Love not wanted...

[RoninJoku]

So this I have been getting serious vibrations that one of my female friends from school has developed a big crush on me recently(I wont bother with describing the hints)...

You would think this would be a good thing but, frankly, I don't need or want any love in my life at the moment... I have enough of my own problems getting my life stabilized. Not to mention this person to me is just a friend that I have little to no physical or emotional attatchment to beyond our simple in-school friendship. And I would like to keep it this way.

At any rate, Valentines day is coming up soon as we all know, and I fear she may do...... something... I dunno... But I dont want anything to happen. Like I said I dont want or need this type of relationship right now...

Anyway I have been trying for the past 2 months or so to try and elude her and if at all possible, make her think less of me. (i.e. paying little attention to her, pretending to be in a bad mood, making vulgar jokes, beeing less sensitve/sincere, etc...) However, my tactics dont appear to be having much effect.

Is there anyone out there who has any advice for me? Perhaps a way to get a girl off of your... uhh... ass, or maybe something to say if she were to confront me... I hope someone can give me something that will allow me to still stay friends with her but get her off of me.

I just hope she doesnt pull anything soon. I dont need this crap...
-___-;;;



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: RurouniJoku on 2004-02-11 20:59 ]</font>

[ABDUR101]

...and somehow it eluded you to just TELL her what you just said? That you don't want any kind of relationship, that you enjoy her friendship and nothing more?

I don't get it, why portray yourself as an ass, and try to get her to not like you, just so she'll stop hinting at possibly something else?

Be honest, such a quicker and easier solution than the show you put on. =

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: ABDUR101 on 2004-02-11 21:04 ]</font>

[anwserman]

Well, first and foremost:
If she does pull something, don't explode or act irrationally. Appreciate the fact that she DID do something for you... because you'll look like an ass for not appreciating what she did, and you'll also emotionally hurt her. And you'd have her friends pissed at you, too. (Having many females being angry at you is not good.)

But honestly, I know you don't want to be with a relationship with her - a romantic one anyway - but regardless, is there a common bond that you two might share? I mean, you could explain to her sometime that you're not wanting a serious relationship with anyone at the time... but perhaps you two could become friends. And you know what, if you do want a relationship down the road, it might just be with her.

P.S. You didn't give too much about her personality, but from stories I've heard, girls can be hostile. I've heard stories about guys who have told girls that they're not wanting a relationship - or better yet, a telling a girl that they're not ready (or wanting) sex - only for the girl to turn evil and to spread rumors about the guy being gay and such. Evil stuff, indeed. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_frown.gif

Sorry to add to your fears, just letting you know of a possible outcome. And of course, she might take it in stride and just would like to become friends or something. Or perhaps you're misinterpreting her messages. Though you do seem kinda sure that her messages mean that... you didn't go exactly into detail about what those messages were. Or maybe we don't want to know. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_eek.gif

[RoninJoku]

To Answerman: No shes not evil and thanks for those thoughts... I'll keep them in mind
To Abdur: Yes... Yes, you're right... I should have... But I'm a coward. I'm not used to this kind of thing. I'm not good with confrontations. I guess I will tell her that... assuming she says something... I don't know... I have no courage with words.
Well thanks... You're very collected... I'll try to think this out some more...

(And just so ya know... I wasn't that mean http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_smile.gif, just a little bit mean for a nice guy like me.)



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: RurouniJoku on 2004-02-11 21:15 ]</font>

[ABDUR101]

I can understand that, but if you were putting up a "bad guy" front, you were being confrontational. Being honest isn't being confrontational, you're just telling it how it is so more problems aren't started.

I hope it works out. But even if she does do something for Valentine, appreciate it. As long as she understands it most likely won't be reciprocated, and understands your stance, it should be fine. Good luck, hope all goes well.

[derBauer]

I thought someone had a crush on me until today when sat 2 chairs away from me instead of right next to me. Now I'm pissed!

[Myopathy]

Don't think of it as a confrontation. Because it's not. If you treat it like a confrontation, it'll become one and you'll lose your friend. Just tell her how you feel. If she really likes you (as a friend or more than friend), she'll understand. She may be disappointed, but she'll understand.

[Daikarin]

Pay attention to what she says, and try to answer in a what that feels like you have somebody else in mind, or simply not interested.

Altough it seems cold, it does work.

[Bradicus]

On 2004-02-11 21:07, anwserman wrote:
Well, first and foremost:
Having many females being angry at you is not good.


They make piranas look like care bears.

[Jack]

Man, you a damn chick magnet. Take it as a compliment and go out with her.

[hollowtip]

Just have sex with her, that will solve all your problems.

[BogusKun]

Just about 20 minutes ago I just went out to eat with this girl that I met and already she's talking about getting together some more...

Dammit, I already got a girlfriend... I have to let these 2 girls know...

(heh, there is another...)

[Jack]

Have them all at once. In the same bed.

[BogusKun]

It shouldn't bother females to ask. Just say, "it's a harmful experiment and no one will know".

[DOG21313]

Im in a similar situation... heh. Differences are that the person who i think likes me isnt a close friend. Problem is i like someone else XD

So... my strategy is to just wait it out. If they get the courage to talk to me, Ill make a decision and everything should turn out okay. You never know what other extreme turns could happen before then, so you cant exactly plan the whole thing out.

Life has this cruddy way of changing things to where nothing that youve planned works, so dont bother trying.

[RoninJoku]

Well thanks for everyone that gave me rational advice. Heheh, although I did get a laught out of some of those posts. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

[Ness]

*Is still laughing at Hollowtip's post

Okay, it is rare that I give advice these days so consider yourself lucky.

The best approach to this probelm is just to tell her how you feel. Say to her," I like you as a friends, but I'm not ready to be in a relationship right now."

That will get your point across and won't hurt her feelings to much. If she starts crying, give her a hug or something.

A more blunt approach would be to say," I'm notinterested in a relationship and I only like you as a friend."

That will get both your points across, but it will more than likely hurt her feelings. Although she willprobably forgive you, I try my best not to hurt people.

[ABDUR101]

Lucky because you just repeated what everyone else just said?!

[Ness]

On 2004-02-13 12:56, ABDUR101 wrote:
Lucky because you just repeated what everyone else just said?!



Well, I didn't read the topic so if I repeated anything it was just coincidential.

[BogusKun]

On 2004-02-12 19:02, DOG21313 wrote:
Im in a similar situation... heh. Differences are that the person who i think likes me isnt a close friend. Problem is i like someone else XD

So... my strategy is to just wait it out. If they get the courage to talk to me, Ill make a decision and everything should turn out okay. You never know what other extreme turns could happen before then, so you cant exactly plan the whole thing out.

Life has this cruddy way of changing things to where nothing that youve planned works, so dont bother trying.



My girlfriend has a possibility of deploying oversea (ARMY) so most likely I wont see her for a year... I know there will be someone else. No matter how much I love her... I know, she knows, and so does the next person.

[zepher]

wow...girl lyke u *scarcasticly talkin...*

lol i wus pimpin den i realized dat it wuz fukin me up so i decide to stay wit one girl and she turn to be my gf...:0

dun pal there more girls to come...

http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_smile.gif LOL