Touch in conversation: what i did at 3am and whats do at 8am

[Cowboy]

I decided to see just how strongly touch influences people's reactions to you in a conversation.

I used my relatives as guinea pigs:

Andy, 26 years old, Male, Cousin: I decided to put my hand on his thigh.

Me: "So, what's the plan for today?"

Andy: "well, we need to go over to keystone and out out co... hey, what the heck are you doing?"

Me: "What?"

Andy: "Get you hand away from me before I hit you."

James, 12, Male, Brother: I decided to rub his back.

Me: "So, how was practice?"

James. "It was good."

Me: "Cool, what didya do?"

James: "Well we ran laps, practiced pitching, and.. eww! What are you, gay?!"

One common thing I noticed from both subjects is that I made them feel extremely

uncomfotable. I did not write the entire conversation, but my touching was usually followed by sexually

steryotypical remarks meant to demean my masculinity. I feel, however, that they felt threatened by

my physical contact bacause they were not accustomed to it. Wen andy's girlfriend touches his thigh,

he smiles. Maybe If I were to repeat this action more, he would grow accustomed to it, and accept it?

This action did not make me feel closer. In each instance, it made me feel shunned, unloved, and

out of place.This resulted in a lack of communication, therefore completely defeating the purpose of

talking to begin with.I will continue to use touch morre often to see if the results change

[navci]

Actually. Once on the streets, I was trying to dragged my bro away from a movie that was playing in radioshack because I was hungry and I really wanted to get dinner. I pulled on his arm.

Then he promptly swing his arm so I will let go of his, and proceeded to yell at me "What the hell are you doing?!"
I said, "Well I wanted to drag you away from that TV."
He said, "You could have pushed instead."
I got a bit angry, and said, "Hey, no one wants to hold your hand. And, what does it matter?"

I don't know. Teenage boys are so ... easy to anger.

[_Ted_]

On 2004-04-15 00:46, Cowboy-Duggie wrote:
I decided to see just how strongly touch influences people's reactions to you in a conversation.

I used my relatives as guinea pigs:

Andy, 26 years old, Male, Cousin: I decided to put my hand on his thigh.

Me: "So, what's the plan for today?"

Andy: "well, we need to go over to keystone and out out co... hey, what the heck are you doing?"

Me: "What?"

Andy: "Get you hand away from me before I hit you."

James, 12, Male, Brother: I decided to rub his back.

Me: "So, how was practice?"

James. "It was good."

Me: "Cool, what didya do?"

James: "Well we ran laps, practiced pitching, and.. eww! What are you, gay?!"

One common thing I noticed from both subjects is that I made them feel extremely

uncomfotable. I did not write the entire conversation, but my touching was usually followed by sexually

steryotypical remarks meant to demean my masculinity. I feel, however, that they felt threatened by

my physical contact bacause they were not accustomed to it. Wen andy's girlfriend touches his thigh,

he smiles. Maybe If I were to repeat this action more, he would grow accustomed to it, and accept it?

This action did not make me feel closer. In each instance, it made me feel shunned, unloved, and

out of place.This resulted in a lack of communication, therefore completely defeating the purpose of

talking to begin with.I will continue to use touch morre often to see if the results change



I feel so sorry for your relatives.

[Scejntjynahl]

My suggestion is try and touching the shoulder. That area seems to be neutral as far as I know. No one feels threatened when the shoulder is the focus of a physical contact.

Also, use a firm grip, and dont rub or caress, the minute you do most ppl will feel ackward towards it.

And navi, your bro is an idiot, enough said.

[HUnewearl_Meira]

Next time, try using your fist.

[Nai_Calus]

Yeah, guys don't mind touching, as long as you beat the shit out of them. Then it's manly.

[Evil_Althena8]

ew....why did it have to be on family members?

[ABDUR101]

Some people have their own "private space" which they don't like being invaded, and others are just insecure and then others don't know how to actually take certain kinds of touching by certain people.

[Allos]

On 2004-04-15 00:56, navi wrote:


I don't know. Teenage boys are so ... easy to anger.





WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN??? http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_argh.gif





http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wink.gif

[Cowboy]

On 2004-04-15 16:11, Evil_Althena8 wrote:
ew....why did it have to be on family members?



Try rubbing a complete strangers shoulder.

[Cowboy]

It's perfectly alright to let a 40 year old man who has been accused of child molestation, puts masks on his childrens faces, and has held his baby out a window sleep in the same bed as your child, in his house, away from you.

[Sef]

Well...Yeah.

[navci]

People are so insecure. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_confused.gif

[Cowboy]

We should all be nudists.

[Scejntjynahl]

Only after we all exercise and have awesome bodies, but before then....EWWWWWW

[Cowboy]

On 2004-04-15 19:35, navi wrote:
People are so insecure. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_confused.gif