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View Full Version : FanFic: Can't think of a title.....



Sparticus
Mar 30, 2004, 10:01 AM
This is what I've got so far...more will be added soon, probably tomorow http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_smile.gif :
The blazing sun beat down on the sun baked brick walls. The towering granite pillars cast their shadows on the tiled floor. A faint breeze wafted through the tall weeds growing in small clumps by the walls and created dust wisps to move erratically across the ground.
The smouldering remains of a Hildelt lay sprawled in the centre of the room, flies had started to buzz around the corpse. It was silent. Four pairs of eyes were watching the smoking beast, from the shadows of the pillars, weapons ready, waiting to see if anything else was going to come to the aid of their fallen ?comrade?
The huge metallic figure looked around the room. He knew this wasn?t real, just a virtual reality training area, but he also knew that you could die out here, so he was taking no risks.
He turned to face the others in the group. Grauer the Ramar scanned the room from the sights of his long barrelled wals MK2 Chani the fonewearl, clasping her staff in a way a small child might hold a soft toy. Finally Repenta the Hucaseal, her Double saber glinting, even in the shade.
The Racast unlimbered his Guilty Light and signalled for Grauer to scout forward. Suddenly three Indebelras appeared, all firing at the same time. Grauer rolled out of the way and snapped off a shot. The first fist struck the ground where Grauer had been moments before. The second hit the pillar where the Racast was, covering his grey amour in dust. The third took Chani square on the chest, knocking her backwards and rendering her unconscious.
The Racast saw this and swore. He turned, bellowed with rage and fired his Guilty Light at one of the Indebelras. Repenta rushed past him, swinging her Double-Saber in a deadly figure of eight.

Comments welcome!

Thepandaman
Mar 30, 2004, 10:53 AM
It's good. It's very good. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_beer.gif
I did notice though that it seems a bit strange that Chani seems to be quite young, considering that they are on Ultimate mode and all....
very descriptive though, well done, keep it up !