New sig...

[Cowboy]

whatcha think?

[Blitzkommando]

Nice. I loved that movie! I can't seem to remember his name though Wonka that is. He played Dr. Who as well.

[Cowboy]

Authorities have stunned the world with lurid reports of a sweeping investigation into a sex scandal involving employees of renowned candy manufacturer Willy Wonka.

An 18-month investigation has resulted in numerous arrests, including the indictments of dozens of Oompa Loompas, the diminutive workers at the factory made famous in a well-known documentary film entitled, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.

There have been sordid and almost unbelievable reports of a wide range of offenses, including pornographic films featuring Oompa Loompas, all-night orgies at the Wonka factory and other incidents of lewd behavior—at least one involving a taffy-pulling machine and what investigators are calling "inappropriate relations with a golden goose."

"Those Oompa Loompas are anything but cute and cuddly," said Lt. Irving Lügner, lead investigator. "You don’t even want to know what those little perverts have done in that chocolate river."

Officials have released a number of incriminating photos, allegedly featuring Oompa Loompas in compromising positions in various locations throughout the Wonka factory.

"Let’s say this entire affair took many of us by surprise," said one local official, who wished to remain anonymous. "These aren’t the people you would expect to be involved in a sex scandal, like evangelists or professional athletes. No, some people held these Loompas in very high regard. Especially the kids."

Also under investigation is the notoriously reclusive head of the Wonka organization, Willy Wonka. The enigmatic Wonka, and his legal representatives, not surprisingly, have refused to comment on the investigation.

"That Wonka guy—we should have known," said one detective close to the investigation. "The signs were all there. I’ve been working vice for twenty years, and let’s just say you don’t often find a guy with a purple coat and comb-over who isn’t the head of a sex ring. The man’s name is Willy for crying out loud."

Now that the scandal has broken, many citizens are echoing that sentiment, vocally criticizing law enforcement authorities for actions many feel are too little too late. Shouldn’t someone have known?

Some cite the fact that the aforementioned documentary, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, contained any number of "red flags" which should have tipped officials off to the carnal depravity alleged to have thrived within the walls of the secretive Wonka factory.

The documentary follows a young boy, Charlie Bucket, as he participates in a highly suspect "lottery" to gain access to the Wonka factory. Other children are also lured to the Wonka factory by promises of sweets. Once inside, children begin to disappear almost immediately. Their disappearances are never adequately explained, and ironically, the Oompa Loompas now at the center of all the controversy have the audacity to sing after each child disappears. If it did not exist on film, it would almost be too shocking to believe

[ERS]

Oompa-Loompas will rule the world someday.

My new sig > j00



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: ERS on 2004-03-15 21:18 ]</font>

[Blitzkommando]

Fender?

[_Ted_]

Nice Sig Tracon, but Blitz's governator sig is still great!