undevil
Feb 13, 2004, 06:30 PM
Hey here's a joke:
A group of bunnies are going to a party, they think they're beautiful.(they were all female ones) It was still early so they lay on the road and fell asleep. While they were asleep a car went over their heads and their heads were all flar but they were asleep so they didn't know. When they woke up they looked at each other and screamed,"Aaaahhhhhh~~~your head is flat!!!! Aaaaahhhhh~~~~aaahhhhh~~~~~aaaahhhhh~~~~~~!!!" They didn't go to the party that night because their heads were all flat.
I'll tell you another one later, ok?
here i do !...
Subject: The Woman with high heels stepped on The Chicken!!
Ok here's another one I'll tell you more tomorrow, ok?
On a brunch of a tree there are some chickens dancing on it. A chicken fall on the ground and at the same time a woman with high heels come, she nearly stepped on it but she moved her feet immediately. But then all the chickens fall on the ground, that woman was in a panic and she stepped on all the chickens and the chickens were all flat.
This next one is a classic.
Subject: Monkey throwing bananas at a Guy!!
You might not have heard this one cuz it's a new one I made it up not long ago:
I made this joke up when a girl in my class was eating a banana the other day: On a banana tree there's a monkey and a guy's sleeping under the tree. The monkey throw a banana at that guy's head that guy was very angry he saw the monkey and he goes,"Fucken monkey! I'll squash that banana!!" and the monkey goes,"No! Don't kill my banana!! Don't kill my banana!!"
Subject: Bunny throwing Carrots at the Guy!!
A guy's sleeping on the grass and a bunny with front teeth sticking out is picking carrots and she was throwing carrots at that guy and she was laughing like,"Vre,vre,vre,vre!!! Vre vre vre vre!!!" coz shes got her front tooth sticking out,that guy was very angry he saw the bunny and he goes,"Fucken bunny! I'll break that carrot!!" and the bunny goes, "Aahh~~ don't kill my carrot!! Don't kill my carrot!!" It might sounds funnier if I say it to u coz the funniest part of it is when the bunny's laughing like,"Vre,vre,vre!!"and it's a shame that you can't hear me making that sound it's real funny!
Subject: Village People/The Wicked Witch/Flat Bunnies!!
Hey ya this one's mental:
The people of a village were having an assembly when suddenly a wicked witch came and she said to the village people,"You are all dinosaurs!"and the village people goes,"We are all dinosaurs~" under the witch's spell. And now if you go to that village you can see people on the street going like,"Hehehe I'm a tyrannosaurus hehehe~" or "Huhuhu I'm a triceratops huhuhuhuhu!!" or "Haha I'm a nodosaurus oh hahahaha!" or "shishishishi I'm a plateosaurus shishishi~" everyone in the village is mad they think they're dinosaurs. And the wicked witch was like,"Oh hehehehe it's so funny hehehe!" every time the witch laughs she always jump up and down and unfortunetly when she was laughing she was standing in front of a bunny cave and the bunnies were coming out the cave and she jumped on all the bunnies and the bunnies were all flat.
The next one really made me think. Please note, DO NOT TAKE HER ADVISE.
Subject: How I got good marks for my maths test!(kinda silly)
Well this ones not really a joke but its funny!
Natalie(a friend, a girl in my class) asked me how I always do so well for tests and I said to her: Ok I'll teach you. Every night before you have a test you don't have to pray god for good marks but pray him to give you a dream that has an octopus in it and that night you'll dream of an octopus he'll say to you,"You must get 100% for you test tomorrow." and you have to say,"Yes I'll get 100% for my test, I'll certainly do." and he'll go,"Promise you you'll get 100% for the test otherwise someone's gonna cut my legs off." and you'll have to say,"Yes I promise I'll get 100% for my test, I won't let anyone cut your legs off Mr Octopus!" Then the next day when you're doing the test you'll see an invisible octopus in front of you, no one can see him but you, and he's gonna tell you the answers, octopuses have eight legs so they can do eight questions at a time and he'll be telling you the answers like,"Here we go, the first answer is 5, the second is .........(and so on)" and then you'll get 100% right, and if you don't that means you didn't listen to him properly, like me, sometimes I argue with Mr Octopus I go,"No you're wrong Mr Pooh the answer is 1! Shut up or I'll give you a sausage for dinner!!" And that, is how I get good mark for tests!
And there's more...
Subject: Bunny and the Fat Guy
There's fat guy in our class he was walking down the stairs but he was too fat and wasn't good at balancing so he rolled down the stairs and as he rolled down you can hear,'Bong! Bong! Bong! Bong!' coz he's very fat and he was like,"Aahh! Aahh! Aahh! Aahh!" after he rolled down the stairs he looked up(he was lying on the bottom floor)and suddenly a bunny with front teeth sticking out appeared and she goes,"Aahh~(very long)vre vre vre vre vre vre! Vre vre vre vre vre vre!(very fast)"(she laughs like that coz she has front teeth sticking out)and while she was laughing that fat guys mum came she was also very fat she was very angry and when the bunny realized that she was behind her she was like,"Vre vre vre vre.....vre vre....vre.... (getting slower and softer)"and then that fat guys mum kicked the bunny away and the bunny flew into the air and she was like,"Aaaaaaahhhhhh~~~"
Subject: Kangaroo and Lizards
I just made it up last time when my social study teacher told us that in China there's about 25 new born babied every minute and I made up this joke: In China there are 25 new born lizards every minute and there was a kangaroo that eats lizrds and he eats 25 lizards every minute and he goes,"25 lizards a minute keeps me healthy!" and every time he eats a lizard he goes,"Um yummy! Lizards are so sweet!"and that's why dinosaurs extinxt because the kangaroo ate up all of them every minute!(dinosaurs means 'large lizards')and when the kangaroo catches the lizards he's always like,"Hehehe lizards have heads like basketballs and fingers like sausages hehehe!"and the lizards were like,"Aahh~don't eat my sausage fingers and my head like basketballs!! Aahh~Aahh~aahh~!!"
Are you ready for one more? Put on the 3D goggles I supplied you with for this one.
Subject: Male & Female Bunnies!!!
In the house there's a female bunny and she's putting on make ups. Outside the window there's a male bunny, he loved that female bunny and he was trying to peep her from the window but was too short to reach so he jumped up to see her and was going like,"Vre vre vre vre!!" cuz he was excited. And that female bunny turned around but that bunny has already landed on the ground so she's like,"Eee????" and turned back. And then that male bunny kept on jumping and going like,"Vre vre vre vre!!!" and that female buny kept on turning around and goes,"Eeee????" but every time she turned the bunny had already landed on the ground. That male bunny was jumping higher and higher cuz he was getting so excited at last he bumped his head on the roof that sticks out and bounced back on the ground and he's like,"Aaaaahhh!!" and unfortunetly when he bounced back on the ground he hit his front teeth on the wall and his front teeth were broken so he had no front teeth.
A group of bunnies are going to a party, they think they're beautiful.(they were all female ones) It was still early so they lay on the road and fell asleep. While they were asleep a car went over their heads and their heads were all flar but they were asleep so they didn't know. When they woke up they looked at each other and screamed,"Aaaahhhhhh~~~your head is flat!!!! Aaaaahhhhh~~~~aaahhhhh~~~~~aaaahhhhh~~~~~~!!!" They didn't go to the party that night because their heads were all flat.
I'll tell you another one later, ok?
here i do !...
Subject: The Woman with high heels stepped on The Chicken!!
Ok here's another one I'll tell you more tomorrow, ok?
On a brunch of a tree there are some chickens dancing on it. A chicken fall on the ground and at the same time a woman with high heels come, she nearly stepped on it but she moved her feet immediately. But then all the chickens fall on the ground, that woman was in a panic and she stepped on all the chickens and the chickens were all flat.
This next one is a classic.
Subject: Monkey throwing bananas at a Guy!!
You might not have heard this one cuz it's a new one I made it up not long ago:
I made this joke up when a girl in my class was eating a banana the other day: On a banana tree there's a monkey and a guy's sleeping under the tree. The monkey throw a banana at that guy's head that guy was very angry he saw the monkey and he goes,"Fucken monkey! I'll squash that banana!!" and the monkey goes,"No! Don't kill my banana!! Don't kill my banana!!"
Subject: Bunny throwing Carrots at the Guy!!
A guy's sleeping on the grass and a bunny with front teeth sticking out is picking carrots and she was throwing carrots at that guy and she was laughing like,"Vre,vre,vre,vre!!! Vre vre vre vre!!!" coz shes got her front tooth sticking out,that guy was very angry he saw the bunny and he goes,"Fucken bunny! I'll break that carrot!!" and the bunny goes, "Aahh~~ don't kill my carrot!! Don't kill my carrot!!" It might sounds funnier if I say it to u coz the funniest part of it is when the bunny's laughing like,"Vre,vre,vre!!"and it's a shame that you can't hear me making that sound it's real funny!
Subject: Village People/The Wicked Witch/Flat Bunnies!!
Hey ya this one's mental:
The people of a village were having an assembly when suddenly a wicked witch came and she said to the village people,"You are all dinosaurs!"and the village people goes,"We are all dinosaurs~" under the witch's spell. And now if you go to that village you can see people on the street going like,"Hehehe I'm a tyrannosaurus hehehe~" or "Huhuhu I'm a triceratops huhuhuhuhu!!" or "Haha I'm a nodosaurus oh hahahaha!" or "shishishishi I'm a plateosaurus shishishi~" everyone in the village is mad they think they're dinosaurs. And the wicked witch was like,"Oh hehehehe it's so funny hehehe!" every time the witch laughs she always jump up and down and unfortunetly when she was laughing she was standing in front of a bunny cave and the bunnies were coming out the cave and she jumped on all the bunnies and the bunnies were all flat.
The next one really made me think. Please note, DO NOT TAKE HER ADVISE.
Subject: How I got good marks for my maths test!(kinda silly)
Well this ones not really a joke but its funny!
Natalie(a friend, a girl in my class) asked me how I always do so well for tests and I said to her: Ok I'll teach you. Every night before you have a test you don't have to pray god for good marks but pray him to give you a dream that has an octopus in it and that night you'll dream of an octopus he'll say to you,"You must get 100% for you test tomorrow." and you have to say,"Yes I'll get 100% for my test, I'll certainly do." and he'll go,"Promise you you'll get 100% for the test otherwise someone's gonna cut my legs off." and you'll have to say,"Yes I promise I'll get 100% for my test, I won't let anyone cut your legs off Mr Octopus!" Then the next day when you're doing the test you'll see an invisible octopus in front of you, no one can see him but you, and he's gonna tell you the answers, octopuses have eight legs so they can do eight questions at a time and he'll be telling you the answers like,"Here we go, the first answer is 5, the second is .........(and so on)" and then you'll get 100% right, and if you don't that means you didn't listen to him properly, like me, sometimes I argue with Mr Octopus I go,"No you're wrong Mr Pooh the answer is 1! Shut up or I'll give you a sausage for dinner!!" And that, is how I get good mark for tests!
And there's more...
Subject: Bunny and the Fat Guy
There's fat guy in our class he was walking down the stairs but he was too fat and wasn't good at balancing so he rolled down the stairs and as he rolled down you can hear,'Bong! Bong! Bong! Bong!' coz he's very fat and he was like,"Aahh! Aahh! Aahh! Aahh!" after he rolled down the stairs he looked up(he was lying on the bottom floor)and suddenly a bunny with front teeth sticking out appeared and she goes,"Aahh~(very long)vre vre vre vre vre vre! Vre vre vre vre vre vre!(very fast)"(she laughs like that coz she has front teeth sticking out)and while she was laughing that fat guys mum came she was also very fat she was very angry and when the bunny realized that she was behind her she was like,"Vre vre vre vre.....vre vre....vre.... (getting slower and softer)"and then that fat guys mum kicked the bunny away and the bunny flew into the air and she was like,"Aaaaaaahhhhhh~~~"
Subject: Kangaroo and Lizards
I just made it up last time when my social study teacher told us that in China there's about 25 new born babied every minute and I made up this joke: In China there are 25 new born lizards every minute and there was a kangaroo that eats lizrds and he eats 25 lizards every minute and he goes,"25 lizards a minute keeps me healthy!" and every time he eats a lizard he goes,"Um yummy! Lizards are so sweet!"and that's why dinosaurs extinxt because the kangaroo ate up all of them every minute!(dinosaurs means 'large lizards')and when the kangaroo catches the lizards he's always like,"Hehehe lizards have heads like basketballs and fingers like sausages hehehe!"and the lizards were like,"Aahh~don't eat my sausage fingers and my head like basketballs!! Aahh~Aahh~aahh~!!"
Are you ready for one more? Put on the 3D goggles I supplied you with for this one.
Subject: Male & Female Bunnies!!!
In the house there's a female bunny and she's putting on make ups. Outside the window there's a male bunny, he loved that female bunny and he was trying to peep her from the window but was too short to reach so he jumped up to see her and was going like,"Vre vre vre vre!!" cuz he was excited. And that female bunny turned around but that bunny has already landed on the ground so she's like,"Eee????" and turned back. And then that male bunny kept on jumping and going like,"Vre vre vre vre!!!" and that female buny kept on turning around and goes,"Eeee????" but every time she turned the bunny had already landed on the ground. That male bunny was jumping higher and higher cuz he was getting so excited at last he bumped his head on the roof that sticks out and bounced back on the ground and he's like,"Aaaaahhh!!" and unfortunetly when he bounced back on the ground he hit his front teeth on the wall and his front teeth were broken so he had no front teeth.