 8 years ago or so.

I remember the church bells calling
I remember the woods were wild
I remember my mother said
That I was the devil's child
And I recall the morbid obsession
Some let it pass on its fleeting way
Some let it break their soul's intention
They couldn't keep its taint at bay
Black like a rose on the other side
Of day

I remember the graveyard's calling
Pulling me through to the other side
Reading those dank forgotten gravestones
Wondering how the people died
Do you recall the morbid obsession?
Hark at the tolling of the bell
Note well the passing hour is written
Can those inscriptions serve us well?
Black like all hope on the other side
Of hell

And I remember the watcher's eyes
They who would follow me all around
Though I was never so beautiful
The nightshade grows on sacred ground
Ah, can you fight the morbid obsession
Pulling you close to what you'll never be
Maybe that is why they're watching
Things that they don't want to see
Black like my heart on the other side
Of me

Couldn't be arsed with punctuation.

- Shimarisu

[undevil]

Yeah you were slightly drunk.


Anyways, if I really hated life that bad, I think I would go out in a bang.

[Armok]

Shimarisu
Mood: Stoned

Really u have to cut out the old Wacky Backy. I think you maybe close to insanity.

[undevil]

Or she could be seeking attention. You get plenty of them all over the net.

[Shimarisu]

On 2004-01-31 06:53, Armok wrote:
Shimarisu
Mood: Stoned

Really u have to cut out the old Wacky Backy. I think you maybe close to insanity.



Actually I ran out about 4 weeks ago. Can you tell? I use it as an antidepressant. Only it's rendered impossible to buy here because even though possessing small amounts won't get you in trouble, selling it will. The guy who sold it to me quit (or rather was forced to quit by his wife), so I'm high and dry. What do you suggest, seeing as your all-pervading wisdom seems an excellent source of information on the matter?

I was drunk when I wrote that, yes. I'm cracking up, yes. This is what happens when pathologically depressed people can't get any drugs that work. It's not my fault the only one that does is for some reason illegal to sell here.

Think what it's like to realise your youth is over, and you are spiralling at breakneck speed towards death. Then times the time it took for that realisation by four months, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. EVERY SECOND I LIVE I THINK, THERE GOES ANOTHER SECOND OFF MY ALLOTED TIME. Yes, I even dream about it, so trying to knock myself out with Nyquil didn't work either. I know why pot works, it takes the edge off your thought processes, so you are not left thinking about death 24/7. Unfortunately, contrary to what some people believe, this dumbing down of the brain is not permanent.

If you believe the crap that pot sends you crazy, don't worry, you won't go crazy from anything, because only intelligent people have the capacity to lose their minds.

Nice how my despair gets moved to the spam forum, ain't it?

- Shimarisu

[Hrith]

What do you suggest, seeing as your all-pervading wisdom seems an excellent source of information on the matter?
It was not Armok's fault >_>
My advice is to avoid replacing a drug by another at all costs.
And the wise one here is Mixfortune.


EVERY SECOND I LIVE I THINK, THERE GOES ANOTHER SECOND OFF MY ALLOTED TIME.
Then don't think http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wacko.gif


Only intelligent people have the capacity to lose their minds.
Nice line http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif
btw, your poem is not that bad you have technique and some style, although you lack maturity in the matter, you should write more.


Nice how my despair gets moved to the spam forum, ain't it?
It's also a despair forum ; people here burn pants, can you imagine such a degree of despair ?

Now stop fooling around, weakling !
If you feel the passage of time that much, THEN QUIT WASTING IT ON USELESS STUPID THOUGHTS, FOR FUCK'S SAKE !

And unless you have a good reason, come to France >_>

[Herogod]

Shim your problems are solved! It's a C now!!!! It is just as illegal as Roids... Pharmacies will stock it soon lol

[Herogod]

Quote:

Only intelligent people have the capacity to lose their minds.


Nice line
btw, your poem is not that bad you have technique and some style, although you lack maturity in the matter, you should write more.

She gets payed to write a magazine...

[s.TiNgEr]

die

[Armok]

I personally have nothing against pot but u have to find something to live for Shim its not really that bad.

[Hrith]

On 2004-01-31 11:43, Herogod wrote:
She gets payed to write a magazine...
*has an Anglo-Saxon Literature diploma*

[Herogod]

On 2004-01-31 12:08, Kefka wrote:

On 2004-01-31 11:43, Herogod wrote:
She gets payed to write a magazine...
*has an Anglo-Saxon Literature diploma*


You told her to write more... I think she writes enough. Your grace with the English language is irrelevant although the only real use of Anglo-Saxon is in prepositions and the most notorious of swear words

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Herogod on 2004-01-31 12:43 ]</font>

[derBauer]

On 2004-01-31 12:08, Kefka wrote:

*has an Anglo-Saxon Literature diploma*



From where? A Cracker Jack box?

[Hrith]

oops I think there's a misunderstanding, here
"Anglo-Saxon" to me means "of any English-speaking culture" (mainly US and UK in my case)

I got it in a French University, d'oh.

Back to Shimarisu, it's a wonder she feels so bad if she does write a lot http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_frown.gif
Writing helped me escape my once dark reality a lot.