Friggin' Ricer Civic's!!!

[LollipopLolita]

All right, this one finally set me over the edge. On my 7 am commute this morning, I'm sharing the road with a 1999 honda civic. Let me tell you a little about this civic. It was bright orange. It had a big wing on the back, an exhaust pipe wide enough for me to put my arm up it, bass so loud MY windows shook, and it scraped the ground every time it went over a bump.

Here's what I see wrong with this picture:

1). The color - I'm sorry, but if I drove a honda civic, I wouldn't be drawing attention to myself. Not that there's anything wrong with a civic... it's a very economical, fuel effecient car. It's sure better than walking. It's just not a car that I find particularily impressing. If you had a bright orange Maserati, I can understand. But a civic?

And the stickers - I bet you got an extra 10 horsepower just by sticking on that "NOS" sticker. (And btw.. it was painfully obvious you don't have a nitrous system, so stop fooling yourself). Oh, and an irish kid from southie shouldn't have asian characters on his car.

2). The spoiler on the back - That huge spoiler must produce a ton of down-force. That would make for some awesome traction except for the fact that YOUR CAR IS FRONT WHEEL DRIVE. Why are you putting down force YOUR REAR WHEELS if YOUR CAR IS FRONT WHEEL DRIVE?

Has anybody here ever stood on their rear bumper? What's that do? It pushes the back of the car down, and the front of the car UP. So by putting all of that downforce behind your rear axle, you're adding lift to the front, thereby reducing your traction. Moron.

3). The exhaust pipe - It's great that you have a high-flow exhaust and all, but let's remind ourselves what you're driving: A 1999 honda civic. Cute little 4-banger. Everyone screams about power-to-weight ratio! Power-to-weight ratio! Well, when your engine is so small it weighs almost nothing, you get almost no power. Your 1.6L engine is rated at 127 horse-power and just over 100 lb-ft of torque at redline. For those of you who don't know cars, those aren't very impressive numbers. My 99 cent bottle of Coke has better displacement than your engine.

Anyway, back to the exhaust. It's great that you can get an extra 10 horsepower by bolting on a sewer pipe in leiu of a muffler. But guess what? 127 horsepower + 10 horsepower = still a shitty engine. And now your car sounds like a chainsaw on acid.

4). The bass - I refuse to say "your music was so loud..." because what you were listening to was not music. What you were listening to was percussion accompanying a man shouting obscenities in ebonics into a microphone. And why do you need to play it so loud that early in the morning? There's children trying to sleep. Maybe you were trying to drown out that annoying lawnmower note coming from your exhaust?

5). How low can you go - And don't even get me started on your body kit and your suspension drop. Although, it did make me smile when I saw that the front of your "bumper" was all cracked and scraped from every time you have to cross the T tracks on Comm. Ave.

In conclusion - It doesn't matter what color paint, how big your exhaust pipe is, or how much plastic you bolt/glue or duct tape to the sides of your car, you're still driving a honda civic. You can't hide from this fact. So peel the little plastic things off of your windshield wipers, and just drive your car for what it is...


PLEASE NOTE: This post is not a rant against drivers of honda civics. As I said in item 1, civics are very nice cars. They are dependable, fuel-efficient, and easy to park. My brother had a civic when he was in high school. It was a very nice car. This is a rant against people who think they can make a honda civic more than a honda civic. That is all. Thank you, and good night!



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: LollipopLolita on 2004-07-27 01:41 ]</font>

[Zzzzzz]

Yeha, I've seen those type of cars before.
The type that tries to make the driver seem more "cooler" so s/he can pick up 18-year-old hitchhickers just by adding stuff that draws attention. Seriously, it seems like it would make people want to avoid you in the end.


Ugh, I makes no sence. Tired...

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Zzzzzz on 2004-07-27 01:50 ]</font>

[digigram]

pure genius lolli.. You know, I deal with this crap every single day.

I have lived in 2 places where they are EVERYWHERE.

Seattle and San Diego.

Both of which, I might add, have an asian community of civic drivers that ACTUALLY think they are fast cars. Sure, there are some things one can do to a civic to make it faster, like, tear out the engine. Give me a break. Spend that kind of money on a fast car, not an economy car that would end up having its parts replaced with things that cost more than the cars total to begin with.


I gotta tell you about something I saw once on a civic.
Not the hatchback, but the civic sedan..

Someone put the spoiler on backwards.. the only way they'd get any traction off that is if they were going in reverse at 90 MPH.


ha.





<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: digigram on 2004-07-27 02:38 ]</font>

[KaFKa]

On 2004-07-27 02:37, digigram wrote:
Someone put the spoiler on backwards.

i had to figure that one out in my head, how the fuck someone could do that is beyond me...

and seriously, if you want something that'll do the same thing fot about the same price, get a lancer, or a celica, or SOMETHING with actual power to it...

[Ness]

I once was this old car with a wooden spoiler on it. The colors of the spoiler were ugly andd matched the car in no way. It was both sad and funny. How they got it to stay on was a msytery tome.



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Ness on 2004-07-27 05:30 ]</font>

[Hrith]

Actually, I can hardly imagine a worse place for those morons than south of France (between Marseilles and Nice) and North of Italy (around Milan), really, you gotta see it, people do tuning on Renault Express -_-, since I assume most of you aren't familiar with French cars, here is the pic:

http://www.citelec.org/exp93.jpg

Granted they're rare, but still...

[space_butler]

in worthing we dont have honda civics like that, its worse! vauxhall novas or peruogt 205's are about it for the 'rude boy cars'. all they have as mods are 4 inch tailpipes (that detune the engine) usually alloy wheels and sometimes they even get neon lights under the car. and who needs lower suspension when you can put a bag of cement in the boot?

[Solstis]

My civic has a spoiler on it... I don't even know why. It wasn't my idea... but nooo.

Anyway, I refuse to do ANYTHING to my car. Heck, I rarely clean much, so you won't be seeing a massive exhaust on that sucker.

And yes, I love being able to park in almost any parking space, often without even really judging the distance. And gas? What's gas? Oh yeah, I put some in about a week and a half ago. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

(whew, page not found error)

[Scejntjynahl]

On 2004-07-27 01:40, LollipopLolita wrote:
All right, this one finally set me over the edge. On my 7 am commute this morning, I'm sharing the road with a 1999 honda civic. Let me tell you a little about this civic. It was bright orange. It had a big wing on the back, an exhaust pipe wide enough for me to put my arm up it, bass so loud MY windows shook, and it scraped the ground every time it went over a bump.

Oh, and an irish kid from southie shouldn't have asian characters on his car.



Awesome points Lolli, but this one kind of, uhm, surprised me. Not because it doesnt make sense or anything. But because I was planning of doing something like that to my Nissan SER 2002. But now I dont know, you brought up something I havent thought about.

I have avoided "fixing" my car to be considered in any way to be meant for street racing. I live in San Diego, and as it is, I get "raced" by said Civic and such. They pull up next to me, rev up, give me a dirty look. Green Light, and off they go... while I stay behind just looking at them go.

But I am very fond of the Japanese language for various reasons, hence my desire to add some kind of Kanji to my car, but now Im doubting doing it after your observation. As I am not from oriental nor asiatic lineage, I dont want to look the fool like you mentioned.

http://www.buysell.com/userphotos/0001155682/10420021510.jpg

By the way, the reason I picked this car is because Ive always had Nissan's, and always red for some reason. I picked four door, so insurance cost will be lowered... its considered a family car if its four doors =/. Albeit, my engine is a little stronger than the Civic you mentioned Lolli, exactly how much I am not sure, all I know that its 2.5L. As stated before, its all stock parts, don't want to be considered a racer of any kind.

[KodiaX987]

I installed a spoiler on my Jeep yesterday. It kicks ass.


http://www.geocities.com/psowstats/WTF/jeepy.txt

[SpikeOtacon]

Oh yeah? Well my car beats your car any day, kodia! http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wacko.gif
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v43/KamakaziSpike/ducttaperacer.jpg

[HUnewearl_Meira]

All I'm going to say, is that my truck (White 1990 Chevrolet Silverado K1500 Z71) once took on an SUV and won, hands-down ($4,000 worth of damage VS. $50 worth of damage, oh yeah). Wish I had some pictures of it...


Anyway...

You should see the lemon-yellow, modified Civics lined up outside the Carl's Jr. on Olive Avenue in Merced. It's like EVERYONE in the evening crew for that particular fast food drives one. It's as though they try to line them up by year, too. 1998, 1999, 2000... There's gotta be 3 or 4 of them, at least. It never made any sense to me, either.

[astuarlen]

You're right about the orange, Lolli. I would have gone for bright pink myself. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wacko.gif I suppose lime-green or yellow would do...

[DruidMettool]

I'm staying off the roads in your area, Lolli. And probably out of your car too.

There's some damn stupid people on the roads these days.

[Aredhel]

http://www.weaselcircus.com/funnypics/great_paint_job.jpg

http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

Makes me kind of want a van...

But really, how much crap can some people glue to their car? It should be illegal to stick Nike decals to your low-riding pick-up truck. I'll not get into racial differences here, but if you know what I mean, then maybe there's some truth to it...

[AUTO_]

Where I live, the jetters come out in full force at night, parking at closed shops to show off their bitchin' rides.

...which are mainly Civics.


Side Note: Lolli will you marry me?

[digigram]

I personally like the peugeot 205's ... space butler.. yes yes, i understand that since I am in the US we don't get those, which is precisely the reason I like them..

The same goes for those strange ass BMW town bike/car things with the bubbleish window... The US gets really ugly cars... the only hatchback out here I personally think is at least someone nice (nice as in cool), is the new year model toyota matrix and the mazda 3, i think it's the 3... not sure.. yeah..it is.. just looked at mazda's site.

I basically like any hatchback style car that has a rally counterpart.

Ford focus, toyota echo (which out of the US is called vitz), mazda 3, matrix, erm.. all of these i like.. I don't like the civics though.

I haven't seen any of the peugeot hatchbacks in real life, I generally see sedans in the US that people have imported... (don't ask why)

and doesn't renault have a newer car that is fairly nice, really small though.. something along the lines of like 200-300 HP? stock turbo. I forget.


AUTO_ : it's really strange that on a site like this for such a game, there are people that even have the slightest clue who ATDI and mars volta are.

amazing


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: digigram on 2004-07-27 14:08 ]</font>

[KodiaX987]

What about Honda CR-X? I thought it was the prettiest hatchback ever invented and put on Earth! ^_^

[digigram]

oh shiz... I didn't even remember to tell you guys about how I almost died because of one of these F'ing civics..


I'm an electronic musician/sound designer, and at the time was living in seattle. Got a call from a promoter in portland (158 miles away) asking me to come down in the beginning of february to perform live.. I said ok.. and that was the plan..

Day of. I had to ship a sampler that I had sold o ebay but was running totally late, so I busted ass to the (what now is the UPS store) MBE, and shipped it off, damn thing costed 45$ to ship and I even packed it.... it didn't weigh that much... .ANYHOW.. I was running late...wanted to get that done and JAMMMMM.

6:00 pm (3 hours later than I wanted to be gone), and was still at home gathering my stuff up to go in a hasty fashion and left.

7:00 pm on the road but only in tacoma (35-40 miles south of seattle) so I was essentially driving sluggish even though I was going 70 mph.

8:00 pm around this time is where the fun begins. About 10 miles south of tacoma it starts raining like a bitch, and I mean RAIIIINNNNNINNNNNNNGGGG, imagine taking a shower and sticking your head in the rush of the water and opening your eyes... can't see shit right.. so I start going 50 instead of the 75 limit.

8:20 pm or so. nearing COWLITZ county, piece of shit redneck know nothing retirement for game hunters vietnam vets with half their brains blown off coke dealing 18 yr old white wannabe eminem rip-offs with daddy and mommy's money to do what to their cars........... trick out 2000$ civic into 8000$ pie ces of 130 hp crap that my stock suzuki sikekick 16v could out-run.

needless to say I was entering a county that was stuck in perpetual last call.

So, driving. middle lane. freeway. ----------------->

Black ultra lowered and ground effects with neon civic is coming up behind me, yes, it's fairly funny how you can't see the god damned road but you can see a disco ball on wheels coming up behind you at like 75 mph.

Gets up next to me, they are in the left lane, i was driving VERY carefully trying to feel every puddle and movement of the water around NEW TIRES!!!!!! so, they are going around my speed now, me 50-55, they were going about 60-65, and they completely cut me off, I don't know if it was that they needed to get to the next exit immediately or what, you know why I don't know?

Because as they did that, I put on the brakes just for a second to avoid them and instinctively tried to go into the right lane, well..........................................

I hydroplane and spin out several times until I hit a guard rail that is keeping me just barely from dropping 20-30 feet into a gully.

my car was smashed up, my laptop flew from the passenger seat and into the floor board. left front fender was smashed in so that I couldn't turn my wheel (later fixed with a crowbar by towing guy http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_razz.gif) and I needed to be in portland which was about 50 miles away..

Either way I made it to portland, played my show, got paid Just enough to pay for the towing charge (because the cop wouldn't let me and my friend wait for AAA to show up, asshole) and got my spare tire on, drove home from cowlitz county with my car totally Fuctdup......

hurray for civics.



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: digigram on 2004-07-27 14:27 ]</font>

[AUTO_]

On 2004-07-27 14:06, digigram wrote:
AUTO_ : it's really strange that on a site like this for such a game, there are people that even have the slightest clue who ATDI and mars volta are.

amazing


You've just earned this many ************** gold stars.

[Subliminalgroove]

I always wanted to sneak around a highschool parking lot with a bag full of Nerf footballs and for every lame riced up car I see, a football get pushed up into its fart tube.

[GothicAngel]

On 2004-07-27 14:40, Subliminalgroove wrote:
I always wanted to sneak around a highschool parking lot with a bag full of Nerf footballs and for every lame riced up car I see, a football get pushed up into its fart tube.


That'd be priceless, may I join you? ^.^

[Solstis]

On 2004-07-27 14:40, Subliminalgroove wrote:
I always wanted to sneak around a highschool parking lot with a bag full of Nerf footballs and for every lame riced up car I see, a football get pushed up into its fart tube.



The sad thing is, a regular size football would often fit.

[LollipopLolita]

Scejntjynahl, it's all in pure fun, a joke a joke, don't you get it? i have nothing against irish people, in fact there's a particular one i'd care to grope.

i mean hell people asian worship i understand that. but please know what the stickers mean before you put it on your car's ass. seriously, lots of people do it and to some asians (SOME NOT ALL) it's a little silly because most people who do it have no clue. if you have a real appreciation, good for you. in this case, said kid put a "princess" sticker on his car. nice....



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: LollipopLolita on 2004-07-28 12:18 ]</font>

[navci]

Well said.
The reason Honda civic is usually the car of choice for this kinda thing is cuz..... everyone is doing it to their civic. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_frown.gif Poor car.

[AUTO_]

On 2004-07-28 12:16, LollipopLolita wrote:
in fact there's a particular one i'd care to grope.

http://www.mtv.com/shared/media/news/images/f/Colin_Farrell/sq-colin-farrell-swat-intv-.jpg?

...

http://film.onet.pl/_i/news/duze/c/conan_obrien_1.jpg?



in this case, said kid put a "princess" sticker on his car. nice....

Maybe he's just an artsy-fartsy dude...hence the orange car color?

[TheOneHero]

Ah, you must "Fear the Stripe". A 1990 Blue plymmoth voyager... spray painted over and over with 3 shades of blue... a yellow racing stripe down the middle and "1337" on the side.

A spoiler made of plywood, and bolted onto the luggage rack... So shitty, you have to, open the sliding door WINDOW, for you to open to side door AT ALL. Twis' my brothers car. For those of you who live in Fort Wayne, i am sure you have seen it before.

*we had to take off the spoiler since it was said it was a "safety hazard" probably right. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wacko.gif *

Another nice feature of it: Sevral magnets from various pizza places. "Fox hound, Dominos, Marcos, Papa Johns."

Now the "Stripe" has been retired, selling it to a junkyard for 25$. For my brother, and all that knew the wonderful "Stripe" it was a sad day.

Hopefully when my brother returns, i will ask him if he still has a picture of it...

until then, im off to hunt Pal Rappys....

EDIT* Dam typos. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_nono.gif

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: TheOneHero on 2004-07-28 13:49 ]</font>

[Axispoint]

There's this moron in my town of wow, 4K people (give or take a few hundred), that drives this hot pink car. I cringe everytime I have the unfortunate pleasure of seeing this piece of trash.

I used to have a bunch of anti-ricer pages bookmarked, but sadly, I don't have them anymore (you know, got a new computer and had to wipe my HD because of a faulty boot sector http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_frown.gif ). Anyway, I do have two links for people to read. The first one might be recognized, as I'm sure someone here knows who he is, but I found his page a long time ago by this rant:

http://maddox.xmission.com/civic.html

I think Lollipop will agree with his little rant, lol http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wink.gif

The other one is from Geoff Fraizer's site (anyone who's played Diablo 2 or any recent Blizz game probably knows who he is). And he's got pix, too http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wink.gif

http://www.expectnothing.com/CAR/rice.shtml

Enjoy http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wink.gif

[HAYABUSA-FMW-]

A movie quote comes to mind upon reading this topic:

"Why do you want to make your car go faster anyway? Where are you going?" -upon some kid showing off how he spent some larger amount of money on his engine mods for an RX7.
Or close enough to that, not exactly word for word.

This one might be bad to say haha:
"Why don't you see any asians in the Daytona 500?"

Street racing is a type of hobby/lifestyle/etc, so is improving cars by tuning. Just check out any magazine stand anywhere for like Dupont Registry, Sport Compact Car, Import Tuner, etc.(these I see in US store magazine racks, not speaking for any other countries here. There are people out there who do it correctly, and poseurs who do it incorrectly. Just like in any hobby, sport, or what-have-you.

Any kid out there might be playing True Crime Streets of LA and running around in the "civic-rocket" looking car thinking its cool; said kid finds his own way to a Civic of his own and makes it in the image of said imiginary Civic. This is just one scenario eh?
NFS:underground, etc, etc.
Good ranty rant. Hmm. Thanks lolli.
I read a few Sport Compact car Mags and enjoyed doing so. Won't pick up a Orange Civic with oversized lawnmower sounding muffler though with a huge spoiler, rest assured. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_smile.gif

Edit:
typos bad
"lawnmowed" haha "lawnmower"



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: HAYABUSA-FMW- on 2004-07-29 00:00 ]</font>

[Liquid_Bacon]

I've got a website for you guys:

You might be a Ricer if... (http://www.goingfaster.com/spo/you_might_be_a_ricer_if.html)

I work as a Mechanic and so I see way too much of this stuff every day. My latest tale of Ricer stupidity is a guy who came in and bought a set of front brake pads. After installation, he noticed that his brakes hardly worked at all. He brought his car in to the shop and we were shocked to find out that he had installed the brake pads backwards and didn't hear the shims tearing appart his rotors because of his Rice Boy super-loud stereo.

[Xaos127]

On 2004-07-27 14:27, KodiaX987 wrote:
What about Honda CR-X? I thought it was the prettiest hatchback ever invented and put on Earth! ^_^

Thats my ride!! its silver and a beast. if only i had a digital camera