FanFic: alternation-chapter 3 is now up!! woot

[EphekZ]

ok well my last one sucked after reading kafka's guide I think I might do good this time haha o well here goes anyways give me some pointers/criticism

Prologue- the alternation-8 years after the incident of olga flow


Clod put his hand on the scanner [automated voice] "please come in force Clod", he walked through the hall to the lab and saw the bio lab was open. ?Hmm who is in there?? Clod quickly walked quietly through the doors to the lab.

Clod saw another lab worker badly injured on the floor; he quickly ran to him and kneeled down.

"What the hell happened",

The injured worker could barely talk"d..dr dr.Osto"

Clod made a surprised expression on his face? what about him he did this! Crap!?

?yo?you mussst..stop him?.? The worker stopped breathing and died

?wait.. no don?t die crap.!? Clod ran down the hallway as fast as he could he started thinking to himself.
? Dr.Osto but why.

Clod finally got to the bio-lab it was a circular room with a couple of containment tubes for wild animals. He looked around the room then saw Osto behind a computer.

?DR what are you doing in here why did you kill the other lab worker what is the meaning of this!?

Osto looked up and started laughing ?haha Clod you are so na? do you really think I could do that? KILL somebody I am way to weak?.

?Heh you are right about that so then how did you do it??

?allow me to show you my newest creation? he pressed a key on the keyboard and a containment pod slowly opened.?

Clod gazed upon the booma but it looked bigger, stronger and vicious. ?wha..what the hell is that thing!?

DR.osto started to chuckle again? by altering the D-cells I can make any monster stronger, faster, smarter more vicious anything he is only a booma imagine what I can do with lets say a hildebear.?

Clod quickly replied? but why, why in hell would you do this??

Osto got an angry look on his face?why, why! Revenge MR. Flowen betrayed my father he infected him with D-cells and turned him into that monster Olga Flow.

"You idiot!" clod quickly replied " osto teste d-cells on flowen!"

"lies!! I don't care I will destroy every being on pioneer 2 with my army of monsters hahahaha. I will now leave you with my booma? osto clapped and the booma woke up ?My dear booma get rid of this pesky person, ta-ta Clod? Dr. Osto blew a hole in the wall and quickly made his escape.

?Crap, I can?t go after him I will have to just deal with this booma? Clod quickly pulled out his rod and got ready to battle. ?ok let?s se how good you really are you ugly bastard. Clod charged at the booma ?DIE!!!? Before he could attack the booma swung his huge claw and hit him in the chest, he quickly fell to the floor.

?Damn, he is strong? the booma roared and charged at Clod ? crap umm think think?.wait boomas are weak to foie? He got up and cast a RAfoie, the booma roared but still keep coming damn! The booma reached clod and swung at him, Clod barely dodged the booma?s attack but his robe took the damage his had to giant cuts through it one of his sleeves were now off. Clod quickly casts GIbarta ?c?mon c?mon work!? the booma froze in his tracks, Then Clod pushed over the booma and it shattered into several pieces.

? Heh, damn that Osto hopefully I can stop him in time before that hildebear gets put on roids haha? Clod sighed and passed out on the floor.


edit: I dont have time it changed all the quotation marks inot qeustion marks gah sry dont have time ill fix it later







<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: darkgunner on 2004-09-19 21:17 ]</font>


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: darkgunner on 2004-09-20 20:25 ]</font>


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: darkgunner on 2004-09-21 18:48 ]</font>


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: darkgunner on 2004-09-22 21:08 ]</font>


<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: darkgunner on 2004-10-02 11:38 ]</font>

[AngelEyez]

OK..You dont need to put Clods name through everything ya know.. Clod this Clod that. You could put HE instead. like Clod quikly replied, he then...... get it. well if you dont just copy and paste it rite off word you wont have the question mark problem. Other than that keep writin, ur off to a good start. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

[EphekZ]

ah ya well I was kinda scared cuz last time people said I didnt clearly say who was talking >_>

[AngelEyez]

On 2004-09-20 06:41, darkgunner wrote:
ah ya well I was kinda scared cuz last time people said I didnt clearly say who was talking >_>



I understand. Hmmmm. If its a group i guess you can put his name over, but if its just him or another person its safe to put HE.

[EphekZ]

ok this time I'll write in this post instead of miscrosoft word...ya...


chapter one- CLOD'S REQEUST


Clod wlaked into the hunter's guild "HI I would like to place a quest"

"Huh, ok may I have some details and amount of money being paid?"The stuartes asked.

" o uh well just say I am looking for 3 hunters perferably a hunter, force and a ranger each, I will pay them myself and they will not need to come back I am sorta just advertising"

"hmm ok well I will give put up the quest as soon as possible thank you I will send for you by via bee when I get 3 people"

" ok thankyou very much.walks out of guild"hmm well I guess I'd better go to the shops and stock up"walks to shops"hmmm well btter get dimates monomates hell everything"[few moments later]
"ok well lets insert the barrier, frame and all set better get home"

[back at the house] " ah it feels good to be home" Clod went to is room changed out of his torn robe and put on some pants"hmm rumble rumble wow I must be hungry didn't even notice" he put the water kettle on the stove to boil while he put some leftover lo mein into the the microwave DING! he opened the microwave door put his plate on the table to cool off"The tea must be done too"he grabbed teh tea kettle and poured it into the glass then put the teabag inot the cup and stirred" yum I cant wait to eat"

"ah, that was good" he said as he gulped down the rest of his tea BEEP! he looked over to his computer" wow they already found some people great!"He went to his room and changed into his thrashed robe"hmm I really need to buy a new robe"

[at the guild] Clod walked into the guild and saw the 3 hunters.

the first hunter was a FOnewm with red clothing and a hat with two green puff balls at the end which were green, he was a bit shorter than Clod. He looked very experienced and and reliable.

The second was a RAcast he was as tall as they come with black plating, very intimadating

the third was a VERY attractive HUnewearl. She was a bit shorter than Clod with a nice body. she was wearing all white clothing and had blonde hair.

Clod after seeing the three hunters walked over to the HUnewearl. He kissed her hand and introduced himself" I am Clod a force and I could not help but notice your beuty, now may I ask your name?"

She pulled her hand back and replyed" I am not interested in dating im interested in the quest, and my name is jenn"

Clod was heartbroken of the reply but he keep a straight face...barely " ah yes I am sorry forgive my rudeness let me start over, I am Clod teh force nice to meet you...jenn"

He walked over to the FOnewm and said" ah yes I am glad to have another force on the team this would make it very interesting your name please?"

the FOnewm looked up" yes this should be pretty interesting my name is zero and pleased to be of assistance."

Clod then walked over to the huge RAcast and greeted himself

" um err nice to meet you? my name is um err Clod"

the RAcast's eyes grew an evil red and answered I am 009 but I do not care of your name or about you just tell me the quest so we can get started."

in fear of 009 "um err yes the information I cannot waste time but I have some bussines to take care of before tomorrow so I will give you the information tomorrow at the forest. meet me atthe transporter at 900 beats."


well thats chapter 2 hope you liked it yes Clod is a slave to good looking girls haha yes boring chapter but o well



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: darkgunner on 2004-09-20 20:51 ]</font>

[AngelEyez]

On 2004-09-20 20:23, darkgunner wrote:
ok this time I'll write in this post instead of miscrosoft word...ya...


chapter one- CLOD'S REQEUST


Clod wlaked into the hunter's guild "HI I would like to place a quest"

"Huh, ok may I have some details and amount of money being paid?" THE STUARTESS ASKED

" o uh well just say I am looking for 3 hunters perferably a hunter, force and a ranger each, I will pay them myself and they will not need to come back I am sorta just advertising"

"hmm ok well I will give put up the quest as soon as possible thank you I will send for you by via bee when I get 3 people"

" ok thankyou very much.walks out of guild"hmm well I guess I'd better go to the shops and stock up"walks to shops"hmmm well btter get dimates monomates hell everything"[few moments later]
"ok well lets insert the barrier, frame and all set better get home"

[back at the house] " ah it feels good to be home" Clod went to is room changed out of his torn robe and put on some pants"hmm rumble rumble wow I must be hungry didn't even notice" he put the water kettle on the stove to boil while he put some leftover lo mein into the the microwave DING! he opened the microwave door put his plate on the table to cool off"The tea must be done too"he grabbed teh tea kettle and poured it into the glass then put the teabag inot the cup and stirred" yum I cant wait to eat" OK HERE YOU DIDN'T NEED TO MAKE THINGS SOO DESCRIPTIVE WHEN IT DOESN'T NEED TO BE.

"ah, that was good" he said as he gulped down the rest of his tea BEEP! he looked over to his computer" wow they already found some people great!"He went to his room and changed into his thrashed robe"hmm I really need to buy a new robe"

[at the guild] Clod walked into the guild and saw the 3 hunters.

the first hunter was a FOnewm with red clothing and a hat with two GREEN puff balls, he was a bit shorter than Clod. He looked very experienced and and reliable.

The second was a RAcast he was as tall as they come with black plating, very intimadating.

the third was a VERY attractive HUnewearl. She was a bit shorter than Clod with a nice body. she was wearing all white CLOTHING AND HAD blonde hair.

Clod after seeing the three hunters walked over to the HUnewearl. He kissed her hand and introduced himself" I am Clod a force and I could not help but notice your beuty, now may I ask your name?"

She pulled her hand back and replyed" I am not interested in dating im interested in the quest, and my name is jenn"

Clod was heartbroken of the reply but he keep a straight face...barely " ah yes I am sorry forgive my rudeness let me start over, I am Clod teh force nice to meet you...jenn"

He walked over to the FOnewm and said" ah yes I am glad to have another force on the team this would make it very interesting, your name please?"

the FOnewm looked up" yes this should be pretty interesting my name is zero and pleased to be of assistance."

Clod then walked over to the huge RAcast and greeted himself

" um err nice to meet you? my name is um err Clod"

the RAcast's eyes grew an evil red and answered I am 009 but I do not care of your name or about you just tell me the quest so we can get started."

in fear of 009 "um err yes the information I cannot waste time but I have some bussines to take care of before tomorrow so I will give you the information tomorrow at the forest. meet me atthe transporter at 900 beats."


well thats chapter 2 hope you liked it yes Clod is a slave to good looking girls haha yes boring chapter but o well



Just a few errors and put what needed to be said and fixed in capital letters so you know what to do

[AngelEyez]

I love lo mein. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif N E story that has that i give an A yay....hahahah...but good and Clod isnt going to be hittin on Jenn is he....Ahh..Iv proven my point that all FOmars are seksi studs. http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

*throws rock at self* http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/icon_chuck-ball.gif

[EphekZ]

hey this is chapter 2..uh woot!

chapter 2-the payment and first battle



*BEEP!BEEP!BEEP!*"huh...*yawn*...gah what time is it..."he got up and looked at the time "huh 700 beats well guess I better get up" He rolled out of bed and onto the floor *THUD!*"oww...that hurt wow its dark"
he got up and walked over to the blindshe pulled up the up the blindsthe sun shined right inot his eyes"damn...thats bright heh"*he started smelling himself*" damn I smell"[an hour later] "ah that felt good[looks at time] damn already 800 beats can't get my robe fixed well i guess id better go"[TV turns on]

[reporter starts talking]"hello this diane meseta and last night proffesional hunter bernie died after doing a mission in the area classified as the forest"

"huh what! the forest..wait that must mean osto already altered the animals in the forest... damn hes fast"

Clod ran outside and jumpe into his car and drove off" damn 890 beats im going to be late"

at the transporter 900 beats

"where the hell is that damn force!!!"

Zero quickly replied" uh calm down jenn he will be here just stay calm"

"no!dammit if I see him he is dead!!"

Clod came walking to the transporter"uh sorry im"

before he could finish jenn yelled "LATE! ITS 930 BEATS WHERE THE HELL WHERE YOU!!"she started charging towards him

"um something caught my eye?hehe"

"MY ASS!!" she started to beat Clod

"wait..OW..I can..ah dont hit me...i can explain!"

"I dont care lets hurry up"Jenn stomped off to wait in the transporter"LETS GO!"

009 finally started to talk"before we go can I have some information on this quest"

Zero also asked if he could hear it

" ah yes"clod began" well about that i saw something and well i decided I will pay you now I only ask you dont leave if you do i wont stop you but this quest is really important"

Jenn walked back to the 3 men well fine ill just take my meseta and leave you've wasted my time enough"

Clod gave her the meseta"can you reconsider please"

"heh no" jenn took the meseta and walked away

as he was paying zero and 009 "well i guess its us 3 unless any of you will follow her? will you be?"

Zero quickly replied" no i signed up for this so hell i'll just finish my job plus im interested"

009 grabbed his meseta" yes I agree with zero i will stay"

Clod delighted from what they said "great! lets get started" as they started walking two soldiers came running to them

"HALT! starting from right now the transport to ragol is closed there have been way to many casualties we cannot let you go!"

Clod sighed "really? thats interesting well thats cool except it doesnt apply to me" he showed them his badge from the lab " these two behind me are helping me"

the two soldiers allowed them to pass" o yes um i am sorry for our rudeness"

the three men walked past the soldiers
" o and if you see a hunewearl named jenn shes with me let her pass thanks"

at the forest Clod started talking" well id draw your weapons its going to be harder than you think"

Clod started walking while the two men drew their weapons

zero whispered to 009"this is strange the forest feels weird almost different"

009 quickly replied" yes i dont really like it what the hell did that clod take us to well we better start following him"

they both ran to Clod

Clod started" ok the monsters here are stronger smarter and faster but they are the same on the outside you will see soon"

clod walked over to the switch and opened the door
"shall we start?"

the three men walked in and saw a 3 boomas eating a dead savage wolf

009 quickly stated" they they are cannibals almost they are bigger too. what the hell is this!"

Zero then started"heh dont worry i bet their cake lest go!"

the 3 men ran in. the three boomas turned their heads and roared then about 6 more boomas came out of the ground with another roar

the three men each took their own monsterthe fonewm was busy slashing the one booma with his double saber
while the racast was shooting another booma with his gatlings

009 yelled"DIE!!you bastard!"

at the same time the boomas almost unnafected hit all three men together then they circled around them

clod out of breath said"heh....still think their cake zero?"

zero got mad"screw you"

009 said"no were are all screwed theve completely got us surrounded"



ok im sorry for the long chapter atleast i left a cliff hanger http://www.pso-world.com/psoworld/images/phpbb/icons/smiles/anime1.gif



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: darkgunner on 2004-09-21 21:08 ]</font>

[EphekZ]

Well sorry It's takin so long internet was down(not that anybody cares) but anyways heres chapter 3...I think

Chapter 3-the Escape

The Booma roared as his huge claw was coming down towards the three men it was first going to hit Zero

Zero put his arms upover his head to block "NOOOO" he screamed" I dont wanna die!!!!" juts then in less than a second Clod jumped in front of Zero. The booma's huge claw struck Clod. The impact left 3 huge cuts through his chest and his left arm had been severed

as he was falling" Zero...you're ass better live" he was unconcious barely living

The door opened and Jenn came running through with a last surviverand hit a couple boomas

they all turned and roared and charge after Jenn"wha...what are these!"

Zero looked over to 009" you help Jenn I'll cast ryuker get her over here, NOW!" Zero cast ryuker and picked Clod up"hurry dammit!!"

009 jumped into the crowd of boomas and picked jenn up "hurry up we have no time" he jumped back to the telepipe"ready" they went through the warp

They reached the ship and ran to the nurses office
Jenn looked over to Clod" wha....what happened?!"

Zero ws to busy talking to teh nurse to answer and 009 didn't like to talk so none answered.

a couple minutes later Zero walked back to the three
"well they don't know if he'll be ok, they also don't know if he could get a substitute arm"

Jenn got mad" WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED!!"

009'S eyes lit up" he sacrificed himself for Zero"

Jenn could barely talk"o...well umm what do we do now?"she paused" I mean we can't go on with the mission...can we?"

Zero looked up"no we dont even know what the damn mission is!"he paused"wait...then he knew this would happen thats why he paid us before hand"

009 looked up " I have other things to do not just sit here and sob about a loss, bye" he walked off

Jenn looked to the door" well Zero you can go I'll stay here"

Zero looked at her" you sure?...heh so now you like him?"

Jenn quickly replied" NO I just feel bad plus I want to talk to him"

Zero chuckled"heh you are so naive he wont be doing much talking in his current state, well I gotta go" he walked off

Jenn sighed" well I guess I better ask If I can stay"
she walked to the counter" um I'd like to stay the night with Clod"

the nurse turned from her computer" o most certanly I'll tell the other nurse to set a bed for you"

jenn smiled " thankyou very much" she walked over to the door and entered. she looked around the room "o Clod! there you are!" she quickly ran to him

He opened his eyes"heh so what made you come now" he paused" never mind I'm tired let me rest" he fell asleep

Jenn laid down in the bed set for her" goodnight"



well thats chapter three wasn't much action sorry about that but o well

[AngelEyez]

Err..Dont mean to be harsh but there were tooo many mistakes in this one....you need to either type slower or go to word and fix it up then put it back on what ur using....hmm...and make it just a little easier to read..and some commas will ya...and u dont need to put in "he/she paused" just put in COMMAS...oy well so far so good for the plot..

[EphekZ]

Ya im was in a hurry ill go slower next chapter >_> o well anyways ya