FanFic: The Four Heroes. Chapter 4 is up! The Ruins.

[PSOCecilJake]

This is one I've been working on lately... I have 4 parts, one for each Area of Episode 1, and 2 parts for Episode 2... and 1 part for Ep3... (more of 2.5...) I'm not done with 3 yet. Uh.. the characters are based on me and my friends characters, and this is also hosted at Fanfiction.net (username: PSOCecilJake) so... without further adu...

Phantasy Star Online: Episode 1: Chapter 1: The Lost


Chihiro smiled. "Stupid creature... you don't stand a chance against me." The Sil Dragon roared, furious that someone had invaded its territory. "Yeah, yeah, you would just love to kill me wouldn't you?" she smirked, "Sorry. That will not happen, by you, or anything else." It roared again, and blew a blast of ice at her, lowering its head as it did so. "Perfect!" Chihiro jumped over the ice, and onto its head. She drew her favorite weapon, the Demolition Comet, and shoved it directly into the creatures skull, shattering bone and brain matter.

Then it disapeared. She was standing all alone, on Pioneer 2. "Ahhh... that was fun!" Chihiro said, and smiled. She put her weapon away, and headed back to her dorm.

Pioneer 2, a transportation ship, taken off from the planet Coral many years ago, had been orbiting their proposed future home, Ragol, for about 7 years now. But when the scout ship, the first ship to arive at Ragol, Pioneer 1, mysteriously exploded by some dark force, the Pioneer 2 government hid it all. For all the people knew, Pioneer 1 was busy creating new homes, for them to live in.

But, hunter's knew the truth. Hunters knew about that 'dark force.' The hunters were trained, and hired, to destory that force.

"Did you hear?" Chihiro heard a man say to another man, "Another hunter was killed on Ragol! They say the animals did it!"
"Must be some animal if it can kill a fully trained hunter!" The other man replied.
'I wonder... what's going on down there... I hope Bahn's ok...' Chihiro thought. She stopped to get some food, and saw her roommate, Fei-Yen, a female human force. Her long blue hair shone like a light, and Chihiro could of sworn she used it as a light once. She was reading a book, on techs. She seemed to be checking out Gibarta...
"Chihiro, please stop looking over my shoulder. It's annoying."
"Oh! Sorry. Just curious to see what you were reading." Chihiro smiled, "So, what 'ya up to?"
"Ah, nothing really. You?"
Chihiro smirked, "5th Sil Dragon today. Pretty good, eh?"
Fei frowned, "No."
"Huh.. oh no.. not that lecture again!"
"Chihiro! You know what that VR system does to you! Think, with all the random occurances that happen, and the way it's on Pioneer 2 a lot, don't you think that it will do something to you? To the way you see real life? It's known to make people paranoid..."
"Jeez, I'm fine!" Chihiro started back to the VR machine, but was watching Fei, afraid she might try something, "See you later."
"Chihiro! Don't walk away from me! See how your watching me? That's the effects!" Fei yelled.
"Shut up! Leave me alone!" Chihiro ran back down the hallway, away from Fei.
"Hmph," she pouted, "some friend... 'looking out for me,' ha! She's just afraid... that I will surpass her! I will follow my orders, and find out what happened on Ragol! But to do that, I must be strong! Fei doesn't understand... I have other motives.... but..." Chihiro saw a man being pulled from the machine, by guards.
"Why don't you understand?! Pioneer 2 is covered in monsters! LISTEN TO ME!!" he bellowed.
"Shut up! You are coming with us, and be quiet." the guard said.
"You're with them!! You can see them!" The man rambled, "YOU!! Tell them!! Monsters, everywhere!!"
"Um.. me?" Chihiro squeaked, "There are no monsters here..."
"Oh, don't worry about him. He's been in the training machine a little too long... jeez, we need to get that thing outlawed... we lose more hunters day by day..."
"Is it still on?" Chihiro asked, looking at the broken machine.
"Of course not, that one is off for good. And soon, they will all be off... you'd best say away from them, just look at this guy." The guard glanced at the man, who was still screaming, only to be tranqalized. "Jeez, noisy one." The guards continued on.
"Oh... maybe... I should stay off it... Fei says I act like that sometimes... no more! No longer will be use it! I'm strong enough as I am!" Chihiro laughed, "I can take on the world!!" she yelled, holding her arm up in victory.
"Chihiro! What are you doing??" Fei asked. People were staring at Chihiro.
"Oh! I'm done with that machine, it screws with your mind." Chihiro pointed to her head, and swirled her finger. "Oh, Fei... I'm... sorry, 'bout how I acted... it was uncalled for..."
Fei smiled. "It's ok, I'm just glad to hear that your off that machine. C'mon, let's go home, I'll make you lunch."
"Oh, thanks." Chihiro smiled.
They returned to their dorm, Chihiro happily, and admiringly looking at Fei. Fei was like a big sister to Chihiro. She exceled at almost everything that she tried, unlike Chihiro, who barely passed her Hunter's Licence exam.
'I hope... she stays off that thing...' Fei thought.


Chihiro had cleaned her plate, a smiled at Fei. "Thanks, that was great!"
Fei was just finishing her's. "Oh, thanks. I boiled some Booma meat, in Rappy broth, everything who tried mine seems to love it!" Fei grinned. "Your the only person."
Chihiro stood up. "Alright, isn't it almost time for work?"
Fei stood up, shortly after that. "Oh... your right. C'mon."


Fei and Chihiro worked together in clearing Ragol of its wild animals that mean harm to hunters, as well as secretly discover what that dark force was. Recently, in a large forest, a enterance to a cave was found. Only a few hunters are allowed inside. The monsters inside vagely resembled those found in the forest, but only physically. Current genetics test show very little connecting the genes.

They arrived at the Principle's Office. "Hunter Chihiro-Sen and Force Fei Yen, you are assigned to the forest at cordinates 075.75, 123.47." Principle Tyrell, the ships commander, said as he handed them their assignment documents.
"But that's the weird forest, with that newly discovered cave! Why us?" Fei gasped.
"We have confidence that you two will be fine. We are sending you into that cave, if you can make it, we are also giving you 10 telepipes, 5 each, for escaping in case it gets too rough in there. I'm positive you know how to use it? Just break off the tip, ad place it face down on the ground, and slowly pull it up." He handed them both 5 tiny tubes. "If you encounter resistance, human or otherwise, eradicate it. No other hunter is offically cleared for that area. When you finish, I want a full report. Questions, ask my secretary, Irene."
Chihiro turned to the woman. "Are we allowed companions on this quest?"
"Yes, 4 people are allowed in a Hunter Party."
Chihiro smiled. "I know just who to call..." Fei and Chihiro bowed, and left.

"I'm planning on asking Angel to help." Chihiro said.
"My brother? Sure you can contact him?" Fei asked.
"I hope so. He would really help." Chihiro said, and walked to her visiphone.
"Insert Hunter ID." The machine's automatic voice said.
"Fallen Angel. ID Number 9745692." Chihiro said.
"Connecting....................... connnected. Transfering........."
"YES!! Finally!" Chihiro cheered, "Fei!! It's transfering!"
"Really?!" Fei ran over to Chihiro, almost tripping over everything in the room on her way there.
"Hello?" a man with long black hair, Angel, asked.
"Angel! Long time no see! How have you been?" Chihiro asked, excited.
"Busy... you?" He asked.
"We need you to--" Chihiro was cut off, because Fei praticly through her out of her chair.
"Angel!!" Fei pratically screamed.
"Fei! Heh, did you throw Chihiro off?"
"Hey, I haven't seen you, or talked to you, in sooooo long!! Why haven't you called?!"
"Well... I've been busy... and..."
"Surrrrrrrrre you were..." Fei looked away, but then looked back, with a smirk.
"Well, we would like you to help us, we are to explore the newly discovered cave, and the surrounding forest."
"THAT forest... well, sure. I'll see you guys at.. is 8 AM ok?"
"Yup! We will see ya then!" Angel hung up, as did Fei.
"You completely threw me off...." Chihiro whimpered.
Fei giggled. "Sorry, I hadn't seem him for sooooo long!"
"Hehe, well, it's alright. Well, who else should we recruit?"
"Hmm... how bout Aphrodite? She could really help."
"Right, I'll call--" Chihiro was cut off by small lights flashing.
"Oh! I completely forgot!! We're on call for guard duty!" Fei quickly said. "C'mon!"

Fei and Chihiro ran though countless hallways, as fast as they could, to get to the main teleporter. "I completely forgot we were call call, too!!" Chihiro yelled.
They ran though at least 10 different hallways, and arived at the town center, were guards had surrounded.. something, they couldn't see it. But the guards had their guns out, and ready.
"Let us through! We are the hunters! What came..." Chihiro was pushing her way through the guards, until she saw what they were pointing their guns at. She stopped, amazed at what she saw.
"...Bahn?! I thought... you were... well, I didn't know WHAT to think, after you just disapeared..." Chihiro quietly said.
"Angel, why are you here? Why are all these guards here? What's going on...?" Fei quietly asked the same thing, whom she thought was Angel.
One guard scanned it, "That isn't my wife! That thing has the same sort of power in it as the thing that caused the Pioneer 1 incident!!"
"Bahn..." Chihiro echoed, and walked into his open arms. Bahn is Chihiro's brother, whom she, like any sibbling would, loved very much, but they were seperated, along with Chihiro's parents, when they left on Pioneer 1. "I... missed you... so much..." Chihiro hugged him tightly, almost in a sleep-like state. When she felt a sharp pain in her right arm! She was stabbed by something! It put some sort of black thick liquid in her body, and she felt it travel though her veins. She looked at him, her eyes clouding up, but in his, she saw nothing.
"Chihiro!! It's ano illusion! Chihiro!!" Fei screamed. That whole time, Fei was screaming, but she never heard her.
Surprised to be found out, the creature tried to back into the teleporter, but it was quickly torn apart from bullets from the guards. Seeing this happen to her brother, Chihiro fell to the ground. and started crying, the creature's black blood coating Chihiro. "Stop it!! You're killing him!! Stop...." she screamed.
Fei walked over to her friend, and gave her a soft hug. "That wasn't Bahn... or Angel. It was some sort of evil creature, Chihiro."
Chihiro looked at Fei, confused, and tired, and quietly said, "They killed Bahn..." and fainted.
"Chihiro?" Fei asked. "Chihiro?!" Fei asked again, gently shaking her. "Oh god, someone get a medic!! She's been stabed by something!!" Fei screamed, and some nurses ran to Chihiro, loaded her up on a strecher, and ran her to the ER.
"Chihiro...." Fei quietly said, lowering her head.

It was 7 hours later... Chihiro was still out, and Angel had arrived. He looked at her. "This odd change in her blood stream... it's darkening her blood..." He observed, "Fei, I'm not supposed to tell you this... but I must. Those 'mysterious' caves... they arn't mysterious at all. A few select hunters, myself included, have been exploring those caves for a while. We arn't positive what that creature was, but we are hoping to find out soon.
"Ok, ok, but do you have any idea when she will wake up? And if anything will be wrong with her?"
"Well, she should wake up in 5 weeks or so... but it won't be Chihiro... it will be a mindless monster...
Fei gasped. "No... we must help her!"
"I don't know how..." Angel sighed, "For now... she's lost."


Chihiro screamed, in pain it seemed. Fei, who was still at her friend's side, softly weeped. "I can't give up... I refuse to!" she placed her hands above Chihiro's heart. "Anti!" she said, and cast it.
Nothing happened. Fei cast it over and over again, but to the same effect. After many tries, she had exhausted all of her strength. Chihiro still had a look of constant pain on her face, and it hurt Fei to see her friend in such a sad state. From outside the doorway, Angel too was watching, and it hurt him even more...
After a while longer, Angel left back to study the blood sample from Chihiro. "It corrupts any cell it touches... Chihiro may already be gone..." He sighed, and returned to Chihiro's room, to give Fei the bad news.
When he arrived, he saw a doctor talking to Fei, who quickly got excited. "That's right... I got it!" The doctor exclaimed.
"Have what?" Angel asked, his hope suddenly renewed.
"An antidote!" Fei said, excited.
"We arn't positive it will work forever, but it should reawaken Chihiro to her old self. Just inject this," he held up a needle, "into her blood stream. It will freeze the darkness cells, and leave her regular cells alone. We arn't sure how long this 'freeze' state will occur, but... she can take it again, to help her." The doctor walked to Chihiro limp body. He slowly injected it into her neck.
"Please work..." Fei whispered.
They saw the color return to her face, and she stirred a bit, but after a while of that, she opened her eyes.
"Wha... where... am I?" she asked in a daze.
"Your alive!" Fei hugged her friend, and Angel stood there, and wiped his eyes.
"Yeah... AH! A needle!" Chihiro screamed and pointed at the needle.
"Don't worry, it's empty, we don't need to use that anymore." Fei said.
"Use it anymore? Who did you use it on in the first place?" Chihiro asked.
"You! After that darkness creature injected its blood into you, you fainted!"
The doctor cleared his throat. "Chihiro, you must be careful to not let ANYTHING with a darkness cell remotely involved with it anywhere near the inside of your body. If you do, we may not be able to help you then. You will need to give yourself one of these shots every month, to insure that you stay alive."
"Stay... alive... I'm alive because of..." Chihiro sighed, "Jeez.... well, lets go to that forest!" Chihiro exclaimed, and hopped up. "C'mon! We don't have time to dilly-dally!" Chihiro was pointing toward the door.
"Be careful! Don't over do it!" Angel said, and as if on cue, Chihiro started to stagger, and fell. Just in time, Angel grabbed her, and she supported herself on him.
"Thanks... I guess I'm not ready yet..." Chihiro said, looking at Angel, and smiled.
"I guess not... you should rest, then we can leave tommarow. I already contacted Aphrodite on our mission. She will be ready tommarow."
"Wow... you think of everything..." Chihiro said, and fell asleep.
"She won't be herself for some time..." Fei quietly said to Angel.
Angel just looked at Chihiro, and sighed.

Later that night, Fei took Chihiro to their dorm. Chihiro was fast asleep, and some of her color had returned. Fei was checking the Pioneer 2 Network for another cure, but the problem wasn't even listed in the directory.
"It's like... nothing else can help her..." Fei sighed.
"Maybe destroying the source of the problem. The darkness itself."
Fei laughed, "Destory darkness entirely? That is impossible."
"No, the creator of the darkness cells in Chihiro's body."
"Hmm.. nice idea... wait... who--" Fei turned around, and saw Aphrodite standing in the door way. A tall HUcasel, dark yellow in color. "Oh, hello." Fei smiled.
"What are you still doing up? You need your rest tommarow."
"But... I'm--"
"Don't be worried. the doctors said that she would be fine. Let it be. Go to bed."
"...... alright." Fei finally said. She went into her room, but before she did, Aphrodite heard, "Why didn't I attack sooner... because of me Chihiro..."
"No, you couldn't of known. Don't blame anyone, just live off that mistake. It may happen again."
Fei wiped her cheek. "I'm sure... Chihiro hates me now..."
"That's foolish! Fei, Chihiro thinks of you like a sister, and she knows that you did your best to help her! Don't beat yourself up over this."
"... Your right." Fei smiled, "That was a stupid thought. Good night." Fei opened her door to her room, when she heard a scream!
"AHHHH! IT'S BACK!!!" They then heard sobbing screams. Fei and Aphrodite hurried to Chihiro's room.
"What... is it?" Fei stood there, and looked at Chihiro, who was screaming, wide awake, but at nothing.
"It's here!! Can't you see it?!!" Chihiro screamed.
Fei walked slowly to Chihiro, and patted her shoulder. "There's nothing there." And as if a veil was lifted from Chihiro's eyes, she settled down.
"There... is nothing there... but..."
"Your just delerious. Settle down... go back to bed."
"Oh... ok... sorry... but... I don't want to die..."
"You won't die.. I will protect you. We will all protect you. Don't worry."
Chihiro started to cry, softly. "I go from being a problem... to a burden..." Fei gave Chihiro a hug.
"Your not a problem, or a burden... now stop worring, and go to sleep."
Chihiro obeyed, and fell asleep. Fei went to her room, and did the same.


It was the day of the mission, and Chihiro had settled down. Fei her prepaired herself with tech practice, Aphrodite had adjusted her guns... and Angel hadn't arived. They were waiting in front of the teleporter. Chihiro was so bored, she was watching the lasers go from bottom to top of the machine, and over again. "Come on, Angel... where are you?!" she asked, to no one in particular.
"Sorry I'm late." Angel said, walking out of the Hunter's Guild.
Fei ran up to Angel and hudded him. "I was thinking that you forgot." She smiled.
"Na, you know me. I don't forget, and I'm probably more prepaired then you are." He smiled back. He looked to Chihiro, "Feeling better?"
"Much. Thanks..." she shyly said.
"Um... alright, Aphrodite? Ready?" Angel asked.
"Of course." She responded.
"Right!" Chihiro said, getting excited.
Everyone walked into the teleporter... and suddenly, before them stood a lush forest. Fei cast Shifta and Deband on everyone, and the regular round of 'thank you's were passed around.
Chihiro looked around. It was calm. She heard many birds, but could not see where they were. There also seemed to be a path, leading them. 'Maybe Pioneer 1 made it.' she thought. She motioned for everyone to follow and went on. They came to many blue lasers, going vertically up 2 long metal bars. There was no way around them. So, being the brave adventurer 'Yeah, right.' Chihiro thought with a smirk, she walked through them, and was greeted by 3 large mole looking things that burrowed out of the ground.
"Boomas... 3 of them. They are just native creatures, not much trouble there." Aprodite analized.
"That one's mine!" Chihiro yelled, and ran to one, and cut it across the face, killing it instantly. Fei followed up with a large Foie blast to the chest of another one, also killing it. They looked at each other, and smiled., but forgot about the 3rd...
"Fei! Chihiro!" Angel called, "Look ou---" But he was cut off, as Chihiro cut it in the face, and Fei blasted Foie at it, simutaniusly. "Ok... I see that you have that under control..."
Chihiro smirked. "We make a good team! It's been a while since we have fough together!"
"Yup!"
They continued on, killing more boomas, and the occasional rag rappy. So far, just a regular report. Until...
"Oh god!" Chihiro gasped.
"Pioneer 1's central dome!" Aphrodite exclaimed.
"I wonder... if anyone survived?" Angel grimly asked.
"I hope so... if anything could take out all of Pioneer 1..." Fei shuddered. She knew she didn't need to finish.
"The central door is broken, but the emergency teleporter is active." Aphrodite said.
"Let's go inside!" Chihiro said. She ran toward the teleporter, but stoped right in front of it, "Come on!" She called to everyone.
"There's no stopping this..." Angel quietly said.
"That's Chihiro." Fei responded. They followed.
"Let's go!" Chihiro excitedly siad, raising her arm in a cheer. And before they knew it, they stood in a devistatingly empty Central Dome.

"Wha... WHAT IS THIS?!" Chiriro cried.
"My... god... everything, everyone is gone!" Angel said.
"No... Ryudo... Kagato... you guys too..." Chihiro whimpered.
"Who?" Aphrodite asked.
"They were Chihiro's old friends... they were on Pioneer 1..." Fei explained, and Chihiro wailed louder.
"And... mom and dad!" Chihiro cried harder.
"Hey... you..." Angel sniffed, "you smell... something..?"
"I... ya, I do... smoke!" Fei gasped.
They felt a rumbling. "Chihiro!" Angel tried calling to Chihiro, who was in the middle of the wreckage. "CHIHIRO!" But it seemed that she couldn't hear him.
Everyone looked up, and a large red dragon flew in through a hole in the ceiling.
Chihiro glared at the dragon. "YOU! YOU DID THIS!!" She screamed.
Face covered in a blanket of tears, Chihiro charged the dragon, screaming. It roared, but Chihiro didn't flinch. She kept running, and took a hard upward swing with her Demolition Comet at the creature's throat. Upon cutting it, the blood sprayed all over Chihiro, who didn't even care. It roared in pain, but didn't die.
"Chihiro! It didn't cut through the throat! It just angered it!" Aphrodite yelled. Chihiro looked back. She saw Fei motioning to come back. Chihiro looked at the dragon again. It was regaining it posture.
'They are wasting my time...' she thought.
"Chihiro! Think! We need to be together, and near a wall, so the fire will have less area to spread, and less wreckage around us!" Fei yelled, but Chihiro ignored her.
She glared at the dragon, and screamed, "Shut up! I know what I'm doing! And I'l do it alone too!"
The dragon blew fire, but Chihiro jumped out of the way.
"Chihiro!" Angel called, "Chihiro!! Damnit!" Angel yelled, and ran to help her, Fei and Aphrodite following.
The dragon turned to Chihiro, and roared. It looked directly at her, and Chihiro felt bound. She couldn't move. It roared again, and slammed it foot down on her. She screamed, horrified. It opened it's mouth, ready for a snack.
"Chihiro!" Fei screamed.
Chihiro stopped crying, and closed her eyes. 'So... this is how my story ends...' she laughed, 'Pretty short for a 'great adventurer...' she laughed again, 'Who am I kidding... great adventurer my ass! Mother.. Father... I will join you .. soon... wait for me...' she thought. All of a sudden, a large round figure appeared beneath her, on the ground.
"What the??" Chihiro asked.
"A Photon Blast!" Angel marveled.
Chihiro's small mag was spinning around and around and around, and a giant creature, with shining skin, and large sharp pillers at the end of its body appeared, and fired a multitude of lasers, all of which dodged Chihiro, and crashed into the dragon.
"Pilla... I didn't think it existed..." Angel slowly said.
The Pilla disapeared, leaving only the four, and the dying dragon.
"Thank you..." Chihiro whispered. "Everyone..." She drew her Demolition Comet, faced the dragon, which was now lying on the ground, and shoved it in between its eyes. All the way through. The dragon roared, blood gushing from the wound.
"Rest in peace, everyone..." Chihiro whispered.
Aphrodite, Fei, and Angel stood bac, watching Chihiro slowly turn to face them, and she said, "Let's go." She said. She pointed at a new opening. "Further in."
Fei ran to Chihiro, and hugged her, "Oh, I'm glad your alright!"
"That was amazing! I've never seen a mag work so hard to protect it's master before!" Aphrodite exclaimed.
Chihiro chuckled. "C'mon. I don't want to force you."
"Yeah... but we should return to Pioneer 2 first. Fei?"
"Ya, absolutely."
"Alrighty." Chihiro opened the telepipe, and they returned to Pioneer 2.

Back on Pioneer 2, the four returned, standing in front of the Principle.
"Good... nice report. Now, what did you want to talk to me personally about?" he said.
"Sir... a large dragon attacked us... the kind that we thought were extinct. It was in in Pioneer 1's former Central Dome." Chihiro said.
"You found the central dome?!" the Principle exclaimed.
"Well, yes, but... everyone... was dead..."
Oh.... oh... I'm sorry...... well... please, continue with the investigation... oh, Rico..."
"Yes sir."

As they were leaving, Chihiro turned to Fei, "Rico?"
"Rico Tyrell, the Principle's daughter, who was on Pioneer 1... everyone called her Red Ring Rico for her red rings she wore... she's the reason that they are so popular now..." Fei explained.
"Oh..."



To Be Continued...



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: PSOCecilJake on 2004-08-23 11:32 ]</font>


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: PSOCecilJake on 2004-08-23 11:33 ]</font>


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: PSOCecilJake on 2004-08-27 11:52 ]</font>


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: PSOCecilJake on 2004-08-27 14:06 ]</font>


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: PSOCecilJake on 2004-08-30 21:11 ]</font>

[PSOCecilJake]

So... um... oppinions... anyone? Or has anyone even READ this thing...

god, 13 views all day, depressing... if anyone even cares, I'll post the next part.

[KaFKa]

although i only skimmed it, go ahead and post the next chapter. people have a tendency of not responding after reading.

from what i can see, you need to work on your format and details. as it stands this reads like a script for a movie/tv show.

http://www.pso-world.com/viewtopic.php?topic=71031&forum=12&29

read that topic, and try to use it in your writing.

[edit]
oh, and dont worry about number of views. if someone likes it, word'll get out. like my last fic that i seemed to have lost inspiration on, it got to 200 views before chapter 2, yet only had 27 replies.



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: KaFKa on 2004-08-24 07:37 ]</font>

[PSOCecilJake]

lol thats how I've taught myself to write, like I'm doing a script. However, this is a old part, I did it last year, I'll post the 2nd part later today.

[PSOCecilJake]

Here's part two...



Phantasy Star Online: Episode 1
The Memory


"Chihiro... never forget us..."
"Mommy... daddy...! Don't leave me! I need you..."
"We will always be with my, my sweet..."
"We are your guardien angels... trust us..."
"We swear, we will protect you from the darkness."
"...Mommy... daddy... thank you..."

An alarm rung. "Chihiro, time to wake up!" Fei called. Chihiro yawned.
"I know... I'm up!" Chihiro called.
"I made apple pancakes, come get them before I eat them all!" Fei called back.
Chihiro's mouth wattered. She quickly put her clothes on, and ran into the kitchen. Inside the kitchen, Chihiro saw Fei smiling.
"Well, here you go." Fei put the plate down in front of Chihiro, who praticly inhaled them.
"Don't choke!" Fei laughed.
Chihiro made a sound, that sounded like a muffled "I'm not!"

After they finished, Fei asked, "You ok... about yesterday? You mouth was moving durning you attack on the dragon, but we didn't hear anything..."
"Well... my closest childhood friends, Ryudo and Kagato... as well as my family... were on Pioneer 1... When they left, I was all alone. Before the dragon attacked... I saw two ID cards on the ground... but no bodies... I couldn't believe it... I didn't believe it... until... when that Photon Blast came, I heard my parents... they sounded as loving as they always have," Chihiro smiled, "But... I was positive that they died... I don't know by what though... and then... last night... I heard them again..."
"A dream?" Fei asked.
"Yeah... but, it seemed real. I saw my mom and dad... they were hugging me... and protecting me from darkness that was closing in on me... I don't know how... but I think that they were that Photon Blast!"
"Pilla... dreams and memories of those lost... or could it be every Photon Blast? Maybe... the mag just puts it in material form?"
"My strong love, memories, and feelings must of made that Pilla." Chihiro looked down, and whispered, "Mom... dad... Bahn... I miss you all so..." Chihiro sniffed.
"You ok?" Fei asked, suddenly deciding that she needed to take the role of big sister to Chihiro now more seriously, "Me, Angel, and Aphrodite can go to that cave by ourselves... you can stay, and recover."
Chihiro flashed a heart warming smile, "No, it's ok, dont worry. I'll come."
"We... might find something more that... might disturb you down there in that cave." "I understand that."
"Hmm... oh, Chihiro, your parents were high ranking officals to be on Pioneer 1, right?"
"Uh... dad was kindda low, but mom started to soar through the ranks after they left Coral. Why?"
"I've heard that some officals... were murdered by something, an experiment that went ary. The rumor says that it is a giant worm like creature, it's venom mutates animals, but it like acid to humans and numans. It... melts them from the inside out..."
"No way, mom and dad wouldn't let that happen... they could fight... but... why would Pioneer 1 be breeding and mutating monsters??"
"Your guess is as good as mine... I'm guessing that... maybe for protection from Ragol's monsters?"
"Like that old collectable monster craze from a few years back... but in real life... creapy." Chihiro shuddered.
"But it's only a rumor." Fei reminded her.
'Mom and dad.. they were never home... and Bahn was always at collage... he WAS pretty smart... really smart... much smarter then I could ever be... that's why mom and dad chose him to go instead of me... I guess... maybe I should hate them for that, and leaving me all alone... but.. I guess... it helped me grow, and expand my skills... I mean, I would of been a burden to them...' Chihiro thought.
"Hey," Fei tapped Chihiro's shoulder, "We should get going, the others are bound to be waiting for us... hey. Are you sure you want to come?"
Chihiro nodded, and grinned, "Of course, you act like I'll just get in the way... but you forget, who killed the dragon?"
Fei sighed, "You did..."
"I did, didn't I!" Chihiro laughed.
Fei sighed again.

Fei and Chihiro met up with Aphrodite and Angel 2 hours later, and Chihiro explained the dream to them.
"Hmm... your explanation seems logical..." Angel said.
"I completely agree," Aphrodite agreed, "I guess that's why my Photon Blasts are so weak... I remember nothing of my family, or creator."
Chihiro pointed to the teleporter. "C'mon everyone! Let's go!" Chihiro ran though it.
Angel sighed, "You sure she's ok...?"
Fei smiled, "When she says yes, I believe her. You should too, she's very strong."
"Ya, I guess..."

Upon entering the myserious caves, everyone felt a blast of extremely hot air rushing into their faces.
"Wow! That's hot!" Chihiro exclaimed, faning herself off.
"Jeez, it's like a volcano!" Fei said.
"It is 110 degrees farenhite in here." Aphrodite analized.
"I don't care how hot it is... I will find out what happened to my parents!" Chihiro shouted.
Everyone nodded. "Don't worry, we will find out." Fei said. Everyone walked through a door, and found a large room with a lava flow coming from the ceiling.
"Wow..." Chihiro quietly marveled.
"All of a sudden, many lizard-like creatures appeared. They hissed, and ran toward the party. Chihiro drew her Demolition Comet.
"Aphrodite, what are these things?"
"Um... Gil Sharks. Their skeltel structure resembles that of a Booma, with with larger bones and muscles."
"Heh, no problem." Chihiro and Angel rushed the creatures, slicing them down easily, before the things had a chance to know what was going on.
"That was easy." Angel said.
"I agree... we must be getting stronger." Chihiro smiled.
They explored the room, but, seeing no door leading deeper into the cave, Chihiro's hope dwindled on a thin string.
"There's nothing down here..." she said.
"Wait... I sense movement behind this rock." Aphrodite said, "I'll destory it." She drew her Spread Needle, and cut the rock into a multitude of pieces.
Behind it, they saw many mantis-like creatures, and their young.
"Grass Assassins. Basicly large bugs."
Chihiro and Fei shuddered. "I hate bugs..." Fei said.
"As long as we don't touch them or their children, they should ignore us." Aphrodite put extra emphisas on the 'should.'
"I hope... I wouldn't want to have to slaughter all of these excelent specimens!" Angel exclaimed.
They quietly began walking through the room, dodging the bugs.
"Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew." Fei kept quietly saying.
One of the babies walked over to Chihiro, and squeaked cutely.
"Hi there, little fella..." Chihiro said, and bent down to pet the thing, completely forgeting what Aphrodite had said.
"Chihiro! Don't!!" Angel yelled, and surprised Chihiro, who had just tapped it's head. Every Assassin snaped their heads at Chihiro suddenly.
"Eeep." Chihiro quietly squeaked. Chihiro screamed, and ran into the next room as fast as she could, screaming hystericly the whole way, not noticing the door behind her when she started running. The Assassins, completely ignoring the others, were in hot pursuit, with murder on their simple minds. When Chihiro got to the other room, the bugs seemed to forget what she did, or that she even existed, and went back to where they all were. Angel, Fei, and Aphrodite took that chance to join Chihiro.
Fei couldn't stop laughing, "You ok?"
Chihiro was almost crying from fear. "That isn't funny! I could of been killed!!"
Fei was laughing so hard, tears were coming from her eyes. She didn't stop laughing either. Chihiro turned her back to Fei, and sat down on the hot stone floor.
"That was scary... I... honestly thought I was going to die..."
Fei stoped laughing, and said "We wouldn't let that happen."
"Oh..." Chihiro sniffed, "Ya, I guess your right."
"Hey." Aphrodite pointed toward a new opening, leading to a sewer-looking passage, complete with a little mechanic raft. Everyone walked in, and Chihiro steped onto the raft.
"Come on, let's get going."
Everyone steped on it, it rumbled, and started to move.
"But why would this be here...?" Angel wondered.
"Someone knew we were coming?" Fei said.
Behind them, they heard a large spash, and a high pitched scream. "What's that?!" Chihiro gasped.
Fei cast Shifta and Deband on everyone "Be prepared." She said.
A large worm like creature, covered in bone-like armor jumped out of the water, and let loose the high-pitched scream again.
"What is it?!" Chihiro screamed, covering her ears.
"De Rol Le. A mutated... something, that isn't on my records! Be careful of its siphon on it's head, it will inject you with a odd venom that could mutate you if entered in your blood stream!" Aphrodite yelled.
"I was going to dodge it anyway!" Chihiro yelled back.
The worm swam around the raft a few times, and then jumped up onto it. It landing caused a large rumbling, and almost capsized the raft, but in the process of regaining balance, Fei and Angel fell off, and were left behind as the rapidly moving raft continued on.
"Angel! Fei! Damn it!" Chihiro screamed.
"Worry about them later, we have to kill this thing!" Aphrodite drew her Spread Needle.
"But..." Chihiro drew her Demolition Comet, "Well.. ok!"
"Watch out!" Aphrodite jumped in front of Chihiro, and was knocked back, Aphrodite falling on top of Chihiro.
"What did you do..." The large tenticle was mashed into the raft, right where Chihiro was standing, "Oh." Then she got an idea. She swung her Comet at the thing, and cut off its tenticle. The dark blue murky enzyme sprayed all over, Aphrodite, being an android, wasn't affected by the enzyme, so she covered Chihiro.
"Thanks... didn't think it would spray all over..." Chihiro said, stricken.
"Careful there." Aphrodite said.
"Yeah!"
The worm jumped off, and swam around the raft. Meanwhile, Aphrodite was shooting its head as fast as she could. The worm jumped back onto the boat. The shake almost knocked them off, but they held their ground. Chihiro hit the thing many times, breaking its skull-like helmet, and put man gashes into its head.
"We're doing it!" Aphrodite said, excited.
"Yeah!" Chihiro cheered. She kept hitting, and the worm fell off, but this time, it sunk when it hit the sewer water.
"We did it!" Chihiro yelled.
"Alright!!" Aphrodite also cheered, then they remembered.
"Angel, Fei!" They both screamed at once.
"Uh... how do we turn this thing around?" Chihiro asked.
"I dunno... wait... listen."
"...ihiro... Aphrodite..."
Chihiro gasped. "Fei?! Angel?!" Chihiro screamed.
"Chihiro, make a telepipe in the next area, once we are on steady ground. They can come through it."
"Gotcha!"
The raft stoped, and they arived at a large metal door. "I suppose we go in..." Chihiro said. They walked in front of the door, with opened with a loud sound of gears shifting. They walked in.
"Ryuker!" Chihiro cast it. A telepipe appeared, and they went through it.
Back on Pioneer 2, they saw Angel and Fei, soaking wet, and covered in sewer goo.
"Have a nice swim?" Chihiro asked, cracking up.
"Shut up..." Fei said, and sneezed.


---TO BE CONTINUED---

[PSOCecilJake]

Phantasy Star Online: Episode 1: The Unknown
PSOCecil


Upon defeating De Rol Le in the sewer, Chihiro and the party returned to Pioneer 2.

"You almost done in there?" Chihiro called to Fei, who was taking a bath.
"Um... ask again in 30 minutes!" she said, "Finally... I can relax... no monsters... no worms... no goo... just nice... warm... water..." She sank a little lower in the water.
Chihiro smiled, 'Well...' she thought, 'I can wait. I wasn't the one covered in goo at least...' Chihiro shuddered at the thought.

That night... Chihiro felt chills. Something was wrong. Something in mind told her, "This is the end... Chihiro... there's nothing you can do..." And she couldn't wake up.

"Chihiro! Time to wake up!" Fei called. But, upon hearing no response, "Chihiro?" Still nothing.
This started to worry her. "C'mon Chihiro, this isn't funny." She said, and walked into Chihiro's room. "Pfffft, still asleep. Jeez.... C'mon!" Fei said, and nudged her.
Still nothing.
"Well... I'd hate to do this, but I guess I have to..." She picked up Chihiro, and carried her into the bathroom. She put her in the shower, and turned on the cold water. It ran all down her face, and sparkled in her hair. But, still, nothing.
Fei still felt Chihiro breathing, she was warm, and still had a heart beat, but...
"It's like she's in a coma!" Fei exclaimed. Fei pulled Chihiro out of the shower, dried her off, and put her back in bed. "Chihiro... what's wrong with you...?" she quietly asked. The visiphone rang, and Fei rushed to answer it.
"Fei! Is Chihiro ok?" It was Angel.
"No! She's---"
"Asleep, and won't wake up?"
"Yes... how did you know?"
"Come to the Principle's Auditorium. There's a meeting thats going to take place there in a little while. It's going to cover this."
"But---"
"Please, save your questions for later." He said, and hung up. Now Fei was deffinetly worried.

She got herself ready, and went to the meeting.
"Hello, first off, before we begin, are there any Numan's in attendence?" The Principle asked.
Nobody raised their hand.
"As I thought... obviously, something happened to every Numan on or off Pioneer 2, that is, on Pioneer 2, or on Ragol. I have assigned 2 teams to go down to Ragol, one to find any Numan's that may be asleep in on Ragol, in the wild, and another to go to find the perpatrator. Everyone else, stay on Pioneer 2, and try to find anyone who seems to know about these mysterious... events. We will not let these Numen stay asleep!"
Everyone cheered.
The rest of the meeting went off as normal, but at the end, the principle met up with Fei, and said, "Fei Yen-Kn? I need you, Aphrodite, and Fallen Angel to report to my office in the morning. You are the team searching for the perpatrator."
"Thank you, sir! We will do our best!" Fei squeeked, and ran to tell Aphrodite and Angel.
"Hmm..." Angel thought aloud, "No doubt he already found a 4th member to join us, as he didn't ask you to find a 4th member... he most likely already found someone."
"Hmm... maybe he did." Fei said.
Fei heard a beep. She pulled out her portable visiphone, and pressed the Simple Mail button.
'Hi, you don't know me, but I'm Lutz, the other hunter assigned to the mission. I would like to meet you. Come by room 3948 tonight.'
"I think he means all of us." Fei said.
"Well, I'm ready when you are." Aphrodite said.
"Yeah, let's get this mess over with as soon as possible." Angel said.
Everyone got up, and walked to Lutz's room. Fei knocked on it, and Lutz quickly answered. "Yes?" asked the tall male force, dressed in blue.
"I'm Fei, you asked me to come."
"Ah, ok." He noticed the others, "Um... who are they?"
"The other members of our party, I figured that you would want to meet them too." Fei smiled.
"Oh... uh... yeah. That's fine." he said, after thinking for a second. "Um... so, why were you all assigned to this mission? I was because I'm an expert force." He said with obvious content on his face.
"We were exploring the mines, and that's where we were assigned to search. Oh, and... a friend very dear to me... to all of us... is a numan so..." Fei responded, looking down.
"Oh, I see." Lutz responded, and the group talked for 2 hours...


"Well, we better be going." Fei said, getting up from a chair.
"Ah, yes. I guess I'll be seeing you all tommarow, eh?" Lutz said.
"Yup, bye." Fei said.
"Nice to meet you." Aphrodite said.
Angel nodded, and left.
And everyone returned to their rooms for the night.
"Oh, Chihiro... don't worry... you'll wake up soon enough..." Fei whispered as she fell asleep.

The next morning, everyone was up and ready to head off early.
When Fei arrived, she saw Aphrodite talking to Lutz.
"What's the origin of your name? I've heard it mentioned in ancient legends or Coral. Do they relate?"
"In a way. My parents want me to be as powerful as the Legendary Lutz, and figured that they would name me after him." he replied.
"Ah... interesting..."
"Fei! You made it!" Lutz said, seeing Fei.
"Yeah, ready?" she asked.
"Yeah, let's go." Angel said.
Everyone prepaired themselves for the mission to save every Numan...

They arrived in the robotic mines, and were surprised at the number of machines and robots all around them. Floating robots, scanning for differences, computers calculating who-knows-what.
"Wow, weird." Was all Fei could say.
"Ok, somewhere in here, someone or something is putting the Numan people into that coma, we must find it and destory it." Lutz said, sounding very profesional.
"I wonder if it is a person..." Aphrodite said.
"I doubt it. Who would be insane enough, or full of so much hate that they would do that?" Angel asked.
"You never know..." Fei said.
Everyone walked through a door, and saw robots, hunched over.
"Hmmm... are they activated?" Angel asked. As he approached, they got up, and started to approach! Angel backed up, and the thing swung its large metalic fist at him, almost hitting.
"They arn't friendly!" Aphrodite said, drawing her Varista.
Fei cast Gifoie on a robot. The explosion barely phased the robot, which kept coming towards them. "Techniques don't work!" she yelled.
Lutz cast Razonde on it, and it chained to hit every robot surrounding it, short-circuiting them all.
"Of course I could be wrong..." Fei said.
"Think, Fei. Robots hate lightning, It short circuits them. Just asked Aphrodite." Lutz explained.
"Yeah." Aphrodite said.
"Ok... I'll remember that." Fei said, turning red from emberassment.
Lutz smiled, "Don't be emberassed. I'm just more experienced then you, that's all."
'Why that little....!" Fei thought, getting angry.
But Lutz suddenly seemed worried.
"Now what?" Fei asked, still angry.
"N...nothing." Lutz said, now surprised, "It's nothing."
"Whatever..." Fei said, continuing on.
But Lutz didn't seem satisfied.

A few hours later, the party was getting lost, and discouraged.
"Argh!" Fei complained, "Every room looks the same!"
"Don't worry, Fei." Lutz said, "I'm pretty sure we arn't going in circles. If you've been noticing, I've been dropping small pieces of a monomate, to mark our path." He smiled.
Fei smiled back. "Good idea."
"Thank you." Lutz said, still smiling at Fei.
Angel smiled, and quietly elbowed Aphrodite, "See that?" He quietly said, "They're really hitting it off."
"They go from hating each other, to praticly loving each other... boy, you humans are really weird." Aphrodite quietly replied.
Fei noticed that Angel and Aphrodite were quietly talking, and falling behind. "C'mon." she said. They hurried up. When they caught up, Fei asked, "So, what were you two talking about?" She asked.
"Nothing!" Angel and Aphrodite said, almost simutaionsuly.
"Whatever... it wasn't about me and Lutz, was it?" Fei asked, smirking.
"How did you---" Angel was elbowed by Aphrodite.
"We honestly don't have any idea what your talking about... we were talking about.. um... Chihiro! Boy, she's crazy, isn't she?" Aphrodite said.
"Seriously... it's about me and Lutz, right?" Fei asked again.
"Uh.... well... the thing is..." Aphrodite stammered.
"I knew it!" Fei exclaimed.
"So... do you like him?" Angel asked.
"Well... sortta... he's kindda egotistical.. but yeah." Fei said, blushing.
Angel smiled, "My little sister is growing up, I'm sure that you will tell him when you're ready."
"I... might. I dunno yet if he feels the same." Fei sadly said.
"You guys coming?" Lutz asked, far ahead.
"Oh! Sorry!" Fei said, and ran up to him.
Aphrodite looked at Angel, who smirked.
"They really are hitting it off." Angel said.
Fei and Lutz, who didn't hear them, were just looking at each other, smiling.

Hours later, they were getting even more discouraged.
"At this rate... we'll never save Chihiro..." Angel said.
"Yes we will! We have to!" Fei exclaimed.
"Hey, I see something" Lutz said, pointing to a enterance to a large circular room, with computer moniters all over. They walked in, and a large shutter slammed shut behind them.
"This... can't be good." Fei said.
"Hmm... I don't know, I'm not reading any movement." Aphrodite analized. And, as if on cue, a large symbol appeared on a moniter.
"What is it?" Angel asked.
"It's... an AI!" Aphrodite said, surprised. "It's getting weapons ready!"
"What?!" Fei gasped.
Everyone drew their weapons, except Aphrodite, who walked up to it.
"Why are you doing this? We mean no harm." She said.
"I am doing what my master commanded." It responded.
"Then, who is your master? We'd like to speak with them"
"My master is Rico Tyrell."
That caught everyone off guard.
"Rico Tyrell gave you the orders to attack us?!" Aphrodite demanded.
"Correct."
"What were her exact orders?"
"You are not authorized to recieve that information."
Aphrodite grumbled.
"This conversation is over, you shall be erradicated." The party heard weapons heating up.
"Get ready, everyone!" Lutz called.
A bolt of lightning shot at Angel, who quickly jumped out of the way. A group of moniters turned red, and a symbol appeared.
"It's moving itself, destory the moniter it's on!" Aphrodite called.
Lutz cast Razonde at it, and a moniter exploded, but the symbol had already moved.
"Get it!" he yelled.
"It's mine!" Aphrodite pulled out her Varista, and shot, destroying a small screen, and Angel finished it of, with a swing from his Black King Bar, destroying the 3 others surrounding it.
Everyone continued destroying the screans, one by one, until none remained. A harddrive appeared.
"That's its CPU! Destroy it!" Aphrodite said.
Everyone kept hitting it, and they heard a voice.
"Download complete." It said, and the harddrive blew up.
A large rumbling came from the ceiling, and parts of it started to fall to the ground. A large robot, with tons of cannons and lasers equpted on it.
"No one will interfere with Rico Tyrell's plans to disable Numans!" it exclaimed. A large piller shot down above Fei, who screamed. She prepared herself to fall under it's weight, to help cushin the fall, but she was pushed out of the way. Lutz pushed her, and he was now stuck under the piller.
"Lutz!" Fei screamed.
"Destroy it, I'll be ok! Just.. hurry!"
The piller lifted, and Fei leaned him up against a wall gently. The then glanced at the robot, identified as Vol Opt, her eyes burning with rage.
"You shall be anililated." It said.
" No... we won't let you! We will defeat you, and save the Numan people, and Chihiro!" Fei yelled, and shot her strongest Razonde at it, not knowing that she even knew the spell. "Lutz saved my life... this is the least I can do!" The electric serge traveled all throughout the machine, short circuting it. But that didnt stop Fei, who kept firing away. Meanwhile, Angel was tending to Lutz's wounds the best he could, and Aphrodite was shooting it. Parts were being scrapped, one by one.
When every part was broken off, they heard, "No... can stop... the revi... of Da... Force...." and Vol Opt exploded.
At that time, every Numan woke up, screaming, as if from a nightmare.
"Lutz! We did it!" Fei said.
"No, you and Aphrodite did it..." he tried to stand, but started to fell. Fei cought him. "I...just need some help back to Pioneer 2."
"Certainly." Fei cast Ryuker, and carried him through the teleport. Aphrodite followed. But Angel saw a large hole, from when Vol Opt exploded, leading to a odd temple. He opened a telepipe there, and returned through Fei's.

Back on Pioneer 2, people were rejoycing in the streets. The Numan people all had the same message told in their mind as Chihiro, except for one part, which only Chihiro heard. Red Ring Rico Tyrell had appeared, and said, "I sacrifice all these numans to you, master... do not worry... you will break out of your feeble mortal body... and be reborn, oh great Profound Darkness!" Rico then laughed like a cold hearted monster.
Chihiro shuddered. 'Who... or what is Profound Darkness? Who's its master... I wonder if they are any closer to finding anything out...' Chihiro ran out to meet her friends.
"Chihiro!" Fei exclaimed. Chihiro ran up to the guy Fei was carrying, and helped. "Thanks." she said.
Once they dropped the guy-- Lutz-- off at the hospital, Chihiro told Fei of the dream.
"It was only a dream, Chihiro." Fei pointed out.
"But I felt Rico. She was talking, I felt it." Chihiro explained.
"I have no idea..." Fei said.
Angel came running in, and when he saw Chihiro, he ran straight to her, and hugged her. "You're all right!" he smiled
"Yup!" Chihiro said, smiling.
"Well, I came in here to say, we need to return through my telepipe! I opened a new one, where I saw a odd temple, deeper in the mines. It's where the creatures of Darkness came from!" Angel exclaimed, "When Vol Opt exploded, it created a huge hole. Through it appears to be ruins of an ancient space ship, or temple. Dominions were everywhere!"
Chihiro shot up. "I'm going!" she exclaimed.
"Coming, Fei?"
"No... I'm going to stay with Lutz..."
"You like him, eh?" Chihiro said, smirking.
"Yeah... isn't he great?"
"Uh... he seems like just the right person for you." Angel said
"Yeah, thanks." Fei said. still smiling.
"Well, Chihiro, let's get Aphrodite, and we can go."

As they were walking out, a hyper little Numan force girl ran into Chihiro.
"Whoa, careful there." Chihiro said. The little girl smiled.
"I've finally found you!" she said, and it finally clicked for Chihiro.
"Fiona!" Chihiro squeaked.
"You do remember!" Fiona exclaimed. Chihiro and Fiona hugged each other.
"Who?" Angel asked.
"We grew up together on Coral, and she was basicly my family on Pioneer 2! But we got seperated when we arived at Ragol." Chihiro explained.
"We were like sisters!" Fiona said.
"Why haven't you talked of her before?" Angel asked.
"I... hadn't heard from her.. I figured that she had forgotten me..." Chihiro said, looking down.
"Chihiro... you know I would never forget you..." Fiona said.
"I know... wait a second, how skilled with techs are you?" Chihiro asked.
"I know them all, except Grants." Fiona replied, matter-of-factly.
"Wanna join us? We discovered an ancient ruins..." Chihiro went on to explain the whole story.
"Wow..." Fiona remarked, "Thats amazing..."
"It's a little overwhelming at times... but would you like to join us?" Chihiro asked.
"Well... why not? I need experience..." she pointed out.
"Great, lets go get Aphrodite, and get going." Angel said.
"Right!" Chihiro said, getting excited. But something in the back of her mind hurt... 'What was that voice... did it call ME master...?'

To be continued...




"I'll be waiting, Chihiro... you will awaken to who you truely are... and you friends will be murdered by your own hand... they won't stand a chance, master..."

[mr_rubbish]

Okay, i'm going to scrap together some time tommorow morning to read and comment on this...

BUT...

In the mean time, please remove that "god i suck at titles" comment from the title of the thread and instead add what the latest chapter is.

People will read the title of the thread and think "If they suck at titles, then they must suck at writing too!"

Stop doing yourself a dis-service. Promote your own work instead of belittling it.

[/rant]

[mr_rubbish]

Finally! Not the morning, but better late than never!

chapter 1

readers note: More whitespace. It starts off okay and then becomes larger blocks of text.
---

Pioneer 2, a transportation ship, taken off from the planet Coral many years ago, had been orbiting their proposed future home, Ragol, for about 7 years now. But when the scout ship, the first ship to arive at Ragol, Pioneer 1, mysteriously exploded by some dark force, the Pioneer 2 government hid it all. For all the people knew, Pioneer 1 was busy creating new homes, for them to live in.Not sure if you are intentionally altering the story line at this point or perhaps that you confused the details. According to the various people that harassed me over it, P2 takes two years to travel from Coral to Ragol. P1 left Coral 9 nears ago, arrived 7 years ago and then spent that time creating lovely monsters to fight. P2 arrives, the dome explodes, the story begins.
If this is set 7 years after the explosion of the central dome, I think the public would realise that something was TERRIBLY wrong.
---

"...Bahn?! I thought... you were... well, I didn't know WHAT to think, after you just disapeared..." Chihiro quietly said.
"Angel, why are you here? Why are all these guards here? What's going on...?" Fei quietly asked the same thing, whom she thought was Angel.
One guard scanned it, "That isn't my wife! That thing has the same sort of power in it as the thing that caused the Pioneer 1 incident!!" The bold bit is a 'what the heck is going on?' moment.
---

"Bahn..." Chihiro echoed, and walked into his open arms. Bahn is Chihiro's brother,Mixing past and present tense. It is correct to say 'was' in this instance.
---

It put some sort of black thick liquid in her body,How did they know it was black?
---

"...... alright." Fei finally said. She went into her room, but before she did, Aphrodite heard, "Why didn't I attack sooner... because of me Chihiro..."
"No, you couldn't of known. Don't blame anyone, just live off that mistake. It may happen again."
Fei wiped her cheek. "I'm sure... Chihiro hates me now..." another slightly confusing bit.
---

Chihiro smirked. "We make a good team! It's been a while since we have fough together!"Where did they fight together? The VR room? It seems like this is their first trip to the forest.

chapter 2


When Chihiro got to the other room, the bugs seemed to forget what she did, or that she even existed, and went back to where they all were.I hope you are not going to constrain the story with such a game convention...
---
Readers note: is this going to be a forest->ruins tour of the bosses?

chapter 3


"Fei Yen-Kn? I need you, Aphrodite, and Fallen Angel to report to my office in the morning. You are the team searching for the perpatrator."Only four people are chosen to search the entire mines for someone who is assumed to be the perpertrator and is assumed to be there? Why wouldn't the perpertrator be on board the ship instead?
---

[snip]and the group talked for 2 hours...

Everyone prepaired themselves for the mission to save every Numan... These 2 examples spoil the flow of the story.
---

"No one will interfere with Rico Tyrell's plans to disable Numans!"Now THAT'S a plot twist! http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wink.gif
---

Back on Pioneer 2, people were rejoycing in the streets. The Numan people all had the same message told in their mind as Chihiro, except for one part, which only Chihiro heard. Red Ring Rico Tyrell had appeared, and said, "I sacrifice all these numans to you, master... do not worry... you will break out of your feeble mortal body... and be reborn, oh great Profound Darkness!" Rico then laughed like a cold hearted monster. Readers note: all the Newmen receive a telepathic message that they're being sacrificed and then wake up? not exactly being sacrificed are they? Unless it was Vol Opt that was making all the Newmen asleep? How did he manage that then?
---

"Well, I came in here to say, we need to return through my telepipe! I opened a new one, where I saw a odd temple, deeper in the mines. It's where the creatures of Darkness came from!" Angel exclaimed, "When Vol Opt exploded, it created a huge hole. Through it appears to be ruins of an ancient space ship, or temple. Dominions were everywhere!" Contradictions and confusion. First its a temple and then it's a spaceship or temple? Creatures of darkness? how does he know this? Dominions? If you meant Dimenians, how did Angel know they were called that?


In summary....

It is close to better than good, but there are a few things holding it back.
I've listed a few of the points above.
The bit in the caves where Chihiro does the comedy routine with the Grass Assassins seems too out of place, the rest of the fic is of a more serious tone and it clashes.
You have added sub-plots but it doesn't really feel like much more than a forest to ruins run, the story rushes through to tag the next boss almost. Though there were some nods to characterisation they don't feel properly integrated.
An example is the mention of the Fei/Lutz romance. It doesn't feel natural at all.

It's hard to know what to recommend other than a re-write in order to make things more detailed and more clear. Normally, I wouldn't feel the need to recommend such a thing, but your story is long and too detail-lite.

Keep plugging away and have a look at the layout used by your favourite novelist. Your formatting needs work.


Keep going!


[edited for intro]

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: mr_rubbish on 2004-08-28 07:39 ]</font>

[PSOCecilJake]

On 2004-08-28 07:35, mr_rubbish wrote:
Finally! Not the morning, but better late than never!

chapter 1

readers note: More whitespace. It starts off okay and then becomes larger blocks of text.
---

Pioneer 2, a transportation ship, taken off from the planet Coral many years ago, had been orbiting their proposed future home, Ragol, for about 7 years now. But when the scout ship, the first ship to arive at Ragol, Pioneer 1, mysteriously exploded by some dark force, the Pioneer 2 government hid it all. For all the people knew, Pioneer 1 was busy creating new homes, for them to live in.Not sure if you are intentionally altering the story line at this point or perhaps that you confused the details. According to the various people that harassed me over it, P2 takes two years to travel from Coral to Ragol. P1 left Coral 9 nears ago, arrived 7 years ago and then spent that time creating lovely monsters to fight. P2 arrives, the dome explodes, the story begins.
If this is set 7 years after the explosion of the central dome, I think the public would realise that something was TERRIBLY wrong.

Welll uh... dont know how to explain that lol... the pubic is a bunch of idiots...I guess..
---


"...Bahn?! I thought... you were... well, I didn't know WHAT to think, after you just disapeared..." Chihiro quietly said.
"Angel, why are you here? Why are all these guards here? What's going on...?" Fei quietly asked the same thing, whom she thought was Angel.
One guard scanned it, "That isn't my wife! That thing has the same sort of power in it as the thing that caused the Pioneer 1 incident!!" The bold bit is a 'what the heck is going on?' moment.

I guess I needed to explain that better, it showed that people saw the creature, a diminion (sp), as a person that they longed for the most.
---


"Bahn..." Chihiro echoed, and walked into his open arms. Bahn is Chihiro's brother,Mixing past and present tense. It is correct to say 'was' in this instance.

Oops.
---


It put some sort of black thick liquid in her body,How did they know it was black?

Well, uh.. I don't know... oops again.
---


"...... alright." Fei finally said. She went into her room, but before she did, Aphrodite heard, "Why didn't I attack sooner... because of me Chihiro..."
"No, you couldn't of known. Don't blame anyone, just live off that mistake. It may happen again."
Fei wiped her cheek. "I'm sure... Chihiro hates me now..." another slightly confusing bit.

Well, it means that Fei is afraid of what Chihiro thinks of her. Fei is despret to please, and she's overly afraid.
---


Chihiro smirked. "We make a good team! It's been a while since we have fough together!"Where did they fight together? The VR room? It seems like this is their first trip to the forest.

You are correct.

chapter 2



When Chihiro got to the other room, the bugs seemed to forget what she did, or that she even existed, and went back to where they all were.I hope you are not going to constrain the story with such a game convention...

That was just a joke, I was just tryin' to have a bit of fun.
---
Readers note: is this going to be a forest->ruins tour of the bosses?

chapter 3



"Fei Yen-Kn? I need you, Aphrodite, and Fallen Angel to report to my office in the morning. You are the team searching for the perpatrator."Only four people are chosen to search the entire mines for someone who is assumed to be the perpertrator and is assumed to be there? Why wouldn't the perpertrator be on board the ship instead?[/quote[

The people on P2 are searching the ship. The party is searching Ragol.
---


[snip]and the group talked for 2 hours...

Everyone prepaired themselves for the mission to save every Numan... These 2 examples spoil the flow of the story.

Again, whoops.
---


"No one will interfere with Rico Tyrell's plans to disable Numans!"Now THAT'S a plot twist! http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_wink.gif

Ya, I thought that was a pretty cool part... if I do say so myself.
---


Back on Pioneer 2, people were rejoycing in the streets. The Numan people all had the same message told in their mind as Chihiro, except for one part, which only Chihiro heard. Red Ring Rico Tyrell had appeared, and said, "I sacrifice all these numans to you, master... do not worry... you will break out of your feeble mortal body... and be reborn, oh great Profound Darkness!" Rico then laughed like a cold hearted monster. Readers note: all the Newmen receive a telepathic message that they're being sacrificed and then wake up? not exactly being sacrificed are they? Unless it was Vol Opt that was making all the Newmen asleep? How did he manage that then?

Uh... a machine that made a high pitch fequency thingie that only numans can hear. *nods*
---


"Well, I came in here to say, we need to return through my telepipe! I opened a new one, where I saw a odd temple, deeper in the mines. It's where the creatures of Darkness came from!" Angel exclaimed, "When Vol Opt exploded, it created a huge hole. Through it appears to be ruins of an ancient space ship, or temple. Dominions were everywhere!" Contradictions and confusion. First its a temple and then it's a spaceship or temple? Creatures of darkness? how does he know this? Dominions? If you meant Dimenians, how did Angel know they were called that?

They saw one before, it infected Chihiro. And Dimenians... yeah... I haven't played PSO in a while... soo...


In summary....

It is close to better than good, but there are a few things holding it back.
I've listed a few of the points above.
The bit in the caves where Chihiro does the comedy routine with the Grass Assassins seems too out of place, the rest of the fic is of a more serious tone and it clashes.
You have added sub-plots but it doesn't really feel like much more than a forest to ruins run, the story rushes through to tag the next boss almost. Though there were some nods to characterisation they don't feel properly integrated.
An example is the mention of the Fei/Lutz romance. It doesn't feel natural at all.

It's hard to know what to recommend other than a re-write in order to make things more detailed and more clear. Normally, I wouldn't feel the need to recommend such a thing, but your story is long and too detail-lite.

Keep plugging away and have a look at the layout used by your favourite novelist. Your formatting needs work.


Keep going!


[edited for intro]

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: mr_rubbish on 2004-08-28 07:39 ]</font>
[quote]



It isnt supposed to be much more then a Forest->Ruins quest. It just has a few lil side notes put in. And I noted how everyone's based on a RL PSO character... Fei and Lutz are married in real life so... I had to do it. And besides, I tried to show that it was love at first sight.

So... thanks for the review, I think...

[PSOCecilJake]

Phantasy Star Online: Episode 1: The Darkness
PSOCecil


Chihiro woke up, screaming, in a cold sweat. Fiona ran in. "What's wrong?" she asked.
"I just... had a nightmare..." Chihiro said.
'I can't tell her what...' Chihiro thought, 'it would frighten her too much...'
"Has Fei gotten home?" Chihiro finally asked, after a long pause.
"Not yet, she called though. She does want to return until Lutz is ok, she said." Fiona said.
"Oh... well... looks like we gotta leave without her. Meh, we're only allowed to take 4 people anyway... stupid rule..."
"Oh well. Call your friends and we can go."
Chihiro did so. Angel and Aphrodite were already up and ready.

Fiona and Chihiro arrived at Angel's telepipe, still on Pioneer 2. Just reaching it, it releaced a unsteady flow of pain, and suffering. Chihiro felt ready to throw up, but it didn't seem to effect Fiona at all. Angel and Aphrodite were waiting.
"Who's your friend?" Aphrodite asked.
"Oh, this is Fiona." she steped forward and smiled, "We grew up together... don't worry, she's a graet force." Fiona turned red, and Chihiro laughed.
"Stop it... your emberassing me..." Fiona said and smiled.
"It's obvious you two know each other." Aphrodite said.
Chihiro smiled, "That's Aphrodite." She said.
"Hi!"
"Are we going?" Angel said.
"That's Fallen Angel, we just call him Angel." Chihiro explained.
"Weird name..." Fiona remarked.
"Well, his real name is Christopher, but he goes by Angel."
"Oh."
"We should get going, now that everyone knows Fiona." Chihiro said, and stepped through the telepipe. Everyone followed.

When they arrived at the ruins, they were all overcome with the same feeling of death, and suffering that Chihiro was a few minutes ago, all except Fiona. She seemed oddly fine. Looking around, the only word that could come to Chihiro's mind was 'Death." Everywhere she looked, felt, smelled, everything... she shuddered.
"Umm... Fiona, you can turn back whenever you want.... in case this is too much for you." Chihiro said.
"Oh, no, it's fine." She said.
Aphrodite had ran into the next room, and ran into a creature that she killed, with Angel's help.
"Chihiro! Come, quick!" Aphrodite called.
"Hmm? What's up?" She asked, walking up to the android.
"Be extremely careful here... remember, these are darkness creatures, don't let them cut you, or get any of their blood or skin secretions into your body... it would mean your death." Aphrodite said, grimly.
Chihiro gasped, "Well.. I can be careful.... but I'm not turning back... and besides, something was calling to me, and I want to answer it."
"But what if it's bad?" Angel asked.
"Then, we destroy it!" Chihiro said, smirking.
"Well, Chihiro... I can cover you, when we fight." Angel said.
"You sure you don't mind?" Chihiro said.
"Absolutely." he responded.
Aphrodite hurried ahead, "C'mon, I don't want to stay in one place for too long, I wanna get out of here as soon as possible."
"Hey... Angel... thanks." Chihiro said, smiling at Angel.
"Hey, no problem." He said.
Chihiro and Angel hurried ahead.
"No... master... I cannot... harm her... please... don't make me..." Fiona said under her breath.
"Coming, Fiona?" Chihiro called.
"Oh! Sorry!" The young numan girl ran to join the rest of the group.

Everytime the group ran into a monster, Chihiro tried her hardest to stay behind it, or behind Angel, and, so far, she was succeding. Then one caught her off guard. She screamed, seeing the Diminion's arm blade coming crashing down on her skull. Angel ran up to it, and stabbed it in the back, stopping it dead. It howled in anger and pain, and fell to the ground, a crumpled heap.
"T..thanks... it surprised me..." Chihiro admited.
Angel smiled, "I said that I'd protect you." he said.
"Yeah..."
Durning hthis time, the creature woke up, and with the last of its strength, slashed Chihiro's ankle. It left a gash the size of a pen, and cut to the bone. Chihiro gasped, and looked down. A single tear ran down her face, and she fell unconcious.
"No! That wasn't supposed to happen!" Fiona pleaded, "Master, I begged! I begged that you would spair her life!"
"Chihiro! Damn it! Damn it, Fiona, you sound like you know what's going on! If you had anything to do with any of this... so help me god... I will slaughter you...." Angel said, with pure hate in his eyes.
Everyone heard a quiet speaking, almost wind-like, uncomprehensible.
"Master, they do not deserve servitude! They are only simple humans!" Fiona pleaded, again.
"Hey!" Aphrodite called.
"What the hell is going on!?" Angel started to walk towards Fiona, weapon in hand.
More wind-like speaking.
"Master...!... I see..." Fiona turned to the group. "I am truly sorry..." she said.
"Fiona?! What the god damn hell is going on?!" Angel screamed.
"I am sorry.. master has chosen you 2 to become her servants..."
"Who's master?!"
"I belive that you humans call her Dark Force... or Dark Falz..." Suddenly, Fiona transformed into a Deminion, and died. It appeared that someone had just killed it, but who?
Red Ring Rico walked out of a shadow, with a grin on her face.
"Rico! It's you! You, the traitor of Coral! Of Pioneer 1 and 2!"
"Ha, traitor, you should all be happy! Soon, all of Pioneer 2 will also be the great Dark Falz's people! And together, we will be able to rule the galexy! From Fornax... to Algol... everything will be ours! And yet, you people... you do not want that power?!" Rico yelled.
Angel just glared at the traitor. "What did you do to Chihiro?" He asked, with pure hate in his voice.
"Oh, don't worry... she is getting ready.... for her grand reawakening!"
"What the hell are you talking about?!"
"The Profound Darkness is returning! It will once again strike terror into the hearts of everything, and SHE is its material incarnation!"
"You're insane! Chihiro isn't darkness! And it was destroyed thousands of years ago, in Algol, by Sir Chaz Ashley!" Aphrodite yelled.
Rico crackled, "It cannot be destroyed! While he thought he destroyed it, all he did was damn his own bloodline! A future Ashley, in this case, Chihiro-Sen, shall be its material incarnation! And I found her!"
Suddenly, Chihiro's eyes opened, darkness filled in them.
"Master! You have awakened!" Rico screamed.
Chihiro walked to Angel, who was shaking.
"Chihiro...." Angel quietly said, "No..."
Chihiro saw the fear in Angel's eyes, and fell to the ground, unconcious again.
"What?!" Rico yelled.
Again, Chihiro's eyes opened, but this time, they shone with light.
"What?! NO! What is going on?!" Rico shrieked.
"I, the Great Light, have given this girl my strength..." said a man through Chihiro's body, "The sword of legend... Elysdion..."
"Elysdion..." Angel slowly said in amazement.
Chihiro stood up, suddenly, in front of her, she saw all the former defeators of Dark Force, her ansistrors... some wern't related to her... but were still heroes.
"You must be Chihiro." Said a woman, in a large red coat, and long hair, Alis Landale.
"Yes, but I must get back to my friends! I have to save them!"
"Never fear, time is frozen here." Chaz Ashley said.
"But I can't relax! I'd like to speak with you all, but I must help my friends!"
"We understand." Alis said.
"Good luck." Chax said.

The light in Chihiro's eyes disapeared, and she grinned.
"Rico... no, whatever the hell you are now... you and your 'master' have toyed with my life for far too long..." she grinned again, "Not even Red Ring Rico stands a chance against the legendary Elysdion."
Fiona reappeared. "Chihiro... we're still friends, right?"
"How dare you steal my memories of Fiona... and use if to trick me. Fiona died a long time ago... I tried to block if out of my mind because it hurt so much.. and I did... but you brought it back."
Chihiro disappeared into a flash of light, and a multitude of large flashes cut 'Fiona' in mutiple places, all over her body, black blood spraying all over. Chihiro reappeared behind 'Fiona' and swung Elysdion down, hard, in a verticle slash, and 'Fiona' fell to the ground, covered in black blood.
"Your turn, Rico." Chihiro said, grinning.
Rico ran at Chihiro in anger, but before she could reach her, Chihiro had stabbed Rico through her face. Black blood fell down Rico's face, and she smiled, the blood moving to the groves in her face. "Dark Force... will live... you can't stop me now..." she slowly said, and died.
"....... It's over..." Chihiro said, and looked at Elysdion, "But why isn't Elysdion gone?" she asked
"It isn't over," Alis said in her mind, "Dark Falz has found it's host."
Rico's body twitched.
"Everyone! Something's wrong! Chihiro said, and snapped her head over to see Rico's body, as it begain to twitch more.
"It's not over..." a voice came from Rico's body, but it wasn't Rico's buetiful voice, it was that of a twisted, deranged monster, "It will never be over!"
Rico's body floated life-lessly in the air. There was a very large wave of darkness behind her. It envolped her, and retreated to the next room. Taking a deep breath, Chihiro began to follow, but she heard Alis's voice, "No! To go alone would be suicide! Get help!"
"Right." Chihiro cast Ryuker, and everyone went through it.
Back on Pioneer 2, Aphrodite started to leave "I'm not getting myself killed." she said, and left.
Everyone said their goodbyes, and Chihiro called Fei. "Fei?" Chihiro asked, obviously tired.
"Chihiro, Angel already told me everything, I'm so sorry I wasn't there to help!"
"You still can.. it's not over..." Chihiro explained the whole story.
"My god! This... could determine the fate of... everything!" Fei exclaimed.
"I need help... badly... hey, it Lutz better?" Chihiro asked.
"Oh, yeah," Fei giggled, "He's great... doing great, I mean!"
A tired smile passed Chihiro's lips, "Hehe, right."
"But now isnt the time for that, We'll come, me and Lutz, and so will Angel again. We'll meet you at your place!" Fei hung up.
"I guess I have time to... relax a bit..." Chihiro dozed right off.

"....Chihiro?..... Chihiro?"
Chihiro yawned, "Ah, I'm ok... just dozed..." Chihiro yawned again, "... off a bit..."
"It's ok, " Angel smiled, "You deserved it.
Lutz steped forward, "So, your the Chihiro that Fei keeps talking about."
Chihiro nodded, "And your the Lutz Fei talked about."
He smiled, "That's me."
"Is everyone ready?" Chihiro asked.
"Yeah, we're all ready, lets go!" Fei said.
"Right." The walked into the telepipe, and prepaired themselves for a showdown with the ultimate evil.

When they came out of the telepipe, they were in a small valley, covered in flowers, with a large stone piller in the middle, and an alter in front of it.
"Where... are we?" Chihiro asked.
"Could the telepipe of messed up?" Lutz asked.
"No... Dark Falz made this place look like... this... let me check.." Chihiro checked a digital map. "Hmm... it can't find us?!" Chihiro yelled, "Whats going on??"
Fei was walking around, and stopped at a flower, she sniffed it, "Hey, it's great here.." Fei appered almost dilerious, "It's perfect here..."
"Yeah... it is, isn't it?" Angel said.
"Hey! Something must be wrong with those flowers..." Lutz said.
Chihiro handed Angel and Fei Sol Atomizers, and they ate them, and felt instantly better.
"Wow, that was weird. It gave me the idea that this place is perfect..." Fei said.
"Hey, doesn't this look out of place?" Chihiro asked, walking to the piller.
"It does..." Angel slowly said.
"Hmm... I wonder..." Chihiro walked to the alter, and placed her hands on it. Suddenly, every flower wilted, and died. Beneath the flowers... were the bodies of humans, numans, and androids.
Fei and Lutz gasped, and Chihiro looked ready to throw up. Angel looked at the bodies, horrified. They all heard the sound of flesh ripping, and something pushed out of the carcases chests.
"What the...?"
"This can't be good."
Large, spiked, top-looking things burst out from the chests of the bodies, covered in blood, and a few had a purple light in them.
Fei cast Rafoie on them, and only the ones with the light appeared to be damaged by it, and disappeared.
"Apparently, only the ones with the light can be hurt! Go for them!"
Chihiro drew a Varista, and started shooting, as did Angel, as Fei and Lutz cast Rafoie. When only one remained, Chihiro drew Elysdion, and drove it through the thing.
"Wow... that was a little easy..." Chihiro said.
The ground started to violently shake.
"I knew it wasn't over!" Fei called.
The piller started to glow, and everyone jumped off the stone surrounding it.
Stone flaked off of the piller as flesh was underneeth. The Piller was eventually a piller of flesh, with a almost-human body on top.
"Rico! Rico's on top!" Chihiro screamed.
"You! You have all witnessed my marvelous rebirth! I am you're new ruler! None of you can even hope to stand up form! Here or Algol!"
"Rico! Listen to me, stop this... your father is worred about you... he misses you..." Chihiro said.
"W...what?! Daddy...... ah! Help! I'm not in control of myself! I haven't been since we entered Ragol's atmophere! This... entity is Dark Falz! Kill it! Kill me! Kill me now!" She screamed.
"C'mon." Chihiro pointed Elysdion at her, "I'll save you. We'll save you." Chihiro ran at Rico... no... Dark Falz.
Dark Falz grew round cylinders with mouths at the end at the bottom of her piller-like body. The mouths turned on Angel, who started slashing away with his Black King Bar. Suddenly, one came behind him, but Chihiro slashed the head off with Elysdion. Tar-like blood was squirting everywhere, coating Chihiro and Angel. Dark Falz howled in pain, meaning it wasn't invincible.
Fei started casting her newest tech, Grants, a holy spell, as rapidly as she could. Lutz joined in. And Angel was swiging his Black King Bar quickly, critically damaging the creature.
"Everyone, we're doing it!" Chihiro called, over Falz's howls.
Fals raised its arms, and a multitude of lasters flew out. A few seconds later, they came crashing down.
Chihiro and Angel ran out of the way, and Fei and Lutz created a large shield of ice, that protected them. Following this, Falz's lower half seemed to melt into a large orb, held by strong pieces of flesh. The orb was slowly pulsating. Angel hit it, and Falz again howled in pain.
"The orb! It seems to be a weak spot, like it's heart! Go for it!" Angel called.
"Gotcha!" Chihiro said. She swung almost madly at Dark Falz, hoping to cut open the orb. Annoyed, Falz fired a large laser into the air, and it came crashing down on Chihiro, who didn't have time to move. She was hit, and flew to the ground, screaming in pain.
"Chihiro!" Fei gasped, and ran over to Chihiro, to cast Resta on her, to help her. But before she got there, another laser struck Chihiro, who didn't scream, or even move when it hit her. Angel feared the worst, as did Fei and Lutz.
"Chihiro?!" Fei cast resta on Chihiro, while Lutz and Angel kept Falz busy. But nothing happened. Fei cast it again, but again nothing. Fei felt Chihiro's pulse... and felt nothing. "No! Not now! We had almost won..."
Falz stoped attacking, and moved to Chihiro's corpse. Rico began to speak. "Master, ou will leave that pitiful body, and be reborn... the greatest terror ever to fight the humans!"
Elysdion flew into the air, and flew straight into the ground. A light came out of it, and a girl appeared.
"Hello." she said, "My name is Alis Landale..."
"Alis Landale?!" Angel exclaimed, "THE Alis Landale?!"
She smiled, "At least someone remembers me..." the smile quickly faded, "but we must hurry, as I have only frozen Falz for a minute, give or take a few seconds... Chihiro has been killed. By dark hands, none the less. That means that The Profound Darkness WILL be reborn, and Elysdion cannot allow that, and neither can I. She must be returned to the living. Her soul is still in her body, and can be revivied. Fei Yen-Kn, Chihiro's closest friend... I give this, Reverser, to you. An ancient technique to breath life into the freshly dead... use it wisely..." Alis disapeared into Elysdion, which flew back into Chihiro's hands.
Fei's eyes opened wide, "I know it!" She looked at Chihiro. Fei shone in a bright light. "We cannot allow The Profound Darkness to be returned... I will lock it away, deep within Chihiro's soul... and she shall live again... reverser!" The light moved from Fei, to Chihiro, who slowly stood up. The light still on Chihiro, she walked up to a suddenly frightened Dark Falz, who stood defenceless. Chihiro drove Elysdion right through the orb. Falz and Rico screamed in pain.
"Master...?" Rico softly said.
"No, The Profound Darkness will never be returned to life again. Ever." Chihiro said.
Falz fell to the ground, dead. The party saw Rico's spirit fly up to the sky. They watched in awe.
"Thank you..." they heard.
Elysdion disapeared, and Chihiro heard "Until we meet again..."
Saying nothing, they returned to Pioneer 2, to speak with the principle...

Epilogue

Chihiro led a relitivly normal life after defeating Dark Falz. Once again, the government is keeping the whole story from the citizens. Chihiro is currently rumored to be reciveing a new mission to Gal Da Val island, where she will be joined by Fei, Angel, and Lutz...

Phantasy Star Online: The Four Heroes
Fin