The Story Of The Rappies and Raties Forever: Chapter 5: Defy

[Siyamak]

This is just for rediculousness, but whatever *shrug*

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Ready the Army

Sord steps on a stage and walks to a podium. He stands in front of thousands of Rappies and neon-green&black Ratis.

"Hello my feathered friends and biotechnological coolnesses. Long have we suffered. Millions of Rappies die each day. Rati's are shunned by people who feel they are, and they are, below the coolness of the neon-green&black Ratis. Also, thanks to the new swarm of 11,000 neon-green&black Rati's, we will be able to stop these things. Although I think we will need some allies. So, first things first."

"5,000 NGB Ratis will seek out a computer and a person. The computer is Ian-KunX and the human's name is Ketchup. You will then convince them to join at least the Rati part of our cause. They both can be of great use to us. Ian-KunX is a computer, specializing in making sprites, but being a computer, he can do much more than that (I hope). Ketchup is the leader of a Rati cult, and could help to gather people to our side, as well as other Ratis."

"Now go Rati's, and seek out the two and see if they will join our cause!"

At this last comment, five-thousand Rati's go off to find the two mentioned people, making blips of happiness and moving around.

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Sord on 2004-04-12 18:31 ]</font>


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Sord on 2004-06-10 18:18 ]</font>

[Doomed2k]

Even for how short this is, it is pretty interesting.

[Siyamak]

now continued with the support of Ian and Ketchup...

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Preparing the Army ptII

Sord waits at his stands for one hour, then finally, two things are brought in by Rappies. Two of them are wheeling in a cart with a computer and 5.1 surround sound speakers attached to it, and another Rappy is leading a man dressed in what looks like a male version of a Ramarl's camo outfit, including the hat. For some odd reason, he keeps thrusting his handgun back and forth.

"So, you to must be Ketchup and Ian-KunX?"

"Just call me Ian." The computer says, in a high girls voice. "Ahh, crap! Damn virus! Hold on..." Ian says. Humming noises start coming from the computer. "Okay, how's this?" Ian says in a man's voice.

"Better, that's for sure." exclaims Ketchup, trying not to laugh.

Sord just raises an eyebrow then shakes his head. "Any ways, I assume you two have joined since you here?"

"Yes," the two shout immediately.

"Calm down, no need to shout. Any ways, now that we are here, we need to explain missions." Sord starts to explain, the two newcomers nodding.

"First, Ketchup, you are to stand on the top of a bridge and threaten to jump off if no one accepts your order of people joining our army. If no one agrees, you shall kill yourself. Ian, you are going to be implanted with a bomb and wheeled into a Rappy serving restaurants. Once inside, you shall set the bomb inside you off."

"What?!" Yell the two. Ketchup's jaw is now dropped very low and his eye's are wide. While Ian's monitor now shows a blue background with a distressed looking sprite face. The eyes are made of Rati's and he his mouth (black circle) is open wide in supposed shock.

Sord suddenly bursts out laughing, "Hahaha, you should see the look on you two! Any ways, that's not really what your going to do. Okay," Sord tries to compose himself. "All right, Ketchup, you are in charge of gathering followers of the Rati. You need to convince people that Rappies and Ratis are the best. Ian, you are to hack PU, or Postal United. I want you to delete every order of Rappy based food. I also need you to see that all shipments of mags are sent here so that we may raise them into Rati's."

[Excel Saga]"Haaaaaail Sord"[/Excel Saga] The two shout, Ketchup doing a salute, Ian showing a pixelated elf saluting.

"Uh guys, please don't do that." Sord says, getting a big sweat drop on the back of his head.

The Rappies wheel Ian to another roomed to be hooked into the Internet, while Ketchup goes off to schedule meetings for his Rati cult.

Latter that night...

Sord sneaks into Ian's room, where he's hooked into the Internet. Sord pulls up the chair and sits down. "All righty then..." Sord says, taking hold of the mouse and opening the Internet. Once on he goes to a search engine. In the text bar he begins to type "hot girls in the nu..."

"Hey! What are you doing?!" Ian finally comes to, realizing what Sord is trying to do. "No porn for you buster!"

" http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_frown.gif darn it!" Sord says, leaving the room.

To be continued...

[mr_rubbish]

Tres amusant.

[Lone_Wolf_Nasca]

Yes, this is very amusing indeed http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/anime1.gif !! Nice work Sord !!

Sord: So whats the moral of this story kiddies !?

Little kids: Never under estimate "The All Mighty Sord" !!

Sord: Brainwashing kids is so easy !!*Evil Grin*

[Robert_Wolf]

LOL!

Ok...

Wait! I have a Rati! I raised it myself all legit like! Oo, Oo! Pick me!

[Ketchup345]

Nice...

Except for that weird hangun part... http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_confused.gif ya, I know, my old avatar

Can't wait till part 3.

Edit: Just noticed you put Ratis in the title. Generally, the "s" is left off the end of Mags even if plural (one Rati is Rati, 2 is Rati, 3 is Rati; etc). Same goes for Sato, Savitri, and many others.

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Ketchup345 on 2004-03-09 14:58 ]</font>

[Siyamak]

erm...Chapter 2?
Wet Willies and Politics

Sord sighs, and begins to walk on up the stage to stand at the podium. Ketchup and Ian are on the floor, as well as a Newman. The Newman had slicked back hair that was obviously died black. For some bizarre reason, he was wearing the normal FOnewm outfit, but it was all the colors of a Pal Rappy.

"Hmmm, I see you have recruited someone Ketchup, good job. Your pay will be increased to 100 meseta a day."

"Hey, what about me?" complained Ian.

"What could a computer possibly need money for?" Sord asked curiously.

"Programs obviously," Ian said, matter-of-factly.

Sord just shook his head. "Ian, we already fund all programs you get, as long as you ask for our consent first. I've told you this three times now, so first we are getting you more memory."

At this point the newcomer raised his hand. Sord quickly acknowledged it, asking him to speak.

"Yeah, well, since no one seems to care to ask my name, it's Sef. Any way, where are we getting our resources and money from?" Sef asked. Then he stuck his finger in his mouth and rammed it into Ketchup's ear, shouting "WET WILLIE!!!"

At this Ketchup got thoroughly annoyed and rammed his handgun into Sef's face, knocking him over. Sef proceeded to get up and pummel Ketchup, while Ketchup pummeled back. Soon all that could be seen of the two was a rolling gray cloud with fists.

Sords palmed his forehead and drug his hand across his face. "STOP FIGHTING!!!" He yelled at the top of his lungs, very demanding like. The two instantly stopped, Ketchup's hand on Sef's throat, and Sef's foot an inch away from kicking Ketchup's groin. Both separated and got a sweat mark.

"Okay then," Sord sighed, "as for your question Sef. We all know that when you kill Rappies, they drop money and items. This is because Rappies seem to think of these as food from time to time. So, as soon as our Rappies get through their, um... digestive processes, we clean the money and items. Also, Rappies gather items from crates on Ragol around the clock."

"Now that that's cleared up, we need to assign you a position Sef. You will be our Secretary of Battles. Your job is to come up with ways for Rappies to better fight the hunters on Ragol. So what will you do first?"

"Um... how about I teach the Rappies to use the various weapons they gather?" Sef said, a bit of a question, a bit of a statement.

Sord clapped, "Good, I see Ketchup found a member who can think. Not that you can't Ketchup."

There was a silence, and the Ian finally shouted out of his speakers, "Hey! What about me?"

"One could question if you're actually thinking Ian, after all, you are a computer. Gotta get that memory pretty soon?"

"Right, so any ways, you three are dismissed."

"HAAAAAAAAAAAAIL SORD!!!" The three shouted.

"I told you not to do that!" Sord shouted back. "You are not to hail me! You are to hail the organization. Even though it is all based on my, I mean, our ideals, that does not mean that is isn't its own body. Now, since I don't feel like discussing politics with you three..." Sord reached out and grabbed a rope that had conveniently appeared. Once pulled, the floor fell away under the trio of RRF revolutionaries, and for some reason beyond comprehension, they landed on top of the base.

Sord sighed, walked off stage, went to his room, and went back to sleep.

[Sef]

I better teach them how to use monomates if the moment arises! w00t, I gots me a job.

Very interesting story Sord! I wonder how the hunters will react to Rappies that don't just peck at you.

[Robo47]

Hmmm... interesting.

[Siyamak]

Chapter 3: Asault on Mr. Akiko's Famous Recipe Fired Rappy


Sord looked at all the people/rappies/raties that were sitting at the meeting table. Well, except for Ian and the Rati's considering they couldn't actually sit. Everyone was present, except for one very important sophisticated rappy general, Pog.

Suddenly the big wooden door burst open and Pog comes running in, holding a pocket watch and shouting "I'm late; I'm late, for a very important date!" Pog then shuts up and takes a seat.

"Right then," Sord says, slightly weirded out, "Any how, I need a status report. Ketchup, how is our campaign going?"

"Well sir, I have gotten a few underground operatives, but I'm afraid that is all." Ketchup replies in a semi-disappointed tone.

"Right then, Ian, how is the new memory going?"

"If a and b are the legs of a right triangle, and c is the hypotenuse, then b squared plus c squared equals a squared."

At this point, all Sord can do is smack his forehead in disappointment. This Elly he hears about must have really screwed Ian up.

"Okay, first off Ian, it's a squared plus b squared equals c squared. Now, how is the redirecting of shipments going?"

"Perfectly fine sir, though now the owner of the Mr. Akiko's Famous Recipe Fried Rappy, Mr. Akiko, is beginning to hire hunters to catch his customers next dinner."

"Damn it!" Sord shouts, slamming his fist on the table. "Ahh! Double damn it!" Sord yells, cradling his now aching hand.

"Okay, okay, Sef, how is the training going?"

"Moving along smoothly, all the rappies know the three moves needed to use each weapon, and I also taught them to use monomates." Sef replies, in a very self-confident tone.

"Good, you'll get your @100 a week now. Alright peo... esteemed comrades. Today we are going to carry out a very big mission. We are to permanently shut down Mr. Akiko's Famous Recipe Fried Chicken. Now, I don't want any of the workers hurt. I have found out that Mr. Akiko keeps them in sweat shop conditions, and they might even join the up rise. So I only want you to attack them if they attack first. Also, to the rappies, no getting it freaky with and love rappies you save, got it?? At this point, the 17,000 rappies at this humongous table nodded their heads, a bit of gleam leaving their eyes.

"Okay, now here's how we're going to go about this..."



Mr. Akiko is sitting at his desk, filling out contracts for his rappy hunters, when suddenly an alarm goes off. "Bring up the monitor!" he shouts, and a monitor comes down out of the roof, extended by a pole. Several screens pop up on the monitor, each showing a different Mr. Akiko's Famous Recipe Fried Rappy restaurant.

Each restaurant has the same problem. Rappies are parachuting down upon them, then cutting open the roofs with various photon weapons. Then, the rappies seem to be herding the workers out, before lighting fire to the restaurants and throwing grenades in them. Even some of the workers have started to burn their uniforms in joy.

"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooo," Mr. Akiko takes a breath, "ooooooooooooo, they can't do this to me! I'm ruined! I never even paid my insurance!!!"

Suddenly Mr. Akiko's office door bursts open, and a sophisticated rappy is standing there, wielding a sickly black and purple scythe. The rappy jumps into the air, scythe held high, screaming "AND NOW YOU DIE!!!" and the last thing Mr. Akiko can think before his death befalls him is... "Crap, I need to go to the bathroom... and why can this rappy talk?"

Pog looks at the screens, after kicking the dead Akiko corpse to the side, a gash in its head. All the rappies all over Pioneer 2 begin to shimmer with blue light, before disappearing in thin air. Pog smiles, the mission was a success. Then he too is surrounded by the blue light, before being teleported back to base.

[Siyamak]

"Okay men... and rappy/rati counterparts. You've all done a good job today. We have just taken our first step too free rappies from being hunted and abused. I am sorry to say though that I have yet to come up with a way to spread the words of the coolness of the Ratis through means of a mission. We are already messing with shipments so mags are sent to us for raising, there's not much else we can do. If any one else has an idea, e-mail me via-Ian." Sord said to his organization, just having gotten over a week of celebrating the death of Mr. Akiko.

Many a rappy had gotten drunk, and hense ten times many rappies were born. The rati's had raved constantly, glad for the rappy friends. As a result of this organization some rappies had even began equiping rati's. Sef had given many rappies a rubby (and made a fortune of it), which didn't exactly help the baby problem when it was a female rappy reivieving the BBQ sauce and butter, as the male rappies only flocked after them more. Ian had been hooked up to a projector, sending light patterns everywhere and even a holographic HUnewearl dancer before being told to turn it off (the dancer that is.) Ketchup, well, as far as any one knew, he was just working on his resistance to some other faction. Sord pitied him a bit, he seemed to have a lot more responsibilies, hence he had slipped a bit more income into his paycheck.

"Okay. After going over some things, I think it's time to make a new holiday to boost out profits. After all, our merchandise isn't selling to great, since we don't have an establisher of it, and besides, all big companies make holidays to sell their merchandise nowadays. I have thought long and hard on it, and we shall call the holiday, Ester." Sord exclaimed. Ketchup raised his hand, not really liking it, but Sord had made the rule as it made things easier to deal with. Sord called on Ketchup to speak, so Ketchup spoke up.

"Well, Ester sounds kind of lacking... how about Easter?"

"No, I thought about that, but it just seems so much more... lets take an egg, boil it, which kills the chick, then paint it; and painted boiled rappy eggs are the last thing we need."

"Okay then."

"So, any thing else?" Sord asked his audience. Ian let out a few bleeps, and Sord asked him to speak.

"Yes, um, well, it seems that the shipping people have found a way to go against my hacking, by switching to pen and paper. We are now on a low of mags to raise into Rati's." Ian said disapointedly.

"Well, I guess we can implement a mission after all. Though I'll have to figure a way of going about it... Actually, Ian, how many diffrent hunter, forces, and rangers can you use in you hologram projector?"

"Well, some idiot thought it would be fun to sell a game resembling our world very realistically, and I've actually accessed the codes for the character creation process, which can lead to plenty of combinations. Besides, fighter looks all have standards any ways, so a few people that look the same is considered normal."

"Good, then we can simply put you in front of the hunters guild and have you keep sending in "new fighters," for mags." Sord said happily. Then Ian said that he couldn't do voices, and Sord hungs his head.

Sord looked up again, and spoke, "If anyone should have an idea, please contact me via-Ian. You may also ask others for ideas, people outside of the organization, though be careful who you ask, and how you ask them. Meeting dismissed." Sord walked of the stage went to his quarters, immediatly laying on his bed, still trying to figure out what he was going to do with all the newborn rappies. He sighed, thinking, "Well, at least we know what to do if rappies near extinction."
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Obviously, this means if any one has any ideas, other than downloading a voice modificator, PM the idea.

[Nai_Calus]

Raties? *stabs* ^_^

And I would never, EVER make a projection of a HUnewearl. XP Hehe. XD

If there's a shitload of raving, does this mean I get to have a ten minute-long sex scene with Fluffy?

[Siyamak]

On 2004-04-12 18:44, Ian-KunX wrote:
Raties? *stabs* ^_^

And I would never, EVER make a projection of a HUnewearl. XP Hehe. XD

If there's a shitload of raving, does this mean I get to have a ten minute-long sex scene with Fluffy?


if PSOW wasn't PG-13, yes

[Garanz2]

On 2004-04-12 18:49, Sord wrote:

On 2004-04-12 18:44, Ian-KunX wrote:
Raties? *stabs* ^_^

And I would never, EVER make a projection of a HUnewearl. XP Hehe. XD

If there's a shitload of raving, does this mean I get to have a ten minute-long sex scene with Fluffy?


if PSOW wasn't PG-13, yes



OK, that's just disturbing http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_barf.gif

Funny stuff Sord.

[Siyamak]

Chapter 5: Defying Laws

Sord walked into the main computer room to check up on Ian. Upon entering, he found a Rati rubbing up against Ian, who was making a humming sound similar to a cat's pur.

"...uh, Ian?" Sord interrupted, raising an eyebrow.

"Huh, oh! Uh... Hey Sord?" Ian said, surprised by Sord's sudden appearance. Immediately the Rati moved away to hover beside Ian.

"So... Who's your little friend here?" Sord asked.

"Huh? Oh, Fluffy, it's name is Fluffy... " Ian stammered.

"Right... Well, anyways, how's it been going?"

"Are you trying to befriend me to look up bad things again Sord?"

"Actually no, I'm just as bored as hell." Sord replied, yawning.

"Oh... Well, I have Pong with Rappy and Rati skins, we can both play at that."

"Somehow I'm going to regret this..." Sord said, leaning forward to the keyboard.

15 minutes later...

"Damnit! You hacked this program didn't you?!" Sord said accusingly, having not scored a single point, while Ian was far ahead. Before Ian could reply in defense (even though he did mess with the keyboard sensitivity) Sord stormed off.

He went into the meeting room and sat in his chair. "God I'm bored... Hungry and thirsty too... I think I'll have someone go get me an Eepruls. With that, Sord flipped a switch on the table and spoke into a microphone. He proceeded to say in Rappy speak, "Ted, Fred, I need you in the meeting room,"

Shortly an Al Rappy and a Rag Rappy showed up. The Al Rappy's name was Fred, and the Rag Rappies name was Ted.

"Hello you two, I need you to run an errand for me. Your objective is to fetch an Eepruls for me from the nearest 11-7. You may get one each for yourselves as well. Your gear is in the next room." Sord said, and the two Rappies went into the closet.

"So, what flavor you gonna get?" Asked Fred.

"I dun, how about you Fred?" Replied Ted

"You know, we should really stop talking like this, it might make for boring repetitive dialogue in the creation of all things we know in this universe." Stated Fred. Ted nodded, and proceeded to get a rope and belt harness. Fred put the harness on to save time, and Ted coiled the rope around his left wing.

They quickly left the HQ, and sneaking from street to street, managed to reach Downtown Station.

"Mum... Fred... Isn't 11-7 in Uptown Station?" Asked Ted.

"McRappy Burger!" Fred cursed, slapping his forehead after seeing the sign as well. The sign read: "Welcome to Downtown Station, Population: 723." The sign also had something carved into it. Upon closer look, it said "Ian <3 Fluffy," the heart having an arrow through it. Both Rappies fell into an awkward silence at this, knowing whose' names they where.

"Riiiiight..." Ted said, "Well, let's go."

Both Rappies turned around and headed uptown to Uptown. When they finally snuck up to the area, they sighed in relief. They quickly spotted an 11-7, and after stacking some trash cans, climbed on the roof.

They managed to cut a hole in the roof with a mini-blowtorch that was in the harness. After taking the piece of roof off, Ted tied the rope to the harness on Fred and lowered him down into the 11-7. They quickly managed to get two cups of Eepruls and get them on the roof. On the second time, Ted lost his grip on the rope, dropping Fred to the floor with a thump.

"... Oops?" Ted said.

Fred got up an shook himself, then he did what he hadn't done while he was on the rope... Turn around. A whole crowd had gathered and was watching them, surprised looks on their faces.

"Right, uh, everyone stay calm." Fred said, after remembering only Sord understood Rappy speech.

"..http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/anime2.gif." Fred stood there, frozen. Then he quickly turned his back on the crowd, and when he faced them he held a black top-hat and cane. He put the hat on fashionably and did a little tap dance with skips and hops. He finished, and it was now so silent, you could hear a pin drop.

"^^;;;... And for my next step, I shall get an Eepruls" Fred continued, moving his wings dramatically. He immediately turned around and filled another Eepruls cup. He then turned around, maid a bow, and was quickly pulled up by Ted onto the roof.

"So that's how they get into those trees." Some random person mumbled. Up-top Ted quickly shouted, "Come, let's jump and fly!" After strapping the Eepruls to the harness, the two ran and jumped off the building. Then as they were in air, all time seemed to stop.

"Uh... Ted... We're Rappies, we can't fly."

"Oh yeah, forgot about that..."

And they both fell straight down onto conveniently places bags of trash. They quickly got up and headed off, checking the drinks for any spillage. Meanwhile, all the customers in the 11-7 where still standing, staring at the hole in the roof. Soon a tumbleweed was swept by on an eerie wind?

Now by this time, you might be wondering to yourself, "How could the Rappies know they were being written about in an analogy, sneak through to two towns, know how to operate a mini-torch and harness, know how to tap dance, magically pull a hat and cane out of no where, hang in midair for a brief second and talk, conveniently land on trash bags, and have the crowd so stunned silent that a tumbleweed blows buy in a ship where there isn't any wind." Well, I'll tell you why... BECAUSE I'M THE WRITER YOU SMART ASS AND WHAT I SAY GOES!!!

So the two Rappies managed to sneak back to HQ, and happily drank their Eepruls, then to their misfortune, were bedridden for two days on food poisoning. The moral here: Do not bother getting drinks from a crappy chain store that looks like a gas-station, but is missing the pump.
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Now you might be wondering, "What the hell, is an Eepruls, and what is a 11-7?" Well, they are both switched versions of real thing. A Slurpee is a slushy drink, and 7-11 is just how it's described, a chain store that looks like a gas station but without the pumps.