Scejntjynahl
Oct 4, 2004, 10:54 AM
My opinions DO matter, Mr. Home Depot
I am a better cook than I am a do-it-yourself home improvement kind of person. Though, I have been known to swing the hammer and turn the screws from time to time. So when I entered the Home Depot this past Saturday with a project on my mind and a burning desire to get it started, I was not happy with the "help" that I received. An overzealous employee, I will call him "Sam Pickney" (for that is his name), took it upon himself to give me some pointers on how to improve my project. Oh yes I forgot to mention the task I had put before myself. It was a sliding door for my back porch with a built-in guillotine to keep out burglars. Sam told me to be sure to use water resistant caulking rather than normal indoor caulking. I said that since I was installing it from the inside, and as far as I know it does not rain or snow in my house, I should be okay with the regular, less expensive version of caulking. Sam then shook his head in disbelief and I heard him mumble "suit yourself." This vexed me. I took a blade from the heal of my left shoe and imbedded it into Sam's precious fucking left calf muscle. Then, in one swift motion I grabbed a staple gun that was on sale nearby and fucking stapled Sam's ear to the damn floor. He heard my opinions loud and clear after that.
PS. On Sunday the door was implemented with success upon the cranium of a pesky squirell that have been stealing my Mr. Peanuts err peanuts.
I am a better cook than I am a do-it-yourself home improvement kind of person. Though, I have been known to swing the hammer and turn the screws from time to time. So when I entered the Home Depot this past Saturday with a project on my mind and a burning desire to get it started, I was not happy with the "help" that I received. An overzealous employee, I will call him "Sam Pickney" (for that is his name), took it upon himself to give me some pointers on how to improve my project. Oh yes I forgot to mention the task I had put before myself. It was a sliding door for my back porch with a built-in guillotine to keep out burglars. Sam told me to be sure to use water resistant caulking rather than normal indoor caulking. I said that since I was installing it from the inside, and as far as I know it does not rain or snow in my house, I should be okay with the regular, less expensive version of caulking. Sam then shook his head in disbelief and I heard him mumble "suit yourself." This vexed me. I took a blade from the heal of my left shoe and imbedded it into Sam's precious fucking left calf muscle. Then, in one swift motion I grabbed a staple gun that was on sale nearby and fucking stapled Sam's ear to the damn floor. He heard my opinions loud and clear after that.
PS. On Sunday the door was implemented with success upon the cranium of a pesky squirell that have been stealing my Mr. Peanuts err peanuts.