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_Ted_
Mar 7, 2004, 09:31 PM
Sunday, March 7, 2004 Posted: 7:54 PM EST (0054 GMT)
Los Angeles (Los Angeles Times) -- Ted Airlines had been doing great. Business was booming, stock prices were rising. With planes flying out of more than 500 airports across the country the airline was raking in the profits. Primary shareholder Ted had just bought another mansion (his 23rd).

But on Tuesday afternoon tragedy struck. One of the airline's planes went down in flames over Hawaii.

It started out as a routine flight with many of the passengers enjoying the complementary TedVision (cable TV) that is standard with all airplanes that are part of the airline. About 10 minutes after take off a disgruntled monorail conductor from Seattle suffered a mental break down.

When the flight attendant came to offer him a drink he was reported to have been muttering and playing with the spoon that had come with his soup. He turned to the flight attendant and threw his steaming hot soup in her face. She fell back screaming into another row of seats.

The man, Robert Johnson, then opened up the rack above him and pulled out his suitcase. He then pulled a ballpoint pen from his pocket and charged down the aisle stabbing his pen around as though it were a knife and swing his suitcase at the people sitting in the aisles. When he got to the front of the plane he pulled the emergency latch on the boarding door. The door swung open and the cabin began to rapidly depressurize. Robert was nearly sucked from the airplane, but managed to hold on to the door to the cockpit. His suitcase was wretched from his grip and flew from the airplane and was sucked into the engine causing it to ignite.

Co-pilot Tom Miller came out from the cockpit to see what had happened. He came out just in time to see Robert scream wildly about losing his suitcase full of pants and dive out the open hatch. Tom and another flight attendant managed to shut the door just a few moments later.

However, with one engine having been taken out by suitcase of pants the other engine was straining to keep the plane flying. The strain became too much and the engine erupted into flames as well. The plane came in for a crash landing on Maui. The passengers and crew were able to escape before the plane was consumed in flames.

This shocking event is a may be a hammer blow for the airline, but the airline's chairman remains confident and says "We will not let the acts of a madman deter this company's progress."

http://www.geocities.com/ted2023/plane-crash.txt



ARRRGGGG! Pants have ruined everything!

Sord
Mar 7, 2004, 09:36 PM
[complaining hippie voice]no way, the spoon started it all man...[/complaining hippie voice]

_Ted_
Mar 7, 2004, 11:36 PM
spoons and pants..errrr...

Amiadon
Mar 8, 2004, 01:15 AM
Have I told you all that I hate you today?

Cyranium
Mar 8, 2004, 08:57 AM
That was an awesome story. Please Ted, Share another. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wacko.gif

_Ted_
Mar 8, 2004, 10:19 AM
http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wacko.gif

Noobliterator
Mar 8, 2004, 10:25 AM
hey man that sux...
but I still get free tickets right?

Allos
Mar 8, 2004, 11:31 AM
This is positively delightful! Do you wish to join the DTPA now Ted?

KaFKa
Mar 8, 2004, 11:55 AM
On 2004-03-07 18:36, Sord wrote:
[complaining hippie voice]no way, the spoon started it all man...[/complaining hippie voice]


*mercilessly beats sord into a mallable red jelly, then burns the jelly, and throws the cinders into the ocean*

Cyranium
Mar 8, 2004, 02:02 PM
On 2004-03-08 07:19, _Ted_ wrote:
http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wacko.gif


That's not another story, I want another story!
http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_mad.gif

anwserman
Mar 8, 2004, 02:37 PM
http://www.geocities.com/ted2023/plane-crash.txt


Next time, try to blur the edges of the plane with the background image, so it won't look as photoshopped.

*Glares at jaggy edges on the airplane*

Ketchup345
Mar 8, 2004, 02:44 PM
On 2004-03-08 08:55, KaFKa wrote:
*mercilessly beats sord and Ted into a mallable red jelly, then burns the jelly, and throws the cinders into the ocean*


Pants did not cause that.

It was all due to that psycho and Pants were just innocent victims.

Robo47
Mar 8, 2004, 02:59 PM
Dammit Ketch, let it go man. Just give up. The Anti Pants have won.

Allos
Mar 8, 2004, 03:47 PM
You treasonous bastard! I demand you take that back or I'll give your rank to uncle!

Kizaragu
Mar 8, 2004, 04:00 PM
Dude... re-read what robo posted. *roll of eyes*

PJ
Mar 8, 2004, 04:37 PM
Chao knew the pants were evil

Or maybeb we just couldn't find any our size

http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wacko.gif

Ketchup345
Mar 8, 2004, 05:06 PM
On 2004-03-08 11:59, Robo47 wrote:
Dammit Ketch, let it go man. Just give up. The Anti Pants have won.


The pants were the victim, not the cause...

_Ted_
Mar 8, 2004, 06:15 PM
On 2004-03-08 11:37, anwserman praised:


http://www.geocities.com/ted2023/plane-crash.txt


Thats a very nice obviously professionaly taken photograph!

*Glares at clarity of the airplane*



There, I fixed your post for you!

Robo47
Mar 8, 2004, 08:41 PM
On 2004-03-08 14:06, Ketchup345 wrote:


On 2004-03-08 11:59, Robo47 wrote:
Dammit Ketch, let it go man. Just give up. The Anti Pants have won.


The pants were the victim, not the cause...



Theyre like the Ring I tells ya!

They were saying to him:

Do it, theyre the cause of your misery, we'll give you candy!

Pants are the Anti-Christ!!!

*incinerates some Pants factorys*

Bradicus
Mar 8, 2004, 09:57 PM
On 2004-03-08 13:00, Kizaragu wrote:
Dude... re-read what robo posted. *roll of eyes*


And be quick about it... i'm starting to chafe ;_;

Noobliterator
Mar 9, 2004, 09:47 AM
pants pants pants=evil evil evil
pants=evil
evil=pants
Pants=evil=unholy
unholy=pants=evil
evil=unholy=pants
I would also like to state that I hate the
legislation that requires people to wear pants



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Noobliterator on 2004-03-09 06:51 ]</font>

Hrith
Mar 9, 2004, 12:37 PM
http://images.google.fr/images?q=tbn:cQ6gfNr_DqUJ:www.mit.edu/people/dbolton/pants.jpg

http://www.encuentro2000.org/pants.jpg

http://www.cheapdisposable.com/~shaindle/pants.jpg

http://images.google.fr/images?q=tbn:V3zOY9t3QpIJ:startredder.tripod.com/pants.jpg


PANTS

Sord
Mar 9, 2004, 04:44 PM
On 2004-03-08 08:55, KaFKa wrote:


On 2004-03-07 18:36, Sord wrote:
[complaining hippie voice]no way, the spoon started it all man...[/complaining hippie voice]


*mercilessly beats sord into a mallable red jelly, then burns the jelly, and throws the cinders into the ocean*


*comes back as the blob, eats Kef KaFKa, and somhow laughs as I dissolve him in my jellyness*