HUnewearl_Meira
04-06-2004, 04:14 PM
This really just rolled right along. I was kinda worried about whether or not I'd actually have any idea of what I wanted to do with this, but I just kinda started with the first thing that came to my mind, and ran with it.
So, anyway, you guys asked for it, so here it is. The Recollection of Dragoon!
EDIT: How'd I forget the "FanFic:" tag?
Enjoy, folks!
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[Initializing Logger]
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Hey, **** you, I don't want to wait.
[Logger initialized.]
[File Name?: DRAGOON-01.KILLYOUNOW.LOG]
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[Beginning Log]
It jiggles when I poke it. I will poke it again. Poke. Poke poke poke.
[End Log]
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[Logger re-initialized.]
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[File Name?: DRAGOON-01.KILLYOUNOW.LOG]
[File opened.]
[Beginning Log]
I had a tragic battle with a tube of shoe goo, that morning. I looked at it, and it angered me. I saw it, and wanted to read its directions label, but even though the tube was made of some sort of aluminum alloy, the contents made it squishy. I had to kill it. So I did. I am now banned from Jolly-Marts all over the city. I did manage to pick off most of the merchandice that got stuck to me, however. I believe there's still a box of plastic spoons stuck to my back, however. BUT DANGIT, THAT TUBE OF GOO WAS ASKING FOR IT!! Grrr.
I think Scejthe is mad at me. She's banned now, too. Actually, I'm a little annoyed at her, myself. Every time we came near the pet section, she started pushing me away from it. I ONLY WANTED TO LOOK AT THE FISHIES!! THE FISHIES! Fishies. I mean really, you strangle a stray dog ONCE and all of a sudden the world thinks you're incapable of looking at fishies.
We were in the miscellaneous repair section. "What's this?" I said, as I looked at a fat, metal tube. It said "Shoe goo". "Shoooo... Gooo?" I said. I was intrigued. It was goo for shoes! What a marvel!
I picked it up, and Scejthe immediately told me, "Please put it down, Dragoon! You're going to get us in trouble. Let's just get the bolt plate thingies and go."
I ignored her, and picked it up, anyway. As I lifted it, I realized that not only was it a metal tube, but it was filled with something squishy! SQUISHY!! I started to get excited. I was starting to feel overwhelmed with the joy of knowing that there was something squishy in the middle of this aluminum construct! "Scejthe!!" I yelled, "IT SQUISHES!!"
"Please, Dragoon! Put it down before you get us in trouble," she said. Ha. Put it down, indeed.
"But... I want to kill it, Scejthe," I replied.
"Dragoon, you can't kill it! It's an inanimate object!"
"BUT IT SQUISHES!!"
"It's not alive!"
"IT SQUISHES!!!"
"Put it down, Dragoon!"
"I'm going to kill it."
"No you're not! Put it down! Please!"
"I SAID I'M GOING TO KILL IT!" Then I made a grunting noise, and I looked straight at the thing in my hand, shaking it, "I WANT TO KIIILLLLLL YOU!!!" Saying this enabled my Judgement Algorithm.
Initial results read, "INDIFFERENT. More data required."
So I read the instructions. "Clean sole of shoe before applying. Apply liberally to inside surface. Hold for 15 minutes or until dry."
I continued the algorithm. "INDIFFERENT +2. More data required."
So I read the warning label. "DO NOT INHALE FUMES. IF INGESTED, CONSULT A PHYSICIAN IMMEDIATELY. AVOID CONTACT WITH EYES. IF CONTACT IS MADE WITH EYES, FLUSH EYES WITH WATER IMMEDIATELY, AND CONSULT A PHYSICIAN."
The algorithm finished, and output, "KILL IMMEDIATELY."
"I'm going to kill it, Scejthe," I said.
"Dragoon, no!"
"It's going to DIIIIIE!" So I violently ripped it apart. Then I found myself covered in the stuff, and my first thought was, "It's fighting back!" So I struggled to throw it off of myself. The more I struggled, the more entangled I became. Scejthe screamed.
I leaped into a roll, out into the main aisle, where I made a loud, electronic howling noise, not unlike a fog horn recieving a sudden jolt of power. I beat my chest, and began to rampage, trying to deal with the goo. Scejthe chased after me, but I only ran.
I tripped over a display, and began to roll. By the time it was over with, I'd knocked down six shelves, and broken a refridgerated aisle thing. By the time the security guards approached us, I had calmly taken residence on the ice, which I discovered could cool down the goo enough for me to break it off. I had achieved victory.
I remember when I met Scejthe. As a perogative, I needed to identify her, so that I could assign a death value to her. So I ran up to her and shouted, "I WANT TO KIIIIILLLLLLL YOU!!!" She was rather small, as she still is. I gathered more data, noting that her hair was blueish, and tied up in a bonnet. Dark red garments. As I stood over her, sucking and blowing air in and out of my olfactoral sensor array, she began to cry.
My Judgement Algorithm stopped after six lines of code and told me, "DO NOT KILL!! DO NOT KILL!!" It's kind of rare that I get that sort of reply from the algorithm, so I heeded it immediately.
So I continued, "But I won't. It's nothing personal. I want to kill everything." Then she ran. She was rather scared of me, until I pounded that guy that attacked her. Since then, she doesn't feel safe in certain areas of the city without me. That's why I was with her, that day.
We walked through the park on the way to the Bull's-Eye shopping center, Jolly-Mart's chief competitor. Some young fleshy people were playing with a ball. They were kicking it back and forth. I presume that they were practicing some Go-Go Ball tactics. My Runtime Judgement algorithm read them as "INDIFFERENT" so I ignored them.
Then the ball hit my head. Runtime Judgement Algorithm immediately registered, "KILL," so I immediately killed the ball. I shouted some strange noise, grabbed the ball, tore it in two, and stomped on a few times, before continuing on down the path.
Scejthe grabbed my hand as I stepped around afterward, looking to see if any of it was still moving. "Dragoon!" she said, "It's okay! It's just a ball!"
"But I killed it!"
"Yes... Yes you did. We're all safe from it, now." Then she gestured something at the kids, and they backed off, whistling. I guess she warned them.
After our walk through the park, and after I'd beat a few small rodents with a tree, we got back out to the street, and walked a block to Bull's-Eye. I saw another tube of that shoe goo stuff, and eyed it. Scejthe wasted little time in pushing me forward. As we moved on, I pointed angrily at it, and said, "I'll get you, you little freakish thing. You'll pay. Oh yes, you'll pay. Hrrrmmmm."
Right about then I bumped into something tall and skinny. So I reached out and grabbed it. When I put my face in front of his, I came across a pair of eyes. My sensory equipment did their things. My olfactoral facilities were telling me that there was the distinct smell of engine grease on this fellow. I was also detecting balogna. And Newman flesh. I chose to do an indepth scan. Laser scanning tools ran down his face, giving detailed data on the pale skin my optical devices were identifying.
"I know you." I said.
"You don't say?" he replied.
I took a good strong intake into my olfactoral sensors and said, "You smell like balogna and engine grease."
"Yes, I'm very tall."
I let go of him, and he immediately rubbed his arms where I had ahold of him. He checked his spikey blue hair, and stared blankly at me.
Scejthe asked, "Dragoon, who is this?"
My immediate response was, "Someone that I want to kill. I won't though, because he's my friend."
Crankshaft pulled his finger out of his ear when he realized that Scejthe was there. "Oh, hi!" he said, then offered that same hand to her. Scejthe declined to shake his hand, choosing to curtsey, instead. So I took his hand and shook it vigorously.
Right about then, I saw a short woman with yellow hair step up next to Crankshaft. "You have a small woman with you, too," I said.
Crankshaft nodded, "Yeah, Laya wanted to get some hair curlers, so I volunteered to go with her."
Then the small woman hit Crankshaft on the hip. "YOU talked me into coming here with you to get some sort of clamps, then we were going to get lunch!"
Crankshaft blinked. "Oh yeah, clamps, that's what I was here for," then he wandered off quickly. Laya looked at me, shrugged and followed. I quirked my head. Crankshaft makes Dragoon confused.
So I shouted the first message at him that I could generate, "CONSULT A PHYSICIAN IMMEDIATELY!" Then I stood around for a while, until Scejthe came back to me, carrying a fairly small, dirty cardboard box.
"I found the thing they sent us after," she said. I slowly reached out, put my thumb and index finger on either side of it, lifted it from her hand, then abruptly pulled it back to myself to examine it.
I looked at each side twice, then opened up the box. Inside was a stack of metal plates with 3-millimeter holes in the corners. Further checks confirmed that they were within tolerance limits. I closed the box up, returned it to her and said, "Avoid contact with eyes."
She looked at me funny as she took the box back, and said, "What the heck is THAT supposed to mean?"
To this, I replied most sensibly, "If ingested, consult a physician, immediately."
"Whatever you say, Dragoon. Let's go pay for this and leave."
"Flush eyes with water!"
At the checkout counter, I informed the cashier that I wanted to kill her, but that I would refrain from doing so. We got a discount. On the way out, I snapped and pointed cheerily at the guy in the red vest standing next to the door and said in passing, "I want to kill you!" He declined to check our receipt.
When we got back to the Post-Bortevo building, we were walking down hallways. Some guy said to me, "Hi, Dragoon!"
And I replied, "I want to kill you!"
Then someone else was just, "Good morning, Dragoon!"
And I replied, "I want to kill you, too!"
Then someone said, "Good afternoon, Dragoon!"
So I grabbed him, and yelled, "IT'S NOT THE AFTERNOON! I WANT TO KILL YOU!" Then I put him down and said, "But dont worry, I won't." Scejthe just kinda watched.
Then we found Paladin, and Scejthe presented the bag with the box of bolt plates in it. "Here you go, Sir," she said.
Paladin took them, and examined them. Meanwhile, I was secretly plotting a plan to kill the stuffed Rappy sitting on the computer monitor of the computer in the office we were standing next to. Paladin was saying something. Then he grabbed my shoulder and said, "Dragoon?"
I looked at him and said, "Do not inhale fumes?"
"Right," he said, then continued, "Look, be more careful when you go into stores, okay? There tends to be a lot of people in those places that don't deserve to die, and we may feel the need to send you out on errands again, okay?"
I saluted him and said, "Kill a physician immediately!" Then I thought about what I had just said, and wondered why I said it for a while.
Three hundred beats later, I lowered my arm, and left the building. It was time to kill things. I went to the Hunters' Guild, and after informing the lady behind the counter of my intentions to resist the urge to kill her, I looked over the quest listings. I found one that sparked my interest. "Endless Nightmare #4," it said. The description described a lot of killing, so I took the quest. I was getting excited.
A soldier briefed me. He said, "First of all, don't ask who I am."
So I replied, "Why? Who are you?"
He shook his head and said, "I only want you, hunter, to accomplish this particular quest. Now I'll explain why I want you to do, today."
"Get to the part where I kill things."
"Go down to a specific area in the Ruins. Eliminate the monsters until no more appear. There will be an almost endless stream of monsters, so be careful."
"So you want me to just kill things, right?"
"That's right."
"And you say they'll just keep coming?"
"That's correct."
"They'll just keep coming and coming?"
"An almost endless stream of monsters, yes."
"Because if they don't, I'm going to be very upset."
"Report to me when you defeat all the monsters."
"Okay, but I'm going to kill them."
Then I went down to the Ruins as he requested, and started killing. I threw Dimenians, I threw claws, I threw Delsabers, I broke doors, I used parts of the floor and walls as weapons, and the only thing on my checklist that I was unable to check was the nearly endless stream of monsters. I mean, yeah, there was quite a few, but it just kinda ended after a while. Squish.
So I went back to the soldier, and quite angrily, I yelled, "DO NOT INHALE FUMES! IF INGESTED, CONSULT YOU IMMEDIATELY!! IF CONTACT IS MADE WITH WATER, FLUSH EYES WITH PHYSICIAN AND AVOID INGESTION!"
Then, while he was still bewildered and trying to figure out what just happened, I collected my money from the guild and left. I decided it was time to visit Meira.
I walked up to the nurse behind the desk at the entrance to the hospital. "I want to kill you. I'm here to see Meira Bragwin. Is she still in the same room?"
She looked up at me a little started and said, "Er, you must be Dragoon, aren't you?"
"Consult physician immediately," I said.
"Um, right. Anyway, she's still in the same room, but not for long, she's due to be release in a hundred beats or so."
"Thank you, flush eyes with water."
I walked down the hall a distance, and poked my head into the wrong room. I saw an old man on an oxygen machine, with some serious life-support machines going. "Oh, I'm sorry, wrong room. I want to kill you."
The old man looked at me and said, "Please do."
I replied to him in a mildly angry tone, "Don't tempt me, Old man; 'cause if I do, I won't regret it later."
Then I pulled my head out from that door, wiggled it around a little bit, and walked across the hall to Meira's room. "Sorry, Meira, I just threatened your neighbor across the hall."
"Hi, Dragoon! Don't worry about Mr. Jenkins, he's chronically depressed, and wants to die, anyway."
"Don't tell me that."
Then Zeirom showed up. "Ready to get your stuff packed up, Meira?"
She smiled and nodded rather excitedly. "Yep!" she said, "I'm quite anxious, in fact! I'm gonna get out there and find a way to save Randon!"
Zeirom opened up a closet, pulled out a suitcase and started carefully putting things into it. He stopped when he came to a lacey pair of underwear, with a little nylon bow on the front. He held it up and said, "My my, Meira. I never knew."
She threw a plastic cup at him and yelled, "Oh shush, Zeirom!"
Zeirom seemed to chuckle, and returned to the task he'd been performing. "So did you finish your story?" he asked.
"Yes, I did, actually. I wrote all the way up to when I woke up here."
"Good," he replied. "Now people can read of my strength and heroism!" He posed dramatically, flexing his arms as he said that. Then he returned to packing his things.
"You wrote a story, Meira?" I asked.
"Yeah! I figured that since I had so much time just sitting around in here, I'd use it to recount how I got here," she replied.
"Oooohhh, do not inhale fumes!" I proclaimed. And that is how I was inspired to write this.
[End log]
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<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: HUnewearl_Meira on 2004-04-06 15:11 ]</font>
So, anyway, you guys asked for it, so here it is. The Recollection of Dragoon!
EDIT: How'd I forget the "FanFic:" tag?
Enjoy, folks!
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[Initializing Logger]
[Please Wait...]
Hey, **** you, I don't want to wait.
[Logger initialized.]
[File Name?: DRAGOON-01.KILLYOUNOW.LOG]
[Filespace allocated.]
[Beginning Log]
It jiggles when I poke it. I will poke it again. Poke. Poke poke poke.
[End Log]
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....
[Logger re-initialized.]
[Append mode.]
[File Name?: DRAGOON-01.KILLYOUNOW.LOG]
[File opened.]
[Beginning Log]
I had a tragic battle with a tube of shoe goo, that morning. I looked at it, and it angered me. I saw it, and wanted to read its directions label, but even though the tube was made of some sort of aluminum alloy, the contents made it squishy. I had to kill it. So I did. I am now banned from Jolly-Marts all over the city. I did manage to pick off most of the merchandice that got stuck to me, however. I believe there's still a box of plastic spoons stuck to my back, however. BUT DANGIT, THAT TUBE OF GOO WAS ASKING FOR IT!! Grrr.
I think Scejthe is mad at me. She's banned now, too. Actually, I'm a little annoyed at her, myself. Every time we came near the pet section, she started pushing me away from it. I ONLY WANTED TO LOOK AT THE FISHIES!! THE FISHIES! Fishies. I mean really, you strangle a stray dog ONCE and all of a sudden the world thinks you're incapable of looking at fishies.
We were in the miscellaneous repair section. "What's this?" I said, as I looked at a fat, metal tube. It said "Shoe goo". "Shoooo... Gooo?" I said. I was intrigued. It was goo for shoes! What a marvel!
I picked it up, and Scejthe immediately told me, "Please put it down, Dragoon! You're going to get us in trouble. Let's just get the bolt plate thingies and go."
I ignored her, and picked it up, anyway. As I lifted it, I realized that not only was it a metal tube, but it was filled with something squishy! SQUISHY!! I started to get excited. I was starting to feel overwhelmed with the joy of knowing that there was something squishy in the middle of this aluminum construct! "Scejthe!!" I yelled, "IT SQUISHES!!"
"Please, Dragoon! Put it down before you get us in trouble," she said. Ha. Put it down, indeed.
"But... I want to kill it, Scejthe," I replied.
"Dragoon, you can't kill it! It's an inanimate object!"
"BUT IT SQUISHES!!"
"It's not alive!"
"IT SQUISHES!!!"
"Put it down, Dragoon!"
"I'm going to kill it."
"No you're not! Put it down! Please!"
"I SAID I'M GOING TO KILL IT!" Then I made a grunting noise, and I looked straight at the thing in my hand, shaking it, "I WANT TO KIIILLLLLL YOU!!!" Saying this enabled my Judgement Algorithm.
Initial results read, "INDIFFERENT. More data required."
So I read the instructions. "Clean sole of shoe before applying. Apply liberally to inside surface. Hold for 15 minutes or until dry."
I continued the algorithm. "INDIFFERENT +2. More data required."
So I read the warning label. "DO NOT INHALE FUMES. IF INGESTED, CONSULT A PHYSICIAN IMMEDIATELY. AVOID CONTACT WITH EYES. IF CONTACT IS MADE WITH EYES, FLUSH EYES WITH WATER IMMEDIATELY, AND CONSULT A PHYSICIAN."
The algorithm finished, and output, "KILL IMMEDIATELY."
"I'm going to kill it, Scejthe," I said.
"Dragoon, no!"
"It's going to DIIIIIE!" So I violently ripped it apart. Then I found myself covered in the stuff, and my first thought was, "It's fighting back!" So I struggled to throw it off of myself. The more I struggled, the more entangled I became. Scejthe screamed.
I leaped into a roll, out into the main aisle, where I made a loud, electronic howling noise, not unlike a fog horn recieving a sudden jolt of power. I beat my chest, and began to rampage, trying to deal with the goo. Scejthe chased after me, but I only ran.
I tripped over a display, and began to roll. By the time it was over with, I'd knocked down six shelves, and broken a refridgerated aisle thing. By the time the security guards approached us, I had calmly taken residence on the ice, which I discovered could cool down the goo enough for me to break it off. I had achieved victory.
I remember when I met Scejthe. As a perogative, I needed to identify her, so that I could assign a death value to her. So I ran up to her and shouted, "I WANT TO KIIIIILLLLLLL YOU!!!" She was rather small, as she still is. I gathered more data, noting that her hair was blueish, and tied up in a bonnet. Dark red garments. As I stood over her, sucking and blowing air in and out of my olfactoral sensor array, she began to cry.
My Judgement Algorithm stopped after six lines of code and told me, "DO NOT KILL!! DO NOT KILL!!" It's kind of rare that I get that sort of reply from the algorithm, so I heeded it immediately.
So I continued, "But I won't. It's nothing personal. I want to kill everything." Then she ran. She was rather scared of me, until I pounded that guy that attacked her. Since then, she doesn't feel safe in certain areas of the city without me. That's why I was with her, that day.
We walked through the park on the way to the Bull's-Eye shopping center, Jolly-Mart's chief competitor. Some young fleshy people were playing with a ball. They were kicking it back and forth. I presume that they were practicing some Go-Go Ball tactics. My Runtime Judgement algorithm read them as "INDIFFERENT" so I ignored them.
Then the ball hit my head. Runtime Judgement Algorithm immediately registered, "KILL," so I immediately killed the ball. I shouted some strange noise, grabbed the ball, tore it in two, and stomped on a few times, before continuing on down the path.
Scejthe grabbed my hand as I stepped around afterward, looking to see if any of it was still moving. "Dragoon!" she said, "It's okay! It's just a ball!"
"But I killed it!"
"Yes... Yes you did. We're all safe from it, now." Then she gestured something at the kids, and they backed off, whistling. I guess she warned them.
After our walk through the park, and after I'd beat a few small rodents with a tree, we got back out to the street, and walked a block to Bull's-Eye. I saw another tube of that shoe goo stuff, and eyed it. Scejthe wasted little time in pushing me forward. As we moved on, I pointed angrily at it, and said, "I'll get you, you little freakish thing. You'll pay. Oh yes, you'll pay. Hrrrmmmm."
Right about then I bumped into something tall and skinny. So I reached out and grabbed it. When I put my face in front of his, I came across a pair of eyes. My sensory equipment did their things. My olfactoral facilities were telling me that there was the distinct smell of engine grease on this fellow. I was also detecting balogna. And Newman flesh. I chose to do an indepth scan. Laser scanning tools ran down his face, giving detailed data on the pale skin my optical devices were identifying.
"I know you." I said.
"You don't say?" he replied.
I took a good strong intake into my olfactoral sensors and said, "You smell like balogna and engine grease."
"Yes, I'm very tall."
I let go of him, and he immediately rubbed his arms where I had ahold of him. He checked his spikey blue hair, and stared blankly at me.
Scejthe asked, "Dragoon, who is this?"
My immediate response was, "Someone that I want to kill. I won't though, because he's my friend."
Crankshaft pulled his finger out of his ear when he realized that Scejthe was there. "Oh, hi!" he said, then offered that same hand to her. Scejthe declined to shake his hand, choosing to curtsey, instead. So I took his hand and shook it vigorously.
Right about then, I saw a short woman with yellow hair step up next to Crankshaft. "You have a small woman with you, too," I said.
Crankshaft nodded, "Yeah, Laya wanted to get some hair curlers, so I volunteered to go with her."
Then the small woman hit Crankshaft on the hip. "YOU talked me into coming here with you to get some sort of clamps, then we were going to get lunch!"
Crankshaft blinked. "Oh yeah, clamps, that's what I was here for," then he wandered off quickly. Laya looked at me, shrugged and followed. I quirked my head. Crankshaft makes Dragoon confused.
So I shouted the first message at him that I could generate, "CONSULT A PHYSICIAN IMMEDIATELY!" Then I stood around for a while, until Scejthe came back to me, carrying a fairly small, dirty cardboard box.
"I found the thing they sent us after," she said. I slowly reached out, put my thumb and index finger on either side of it, lifted it from her hand, then abruptly pulled it back to myself to examine it.
I looked at each side twice, then opened up the box. Inside was a stack of metal plates with 3-millimeter holes in the corners. Further checks confirmed that they were within tolerance limits. I closed the box up, returned it to her and said, "Avoid contact with eyes."
She looked at me funny as she took the box back, and said, "What the heck is THAT supposed to mean?"
To this, I replied most sensibly, "If ingested, consult a physician, immediately."
"Whatever you say, Dragoon. Let's go pay for this and leave."
"Flush eyes with water!"
At the checkout counter, I informed the cashier that I wanted to kill her, but that I would refrain from doing so. We got a discount. On the way out, I snapped and pointed cheerily at the guy in the red vest standing next to the door and said in passing, "I want to kill you!" He declined to check our receipt.
When we got back to the Post-Bortevo building, we were walking down hallways. Some guy said to me, "Hi, Dragoon!"
And I replied, "I want to kill you!"
Then someone else was just, "Good morning, Dragoon!"
And I replied, "I want to kill you, too!"
Then someone said, "Good afternoon, Dragoon!"
So I grabbed him, and yelled, "IT'S NOT THE AFTERNOON! I WANT TO KILL YOU!" Then I put him down and said, "But dont worry, I won't." Scejthe just kinda watched.
Then we found Paladin, and Scejthe presented the bag with the box of bolt plates in it. "Here you go, Sir," she said.
Paladin took them, and examined them. Meanwhile, I was secretly plotting a plan to kill the stuffed Rappy sitting on the computer monitor of the computer in the office we were standing next to. Paladin was saying something. Then he grabbed my shoulder and said, "Dragoon?"
I looked at him and said, "Do not inhale fumes?"
"Right," he said, then continued, "Look, be more careful when you go into stores, okay? There tends to be a lot of people in those places that don't deserve to die, and we may feel the need to send you out on errands again, okay?"
I saluted him and said, "Kill a physician immediately!" Then I thought about what I had just said, and wondered why I said it for a while.
Three hundred beats later, I lowered my arm, and left the building. It was time to kill things. I went to the Hunters' Guild, and after informing the lady behind the counter of my intentions to resist the urge to kill her, I looked over the quest listings. I found one that sparked my interest. "Endless Nightmare #4," it said. The description described a lot of killing, so I took the quest. I was getting excited.
A soldier briefed me. He said, "First of all, don't ask who I am."
So I replied, "Why? Who are you?"
He shook his head and said, "I only want you, hunter, to accomplish this particular quest. Now I'll explain why I want you to do, today."
"Get to the part where I kill things."
"Go down to a specific area in the Ruins. Eliminate the monsters until no more appear. There will be an almost endless stream of monsters, so be careful."
"So you want me to just kill things, right?"
"That's right."
"And you say they'll just keep coming?"
"That's correct."
"They'll just keep coming and coming?"
"An almost endless stream of monsters, yes."
"Because if they don't, I'm going to be very upset."
"Report to me when you defeat all the monsters."
"Okay, but I'm going to kill them."
Then I went down to the Ruins as he requested, and started killing. I threw Dimenians, I threw claws, I threw Delsabers, I broke doors, I used parts of the floor and walls as weapons, and the only thing on my checklist that I was unable to check was the nearly endless stream of monsters. I mean, yeah, there was quite a few, but it just kinda ended after a while. Squish.
So I went back to the soldier, and quite angrily, I yelled, "DO NOT INHALE FUMES! IF INGESTED, CONSULT YOU IMMEDIATELY!! IF CONTACT IS MADE WITH WATER, FLUSH EYES WITH PHYSICIAN AND AVOID INGESTION!"
Then, while he was still bewildered and trying to figure out what just happened, I collected my money from the guild and left. I decided it was time to visit Meira.
I walked up to the nurse behind the desk at the entrance to the hospital. "I want to kill you. I'm here to see Meira Bragwin. Is she still in the same room?"
She looked up at me a little started and said, "Er, you must be Dragoon, aren't you?"
"Consult physician immediately," I said.
"Um, right. Anyway, she's still in the same room, but not for long, she's due to be release in a hundred beats or so."
"Thank you, flush eyes with water."
I walked down the hall a distance, and poked my head into the wrong room. I saw an old man on an oxygen machine, with some serious life-support machines going. "Oh, I'm sorry, wrong room. I want to kill you."
The old man looked at me and said, "Please do."
I replied to him in a mildly angry tone, "Don't tempt me, Old man; 'cause if I do, I won't regret it later."
Then I pulled my head out from that door, wiggled it around a little bit, and walked across the hall to Meira's room. "Sorry, Meira, I just threatened your neighbor across the hall."
"Hi, Dragoon! Don't worry about Mr. Jenkins, he's chronically depressed, and wants to die, anyway."
"Don't tell me that."
Then Zeirom showed up. "Ready to get your stuff packed up, Meira?"
She smiled and nodded rather excitedly. "Yep!" she said, "I'm quite anxious, in fact! I'm gonna get out there and find a way to save Randon!"
Zeirom opened up a closet, pulled out a suitcase and started carefully putting things into it. He stopped when he came to a lacey pair of underwear, with a little nylon bow on the front. He held it up and said, "My my, Meira. I never knew."
She threw a plastic cup at him and yelled, "Oh shush, Zeirom!"
Zeirom seemed to chuckle, and returned to the task he'd been performing. "So did you finish your story?" he asked.
"Yes, I did, actually. I wrote all the way up to when I woke up here."
"Good," he replied. "Now people can read of my strength and heroism!" He posed dramatically, flexing his arms as he said that. Then he returned to packing his things.
"You wrote a story, Meira?" I asked.
"Yeah! I figured that since I had so much time just sitting around in here, I'd use it to recount how I got here," she replied.
"Oooohhh, do not inhale fumes!" I proclaimed. And that is how I was inspired to write this.
[End log]
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<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: HUnewearl_Meira on 2004-04-06 15:11 ]</font>