... becoming friends

[anwserman]

This is a really, really stupid rant but it is one regardless.

Why in the hell do I feel so ackward when it comes to meeting new people, especially people that I somewhat already know (acquaintence-wise)?

Case in point, this guy I know - Nathan. We've talked a little bit, and he seems like a nice person and I want to try to get to know him better, or become friends. Right now, its more of a "talk to each other when we run into each other" type situation, and all I want to do is become friends. But, I feel so ackward... I don't know why though.

Is it typical to feel strange when trying to know someone better? Hell, it worked great with Mitch and I know good things can come out of such things. He works tomorrow at the movie store, but unfortunately I went to the store tonight and I'd feel dumb going back. Especially when I rented games for a week.

... just needed to get that off my chest. Any suggestions... please?



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: anwserman on 2004-05-31 19:12 ]</font>

[kingmurp]

Funny, I'm going through the same thing also. As for your question I say that you shouldn't spend to much time worrying about how they will react. Good people will come around to your charms and quirks. That getting to know someone phase is what makes meeting a new person all the more fun.

[Armok]

Anwserman this kind of responce is not one of someone who wants to be just friends with someone.

I think rather than delibratly trying to run into him you should forget about it and just talk when you do randomly meet in the street and at parties. Trying to force an issue/friendship aint gonna work.

[anwserman]

...

Beg pardon?
Ok then, how else am I supposed to get to know him other then putting effort into it? If college was here and if we had a common class, then I could see a friendship working out nice. However, friendships cannot exactly develop when you see each other only once every couple weeks, if even that.

Comprehende?

[navci]

I understand the feeling. Sometimes you can see potential in a maybe friendship but because you don't get to meet the person as often the friendship never happened. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_frown.gif

Yes you have to put in effort in that case. Chances are too rare, you kinda have to make a situation where you guys would be able to sit down and talk and get to know each other. Once you get to know each other better and can call yourselves friends, then it should go along just fine. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_smile.gif

So. Er, my point is, it's okay that you're putting in effort. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_smile.gif And it's normal to feel frustrated when things don't go the way you planned. Take your time. Don't lose your patience. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

edit:
I also want to add that, in responce to the two other posters in the thread. For the 4 long years of my uni life, I didn't put too much effort into making chance happen and just let whatever happen happen.... in the end I made 1 friend. :/ I go to uni full time for 4 years and took a dozen of classes and all those stuff, 1 single friend. This is what you get if you don't try and don't care. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_frown.gif



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: navi on 2004-06-01 12:11 ]</font>

[Armok]

On 2004-06-01 08:36, anwserman wrote:
...

Beg pardon?
Ok then, how else am I supposed to get to know him other then putting effort into it? If college was here and if we had a common class, then I could see a friendship working out nice. However, friendships cannot exactly develop when you see each other only once every couple weeks, if even that.

Comprehende?



No you are missing my point there.

You have singled this one person out for what you say is friendship.

Now in my experience when you single one person from of a number of casual aquatents and want to see them again it generally isnt because you want to just be their friend.

[Sord]

Same thing here, boy or girl, black or white. Just walking up to a person that's an aquaintence and saying "Hey, you wanna hang at the mall?" out of nowhere just seems plane akward. Then when you try to work it into a conversation, it never seems the right time and never gets said. I don't really know what to do here, I just letting you know it does happen to others. Hopefully more hten just us PSOWers http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_smile.gif

[anwserman]

On 2004-06-01 12:45, Armok wrote:


On 2004-06-01 08:36, anwserman wrote:
...

Beg pardon?
Ok then, how else am I supposed to get to know him other then putting effort into it? If college was here and if we had a common class, then I could see a friendship working out nice. However, friendships cannot exactly develop when you see each other only once every couple weeks, if even that.

Comprehende?



No you are missing my point there.

You have singled this one person out for what you say is friendship.

Now in my experience when you single one person from of a number of casual aquatents and want to see them again it generally isnt because you want to just be their friend.




For what I say as friendship?
I want to develop it further into a friendship, thats all... we're just casual acquaintences (as you said in your own post) but I do want to develop it into a friendship, and that is what I was ranting about... it can be frustrating at times.

Meh.

[navci]

Well Armok. Even on first meeting, there are people you want to be friends more than others. When you feel like you want to be friends with this particular person more than other people, you might want to take action and make effort revolving around said person, right? http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_smile.gif

[DarthFomar]

I'd say start talking to him more....start hangin out more....but I really don't know anything about the situation. Most of my friends shared a common ground so that's how we even became friends in the first place. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wacko.gif

I've never really tried to make friends before...it just sorta kicks in....naturally I guess. Let destiny run it's course...if you aren't meant to be friends then....oh well. No spilled milk to cry about, right?!



Now, for me, if this was a girl....it would be a completely different story, cuz then I'd have to force myself to talk to her/hang out whatever.

It would have to grow naturally/unnaturally....it's a balance of letting the force of nature flow and going against the will of nature itself....but, it could really depend on the whole situation I guess. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_confused.gif

I dunno what else to say.....blah. My brain just fried. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wacko.gif

[Solstis]

(*Gets dizzy from the Jetlag*)

Ugh.

Anyway, do you have reservations because you don't want to get too close?

Or are you trying to make a great friendship but find yourself unable to b/c of time contraints.

Either way, I've never heard of anyone becoming good friends by not doing anything.

[Wyndham]

ve got 1 friend right now, thats it.
dont be me.
talk to the person.

[Shammed]

Have you considered prescription Zoloft?

[Wyndham]

On 2004-06-07 19:58, Shammed wrote:
Have you considered prescription Zoloft?



*runs in stabbing little round guy on commercial*
DIEEEE!!
being a psycho doesn't help ether.